Survey: 50 Ladies Build Their Men With $5 (See Results)

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The question that has troubled the gods, perplexed scientists, baffled men and flabbergasted women is “what do women want from men?”. To try and find out, I gave 50 ladies, $5 each to build their dream “man” given the following qualities with their respective price tags;

Handsome ($3)
Well dressed ($2)
Funny ($1)
Smart ($1)
Great sex ($2)
Faithful ($2)
Wealthy ($3)
Tall ($1)
Great body ($2)
Romantic ($2)

I’m sure, if given the chance, these ladies would buy all these qualities for their men but the catch was the fact that they had limited funds (just $5). After a few brain cracking money economizing maneuvers, they spent their $5 to their taste and below are the listed qualities in an order of most votes to least votes.

Faithful (30)
Smart (27)
Great sex (22)
Wealthy (18)
Funny (9)
Romantic (8)
Tall (8)
Well dressed (3)
Great body (1)
Handsome (1)

From single votes to permutations, let’s take a look at the top 10 double combination qualities that most women are looking for in their man.

1. Faithful and Smart (22)
2. Great sex and Smart (12)
3. Faithful and Funny (10)
4. Funny and Smart (10)
5. Faithful and Romantic (10)
6. Smart and Tall (8)
7. Faithful and Tall (7)
8. Faithful and Wealthy (7)
9. Great sex and Wealthy (6)
10. Wealthy and Romantic (4)

Observations from the results:
1. Faithfulness amassed the most votes with 30 which goes to show the importance women pay to their men keeping their manhood at home. Women love a man that can say “you are my one and only” and mean it. Faithfulness means the World to them.

2. Smart got a total of 27 votes from the 50 votes cast. Goes to show that women can’t stand a dull man. You gotta be smart enough to handle your biz, knowing what to do, when to do it and how to do it.

3. Shockingly, great sex got the third highest votes. Its shocking because women are known to be more passive than men when it comes to sex. This claim that “only men like sex” is a mirage. The votes clearly show that women love a man that can handle himself well between the sheets. *wink*

4. Another shocking observation is the fact that wealth garnered fewer votes than great sex. Goes against the popular belief that women like money and men like sex. More women would marry a financially stable genius in bed than a sex novice billionaire. Wow. Women are weird. Jeeeez. Lol

5. Looks are deceiving and this goes to the prove the point I have always know about women; its not about your looks. The looks department (well dressed, handsome, great body and tall) failed miserably with handsome and great body getting just one vote, well dressed managing three votes and tall ended the misery with just eight votes. No wonder ugly men marry beautiful women. Lol

6. I always had the opinion that girls love laughing and would kill for a funny man. I was also of the opinion that romantic men would out-pace a great-in-bed guy in a race to a woman’s heart. I was wrong on all two fronts. Not only did Romantic. get a meager 8 votes compared to Great Sex’s 22. Funny collected only 10 votes. Girls are not smiling anymore. Literally.

7. Talking about combinations, faithful and smart amassed the most combined votes with 22. When I asked some ladies why they chose “smart” over “wealth”, they chorused the same answer “because a smart man can’t be broke”.

8. To my utmost surprise, combinations with the lowest votes involved those including wealth. Great sex and wealthy combined got 8 votes while and romantic and wealthy combined got just 7 votes. Goes to prove a point, you don’t have to be swimming in big bucks to win a woman’s heart (although it helps..lol). Just have enough, do enough and you will be enough for her (see rhymes..lol).

 

End of part 1, expect part 2 titled “Survey: 50 Guys Build Their Women With $5” and you will be shocked what 50 men wanted in their women. Be expectant. Till next time, I am your host “Kurtis Smith (Mr. Trouble Maker). Stay blessed.

Getting A Girl 301: 3 Things You Need

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Getting a girl(s) have absolutely nothing to do with handsomeness or height or money. Not that all the aforemnetioned don’t help but everything needed to get a girl lies within not on the outside. To ut this in context, I was voted finest boy in class twice between JSS1 and SS2. I was always the tallest in all my classes considering that I am presently 6ft 4in. I had small money enough to buy things for girls. So I had the face, I had the height and I had the money but I lacked one thing that kept me single till my SS3. I lacked the confidence with girls. I was a shy funny fool who had to cram words to tell a girl I once liked in my SS1. Fast forward almost 15 years and I am a chick magnet (beef if you want to but that’s the truth). How do I get chicks. 3 things are required of you.

