To Parents: The Issue of Premarital Sex

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That joy on a father’s face when he sees his beautiful daughter dancing the famous “Ada Ada” song by Flavour on her wedding day.

A father’s love for his daughter is unquantifiable and their protection of their daughters is even more intense.

A father protects his daughters like a hen protects it’s chicks. Come close and face his wrath. This form is love and protection is a delight to any young girl while growing up because in the midst of her brothers, she’s seen as the most cherished especially if she happens to be his only daughter. She gets all the chocolates when daddy travels, extra money for Christmas clothes, extra pocket money for her upkeep.

Then as daddy’s little girl grows up, she isn’t so little anymore. He realizes that she’s beginning to take after her mother in more ways than one. Daddy’s little girl has started attracting the attention of men in the neighborhood. The annoying part is that daddy’s little girl isn’t afraid of flaunting what her momma gave her.

Daddy doesn’t want his little girl to fall into the wrong hands or any hands at all so he protects her in the best way an African man by monitoring her movements.

He makes sure she dresses with some decency when she steps out of the house. He frowns on any guy that “corners” his daughter after church to grab her number. He frows at the idea of a guy visiting his daughter at home (African fathers are rumoured to shoot any man that dares such suicidal mission). He asks her investigative questions about her outing like “Where are you going to? Which of your girlfriends? Where does she stay”. He sets her curfew for about 6/7pm.

All these he does to protect his daughter but as his little girl grows, the quest for her own independence grows. “I am no longer a small girl”, she would say under her breathe anytime daddy shows off.

But then daddy’s little girl is sent off to the University and she finally flaps her wings of independence and soars unapologetically. She’s no longer under the strict and monitoring glare of daddy and she lets loose. She gets all the attention from girlfriend hungry boys. She goes clubbing with her friends. She falls head over heels in love with this cute boy in his final year and then under the euphoria of love is disvirgined.

Daddy is at home revelling in the academic exploits of his first class daughter and rebuffs the advances of prospective suitors. His daughter is too young to envisage marriage. “Let her finish school, get a good job before we discuss marriage”, he would tell his wife whenever the topic of marriage came up in their discussion.

Daddy’s little girl enjoys sex and has it at will with her boyfriend while daddy is singing her praises at home. She ends things with her first boyfriend after he finishes school and distance drowns the affection they both had for eachother. She moves on with another guy. They are also having sex and she loves it.

Daddy never discussed sex with her, all she was told by mummy when she was about 10 years was that “if a guy touches you, you will get pregnant”.
Daddy and mummy never even discussed talking about sex education with their children but expected them to be good boys and girl by following the doctrine of the Bible and staying away from sin (sex included).

No father would ever envision his daughter having sex outside marriage and most carry the my-daughter-is-a-virgin mindset around. This mentality comes crashing down when he discovers that his daughter, yes his baby daughter, his little princess is pregnant for her University boyfriend.

I have a five prong mind pricking questions for parents about their children and premarital sex.
Firstly, why are girls and guys given differential treatment when it comes to dating and sex? The boys are given a free hand while the girls are treated like they don’t have a mind of their own and don’t know the difference between good and bad.
Secondly, why are you guys not bold enough to discuss sex with your children? What are you afraid of?
Thirdly, why the holier than thou attitude when it comes to sex? Like some of you fathers aren’t the ones sleeping with people’s daughters and you don’t want your own daughter to enjoy what you are enjoying?
Why act so surprised, shocked and disappointed when your daughter brings home an unwanted pregnancy or your son gets a girl pregnant when you never discussed sex, pregnancy and safe sex with them?
Lastly, why leave the topic of sex to Biology teachers or religious leaders who treat the topic like a taboo?

To Pastors: The Issue Of Premarital Sex

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You need to see religious leaders discuss money, family, God and salvation and skillfully skip topics likes sex, mastubation like the human beings they are preaching to are made of the proverbial “wood”.

Listening to Pastors preach, one would naturally assume that they and their wives never engage in anything as immoral as sex. All they need to do is fast and pray and God will give them children.

Listening to Pastors preach, one would assume that the only sexual position they know and practise is the one that has missionary in it. Oral sex, doggystyle, cowgirl, scissors style, touch your toes styles aren’t things Pastors are even aware of. One would think.

