15 Things A Lady Should Know About Her Vagina

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1. I once asked a girl how many holes she had and she said just one. She had the notion that urine comes out from the vagina and she couldn’t be more wrong. While a man has only one hole (two if the anus is included) that functions as the urine and sperm channel, women are wired differently. From front to back, the urethra opening is the first hole, the vagina is the second, and the anus is the third. Don’t laugh! You’d be amazed how many people don’t know this.

2. I have heard rumors of ladies being afraid or should I call it too shy to reach into their vagina and pull out maybe a pulled condom. The vagina doesn’t connect to the lung. Anything that doesn’t have the swimming abilities of the sperm will remain stuck in the vagina so the sooner you reach deep down and pick it out, the better.

3. The woman’s anatomy is blessed or cursed (according to some women) with the hymen. The presence of the hymen is often used to determine if a woman is a virgin. The lose of a hymen is not always due to sexual intercourse but in most cases it is. Contrary to popular mythology, there’s no such thing as being revirginized. Once you lose it, it’s gone. Just so you know.

4. Every vulva is different and special. Some lips hang down. Some are tucked up neatly inside. Some are long. Some are short. Some are even. Some aren’t. All are beautiful. You’re perfect just the way you are. *wink*

5. The vagina is a carefully balanced ecosystem of fluid (discharge) and bacteria meant to keep the vaginal PH at a healthy 4.5. This combination of fluid and bacteria that make up the vaginal discharge that can, at times, emit certain odors. Most of these odors are natural and normal, but there are times when excess odor can signal a problem. The vagina is not supposed to smell like rose petals or strawberry or a bathroom spray or even a garden. It is a pussy, let it smell like a pussy. The vagina doesn’t need to be douched. Wash it with clean water (no soap) as often as possible and change undies on a daily basis and you should be fine. Remember, the vagina doesn’t need to be douched.

6. How much vaginal discharge you make varies widely. Some normal, healthy women spew loads of discharge and need to wear panty liners every day. Others are bone dry. As long as you are not at risk of STD’s and you have no itching, burning, or odor, you’re probably just fine. If in doubt, see your gynecologist.

7. To the ladies, have you ever wondered why sex hurts after you haven’t had it for a while? The vaginal opening is like a bicep. Use it or lose it. The more sex it has, the freerer and more relaxed they are. If you don’t have a partner or your partner is away on a business trip, keep them exercised and I am not in away advocating for a promiscuous lifestyle. Prayer cannot help in this aspect, pick up a battery-operated boyfriend to help keep things healthy as you age. If properly tended, your vagina will be able to pleasure you until the day you leave this life.

8. Vagina stretches out when you have babies naturally. It’s natural but it can leave you feeling open down there. Kegel exercises that contract the muscles of the vagina really do help. To do them, practice stopping the stream of urine when you pee. There–that’s the muscle! Now contract and relax it for three or more sets several times per day.

9. During sexual intercourse, the condom is often used as a means of preventing sexually transmitted diseases and it works mainly because it protects the penis from the inside of the vagina but what people have failed to realize is that if the sensitive skin of the vulva touches the skin of the scrotum, infections like warts, herpes, molluscum contagiosum and pubic lice could be transmitted easily. So pick your partners carefully.

10. Some women do ejaculate during orgasm, but you’re normal if you don’t. The controversial “female ejaculation” most likely represents two different phenomena. If it’s a small amount of milky fluid, it likely comes from the paraurethral glands inside the urethra. If it’s a cup, it’s probably pee. Many times, it may be a little bit of both. But don’t stress out about peeing on yourself. Put a towel under you and surrender to the experience. *seriously*

11. Most women don’t have orgasms from intercourse alone. The clitoris is where the action is. Most women who do orgasm during sex have figured out how to hit their sweet spot, either from positioning or from direct stimulation of the clitoris with fingers.

12. An innocently ignorant lady once asked me if she had problems because her pussy makes some weird sounds during sex. I am confident many ladies find this embarrassing but vaginal farts as they are called happen to almost all women at one time or another, especially during sex or other forms of exercise. Don’t be embarrassed. You’re perfectly normal.

13. The vagina is blessed with the “secret well of wetness” which flows when a woman is sexually aroused and during sex. But, most times, the vagina will need artificial lubricating either because it is not well lubricated naturally or because of age. Don’t be afraid to slick on some lubricant like K-Y Jelly or Astroglide. Or try coconut oil, which is a great natural lubricant.

