God Loves Sex

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Sex has long be taunted as something that is dirty, unholy and an eye sore to God. Although pre-marital sex could be termed the above especially the former, sex in marriage is anything but an eye sore to God. As a matter of fact, sex in marriage is a pleasure unto God.
The times a man and his wife engage in sexual relations, God is smiling as if to say “yes, that’s my boy, give it to her” or “that’s my girl, show him what you got”.

Sex is beautiful, wonderful and very holy in the confines of marriage and its absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Before having sex in marriage, pray that God guides you in the right way to satisfy your partner because the Bible says “its not by power or by might or the amount of sex styles you know but by My Spirit sayeth the Lord” Zechariah 4:6 (paraphrased). Its one thing for pray for children, its another thing to act on that prayer. A farmer can pray for a harvest but if he doesn’t plant the seeds, harvest is a mere fantasy. Same thing with children, you can’t pray for children and not have sex when you are not virgin Mary.
We here Pastors and Religious leaders mention the 10 commandments in the Bible and also how a man must love his wife and how a woman must respect her husband but they fail to mention the biggest commandment in marriage which is mentioned in 1 Corinthians 7:3,5 (paraphrased) “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights (make love to her), and likewise the wife to her husband (make love to him). Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together (have sex) again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

I remember writing an article titled “Pastors And Their Sex Lives” (click to READ) and a reader’s comment all but put a nail in the coffin of the Church’s apparent denial and lack of depth in their teaching of sex. Michael, the reader commented and I quote “Hello everyone. This is really an eye opener, I always feel sad or bad as if I have committed a crime after making sweet love with my wife..and after it I always feel as if I have sinned against God but after reading this article and the scripture placed on it…I just realized that it was ignorance that have been making me feel like that…thanks to you all for this eye opener”.

Remember he used “wife” to describe his woman which means he’s obviously married but still felt guilt or sinful when making “sweet love” with her.
Good to know as a result of an article I put up, his mindset has been corrected for life.

Sex is not bad, sex is beautiful and God loves sex. Just remember to get married before engaging in it.

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7 Things You Should Know About Sex In Marriage

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1. It is boring: I’m sure you have heard tales about sex during marriage being exceptionally good, very emotional and very spicy. The type of sex a man thinks about while at the office and the type a woman thinks about while making her hair. Well, to an extent and depending on the couple, the above could be true but in most cases and realistically speaking, sex in marriage is boring. Don’t be deceived.
There are times you rather watch that movie or watch a soccer game or hang out with the guys or gist with the ladies or even SLEEP than have sex but since your spouse wants some, you have to give him/her some. You have no choice but to lie down there like a chicken waiting to be slaughtered if you are woman or climb her and shake like a epileptic patient if you are the man. Please rid your mind of amazing sex all time in marriage, you are gonna have boring sex. I promise you that.

2. It is selfless: Most times as singles or even as newly married couples, you will have the kissing-from-the-car-tearing-eachother-shirts-and-sex-on-the-floor kind of sex. The sex that both parties are ready and passionately interested in. But in other cases, you will have that let’s-make-a-baby sex or even the I’m-tired-from-work sex. Sex is not going to be convenient all the time but its your responsibility as a spouse to never ever leave your partner sex starved. Never.

3. It is fast: This scenario best explains this point. You guys are married with three kids who left the house for school. While chatting with your wife from work, you get horny which in turn gets her horny so you head home fast after work before the kids gets back. You get home with a wife half naked waiting for her knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet unto the bed. As you both are getting undressed, you realize that the kids are just 10 minutes away from home. No time for the usual foreplay ritual, its time for a quickie. Sex that usually takes 30 minutes to an hour is cut short to 5 minutes but in most cases, the shorter the more intense and the more intense the better. Get ready for short sex in marriage.

4. It is for life: The dark side about pre-marital sex is the fact that you can change your sexual partner when tired. So if a man doesn’t satisfy you like he used to or your woman isn’t as prolific as she used to be in bed then you can afford to switch and sign for another team (in football terms). In marriage, you stick to your partner FOR LIFE. So if her vagina has expanded due to childbirth or old age, remember its “our” vagina and you are bound to it for life. If his penis takes an hour to stand and falls less than 5 minutes later, remember its “our” penis and you are bound to it for life.