Listening to Pastors preach, one would think all a couple needs for a successful marriage is God and love that sex is just a minor distraction.

Listening to Pastors preach, one would think getting horny or desiring sex as a single person is a sin. “Just looking at a woman seductively or thinking about sex is a sin”, some Pastors would confidently say.

Listening to Pastors preach, one would assume that sex was just God’s plan for procreation. That’s all. Really Pastor?

Listening to Pastors preach, one would assume that mastubation is a capital offense in God’s eyes and its as grave as killing a person.

Christians are admonished to not engage in premarital sex because it’s a sin and against the tenets of Christianity. Pastors are bound to quote several scriptures in the Bible to support this conclusion.

I agree.

But…………

What Pastors have failed to realize is that sex is the second most common reason for divorce after money problems.

From the money angle, people get married and are aware of their spouses financial capabilities. A woman knows the limits to his future husband’s pockets, what he is worth and what he can or can’t afford. In fact religious leaders encourage women not to enter serious relationships with lazy men that can’t cater for the family. Men on the other hand are admonished to become financial buoyant before getting married. True words I must say.

No woman is adviced to take a chance on the financial capability of a prospective suitor. No man on the other hand is adviced to lazy around and hope for financial assistance from his family for the upkeep of the family. As a matter of fact ladies are even admonished nowadays to support the family financially by working also.

Money issues being the primary cause of divorce is well discussed with couples before marriage. Kudos to Pastors.

Now to the second most common cause of divorce which is sex. Is it ever discussed in the church?

If couples are adviced to find out the financial capability of their future spouses, shouldn’t they be adviced to find out the sexual capability of the same partner?

Have Pastors failed to realize that sex is more about compatability than anything else? Or do they just keep denying this scientifically proven fact?

For example, a woman who was adviced to abhor premarital sex gets married to a man she never saw naked before. On the wedding night she imagined would be memorable ends up as a horrific experience because her new husband’s sexual organ is just a little bigger than her middle finger.
She sits down on her matrimonial bed distraught with tears flowing down her eyes and she thinks to herself “is this what I am going to endure for the rest of my life?. Had I known, I won’t have gotten married to him”.

She reluctantly discusses her lack of sexual satisfaction with Pastor’s wife and she gives her the popular advice “Pray about it. Put it in God’s hands”.

On a serious note, what is prayer and fasting going to achieve here please?
Suddenly remove her urge for sex or miraculously increase her husband’s private part from the size of pencil to a cucumber? Plssssssssssssssss. *rolls eyes*

Another man gets married to his virgin wife and expects a satisfactory sex life only to find out after the wedding that his wife hates sex as much as she hates the devil. He is expected to leave the issue to God right?

A few couples are adviced to discuss sex before marriage but when practise is not permitted, what are they supposed to discuss? Quality of sex or quantity of sex?

Quantity of sex can only be discussed because practise is what guarantees quality and practise is prohibited. Remember?

So a couple discuss quantity of sex like having it a minimum of four times a week but quality is often ignored and discarded because “sex before marriage is a sin”.

So the two questions I would love to pose to Pastors, religious fanatics, Bible scholars and spiri-coco people are these:

Sex has been abused and bastatised with everyone having it at will. I am not against prohibiting sex to just married couples but what about those that are seriously considering marriage. Shouldn’t they be allowed to find out if they are sexually compatible before marriage?

Secondly, if sex is the second most common reason for divorce, are you admonishing single folks to keep their fingers crossed and legs clossed till the wedding night and HOPE (the word hope is stressed emphatically here) they sexually compatible with the person they would spend the rest of their lives with?

Reasons Why The Gender Equality Bill Was Rejected

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The Nigerian Senate voted to consider the Gender and Equal Opportunities (GEO) bill for a second reading on Tuesday. The bill sought to end discrimination towards women, eliminate certain cultural and customary practices that impede women development and increase opportunities for women in the society. The fate of the bill was decided between the “Ayes” and the “Nays”. The Nays carried the day and unfortunately the bill was thrown out. As expected, Nigerians reacted, social media exploded and most Nigerians took to twitter and other forms to express their disgust.