1. Humour: Everyone likes to be happy, so having someone that makes you smile, laugh and forget your worries is a gem to have. I dare to say that if 100 women are asked what they would like in their spouses, “make me laugh” would be among the top 3 requirements. Learn how to make a girl laugh and you will win her heart in no time.

2. Confidence: Shy and timid guys always carry last, it’s the World we live in. Confident and bold guys always get the chicks. Have you ever wondered why the handsome shy guys remain single while the ugly confident ones get all the girls including the fine ones. Even if you want to say something absurd to a lady, be confident about it and you might get away with it.

3. Brashness*: The truth is “yes” guys never get the ladies. Yes guys are the type that always respond yes to a girls request. Can I get some money? YES. Can I use your car? YES. Can I slap you? YES. Dull guys think by agreeing with a girl’s requests, means she’s gonna love you. women don’t work that way. Ladies like a man that can treat their fuckup when they fuckup. They like a man that can put them in line. They like a man that can tell them what to do. Not a man that has no balls to challenge them. Not a man they can ride on.

* For lack of a better word

 
Read Further:
Getting A Girl 101: The Approach
Getting A Girl 201: The Toasting Lines

The Real Tragedy About Marriage

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The real tragedy about marriage is that women always think men will change but they don’t men think women won’t change but they do. #ThinkAboutIt

Esther is in a serious relationship with Victor the serial cheat. Victor according to her is a man that finds it difficult to keep his trousers zipped whenever there is a hot blooded female in sight. She has cried, begged, yelled, shouted and even prayed, all to no avail. Against the advice of friends and family, she ended up tying the knot with him in a talk-of-the-town wedding but months down the line, Victor hasn’t changed as she wished.
Guess she never heard the saying; women always think men will change but they don’t men think women won’t change but they do.

Bode recently proposed to Kate, the love of his life. According to him, Kate’s homeliness, motherliness, caring attitude and tenderness were the major reasons he decided to settle down with her. Fast forward six months into the marriage and Kate’s true colors have emerged. She is no longer the homely, motherly and tender lady he married, she has become feisty and quarrelsome. All of a sudden, it dawned on Bode that Kate was putting up a front all along. Guess he never heard the saying; women always think men will change but they don’t men think women won’t change but they do.

“What happened to your face?” Bukky asked her bestie Joan. “It’s him again” she replied. The regularity of Michael’s assault on his wife bothered Bukky but what bothered her more was the timing of the assault by her husband because Joan was 6 months pregnant with her first child. With tears in her eyes, Joan replied “I thought he will change”. Guess she never heard the saying; women always think men will change but they don’t men think women won’t change but they do.

Ngozi got married to her heartthrob Chijioke a little over 10 years ago. Ngozi was in her twenties and fresh out of school when she got married. A 6ft tall, light skinned, full chested lady with the hips of a goddess. Every man wanted a piece of Ngozi but Chijioke’s charm, intellect and gentility made sure he not only got a piece of her, he had the whole damn cake to himself. After four adorable kids, Ngozi’s once mermaid-like body has taken a pounding. Chijioke couldn’t understand why his wife’s once smooth skin is riddled with stretch marks and her once flat tummy is big and plumpy. He takes it out on her often branding her lazy concerning her looks and wishes she put in more effort to look as flawless as she once was.
Guess he never heard the saying; women always think men will change but they don’t men think women won’t change but they do.

Ladies, you are not capable of changing any man, only God can undertake and successfully complete that task.
Men, hoping your woman never changes is like hoping you live forever.
But what ever you do, always remember the real tragedy about marriage:

Women always think men will change but they don’t.
Men think women won’t change but they do.

Is Missionary The Only Holy Sexual Position As a Pastor Said?

