#DearFutureWife: 20 Rules For My Future Wife

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1. #DearFutureWife, wearing a waist chain is very compulsory. No excuses

2. #DearFutureWife, I know the difference between poundo yam and pounded yam so don’t even try fooling me.

3. #DearFutureWife, your younger sister or female friend can’t stay with us. The devil also works in mysterious ways!

4. #DearFutureWife, I have a calendar to monitor your menstrual flow so don’t even use period as a means to escape sex. Don try it.

5. #DearFutureWife, wrapper is banned in my house. Dress like a chic not an old woman biko.

6. #DearFutureWife, using our real names are banned in the house. Never refer to me as Kurtis, my name is sugar banana. U hear!

7. #DearFutureWife, any panties that covers ur ass chicks especially grand ma panties are not allowed in my house. G-strings or thongs or no panties. Simple.

8. #DearFutureWife, I’ll spoil you. I’ll spend on you. I’ll make you look beautiful. But on one condition, u work 4ur money but I’ll spend mine on u.

9. #DearFutureWife, we are wealthy doesn’t mean we spend anyhow. At the end of the month, we must balance the books.

10. #DearFutureWife, don’t use work as an excuse not to feed me. No “babe, ur food is in the microwave” talk. Its unacceptable.

11. #DearFutureWife, sex in the room is restricted to only once a week. Other days kitchen, car, parlor, bathroom n even generator house will suffice.

12. #DearFutureWife, I am mandated by section 3, subsection 2 of the love constitution to open doors for u. If I don’t, don’t get out of the car.

13. #DearFutureWife, let’s make sure we never sleep over a fight/disagreement. No settling, no sleeping.

14. #DearFutureWife, if u don’t have a car, I’m not permitted to have one. U can’t be entering taxi while I drive freely. The devil is a liar!

15. #DearFutureWife, hug another man only if your boobs are in your hand bag.

16. #DearFutureWife, don’t worry about my mother, you are my first and most important relationship.

17. #DearFutureWife, there must be a mutual respect btw u and my mum. I came out of her, our kids will come out of u. Love each other by force by fire.

18. #DearFutureWife, shaving is not a luxury but a necessity. It must be a smooth as a table if u want me to eat it. I’ll sure u get. Better pikin.

19. #DearFutureWife, what God can’t do through me should remain undone. Asking another man for money even ur father is an abomination.

20. #DearFutureWife, if your family is bold enough to ask for three sheets of paper full of bride price. They shuld prepare for 10 years of no chop money from me.

 

note Forgive the typos/shortened words, these rules were supposed to be for my BBM contacts but I was almost arm twisted into putting them on the blog. I hope you enjoyed it and I also promise to OBEY all 20 rules. Cross my heart.

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12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Yna Alba
    May 30, 2015 @ 21:53:55

    Amusing! I’m afraid I am what you are looking for. Lol.. Let’s start as friends though 😊😊

    Reply

    • kingkurtissmith
      Jul 06, 2015 @ 16:01:16

      Awwwwwwwww Alba. I am so sorry my response is coming this late. I hope the offer still stands? Where are we getting married though? I was thinking about Paris, are you game?

      Reply

  2. Rahma
    Jul 05, 2015 @ 08:11:40

    No doubt you’re an awesome husband. You write very amazingly. Every word of yours got me WOW.

    Reply

  3. Rahma
    Jul 08, 2015 @ 09:58:22

    @strictlyfabb

    Reply

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