In seeking further understanding of why the bill failed to gather support, I believe, a thorough knowledge of its contents are fundamental to making any comment or reservations. One does not drink a cup of hot tea at once, first, a sip to prevent a burn, then a mouthful but with the rise of social media, people rush to make a mouthful of harsh and uninformed commentary. While Nigerians may be partly right to condemn the rejection of the GEObill, the Senators were also right in rejecting the bill. I would have voted against the bill not because I am against equality or diminished opportunities for women rather the sponsor of the bill, Senator Biodun Olujimi and the bill itself remain vague in very crucial areas. Legislators must be very precise and clear when promoting and creating laws. Any ambiguity in the law births confusion. Confusion grows into error and an error within laws feeds lawlessness unless corrected.

 

NOTE: Before I commence, its only right I clear any misconceptions that might result from the reading of this article.
i. I am not a misogynist. I love women to the core and going through this blog would put to rest that notion.
ii. I am not against the passing of the bill (very far from it). I am against the raping of some of our cultural beliefs in the name of gender equality.
VERY IMPORTANT: Please, click HERE download the full Bill (PDF format) to fully understand what the Bill entails before passing judgement.

 

Now let’s take a closer look at the bill in toto:

  • The first important section of the bill which is Section 4 entitled “Prohibition of discrimination” which speaks against discrimination against any person on the ground of gender, age or disability passes the first integrity test.
  • The next section, Section 5 which is titled “Promotion of equality, full development and advancement of all persons” which entails laws that accord women, children and other persons equality before the law also scales through the integrity test.
  • The first contentious section in the bill is Section 6 titled “Adoption of temporary special measures to eliminate discrimination” which above all seeks a 35% quota for women is all offices/positions/appointments. What right does a Bill have to instruct an institution or company that it must employ 35% of women into its work force? What if the job is physically demanding? And what happens to institutions like saloons, stylists which employ predominantly women? Are they also supposed to employ minimum 35% of men also? The bill fails explicitly in this regard.
  • By a distance the most contentious section of the bill is Section 7 titled “Modification of socio-cultural practices” (by the way, why would a Bill seek to modify our cultural beliefs that has kept us “sane” for decades. The same cultural believes we chastise the Western World for lacking?) The first subsections of this section pass the test but then comes the sixth subsection which states,

“A widow shall have the right to an equitable share in the inheritance of the property of her husband and shall have the right to continue to live in the matrimonial house. In case of remarriage, she shall retain this right if the house belongs to her or she has inherited it.”

For starters, what is considered equitable (definition: fair and impartial). Is it 10%, 25%, 40%, 60%??? Who determines the equitable distribution in sharing the properties? These are unanswered questions.
In my opinion, a widow is entitled to everything her late husband owns but what if she’s culpable to his death. What then happens? The Bill doesn’t specify.

Another contentious part of Section 7 reads,

“Women and men shall have the right to inherit, in equitable shares, their parents’ properties.”

Traditional beliefs beg to differ. The little I know about marriage in Africa is that once a woman chooses to get married, her husband pays her bride price which invariably “buys” her away from her family to her husband’s family. She therefore forfeits her maiden name and takes her husband’s name. In turn forfeiting her parent’s properties for her husbands. What the Bill is saying is that if her husband dies, she inherits his properties and if her parents die, she inherits theirs also. Only one woman with rights in two different homes? Culture frowns against such.

  • Moving on, Section 8, 9 and 10 titled “Elimination of discrimination to political and public life”, “Elimination of discrimination in the field of Education” and “Elimination of discrimination in the field of Employment” respectively all carry their weight and are easily agreeable with.
  • The next section that would raised a few eyebrows is Section 11 titled “Elimination of discrimination on grounds of marital status”. The first subsection states that no institution should discriminate against women on ground of marital status or maternity. To put this into context, I had my first degree in one of the top Private Universities in the country (often branded a glorified Secondary School…I am sure you know which). This institution has engraved in its rules that getting pregnant while as a student gets you expelled. No excuses. This bill seeks to override the rules of this school and many others. So a girl gets pregnant and she cites this Bill and the institution has no right but to wave aside their rules in favour of her because of the Bill? Absurd.
  • Section 12 titled “Elimination of discrimination in the field of health” states,

“The Government shall protect the reproductive rights of women to terminate a pregnancy in cases of sexual assault, rape, incest, and where the continued pregnancy endangers the mental and physical health of the mother or the life of the mother or the foetus”.