14. The vagina’s ability in its supposedly small state to stretch wide enough to eject a baby is one of the wonders of life. Then, someone has the effrontery to tell me that the same organ that can stretch wide enough to eject a baby cannot stretch to receive a penis comfortably? Sex shouldn’t hurt, but it does for many women and this could be as a result of many things including; lack of sex, long time of abstinence, size of penis or other medical reasons and in this case seeing your doctor is advised. So many women are too embarrassed to say anything, so they suffer in silence.

15. Safe sex (or even just orgasm alone) is good for you. Benefits include lowering your risk of heart disease and stroke, reducing your risk of breast cancer, bolstering your immune system, helping you sleep, making you appear more youthful, improving your fitness, regulating menstrual cycles, relieving menstrual cramps, helping with chronic pain, reducing the risk of depression, lowering stress levels, and improving self esteem.

Further Reading: Understanding Her Private Part

 

References:
Why Does My Vagina Smell? by Heather Rupe, DO
20 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Vagina by Lissa Rankin, MD

 

For relationship or sexual advice, contact Kurtis Smith on BBM via –> Pin: 33322C83

When Driving Is A Total Waste of Time

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Ever since I could remember my name, I have always despised driving. I find it boring, annoying and even time consuming especially when you live in an over crowded city like Lagos. I never had the interest and only learnt how to drive because I believe driving is one of the fundamental survival skills (Read: Two Things That could Save Your Life ), girls dig guys that drive cars and of course, not to be left behind.
Why would I drive when I could delegate someone called a driver to do that for me? Why waste long hours in Lagos traffic when I could utilize those precious unrecoverable minutes to do something more productive?
The quest for a driver had been left on the back burner because not only can I not afford a driver now, I don’t consider it necessary at this stage of my career.

Then came the article that awoke my quest for a driver written by Okechukwu Ofili titled “What is the value of 1 hour of your time?”. Below are paraphrased excepts from the article

“…this friend lives on the mainland and works on the Island so everyday he has to pull himself out of bed at 4:30 am shower, dress up and then get in his car at about 5:30 am only to sit in traffic for another 2 hours before he gets to his work at about 7:30 am. The irony is the fact that he is very well paid and paying a driver at about N30,000 to N50,000 per month would not even bother his account balance in the slightest term. With a driver all my friend needs to do is jump into an already washed AC pumping car and get chauffeured to and from work. He could choose to sleep during this time, make work calls, watch movies on his tab, complete office work, play snake and ladder, read a newspaper, research on the internet, sleep some more ….he can do whatever he wants. His stress level will reduce because he no longer has to worry about blaring his horn at slow moving cars, his driver can do that work for him.

But here’s what my friend said when I offered my suggestion. And his response is key because this is the mentality a lot of people have. I call it the scarcity mentality. My friend said and I quote
“I can’t afford to pay a driver 30,000 Naira to drop me off at work and bring me back, what will he be doing in between?” Let’s forget the fact that “in between” your driver, can help you pick up food, run errands, get your kids, buy diesel for generator, queue up for you in fuel scarcity, cash a check for you, deliver and pick up your dry cleaned clothes etc”. Why do we continually decide to stress ourselves?

Okay, let’s assume you spend 4 hours a day….5 working days a week (I have not even included weekends). That is 20 hours a week stuck in traffic (remember a day constituents 24 hours). In a month, you are spending about 80 hours (a little over 3 days worth of time) in traffic. Imagine what you could achieve by paying a very experienced driver N40,000 a month. That amounts to N500 for an hour of your life back (N40,000 divided by 80 hours).
Is your time not worth more than N500/hour?

Like my father would say when asked why he doesn’t have a driver “what if the driver runs away with my car”. Seriously dad (and his think-mates)?. What happened to background checks? What happened to finding out where the driver resides? Where his family stays, where he comes from if push comes to shove?

Let’s quit seeing money from a simplistic point of view. Remember money can be spent and recovered but time once gone CAN NEVER be recovered.

If your driving skills doesn’t fetch you money like those Formula One drivers, please delegate driving to someone whose job it is to drive and use yours more effectively to close business deals, finish up past due tasks, rest and basically be less stressed.

