The Best Place To Find A Wife is in A Bus Not A Church

oyimbo in danfo

Crazy title right? Don’t worry, I promise to do justice to this crazily captioned article and bamboozle convince you into believing that the best place to find a wife is inside a bus (danfo/molue) not a church.

So why is this the best place to find a wife?
1. It gets rid of pretense. People have this notion that the best place to find a wife is inside a church but I couldn’t disagree more. The church is filled with pretenders, the same girl that was grinding 3 men in the club on Friday comes to church on Sunday lifting up her hands. The same girl that just finished fighting with her landlord’s daughter yesterday is in church today serving in the choir. The same girl that is rude, arrogant and condescending in nature is in church looking all holy and righteous because eligible bachelors are around. In the bus, this is not the case. When you enter a bus, no one knows your size or capacity, no one knows where you work or how big your house is, no one knows if you are riding the bus because your car is undergoing repairs or you don’t have a car in the first place, no one knows whether you have a Bsc, an HND, a Masters or even a PhD. No one knows if you have seen a plane talkless of flying in one. The same way a rich man jumps out of a bus is the same way a poor man will jump out of a bus. The same way a rich man will request for his change from the conductor is the same way a poor man will request for his change. The same way a rich man will shout “owa” when he gets to his bus stop (which roughly means I will come down here) is the same way a poor man will shout it. To sum it all up, entering a bus makes every equal (well sorta) which gives no room for pretense.

2. It’s in the bus you see a person’s true color character. Its amazing how often this happens but its becoming a re occurring feat worth mentioning. I was in the bus some days back when a girl and her sister entered the bus. She consulted with the conductor about the bus fare before the entering the bus and according to her was told it was N100 only for the conductor to deny, insisting that the bus fare is N150. Then began the disgraceful spectacle I witnessed, the fine young lady began throwing abusive words at the bus conductor with words like “God punish you, useless man, see as you ugly, e no go better for you, stupid man, foolish man, thief, this money will not do well for you” and so much more. It almost escalated into a full fledged fight because in her own words “if you touch me I’ll deal with you”. Imagine I met her in church or any civilized gathering, would I know she had this abusive and disrespectful character in her? My secret to men, before you marry a girl, enter a bus with her and tell the conductor to seize her change, then you will see her true character..lol

3. Independent woman or opportunist, grateful or great fool. I was in the bus the other day and decided to try this approach on a lady. We were seated close to each other in the bus and hadn’t even exchanged “a hello” talkless of chatting freely. Then the moment of truth came and I grabbed it with both hands. The conductor asked her for her transport fare and I said “conductor, I’ll pay for both for us”. I was expecting to here “sorry you don’t have to or sorry I’ll pay for it myself” because she doesn’t know me and we haven’t even spoken a word to each other but what I heard was a mouth felt not heart felt “thanks” and she faced her blackberry messenger. This is the same girl that if asked for her number would say “I don’t know you well enough to give you my number” but you know me well enough to let me pay for your transport fare without any hesitation shey? Ole! The key here is a polite hesitation until the other party insists and a sincere show of appreciation even if its a meager N30 that was payed for you.

4. Humility. I remember inviting a girl over to my place some years back or so. After describing where I stay, I then proceeded on giving her directions to my place and I was like “take a bus from…” before I could even finish, she began her big girl speech. “I don’t enter public transport, you expect me to enter a bus, its not my mates that enter bus, if you can’t pay for my taxi fare then I’m not coming over”. In my mind I was like, I didn’t tell this chick to enter bus from Kaduna to Lagos o, its just from Ikeja to Surulere and she wants to cab. Marry this kind chick and the car spoils, don’t expect food when you come back home..lol

5. Wordly or worldly. It’s no secret that preachers tend to minister the Word of God in buses on transit. I was in the bus when a preacher started preaching and a lady I was seated beside began grumbling that “these church people have come again, disturbing people and later they will ask for offering and tithe..thieves”. This is the same girl that would go to church on Sunday professing her love for God but would deny Him when not in church. Hippocratic way of living. If you want to know a lady’s spiritual values, don’t ask her, talk to her about God outside church.