Are the sponsors of this bill also saying abortion should be legalized? (Remember, abortion is not legal in Nigeria). Certainly, if abortion is to be legalized by such indirect means, then laws must be created to also protect women who seek termination of pregnancy. Stigmatization against women who have had abortions is prevalent in our society and sadly no where in the bill does it state measures to guard against such.

  • Sections 13 and 14 titled “Elimination of discrimination on socio- economic grounds” and “Right to choose indigeneship and identity” respectively could be passed without any hindrance.
  • The shortest section which is Section 15 which states “Women shall have equal rights with men to confer their citizenship on their children” has cultural ramifications. Culturally speaking, children naturally take after their father’s citizenship. But this Bill seeks to make it an option. So let’s take for example that Ethnicity could be classified as Citizenship. If an Edo man marries a Lagos woman. It means the woman could also enforce her right for the children to claim to be from Lagos instead of Edo State. Uncultural.
  • Sections 16 and 17 titled “The Rights of persons in rural communities” and “Rights in matters relating to marriage and family
    relations” respectively could also be passed without any hiccups.
  • Section 18, subsection (a) says all forms of violence against women including forced or unwanted sex is punishable with imprisonment and fine. Are the sponsors saying that a husband can rape his wife? Which remains a very grey area.
  • Section 19 starts off on a good note but sub section (b) is probably what irked the Northern Senators the most. The subsection states “the minimum age of marriage for women shall 18 years”. Which goes against Northern beliefs where girls are married off as early as 14 years. I am all in favour of legal age for marriage being 18 years but who am I to enforce my beliefs on another tribe/religion’s way of life?
  • Subsection (d) is by a distance the most interesting statement in the while bill which states,

“a woman and a man shall jointly contribute to safeguarding the interests of the family, protecting and educating their children”.

Does this mean that women MUST contribute equally money wise to the upkeep of the family? Does his bring an end to a man becoming the breadwinner? Maybe women and men are both equal breadwinners? Does that also bring an end to the a-man-must-be-rich-before-I-marry-him mentality that women have because they are by law expected to contribute equally to the upkeep of the family?

Subsection (e) of the same section states,

“during her marriage, a woman shall have the right to acquire her own property and to administer and manage it freely”.

Does this mean that married women would be allowed to buy property without the consent of her husband? Is this culturally right?

 

I will stop here but these objections and observations are proof of how ill prepared the bill was for passing.

There is still hope though.

The Senate President, Dr. Bukola Saraki said after the bill was rejected that the bill will be represented to the Senate.
In his words “I am of the opinion that there are substantial parts of the bill that are crucial to the development of our nation such as the Equal Access to Education, strengthening of the laws on Violence against Women, Ending Abduction of girls, Sustenance and Promotion of Entrepreneurship opportunities, Gender Mainstreaming and Gender equality, female participation in governance, among others. Unfortunately, the bill suffered a slight set back because there were some parts of the Bill that some Senators disagreed with along the lines of religion and tradition. The beauty of democracy is that it gives us the opportunity to consider different opinions and this bill can still be represented and reconsidered on the floor of the Senate I have it on good authority that Senator Biodun Olujimi who introduced this bill will reintroduce it after re-drafting it to address some of the reservations that were expressed on the floor of the Senate”.

Nigerian legislators must stop this lazy, nonchalant and copy and paste approach to lawmaking. Town hall meetings, workshops, community outreach must be embarked upon to ascertain current practices across different ethnic groups to ensure equal participation of every Nigerian in law-making, in addition, an understanding of the customs and traditions. What is easily acceptable amongst the Ibibios, Igbos, Yorubas, may meet stiff opposition with the Fulanis and Hausas. Nigerian legislators are one of the highest paid in the world, therefore, we demand justification for such remuneration.

Educating the public on the contents of a bill before its reading on the floor of the legislative chambers is very important. Efforts through social media, religious centers and educational institutions should be made to create awareness. We need education. Senator Bwacha and his colleagues should not be faulted for rejecting the bill. I believe if they were adequately informed, their positions would not have been against the bill. Reassurance by the Senate president that the bill will be reintroduced is commendable but he must ensure the sponsors of the bill, if they truly seek the interests of women at heart, must perform a thorough job at proving that this bill deserves a second chance.