5. It is godly: Sex has long be taunted as something that is dirty, unholy and an eye sore to God. Although pre-marital sex could be termed the above especially the former, sex in marriage is anything but an eye sore to God.   Sex is beautiful, wonderful and very holy in the confines of marriage and its absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Continue Reading: “God Loves Sex

6. It is a secret: Your sex life is a secret to be guarded from your children, family members and even friends. Remember the days we asked our parents how we were born, and they would reply with “you came from Heaven”. Yes its that secretive. Your children should not even know you guys are making out. Also keep sex gist away from friends and family. Its where advice like “find a younger girl because your wife is not satisfying you” or “get yourself a small boy to make you feel like a woman” emanates from. If you need sex advice, speak to people experienced in the field.

7. It is natural: I have had girls who are virgins worry about satisfying their much experienced spouses when they married and my response has always been the same “the same way a baby was not taught how to breathe because its only natural as a human being to breathe, the same applies to sex, no one can teach you to have sex because its natural.”
When God created Adam and Eve, the Bible said in Genesis 1:7 “Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply.””
What caught my attention about this verse is the fact that He told them to multiply (through sex obviously) but never taught them how to do it. Remember the verse said “He blessed them” meaning he blessed them with the act/knowledge/skill to have sex and multiply.
Never be too anxious, sex is natural to you and you will get better with time. Everyone gets better with practice, remember to learn and unlearn with your partner, be adventurous, leave your comfort zone and explore.

Enjoy a wonderful sex life IN MARRIAGE.

Why Every Girl Needs A Sugar Daddy

 

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It’s no secret that ladies especially young girls in Africa and to be more precise Nigeria have long practiced the habit of “sugar daddry” (for lack of a more suitable word).  Sugar daddy in street terms implies an older man who cares for a younger lady by providing for her financially and otherwise. Knowing that nothing in life is free, its safe to ask what these “sugar daddies” gets from younger girls in exchange for their “benevolence”. The answer is simple: her body. A sugar daddy usually a married elderly man often befriends a girl young enough to be his daughter, promises her Heaven on Earth in exchange for sexual favors.

If you clicked on this post expecting to read reasons why girls should have these parasites called sugar daddies then you are surely gonna leave disappointed. This piece unashamedly focuses on the real men in a girl’s life, the men that should and in most cases are not the sugar daddies in their daughter’s lives. The men that should treat their daughters with all the love, care, support, affection that the so called sugar daddies are currently doing and not exploiting their daughter’s femininity, innocence and sexuality like those sugar daddies are doing. These men are fathers.

Yet another father’s day is upon us and the importance of a father in a child’s life cannot be overestimated. Mothers play a crucial and very vital role in a child’s life judging by the fact they are the first point of contact a baby has either on the inside world (the womb) or on the outside world.
Fathers don’t have the biological privilege of bringing a daughter into this World but in my own opinion have the privilege of shaping her entire World.

A father’s involvement in his daughter’s life is a crucial ingredient in the development of a young woman’s self esteem, self image, confidence and opinions of men in the long run. The World they say is a man’s World and its no secret that a woman’s world evolves around the life of the man in her life (whether father or husband). The type of man that a woman dates and has long-term relationships with is directly related to the kind of relationship she has with her father.

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HOW TO BE A SUGAR DADDY:

1. Treat her mother specially: The first man a girl ever knows his her father and the first relationship she would experience is the one between her father and mother. If a man treats his wife like a queen, values her opinion, respects her views, cherishes, nourishes and protects his woman (her mother), his daughter would invariably expect such treatment from the man she enters a relationship with. This special treatment given to her mother tells a daughter that men should value women as human beings, as equals, and not as persons to be used. “Daughters would see what their father’s believe about women by how they value and respect women or by how they fail to do so” says Michael Austin, editor of Fatherhood – Philosophy for Everyone.

2. Treat her specially: As earlier mentioned, the first man a girl ever knows his her father. The relationship she has with her father is always going to affect her relationship with other men.  A sugar daddy is expected to be very close to his daughter, to be her best friend, to be her stronghold, a shoulder to lean/cry on. A sugar daddy is expected to spend regular quality time with his daughter. Don’t be afraid to take her out shopping (not give her money to go shopping), go to her friend’s party with her, go jogging with her.

Let her know you love her with the words and hugs that are appropriate for her age. Whatever your relationship with her mother, your relationship with your daughter is critically important.