 

Adapted from “What is the value of 1 hour of your time? by Okechukwu Ofili via: http://ofilispeaks.com/what-is-the-value-of-1-hour-of-your-time

The Journey Called Life

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Over time I’ve discovered that, there is no absolute finish line for everyone in the race of life. Our tracks are different and our durations are different. The only thing we have in common is the same play-ground. For instance, one person graduates at age 20 and struggles for another 5 years to get a job, another might graduate at 25 and get a job immediately.
One can marry a virgin and wait for the next decade to have the blessing of a child, another lady probably after having series of abortions in her past, becomes a mother almost immediately after marriage.
A fellow becomes MD at 38 and dies at 56, another becomes MD at55 and lives to 90.
What a life! Life is full of twists, turns, ups and downs and many more surprises and disappointments. Life offers each and everyone of us different opportunities, and once an opportunity is lost, it’s gone forever except by the grace of God. It is up to each one of us to patiently prepare, wait, recognise and utilize every opportunities that come our way. We learn on the way. No one has it all or knows it all.
There is a reason why we all don’t fall at the same time, it’s so that when one is down, weak and discouraged, the other who is strong can encourage and lift the other person. God never promises that the road would be easy, but he promised never to leave or forsake us. Although life is complicated, let us learn to go easy on ourselves and trust that God is working it all out for our good. Whatever trials, challenges or down times we face, all shall pass, and in due course, we will be up and strong again to lift up those who may be down around us.

NEVER LOOSE HOPE.

Pass this on to your friends to encourage them in their journey called LIFE!
Culled from Social Media, author is unknown.

#DearFutureWife: 20 Rules For My Future Wife

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1. #DearFutureWife, wearing a waist chain is very compulsory. No excuses

2. #DearFutureWife, I know the difference between poundo yam and pounded yam so don’t even try fooling me.

3. #DearFutureWife, your younger sister or female friend can’t stay with us. The devil also works in mysterious ways!

4. #DearFutureWife, I have a calendar to monitor your menstrual flow so don’t even use period as a means to escape sex. Don try it.

5. #DearFutureWife, wrapper is banned in my house. Dress like a chic not an old woman biko.

6. #DearFutureWife, using our real names are banned in the house. Never refer to me as Kurtis, my name is sugar banana. U hear!

7. #DearFutureWife, any panties that covers ur ass chicks especially grand ma panties are not allowed in my house. G-strings or thongs or no panties. Simple.

8. #DearFutureWife, I’ll spoil you. I’ll spend on you. I’ll make you look beautiful. But on one condition, u work 4ur money but I’ll spend mine on u.

9. #DearFutureWife, we are wealthy doesn’t mean we spend anyhow. At the end of the month, we must balance the books.

10. #DearFutureWife, don’t use work as an excuse not to feed me. No “babe, ur food is in the microwave” talk. Its unacceptable.

11. #DearFutureWife, sex in the room is restricted to only once a week. Other days kitchen, car, parlor, bathroom n even generator house will suffice.

12. #DearFutureWife, I am mandated by section 3, subsection 2 of the love constitution to open doors for u. If I don’t, don’t get out of the car.

13. #DearFutureWife, let’s make sure we never sleep over a fight/disagreement. No settling, no sleeping.

14. #DearFutureWife, if u don’t have a car, I’m not permitted to have one. U can’t be entering taxi while I drive freely. The devil is a liar!

15. #DearFutureWife, hug another man only if your boobs are in your hand bag.

16. #DearFutureWife, don’t worry about my mother, you are my first and most important relationship.

17. #DearFutureWife, there must be a mutual respect btw u and my mum. I came out of her, our kids will come out of u. Love each other by force by fire.

18. #DearFutureWife, shaving is not a luxury but a necessity. It must be a smooth as a table if u want me to eat it. I’ll sure u get. Better pikin.

19. #DearFutureWife, what God can’t do through me should remain undone. Asking another man for money even ur father is an abomination.

20. #DearFutureWife, if your family is bold enough to ask for three sheets of paper full of bride price. They shuld prepare for 10 years of no chop money from me.

 

note Forgive the typos/shortened words, these rules were supposed to be for my BBM contacts but I was almost arm twisted into putting them on the blog. I hope you enjoyed it and I also promise to OBEY all 20 rules. Cross my heart.

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10 Things I Dislike About African Weddings

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1. The wrong focus: African weddings from the onset have the wrong focus. Nobody thinks about the marriage, what everyone has in mind is the festivities of the wedding day. As soon as the couple announce their intentions to get married; the date of the wedding, the venue, the guest list, the event planners, the decorations, food menu, MC, DJ, asoebi are higher on the priority list than the amount of money on the couple’s account to start a family, where the couple wound reside, the input of the parents and family on the wedding. The focus is always primarily on the wedding not the marriage.