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During the course of the week, a video by a UK based Pastor Olugbenga Oladejo went viral where he spoke of his revelation from God about “sexual sins” committed by married couples. In his words, the Lord said amongst other things that “God’s children are confused, so they must be warned about these sins that are taking them to hell, so they will not perish. He visually showed me these people’s sins on the “judgment screen” and audibly warned against married couples masturbating on their beds, looking at pornography, oral sex, trying different styles of sexual intercourse to “spice it up,” such as “doggie style” penetration from behind, and various positions, including the wife on top (e.g., so-called “rocking horse,” “cowboy,” or “cowgirl” positions), and hanging your wife (a type of domination and bondage position, involving tying her down, intended to simulate rape). The only position that is holy in God’s sight is the face-to-face position with the husband on top.”
In a bid to explain his point, he went further “The Word teaches us that the husband is the head of the wife. ‘For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.’ (Eph 5:23; cf. 1 Cor 11:3). He is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, not lust after her. He is supposed to take the lead in the relationship, including on the marital bed. His wife is not supposed to be the aggressor or the one taking the lead. She is the responder to his love.
He was not finished, according to him, God had something to say about oral sex, he continued “The Lord told me to say, ‘Men are my image and men are my glory! Men are the glory of God. And every time God is looking at you, He wants you to continue to promote more of His glory. If you now change the glory of God into something that is corruptible, into lust, into immorality, the Lord said you will not make it into heaven.” The Lord said, “If you are doing oral sex, you are not coming to heaven.” And the same goes for other immoral acts you do on your bed. Do not do these things. It is evil before the Lord.

To summarize his “sexual revelation” from God, he said according to God;
1. Missionary (man on-top) is the only holy sexual position because a man is the head of the wife and supposed to take the lead in the relationship even on the marital bed. Therefore any sexual position that makes a woman take the lead or dictate the pace is unholy.
2. Doggy-style and other sexual positions that mimic animals are unholy and should not be practiced by married couples.
3. Any married couple that practices oral sex are bound for hell fire.

These are my objections to his revelations:
1. The “A man is the head of a woman” message is often used by people to make a woman look like a sheep being led by a shepherd without a voice or a choice of her own. Firstly, if he uses the man is the head of a woman to insinuate that the man takes the lead in everything at home and therefore should take the lead during sex then he is also trying to say that the man should take the lead in the kitchen, take the lead in giving birth, take the lead in breastfeeding the children etc. It’s obvious that societal and difference in genetic makeup has made some responsibilities like childbirth, breastfeeding, cooking to be associated with the woman while other responsibilities like bread winning, security etc to be associated with the man. The woman takes the lead in her own role while the man takes the lead in his. Now to sex, whose responsibility is it to take the lead? The man or the woman? Depends on the couple. So this gibberish about a man taking the lead during sex is nonsensical.

2. When a woman is pregnant, missionary position is not practical because it endangers the baby and the woman, therefore other alternative positions like the spooning position where both lie side by side with the man behind the woman facing away from the protruding stomach is often advised. Is he trying to tell us that since missionary is the only holy sexual position and it can’t be used during late pregnancy, that God doesn’t want a married couple to have sex during pregnancy? Very questionable.

3. Watching pornography in marriage is wrong basically because the people you are watching having sex are committing sin. These porn stars are mostly singles committing fornication or married folks committing adultery with single folks. Bottom line, watching pornography is wrong except you are watching a sex video of you and your married partner.

4. Oral sex is not bad or evil. I repeat oral sex is not bad or evil. In his revelation, he said God took him to hell and showed him a special place in hell where people that had oral sex in marriage were burning. Seriously? So there is also a special place in hell for armed robbers, prostitutes, rapists or the likes of Hitler, Osama Bin Laden and co. Ludicrous. If you love going down on your wife/husband, please be my guest.

5. He was also of the opinion that sex between a married couple should only be conducted within the confines of their marital bed. What happened to the sitting room couch, or in the bathroom, or in the kitchen, or in the car or in the garden. It’s either this “Pastor” is an archaic man with a substandard imagination or he got his revelation from a god not God.

6. On the issue of masturbation in marriage and this is my opinion, you can disagree if you wish. Masturbation on its own is a wrong when done by an unmarried person and when done without the knowledge of your partner in marriage. If a married couple (or far from each other using skype or phone) decide to masturbate individually together, there is nothing wrong with that. Quote me anywhere.