6. Gossip. Girls like to gossip talk and when a girl is with her friend or is talking to one over the phone then everyone in their lives is a topic of discussion. I guess its in their DNA but what a girl talks about is more important to me than how much she talks (quality over quantity). Sit down beside two girl friends, don’t mind your business and you will hear their life history including their boyfriends, schools attending, enemies etc. I was on my way to work one of those days when two well dressed ladies entered the bus, in a matter of minutes the gist commenced. “Nkechi, do you have any idea that Lola is sleeping with Ken”, “which Ken” Nkechi replied, “Ken that works in the HR department na”. It was then I remembered I had earphones in my bag, brought them out and saturated my ears with music instead of wetin concern you gossip. You approach this kind babe, Linda Ikeji will hear.

7. Tolerance and politeness. Tolerance is simply the ability to tolerate people and politeness is being nice in a nice way. A lady enters a bus and you hear “make una shift jarey, where una want make person sidon”, its almost as if she forgot her manners at home. She can’t use polite words like “please and thank you”. Maybe she wasn’t in a good mood but I believe true character shows when one is angry or upset. Relax madam, nobi quarel.

Enter a bus with a lady and you are sure to see her true character. I hope with these few points of mine, I have being able to convince you and not confuse you that the best place to find a wife is not in a church but in a bus. Thank you.

 

N.B: All faults mentioned above applies to guys too, so don’t accuse me of having an agenda against ladies. I’ll deny it in court.

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18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Onyinye..Datsall
    Jul 26, 2014 @ 08:28:48

    Wonderful write up dear. Very wonderful. And all the points you mentioned are true. Well done.

    Reply

  2. Juliet
    Jul 26, 2014 @ 13:23:41

    Extremely entertaining and very very true. Annoyingly true. So its advisable that after scoping a girl in church, you should endeavour to enter a bus with her back home to know if she practices what she learns before toasting..lol

    Reply

  3. Cynthia
    Jul 26, 2014 @ 13:28:04

    Lolz well said. You made some good points. \m/ (y) *fistbump* *fist*. I only gossip with my friends though..lol

    Reply

  4. Dr. Ufondu
    Jul 26, 2014 @ 13:52:58

    Love ur creativity and how u bring ur idea home using relative situations happening here in Lagos. I agree with u d church is not d place to find a life partner let her way of life partner with ur way of life. Well done Kurtis

    Reply

  5. lila
    Jul 26, 2014 @ 13:58:26

    True… but u can Stl find des qualities onn way or d oda in anoda plc asides d bus church club supermart etc

    Reply

  6. Oluwadammy
    Jul 26, 2014 @ 14:15:55

    The 3, 4 and 6 points are gooood. Infact all points make sense. But number 3 sha “But you know me well enough to let me pay for your transport fare without any hesitation shey? Ole!”…funnny!!!..lol

    Reply

  7. Kemi
    Jul 26, 2014 @ 17:01:39

    True talk coz church dis days are mostly filled up with hypocrites. Well written

    Reply

  8. Chuchu
    Jul 26, 2014 @ 17:08:10

    You’re on point as a matter of fact. My pastor once said that it’s not who you are on Sunday that matters but who you are from Monday to Saturday. Also you don’t get to know some people until they are very comfortable around you (especially shy people).
    People also tend to behave better around good looking people of the opposite sex. There are many factors and I agree with you that the church is not the best place to know one’s real character. There are however some people who are not acting ‘fake’ on Sundays in church.
    Some people will even go to vigil from the club. That’s just it.
    Anyways, I really enjoy your write ups. Keep it up

    Reply

  9. steve itelima
    Jul 27, 2014 @ 05:32:26

    I couldn’t agree more on this. But can you truly use a single experience in a bus with a person to judge? You pointed out salient points for we guys to keep in mind tho. Thanks

    Reply

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