 

Some might see this writer as an uneducated traditionalist whose cultural beliefs in this modern age are outdated. You are right.

 

References:

1. “There is still hope for Gender Equality Bill – Saraki” by Oluwatobi Bolashodun for Naij.com

2. “OPINION: Right or Wrong? Rejection of Gender and Equal Opportunity Bill” by Edwin Okon for orangenewsonline.com

3. Gender and Equal Opportunity Bill 2011 via http://bit.ly/1QVq5KT

The Danger Of Women Becoming Laptops

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In the beginning, God created Eve after He realized Adam needed a “help meet”. It was as if God saw the Adam’s limitations and created a vessel which He embedded the shortcomings of Adam in.

This is how I see it. God made a man and a woman in the form of a PC (Personal Computer) with both dependent on each other. The man is the CPU while the woman is the monitor, keyboard, mouse and UPS. No matter how powerful a CPU is, it’s useless without the monitor (for visuals), keyboard (for input), mouse (for navigation) and UPS (for power shortage). In that same vein, no matter how good other components of a PC are, it’s useless without a CPU. Both components need each other to function properly.

The problem we have in this modern age is that women have been “brain washed” to believe that they are competing with men. With quotes like “what a man can do, a woman can do better” becoming everyone woman’s mantra. This goes against God’s plan for women. In my honest opinion, women weren’t created to compete with men for supremacy, superiority or equality (equality in terms of rights not roles). Women weren’t created to do all a man can do and more. God would have created another Adam if that were to be the case. Simply put, women weren’t created to do what a man can do. Women were created to do everything a man can’t do. Big difference.

Women have lost their uniqueness in their quest to be equal to men and do everything a man can do.

Women have failed to realize that they were made to be a “help meet”. They have failed to realize that they have their role to play in making that PC (the family) functional. Instead of taking their role as the keyboard, monitor, mouse and UPS with utmost dedication and seriousness. They are fighting for gender supremacy and equality and in turn loosing their uniqueness.

Instead of doing everything a man can’t do thereby complementing him (remember he is the CPU and she’s the mouse, UPS, monitor and keyboard). Women are becoming laptops (multifuntional), and what good is a laptop to a CPU?

“Men and women have roles – their roles are different, but their rights are equal.” – Harri Holkeri

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Social Media: Its Brainwashing Effects

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Social media has emerged as a new frontier in the developing world. Information can be passed within seconds, good and services exchanged within minutes. The ease at which social media and its pros have penetrated into our subconscious has led to the unconscious infiltration of its cons.

Gone are the days when a guy had to go out, spot a girl that tickled his fancy, package himself, gather enough liver, arrange the right words, approach her and make his move. In those days, guys took girls more seriously because of the rigors it took to get one’s attention.
In this social media age, it takes just a Facebook request, a tweet, an IG like, a BBM request for a guy to get talking to a girl. With social media, a guy could approach 35 girls in the same time frame it used to take to approach one girl. Variety isn’t the spice of life in this case.

Gone are the days where a spouse’s cellphone was as open as a book. A partner could pick another partner’s phone calls, read their messages without arousing suspicions. The adage “My phone is your phone” was true.
Social media has brought with it secrets. Everyone has passwords to their phones to keep away the prying eyes of their partners. To put this phenomenon into context, couples find it easier to share their private parts with each other than to share their phones with one another. What a travesty.

Gone are the days when only a guy romantically linked with a girl or her husband had the rare privilege of seeing her body unclad. The days when girls held their body with the same high esteem they do with their phones now.
In this social media age, where girls send pictures of their body to anyone with the right words and enough persuasion. The “baby if you love me, send me a picture of your #&@$#” crew. Girls are ready to send naked pictures of themselves with reckless abandon in a bid to satisfy or appease the requester. Those pictures in turn are used as a bragging tool for the boastful fool or as ammunition for a vengeful and heartbroken ex. As a matter of fact, it’s easier to see a girl’s body in their era than to see her without makeup or on her natural hair. Worrisome innit?