Teach your daughter about privacy, modesty, and appropriate boundaries. Fathers model where the lines are between appropriate affection and inappropriate touch.

A sugar daddy should be his daughter’s classmate/teacher/principal. Be interested in what she is learning in school. Pay attention to her interests and be honestly curious to learn what she knows about them. Share interesting things about your work and your hobbies. Research shows that the most successful women have generally had fathers who were interested in their intellect and their academics.

A sugar daddy is very interested in what interests his daughter be it girls’ basketball or musical theater. As long as his daughter is involved, he creates time to encourage her and make her feel loved. She needs you there as a witness to her talents, her efforts, and her achievements.

A sugar daddy should be his daughter’s mirror. We live in a culture where girls are often insecure about their looks. Girls are known to alter how God brought them into this World by bleaching their skins in a bid to look “perfect”. The problem with this level of insecurity originated from childhood when the man in her life never told her how beautiful she is. She grows up seeking approval from other men and when she sees men paying attention to a particular spec of women (the busty, fair, full lips, Brazilian hair wearing types), she forgets that she’s made different and aspires to look like someone she’s not. A sugar daddy’s genuine, sincere and non sexual compliments on her dress sense, her facial beauty (how she looks like her mother or has the eyes of her grand mum) are one of the building blocks of her self-esteem.

A sugar daddy shows his daughter that real men can negotiate differences with women. When you and your significant other or a female relative disagrees, or if you disagree with her, let your daughter see you work through the conflict in a calm and reasonable way. That you don’t impose your opinion on the woman in question or shout her down or shut her up because she’s a woman. She is less likely to fall for a bully if she knows that men and women can deal with differences respectfully.

A sugar daddy treats all adult women the way he wants his daughter to be treated someday. He takes care with what he says about women he works with, the women in his family, and even the woman driving the car in the next lane. Don’t indulge in mother-in-law or other sexist jokes. Your daughter is listening. Your attitude about women is part of the attitude she is developing about herself.

A sugar daddy treats his daughter the way he wants her future partner to treat her. The way you interact with your daughter is what she becomes used to when relating to a man. Treat her with respect, dignity, caring, and affection and she will expect to be treated that way by a mate.

Last but most importantly, be the kind of man you want your daughter to marry. Make no mistake; you are the model for manhood your daughter is likely to look for when she starts to date. If you want her to find a man who is faithful to his partner, who is honest and hardworking, who knows how to have fun, who uses money wisely and who doesn’t abuse people, drugs, or alcohol, then you need to be that kind of man. “Do as I say, not as I do” seldom works. Your daughter will believe what you do far more than what you say.

We need more fathers to take up the “sugar daddy” role often occupied by men with selfish desires. As a man, I vow to be a sugar daddy to my daughters and help other men brace up and take up their role and I have done my part by putting this article together. It’s now left to you guys to not only read this article but propagate the gospel by sharing with fathers and aspiring fathers alike. As a woman, endevour your husband or fiance/boyfriend/brother/male friends reads, meditates and abides by the rules in this article for a more confident World of women in the future. Thank you.

Happy Father’s Day to the real fathers (not sperm donors) out there.

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MUST VIEW: Father and Daughter Beautifully Recreate Wedding Photos of Late Mother (very touching story that would move the stoniest of hearts with adorable pictures to match) #Enjoy

References:
“The Importance of the Father-Daughter Relationship: www.shesknows.com
“Daughters Need Fathers Too”: www.psychcentral.com
“The Important Role of A Dad”: www.huffingtonpost.com
“How Dads Affect Their Daughters Into Adulthood”: www.family-studies.org

69 Sex Quotes That Make Sense

 

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Since I am not allowed to talk about sex without people insinuating that I am having it, let me leave others to do the talking…lol.  Most of these quotes are cocky, some funny, others inspirational but all are very true. Sit back, relax and enjoy.