7. Doggy-style was initially copied from dogs hence the name doggy-style but come to think of it, many animals have sex from the back including the horse, elephants, lions, tigers etc. So are these animals also sinning because they “copied” the rear entry style popularly called the doggy-style? What if this style being used by other animals is the original sex position not the missionary as lazy minded or lazy women (“the lie down and get it over it” kind of women) think.

8. Woman on top position which he also criticized as being one of the causes of penile fracture (when the penis literally fractures or bends uncomfortably during sex) is often used when the man is tired of thrusting or when the woman wants to take the initiative and rock her man to orgasm. So when the man is tired, sex is over? Laughable.

I can go on and on but I bet my position on this matter is as clear as daylight. I don’t doubt Pastor Olugbenga Oladejo’s spiritual calling but I doubt this his so called revelation from God. If he and his wife practice only missionary style during sex doesn’t give him the right/audacity to dictate to other married couples on how to make love. Using God is often a ploy by misguided “Pastors” to exploit the spiritual minded and make them belief anything. Don’t be confused, the God I know and worship is after your heart not the sex position you and your partner are using during sex. Be guided.

 

To watch full video on the Pastor’s sexual position revelation, click HERE

To read a transcript of the video, click HERE

The “Chop and Clean Mouth” Mentality of Nigerian Girls

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So I was bamboozling my way through the highly addictive and informative gossip blog owned by Nigeria’s number one blogger Linda Ikeji when I came across a news report of note.The story therein centers around a man and a young lady. Apparently, this man met a young lady at the VIP section of a club, he allegedly spent N17,000 on assorted drinks in a bid to impress her. After all the merryment and jollification in the club, they proceeded to a hotel. He already tasting victory (if sleeping with a girl could be called that). His testosterone levels were spiking out of control. He was already imagining things (unprintable things) he was going to do to a girl he barely knew (men for you). With such illicit thoughts going through his mind, he payed the N22,000 fee for the hotel room. According to a friend of this guy, after making so much investment on this young lady, he was expecting a return on his investment. He then proceeded to what he hoped would be a night of blissful romance only for the young lady to rebuff his advances by telling him not to touch her.
Trying to read the guy’s mind, he must have been thinking “when I was buying N17,000 drinks, I could touch you…when I was paying N22,000 for this hotel room, I could touch you, but now I want to finally touch you in the right places, I can’t touch you?” An argument ensued between both waring parties and the girl allegedly insulted him for lacking manners with his desires to sleep with her and also insulted his mother. Enraged, he punched her out of vexation. What happened afterwards wasn’t documented but the next day according to the news source, the lady traced him to his office and got him arrested. He was later released after a few of his colleagues rallied round to secure his release but was subsequently suspended by his company.
My question is not if he was right to punch a lady because my stand on violence against women has not and will never change. Men that hit women or force them to have sex with them are cowards and should be treated as such. My question (group of questions) is (are); does he have a right to be expectant after spending so much on her?
It’s no secret that Nigerian girls either like to eat their cakes and have it or are ignorantly naive or just want to play dumb. A fully blooded, sense having girl who knows that men are sexual beings, that most men especially Nigerian men think with their third leg not their brains. They go out with such men, give him all the green light possible, spends his money with him with some escorting him to the ATM to withdraw some more money. Arouse him with sexual dance moves, blindly follow him to a hotel room or his house and when he desires a return on his investment, you play deaf and dumb, or “I am on my period” or the most annoying line “I am not in the mood”.
Do girls take men to be fools? Do girls assume Father Christmas really exists? Do girls think men don’t know how to spend their money? Back to the earlier story, she condemned him by claiming he lacks manners for his desire to sleep with her, but would a well mannered girl follow a man she doesn’t intend sleeping with to a hotel room or even follow a man she just met to a hotel room?
Ladies, please give yourselves brain. If you can’t stand the heat, leave the kitchen. If you don’t want a man to “think” he deserves something from you, then don’t accept favors or money from him (for your information, as long as a man invests in you, he will demand for sex, it’s only a matter of time). Following a man who you know is making advances at you to his house or a hotel is like an antelope escorting a lion to his crib only to be surprised when the lion starts tearing it apart. Ladies, be smart, but don’t be too smart. You want to eat his money and run. Remember, everyday is for the thief but one day for the owner.
No man not even your father spends on you without expecting something in return. Your father’s expectations are that you lack nothing, that you are happy, that you turn out successful. You then expect another man to spend on you and not expect anything because you are Mother Theresa? Ladies, please give yourselves brain.