2. Too expensive: African weddings and their expensive nature is simply ridiculous. An average Western wedding consists of maybe 20 or 30 close friends and family members in a small hall where light food is eaten.
An average African wedding on the other hand is like a Nollywood movie with Part 1, 2 and even 3. The proceedings start from the introduction which involves over 30 family members and a few friends. Money is spent on entertaining the guests. Then the traditional wedding is planned, over 100 family members and friends are invited to the wedding that takes place at the bride’s hometown. Money is spent on transportation to the venue of the wedding, acquiring the wedding attires and on entertaining the guests. Then finally, the white wedding (a wedding initiated by the Western World and Africans are killing themselves untop). The white wedding involves in most cases over 200 guests and gulps a monumental percentage of the wedding allocation. Why all the expenses? Why can’t African’s have just one wedding? Question for the gods.

3. It’s a parent’s thing: There is a popular saying in a Africa that “when a couple gets married, the family gets married with them”. In Western culture, a couple’s family have little or no input on the wedding. In Africa, over 50 percent of the wedding plans are constituted by the parents. As a matter of fact, guests invited by the parents sometimes outnumber guests invited by the couple. Na your wedding? Shou!

4. Wasted food: Its no secret that item 7 is the reason many people attend weddings. Food is good but wasted food isn’t. I remember attending a friend’s wedding and the amount of food that was wasted could feed a village. People are offered plates packed with the usual rice, salad, moi moi and meat. Most people pick at the food like a bomb was hidden in it. After eating one or two spoons, descend on the meat/chicken leaving the almost full plate of rice to waste. My wedding will be buffet styled serve-yourself kinda wedding. Take only what you can finish. Waste food and forfeit your wedding souvenir. No joke. My God hates waste.

5. Unfamiliar faces: One of the beauties of celebrity wedding is the much envied “Invitation List”. Celebrities are of the opinion (right opinion in my books) that if list of guests are not confined to a specific number, the wedding will turn into a free for all affair. Most weddings are the wear-fine-dress-enter-and-eat kinda weddings. As long as you are dressed for the occasion, you can enter a wedding without even knowing who is getting married, take pictures, eat free food, take souvenir and leave without anyone questioning you.

6. For show : African weddings are a show of popularity, wealth and affluence. The big men and women want to sit on the high table, the rich folks wait till the couple are dancing to show their wealth by either spraying fresh mints of large bills or spraying foreign currency, big men come with their most expensive rides, ladies dress to impress and oppress, celebrities and politicians are invited to show the mettle of the couple. What a sham!

7. Puts couples under unnecessary pressure to perform/impress: The financial and emotional weight that couples go through during weddings can only be fully understood by the married. Your friends/family/neighbors/work colleagues/ex-classmates/enemies/beefers/critics/bad belle people/supporters/strangers, everyone is packed under one roof, some to see you shine, others to see you crumble, most just to come to eat and go. That’s pressure at its peak.

8. Asoebi wahala problem: Due to the expensive nature of weddings, cost recovery avenues have taken a new dimension. The costume (asoebi) of the wedding has become even more expensive. Asoebi has graduated from being offered for free to some going for as high as N20,000. So I have to pay to attend your wedding, coupled with my transport fare? Happy Married Life, I’ll rather stay home and watch Premier League football.

9. Disregard for time: The best organized wedding I ever attended was in fact the most cost effective wedding I ever attended. Church proceedings took place from 10 am till 11:30 am, snapping of pictures and procession to the venue of the reception which was at the back of the church was from 11:30 am to 12 pm. Exactly 12 pm, the MC took the Mic and the reception had commenced. After a few cutting of the cake and couple dance activities, food was shared in packs and around 2 pm, the wedding was over. A wonderfully organized wedding took under 4 hours to execute and everyone had the rest of the day to handle their biz. Sad to say but most African weddings don’t take this route. In fact, attending a wedding in Africa means you have dedicated the whole day for the couple. The last wedding I attended commenced 10 am and by 5 pm that I was leaving, the couple were just doing their traditional dance. What a waste of time.

10. Church weddings: I wonder if they have used church to swear for Africans. What’s our obsession with having our weddings in the confines of a church. We have this unfounded mindset that having a wedding in church means God is involved. The same Christians read Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst” in church often. What happened to a quiet garden, or a hall, or even at home. Must the vows be exchanged in church? Africans!!!!