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Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go it’s pretty damn good.
– Woody Allen

Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets.
– Andy Warhol

Sex is… perfectly natural. It’s something that’s pleasurable. It’s enjoyable and it enhances a relationship. So why don’t we learn as much as we can about it and become comfortable with ourselves as sexual human beings because we are all sexual?
– Sue Johanson

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
– Swami X

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Sex is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.
– Marquis de Sade

Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.
– Oscar Wilde

Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.
– Deepak Chopra

I like threesomes with two women, not because I’m a cynical sexual predator. Oh no! But because I’m a romantic. I’m looking for “The One.” And I’ll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time.
– Russell Brand

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The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.
– Alfred Kinsey

I am not saying renounce sex, I am saying transform it. It need not remain just biological: bring some spirituality to it. While making love, meditate too. While making love, be prayerful. Love should not be just a physical act; pour your soul into it.
– Osho

I write about sex because often it feels like the most important thing in the world.
– Jeanette Winterston

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it.
– Cary Grant

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“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”
– Frank Zappa

“I went to Catholic school and they basically just said don’t have sex, but would never explain anything.”
– Khloe Kardashian

“A man is basically as faithful as his options.”
– Chris Rock

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
– Billy Crystal

“There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don’t need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.”
– Audrey Hepburn

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Don’t knock masturbation — it’s sex with someone I love.
– Woody Allen

“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
– Mae West

“I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody’s face while we’re having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?”
— Laura Kightlinger

“Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.”
― Suze Orman

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“The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she’s shopping.”
—Joan Rivers

“It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.”
― Jarod Kintz

“Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”
― Woody Allen

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
― Barbara Bush

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“But when a woman decides to sleep with a man, there is no wall she will not scale, no fortress she will not destroy, no moral consideration she will not ignore at its very root”
― Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”
― Steve Martin

“My mother told me that life isn’t always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.”
― Chelsea Handler

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
― George Burns

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“Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“Sex is great until you die, but it’s never as great as it was when you were a kid, when it was a mystery.”
―David Duchovny

“I write about sex because often it feels like the most important thing in the world.”
―Jeanette Winterston

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
― Billy Crystal

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“Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, writer

“I need more sex, OK? Before I die I wanna taste everyone in the world.”
― Angelina Jolie

“I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they’re seeing too much. Everything is about sex, and that’s fine for me. I’m not saying I don’t like it. But I don’t think it should be everywhere, where kids are exposed to everything sexual. Because they have to have some innocence; there’s just no innocence left.”
― Ellen DeGeneres

“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was ‘the man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.”
― Joan Rivers

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“Sex is the driving force on the planet. We should embrace it, not see it as the enemy.”
― Hugh Hefner

“Sex is like money; only too much is enough.”
― John Updike, novelist

“I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.”
― Zsa Zsa Gabour

“I need sex for a clear complexion, but I’d rather do it for love.”
― Joan Crawford

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“Kissing – and I mean like, yummy, smacking kissing – is the most delicious, most beautiful and passionate thing that two people can do, bar none. Better than sex, hands down.”
― Drew Barrymore

“Sex is hardly ever just about sex.”
― Shirley MacLaine

“Maybe our generation is more about sex, but it feels like romance is dying out.”
― Orlando Bloom

“I want to wait to have sex until I’m married.”
― Britney Spears

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“Sex is full of lies. The body tries to tell the truth. But, it’s usually too battered with rules to be heard, and bound with pretenses so it can hardly move. We cripple ourselves with lies.”
– Jim Morrison

“Sex is a part of love. You shouldn’t go around doing it unless you are in love.”
Bettie Page

“An intellectual is a person who’s found one thing that’s more interesting than sex.”
– Aldous Huxley

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.
– Bill Cosby

“There are two things people want more than sex and money… recognition and praise.”
– Mary Kay Ash

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“The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.”
― Woody Allen

“Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.”
― Hunter S. Thompson

“She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to. 
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― Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

“Sex is an emotion in motion.”
― Mae West

“Flirting is a woman’s trade, one must keep in practice.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

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“Someone told me the delightful story of the crusader who put a chastity belt on his wife and gave the key to his best friend for safekeeping, in case of his death. He had ridden only a few miles away when his friend, riding hard, caught up with him, saying ‘You gave me the wrong key!”
― Anaïs Nin

“I believe that good sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can’t buy.”
― Steve Martin

“Reading—it’s the third best thing to do in bed.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book Title is Invisible

“A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.”
― Joan Rivers

“Its too painful” is the story of my sex life”
– Kurtis Smith

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“If a man can possess a woman sexually -really possess- he won’t need to control her ideas, her opinions, her clothes, her friends, even her other lovers.”
― Toni Bentley

“The function of muscle is to pull and not to push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.”
― Leonardo da Vinci

“Software is like sex: it’s better when it’s free.”
– Linus Torvalds

“I want people – especially young girls – to know that in life, nothing is going to be based on sex appeal. You’ve got to have something else to go with that.”
– Nicki Minaj