Gone are the days when married couples actually respected their vows and kept themselves undefiled both mentally and physically. The days when it was harder for a married man to connect with another lady or for a married woman to gallivant with another man. Unfaithful men were seen as a reproach to their contemporaries. In those days, a cheating woman was virtually unheard of. Huh? A married woman caught cheating? It was easier to see a goat flying.
How has times changed. The advent of social networking sites especially the sometimes devilish Facebook has made adultery a thing of comfort. Men go on Facebook to look at different girls with various looks and shapes like they would do in a car shop filled with different brands of cars. They choose the girl(s) that fit their taste, chat her up, later exchange numbers/pins and the adultery is on its way to fulfillment.

Gone are the days when teenagers had to finish school, get good grades to get a cellphone. In fact, cellphones (called smartphones in this era) were a privilege in the past and had two functions: make/receive calls and send/receive text messages. No access to the Internet, no access to a camera, no access to social dating sites, no access to sex crazed men.
This is the age where everyone even children are handed phones as early as 10 years old. This innocent privilege gives rise to contact with paedophiles, porn, sexual content. No wonder the decrease in the rate of virgins as compared to the pre-social media era. Exposure at such an early age only gives rise to an inquisitive mind and an inquisitive mind always almost results in trial and error.

 

Click HERE to read Part 2

Social Media: Its Brainwashing Effects (Part 2)

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Social media has emerged as a new frontier in the developing world. Information can be passed within seconds, good and services rendered within minutes. The ease at which social media and its pros have penetrated into our subconscious has led to the unconscious penetrations of its cons.

Click HERE to read Part 1

Gone are the days where cellphones were used by smart people. Folks that could speak proper English or communicate effectively in their language.
We are in the age where smartphones are used by dull not-so-smart people. The era where every word is shortened to speed up typing. Where words like “sup, waddup, how far, awayu, gud pm, gud am” have replaced “how are you?, hope you are doing fine?, good afternoon, how is life treating you” in the vocabulary of the young ones. The age where people so familiar and accustomed with Facebook, IG, Twitter, BBM, WhatsApp don’t even know how to operate a computer or successfully type a letter. Whether formal or informal or even semi formal.

Gone are the days when buying and watching porn was “sacred”. The days where those in porn videos where actually paid for their services: porn stars. The days when porn was seen as a “man’s thing”. The days when it took a trip to the video shop and a sleek request for porn for the sales boy to unveil the hidden stack of porn tapes and cd’s. The days when porn was a man’s way of “relieving” sexual tension when his wife wasn’t around or having her monthly cycle. The days when porn was used by couples to learn new avenues for sexual satisfaction among themselves.
In this social media age, porn is no longer acted by porn stars. In fact porn stars are slowly going out of business because of the quest for homemade porn. Porn stars are given a run for their money by that boy and girl who happen to introduce a camera into the picture while having sex. Videos of guys and girls having sex in their rooms where unheard of in the pre social media era but have become a norm in this era.
Acquiring porn has evolved from cumbersome procedure of going to a video shop to simply having enough data on one’s phone and locating the right websites. Porn is readily available. Porn which was formerly seen as a “man’s thing” has transformed into an “everyone’s thing”. Girls are proud to flaunt their catalog of porn videos and pictures to anyone interested.

Gone are the days where young people actually improved themselves by visiting libraries, reading newspapers, reading books (novels, motivational and self improvement books), reading news journals and magazines.
This is the era where newspapers are collecting dust at newsstands and libraries are only visited by the elderly (too old-fashioned for computer based learning). Instead of reading a book a week, young people spend all their time chatting away their lives, distributing likes on IG, retweeeting tweets on Twitter, watching movies or sleeping (tired from the overnight sojourn into the social media world). Instead of reaching out to newspapers to get informed, blogs are the preferred destination and many of these blogs often publish mature content. Who are we kidding?

Gone are the days when people were social and acted responsibly around others. A couple of friends or family would sit around a table, have a few drinks or have dinner together bonding without any distractions.
The social media era has brought with it a bridge in communication. Instead of talking with one another, people are seen chatting on their phones.

Gone are the days where the youth were familiar with the political structure of their country. They had at the back of their hands, relevant information concerning their villages, local government areas, states, countries and even the World at large.
Nowadays, the youth are more familiar with who Kourtney Kardashian is dating, which celebrity has acquired the latest car or what recent pictures their favorite celebrity has posted on their IG page.