#TheEnd

7 Reasons Men Ask For Sex More Than Women

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The biggest sexual misconception is that men enjoy sex more than women. This notion has always been propagated by people that link frequency with level of enjoyment. So because men tend to demand for sex more than women, means they enjoy it more. Women enjoy sex more than women but men want it more than women. I’ll explain at a later time but for the purpose of this piece, I’ll try and explain why guys demand for sex more than women.
If you don’t agree, please as always, educate me. *wink*

1. It feels good: Simply put, guys like sex because they enjoy it. Human beings and even animals enjoy sex that’s the main reason God gave us sexual organs. Now that’s out of the way, let’s get to the REAL reasons men demand for sex. Wear your seat belts by the way, its gonna get friskier at this point.

2. Makes them feel in charge: Men are egotistic beings. Most men walk around with bloated egos while some with deflated egos. But be rest assured that all men have an ego and sexual intercourse either builds or crashes that ego. This is how sex works for men. A single man sees a girl he likes, he approaches her and they begin a friendship (he’s in charge at this juncture). This friendship develops into a relationship (he still feels in charge). He initiates sexual intercourse with sweet words/lyrics, touches, kisses and she obliges him (he now feels totally in charge). During sex, he dictates sexual positions, makes her moan, makes her orgasm (he’s ultimately in charge). She has evolved from a total stranger to his babe/girlfriend/sex mate/fiancee/wife. This evolution builds his ego, self esteem and fills his “I am in charge” battery.

3. Makes them feel accomplished: It’s no secret that men are very project driven. Whereas women are wonderful multi taskers, men are not that great at multi-tasking. This single focus would make a man go after something till he gets it. If it doesn’t, he either moves on determined to get another or quits.
Sex to a woman is a journey while sex to a man is a destination. When a man toasts a girl with the mindset of bedding her, the perverse project has commenced. When he finally sleeps with her either after days/months/years, his perverse project has been accomplished. Ladies wonder why some men walk away after sleeping with them. His project is complete that’s why. As a crazy friend put it humorously, “does the President keep campaigning after he has won the election?”

4. Mental/visual stimulation: Women are stimulated by words while men are stimulated by sight. Whereas women are stimulated by being touched, men are stimulated by the mere thought of touching a woman. This difference in stimulation technique is one of the reasons why men are sexually stimulated faster than women. It takes a man the sight of a woman to get sexually aroused while it takes a woman something more to achieve sexual arousal. This inbalance makes men faster and more preoccupied with sexual thoughts than women and this preoccupation will almost lead to a higher sexual drive.

5. Higher sex drive: Talking about sex drive, men have a stronger sex drive than women. Study after study shows that men’s sex drives are not only stronger than women’s, but much more straightforward. It’s common wisdom that women place more value on emotional connection as a spark of sexual desire whereas men don’t really care. According to Edward O. Laumann, PhD, a Professor of Sociology at the University of Chicago, a majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day while only about one-quarter of women say the think about it that frequently. Another study conducted by Roy Baumesiter, a Social Psychologist at Florida State University, found that men reported more spontaneous sexual arousal and had more frequent and varied fantasies. In lay man’s terms, most men have higher sex drives than most women (the key word is most not all).

6. Always in the mood: Men seem to be always in the mood for sex compared to women. Women need everything to be right to have sex while men don’t really don’t care. Things that influence a woman’s readiness for sex include her monthly cycle, her mood, issues at home or in school etc. On a man’s part, nothing stops him from having sex. A man is good to go, whether in the mood or not.

7. Uncontentment: I was discussing with a friend who told me the story of her boss at work who has been asking her and her female colleagues out. In her own words “he’s married to a beautiful sweet looking lady, what is he looking for in other women?”. My reply was that natural men are never content with one partner, natural men are never satisfied with one sexual partner. Only a very spiritual man and a strong willed man can overcome this temptation.

