Ethics and Etiquettes in Relationships: Part 1 (Going On Dates)

bad behaviour

Its not news that people don’t know how to act when out on a date with someone. It can be friends just going out to chill or a guy taking a girl out or a colleague taking another colleague out. In all circumstances, these simple yet often ignored rules apply.

1. Scout the restaurant: As a guy, never take a girl to a place you haven’t been to yourself before. We have all heard stories of guys who in a bid to impress a girl, they take her to a restaurant that they have never been to before with the money they don’t have. They tell the lady “babe, order anything you want to eat, its all on me”. Unknown to him just a bottle of water is N1000, she orders and when the waiter brings the bill all of a sudden he’s sweating inside AC. Remember, take a lady to a place you have been before and you know the price range of the food they offer. In situations where you don’t have much money, take her to a restaurant and give her options. For example “babe, would you prefer meat pie or sausage roll?”. Don’t pretend, order for what you can afford.

2. Don’t over feed: As a lady please and please, a guy taking you out doesn’t mean you will use that opportunity to eat for your village. You will go on a date with a girl you just met and she’s ordering for chicken and chips, chicken and rice, chicken pie, as far as they is chicken in front she will order. Ladies this date is an opportunity to get to know each other not the depth of his pocket. Be guided.

3. Dress moderately: When going out on a date, ladies please dress very moderately. Its one thing dressing sexy, its another dressing provocatively. You dress with all your mammary glands out on public display and you expect the man to maintain his composure. Please let the food make men salivate not your body.

4. Don’t arrive late: Avoid arriving late for a date and even if you do apologize extensively. Imagine going on 2 dates with 2 different guys on 2 different days. The similarities between both guys is that both came late for the date, but the difference is their reaction to coming late. One comes late and as he was on his way, he calls and keeps apologizing for coming late, he arrives and also keeps on apologizing for coming late, no matter how angry you are with him, his apologies will melt away any anger in you. On the other hand, the other guy comes late, he doesn’t even call to inform you that he will be coming late, he arrives and doesn’t even apologize, how rude. Please avoid arriving late for a date and even if you do, please apologize.

5. Pinging/Chatting: For me the rudest thing someone can do to me is pinging while we are having a conversation. Its not only rude, its shallow and very selfish. When on a date with someone, please avoid the temptation of pinging. Put your phone on silent and remove the incoming ping alert to reduce the temptation of pinging. When and if you have to ping, ask for permission before pinging and make it brief.

6. Answering calls: Have you ever been on a date with someone for an hour and 30 minutes of that time the person spent on answering calls. When on a date, answer calls that you really have to answer and please make the call as brief as possible. Its not cool to answer calls when on a date for more than 3 minutes. Before you answer any call, ask for permission like “sorry please I have to take this call” and when your done with the call, apologize for the call like “sorry for the interruption, so where were we?”

7. Use courteous words: He opens the door for you and you can’t say thank you. She pays you a compliment and you can’t smile and say thank you. He buys you food and you can’t say thank you before and after the meal. Also use words like sorry, or may I? or can I? during your date makes you sound polite and responsible.

8. Learn not to interrupt people: When the other person is talking, don’t interrupt the person even if you have something more interesting to say. Let the person finish his/her statement, then say what you want to say. In situations where you really have to interrupt and make a point, please apologize before making your point. For example, “sorry to interrupt but this is my own view of the situation”. Don’t make it a habit to interrupt all the time, once or twice throughout the conversation is more than enough.

9. Listen more, talk less and ask questions: I wrote an article on the importance of listening more and talking less: http://bit.ly/1gkxtKE. People think going out on dates is an opportunity to impress the other party so they talk and talk. At the end of the date, the person knows so much about you and you know nothing about the person. It shows a lack of interest in the person (you like me, you will want to know more about me, you will ask me questions about me). It shows how selfish you are (you just want to talk about you, you and you alone). It also demonstrates lack of character (you talk too much about yourself, you don’t want to know anything about the other person by asking them questions about themselves). When next on a date, talk less about yourself and listen more to the other person.

10. Take your money, ladies: Very important for the ladies. Please when going out on a date, please take your own money with you for two reasons.
Firstly, a lady should take money when going out on a date for her own safety. I have heard stories of guys taking girls on a date, they over eat, the guy claims to go get money from the ATM card outside and runs away. So what happens if the girl came empty handed, she will wash plate and clean the floor eeh. Lastly, going on a date with a guy doesn’t always imply that the guy most pay for the meal. Paying for the meal occasionally gets you instant respect, deflates the guy’s ego and stops him from using the fact that he spent on you against you. The guy spends on you and feels he has the right to sleep with you. If you came empty handed, you could be trapped but if you came with a full wallet, you pay for your food, excuse yourself, enter cab and go home.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. khalisy
    May 02, 2014 @ 10:58:49

    Nice write up. Its so rude when the person you are on a date with is pinging. Keep up the good work.

    Reply

  2. Trackback: Ethics and Etiquettes in Relationships: Part 1 (Going On Dates) | King Kurtis Smith’s Life Transforming Blog | thememoirsofagemini
  3. elle*
    May 06, 2014 @ 10:17:39

    So true

    Reply

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