 

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“I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”
― Woody Allen

“For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.”
― Isabel Allende

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References:

“Quotes about Sex” via: http://www.goodreads.com
“50 Famous Sex Quotes” via: http://www.stylecaster.com
“15 Funny Quotes About Sex From Famous Women We Love” via: http://www.yourtango.com
“Sex quotes” via: http://www.brainyquotes.com
“69 Greatest quotes about sex” via: http://www.thoughtcatalog.com

LOVE: How Young and Old People See It

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I was having a conversation with a friend when the issue of love came up. She was of the opinion that old people and young people saw love very differently and the points she made coupled with a few of mine inspired this article.

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HOW YOUNG PEOPLE SEE LOVE:

Young people see love as a feeling, that butterflies-in-the-stomach kinda feeling, the feeling that keeps you up all night chatting on social media. The kind of feeling that sweeps you off your feet. The young people love is the selfish love that wants the partner to be there always for them, to give to them, to enrich them. From a young lady’s perspective, love is one that is always there for them both physically and emotionally. Love to a young lady is about financial rewards, “if he loves me, he will provide for me, he will be there for me always, he will make sure I lack nothing”.
From a young man’s perspective, love is one that is always there for them physically and sexually. Love to a young man is about sexual rewards, “if she loves me, she will be there for me, she will make sure I am sexually satisfied”.
Young people’s love is mostly selfish and one that seeks to take as much as possible from the other person. Young people’s love is always about one person “ME”. Young people find it hard to see things from their partner’s perspective. It is always about “how she broke my heart”, “how he hurt my feelings”, “how he was too selfish to take care of my financial needs”, “how she resisted my moves to have sex”.
Young people’s love has an expiring date, it always lasts until the other party does wrong or as soon as the love cloud fades and faults are visible. Young people’s love is conditional, the give-me-something-before-you-get-something-in-return kinda love. Young people’s love is barely sacrificial and very short tempered. Young people’s love is mainly sex-centered. It’s about that passionate time in between the sheets. The intense sexual chemistry between lovers and the bond shared. Young people’s love is mostly about the physical; facial beauty, height, bust, ass, boobs, hips.

 

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HOW OLD PEOPLE SEE LOVE:

Old people have taken love from a mere feeling to a more powerful force called commitment. A commitment to stay with their partner in sickness and in health, in rich and poor. Old people see love as sacrificial. “I give up this for him not because I am comfortable doing it but because I know it’s best for him and for now its all about him not me”. Old people’s love is about forgiveness, forgiveness and more forgiveness. Whereas young people’s love counts wrong, old people have no time or even the memory to remember wrongs. All they do is forgive that drunkard or a man, that cheating husband, that venomous wife, that troublesome woman.
Old people started sex before most young people’s parents even left the University so sex isn’t much of an issue. That hand holding moment, that peck, that hug means more to old people that to young people. When young people get offended by their spouse, breakup or divorce flashes at the back of their minds but when old people get offended by their spouse, it’s too late to even entertain the idea of finding someone else so breakup/divorce is even out of it when death is in on the horizon. Old people’s love is very patient and sacrificial. Old people’s love has gone pass physical looks because everything is now saggy, rough and some don’t even stand anymore..lol, it’s now about the emotional and the psychological.

Young people have a lot to learn from the old folks and the most important lesson is in the field of love. The more the young ones talk and learn from old folks, the better and longer their relationships would be and the happier they would be in general.

Read This Before You Criticize Anyone Again

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I was just enjoying the sermon in church, you know those moments when you feel the message is just for you, when the spirit is moving and you are recounting the many wrongs you have done and remorsefully asking God for mercy when this little child at my back started destabilizing my countenance and spiritual focus with her screams and cries. In my mind, I was like “is this child evil? shouldn’t she be aware that this is absolutely the wrongest time to make her opinion heard with such a distasteful outburst? What sort of child screams in church? Can’t her mother spank some sense into this child?”. Seemed like a trap but as soon as those thoughts came into my head, a word came into my heart saying “why are you condemning a child when you don’t even know what she is going through? why are you condemning this child that doesn’t even know her left from her right? why are you condemning her like you acted differently when you were her age? If she knew better, don’t you think she would act better?”.

Below is a piece originally sighted in Dale Carnegie’s book “How To Win Friends and Influence People” but credited to W. Livingston Larned titled “Father Forgets”. Its touching and should teach everyone a lesson on dealing with children and people in general.