BONUS POINT—->
Societal advantage: We live in society where boys are allowed to stay late nights while girls are given a curfew, not allowed to keep male friends and even locked up at home by their parents. We live in a society that stylishly celebrates a promiscuous man as a player and bashes a promiscuous lady with the “she’s loose”, “she’s lacking in morals” tag. We live in a society where a woman looses face when she demands for sex. We live in a society where a man can say he wants sex but a woman has to hide her quest for sex. This advantage on a man’s part makes them more vocal and readily ask for sex without being frowned upon.

 

Reference:
Sex Drive: How Do Men and Women Compare? by Richard Sine for http://www.WebMD.com

7 Reasons Women Moan During Sex

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The ultimate sex question is why women moan so much during sex? It’s a question that had puzzled men and even women. Why the grunts, the oooooo yes, the ooooooos, the aaahhhhhs. Men could be vocal during sex but women are usually known to be more vocal during sex. The question is, why? Why are women so vocal during sex? This piece is my conclusion, If you don’t agree, then you can educate me. *wink*

1. It feels good: Sex is one of the most amazing physical adventures anyone could venture into. Not only does sex build intimacy, it has mental, physical, emotional and even psychological benefits attached to it.
Women moan firstly during sex because in simple terms “it feels good”. If you are asking why men who also enjoy sex don’t moan as loud then I’ll ask you a simple question. Do men feel pain? Of course they do but why don’t they cry as much as women? Women are expressive in nature, they feel pain, they cry. They enjoy sex, they moan. Simple as ABC.

2. Feels painful: As pointed out earlier, women moan when sex is enjoyable but also when its painful. As a sex educator, I have spoken to a few ladies on the subject of their sexual moans and I discovered that strangely, women enjoy sex that has a little pain sprinkled on it. Strange but true. Women also moan when the sex is painful. Maybe that’s their way of tricking their brain cells into converting the pain they feel into pleasure. This remains a mystery to me but ladies know what I’m talking about.

3. Pretense: Every woman understands how men could be so demanding when it comes to sex. No woman would admit demanding for sex more than her spouse (we all know that’s not true). In response to a man’s constant demand for sex, many women moan in a bid to get it over with. Their thoughts could be, “if I pretend to enjoy it, then maybe, he’ll cum faster and let me be”. There is no sexually active woman alive who would admit under oath never to have pretentiously moaned during sex before. None.

4. To speed up her partner’s climax: The smart question to ask at this juncture is “do men really care if their women moan during sex?” and “what are the benefits of a woman’s moan to a man during sex?”. If as a lady reading this (ask your man or ask any sexually active man), you will find out that a woman’s moans during sex excites a man. Apart from the sexual gratification enjoyed by the sexual act itself, a woman’s moan adds to a man’s sense of achievement. The high level of brain activity as a result of increased pleasure would naturally lead to a quicker orgasm on the man’s part.

5. To boost his self esteem: It’s no secret that men love sex and unsurprisingly, there is a link between a man’s self esteem (ego) to his performance in bed. A man that believes in his sexual prowess would naturally feel good, confident and in command when with women. Smart women know this and make her man feel good with her moans during sex. When a woman enjoys sex with a man, her moans get louder which is seen as a sign of approval by her man.

6. To tell her partner what she wants: Let’s use this simple illustration to understand this point. If a woman moans 15 decibels (a decibel simply put is the degree of loudness) when her man is on top of her but moans 30 decibels when she’s on top. What does that mean? You guessed right. She enjoys being untop more than being under.
She used her moans to tell her partner what she wanted. Its simple.

7. Turns them on: According to sex educator and author Patt Brisben “There are many women who need to be vocal to help themselves achieve orgasm — it helps move them and their orgasm along”. A woman’s moans not only helps a man achieve orgasm but also helps her achieve hers. Sex is more mental than we think.

 

NOTE: For every moaner, there is a dead rubber (the type of woman that just lies there like someone died). If you want to fascinate your husband, be vocal during sex. Men, please return the favour, there is no shame in moaning (manly grunts).

Let’s make some noise. *wink*

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