 

I could go on and on about social media, it’s vices and its detrimental effect on the World as we have it today but I bet you bored already and very eager to get back to the chat you left hanging.

Social media has been a revelation, don’t get me wrong. It has opened our eyes to the possibilities that lie ahead and make information available at the speed of sound BUT the above shows that without caution, social media could, would and is already eroding our social values and bastardizing our morals. We need to arrest this downward spiral before we give rise to parents our grandchildren would curse us for.

 

Put a stop to the brainwashing……

The Coolest Person In The World To Hang Out With………..

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Sometime in the summer of 2010, something happened that changed my perception of life and myself forever.

I was home and bored after finishing school and awaiting service when I decided to go out and have some fun.

I called a few friends to join me go watch a movie at the cinemas. All claimed to be busy or unavailable but one decided he could make it.

So I got ready and as I was about leaving for the cinema which was a little over 30 minutes, he called and said he wasn’t gonna make it any longer. He begged to take a rain check because he had a girl coming over and he couldn’t lose the opportunity by going to the cinema (guys will always be guys..lol).

I was devasted and was about getting undressed when it dawned on me I was the one funding the trip for the both of us and going alone was even cost effective. More popcorn and drinks for me..lol.

So I picked my sorry self up, got to the cinema, bought my movie ticket which came with a free popcorn and drink and entered the cinema hall alone and watched my movie.

While watching the movie, I was seated alone and was one of the most vocal at the theater. I had so much fun and ended up making friends with two cute girls seated just in front of me.

The movie ended but I wasn’t done. My day was just freaking getting started. I decided to see another movie, bought another ticket and got another free round of pop corn and drink. Got into the cinema and had another blast of excess fun. The cinema wasn’t as jam packed as the last movie but it was still hilarious. It think it was a Jack Black movie.

So the movie also ended with me in stitches with all the laughter I had just endured/enjoyed but the day was still young and going home so soon would be a disaster. “What do I do next?”, “watch another movie?”, I thought to myself. But I didn’t have enough money for another movie.

Then as I was stepping out of the movie theater, I noticed that there was no guard in between theater 4 where I was coming out from and theater 5 where another movie was been shown. Opportunity of life. I unapologetically sneaked my way into theater 5 dand continued watching the movie that was been shown. As luck would have it, the movie was just 10 minutes old. I couldn’t believe my luck.

I got out of the last movie, excited about my latest coup and the fun I had had all day when I stumbled upon an old friend of mine.

While reacquainting ourselves, she asked “so who did you come with?”, I replied “I came alone”.
I could see the surprise on her face, “you came to watch three movies all alone?”. “Yelzzzzz”, I said gloating.
“You are crazy”, she replied and we both burst out laughing.

From that day, I decided to enjoy my own company. The word “bored” was from henceforth banished from my mental dictionary.

Even when alone, I enjoy my company. I watch movies, I chat on social media, I read books, I watch documentaries, I write articles, I sleeeeeeeeep.
Long story short, I have fun with myself by myself.

I have gone to the cinemas alone.
I have gone to the bar, sat down, bought a drink with suya, enjoyed myself while admiring girls around.
I have gone to the club alone, bought drinks and flirted with a few single chicks in the club.
I have gone on a vacation alone, had excess fun, made friends and totally had a good time.

I have and continue to do things alone that people might find crazy but that’s me. I am my best friend. No one excites me more than me.
I consider myself an extroverted introvert. That kind of person that loves staying alone and enjoys his company but  when he goes out, he lights up the place.

Some people might consider me a loner, the antisocial type that prefers staying alone than the company of others. The type more concerned with myself and unbothered with others. Very far from it. The big differrence between me and a loner is that I tend to go out and have fun alone while involving others along the way.

Many people find themselves boring and get bored whenever they are alone. They tend to depend on other people to initiate the fun in their lives.

I need for you to change that perception. I need you to learn how to enjoy your own company alone. You are grand masterpiece. All you need to make you tick is you. You don’t need the permission or presence of anyone or anything (alcohol, skunk) to have fun. You have all the fun embeded in you. Just open up with little abandon and watch life’s riches unravel in front of you.

The coolest person to hang out with in the World is

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