 

FATHER FORGETS by W. Livingston Larned

“Listen, son; I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” and I frowned, and said in reply, “Hold your shoulders back!”

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came Up the road, I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before you boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive – and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, form a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. “What is it you want?” I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding – this was my reward to your for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing buy a boy – a little boy!”

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.”

It’s no secret that people are always quick to condemn others even without understanding why they did what they did or review the options they had before making the decisions they did. Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.” As Dr. Johnson said: “God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.” Why should you and I?

 

malcom x

Reference: How To Win Friends And Influence People By Dale Carnegie

Ladies: Nude Pictures and Sex Tapes

nude picture lover blog

Its funny how a video of a couple having sex comes out and the girl gets the most of the trash talk. She’s a hoe, she’s loose, she’s this, she’s that. I’m like “Helloooooo, what about the dude in the video?”

A girl’s nude picture would travel faster and wider than that of a guy because a girl’s sexuality sells market (in an Igbo trader’s voice). Take a look at the commercials on TV, billboards, adverts on the internet, put a lady showing some flesh and even ladies would pay more attention.

The other day, the story of a beauty queen who got dethroned because her nude pictures got leaked by a tabloid in. her country got my attention. According to the source, she apparently shared the nude pictures on her Whatsapp group (like seriously?) before she became famous and then when fame came calling, she was caught pants down.

With this shameful debacle in mind, a friend pinged and asked me the same question I get asked all the time. In her own words “Is good for a girl to send nude pix to her bf?”.

The answer I gave to her was very short and straight to the point, but before I get to that, let me share the view on a few friends on the same topic when asked “is it okay for a girl to send nude pictures of herself to her intimate lover/boyfriend?”

Ere P:
Its not cool. What if he keeps it in his phone and does not delete. It might just go online if someone else gets to it. What if she cheats on him or wants to quit the relationship, he could use the pictures to blackmail her.
It’s not morally right. If she can be so confident in sending him a nude picture, how sure is she that he isn’t confident enough to do what he pleases with the picture?

Slimee:
I never used to see anything wrong with it but I think I do now. The rate at which guys leak female nudes is alarming. It all depends on d guy’s mindset though but it’s better not to send.

Joy:
No because you never can tell who might come across it. What if they breakup and he decides to expose her. Even if he doesn’t want to expose her intentionally, what if someone asks to see pictures on his phone, sees her nudes and transfers them to their phone.
What happens afterwards?

Chinda:
Nope, never okay. If the pictures gets out either intentionally or by mistake, would the love be strong enough to dame the consequences? Another bone of contention is the bad breakup angle, what if he decides out of jealousy/anger/envy to show the World her nude body?
Why not have a Skype call with him and show him whatever you must or you could send without ur face showing.
In my honest opinion, don’t even do it.

Rukky:
Answer to the question is No because you can never trust anyone over pictures in this internet age. There are so many cases of guys sharing their girls nude pictures on social networks. So I’d advise strongly against it. But if you think your boyfriend is responsible and has an image to uphold and you trust him a lot then it’s up to you.

 

Their replies reminded me of the lady who asked a popular blogger if it was okay to record herself having sex with her boyfriend. Both strike the same cord with is “nudity” which could turn into “public display of nudity” if the video/pictures gets out on the public domain.

The sad part is that ladies get hurt the most when such private acts are leaked unless you are a certain Kardashian whose sex tape helped spring her into celebrity status.

My advice to the lady was simple. I asked her just one question,
“If after you breakup with ur bf, he decides to send your nude pix to your friends and you find them on the internet, how would you feel?”
She replied “I would feel down, very bad, if not depressed”
And then I followed “That’s the risk you face each time you send him your nude picture. Its not worth it. If he wants to see you naked, he shuld see it live not through a picture”. That solved the issue as the dude (not even her bf) asking for her nudes was angry because she refused to send making her feel guilty.

In conclusion, most nude pictures/sex tapes come out unintentionally, ask Gabrielle Union and other celebrities caught in the cloud hack scandal. If you really want to send him a nude picture, don’t include your face, or at least it gives you some room to deny it was you if push comes to shove. Talking about sex tapes, don’t allow him record you both having sex under the guise that he will delete it later.
Be smart. Don’t do stupid things for love.
Be guided.