LOVE: Using Your Weakness To Your Advantage

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Have you ever seen a man and lady that just met getting to know each other. They try as much as possible to display their positive and attractive features. From the start, when pictures are to be exchanged, they send their best pictures. Then they try as much as possible to portray a personality they believe the other person would like. No one ever meets someone and says “I get angry easily”, “I like money”, “I get suicidal atimes” or “I don’t respect men”.

So when people go into friendships and relationships with only their “good” traits on display, it’s all good for the first few days. They are still living in this love bubble that seems unending. They are so love struck that they think of the other person every single time. They gush about them to their friends. This is the “I am in love” bubble.

Then out of nowhere, the bad traits begin to seep out. She had a little argument with him over the DSTV and he flares up, raises his voice, breaks the tumbler on the table and storms into the bedroom. She is shocked. “What just happened?”, she thinks to herself. The love bubble is slowly being pricked.

The same loving and respectful girl has an argument with her father on the phone and calls him unprintable names. Her own father. Her new love struck boyfriend is shocked and can’t believe what he just heard. The love bubble is slowly being pricked.

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Permission to digress abit but please let me ask a quick question.

Why do people fall in love?
There are numerous answers and below are the few that come to mind:
* He makes me happy
* She is funny and full of life
* He treats me like I am special
* He is smart and down to earth
* She takes good care of me
* He is always there for me
* He is rich and provides for me
* She is God fearing
* He loves and adores children
* She is respectful.

As the above shows, folks tend to fall in love with people who display positive traits and make them feel good, special and appreciated.
This is all good because no one wants to stay in a relationship where he is not valued or loved.

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So the aforementioned love stuck guys are already in this love bubble filled with the good things about their partner but slowly their partner’s bad habits like a pin begin to nibble at the bubble to burst it.

Some relationships survive this test but only after a very testing time. Many others (in fact a majority of them) don’t. They struggle between reconciling their partner’s bad traits and their good habits. It is at this juncture you hear things like “he is so caring and nice to mean, I don’t understand why he slaps me when he is angry”.

I have a solution to this debacle. Instead of focusing only on the good things about you (things you know your partner would like). Why not tell them the bad traits about you (things you know they might not like and might struggle with accepting).

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When next you meet someone you like and feel you want to spend the rest of your life with, divulge the type of information that would scare them away now rather than later.

Tell him of how you slept with some guys in his neighborhood (because soon or later, he will find out and be hurt you didn’t tell him).
Tell her of how you turn into the HULK when you get angry and smash anything close by (so she understands and prays for you if she cares and not act all surprised when you pick her up and throw her across the room).
Tell him of the little beautiful princess you have out of wedlock (obviously he will find out soon about your daughter).
Tell her of your weakness for anything in skirt, how promiscuous you were but how you are trying to change your ways (so if she sticks with you, she is aware of what she is up against).
Tell her of your love for sex how you like to have it morning, noon and night (so she’s doesn’t act up when you ask her for the fifth round of the day).
Tell him about your runs girl days. The days you were wild and slept with anything for money but how you have turned a new leaf (so when and if he finds out, he wouldn’t dare hold it against you).

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It might sound absurd to tell someone you love, care about and cherish such bad and repulsive things about yourself but the true is they will find out one day. Isn’t it better they find out now and decide whether to stay or leave than to find out after a 5 year relationship and still leave?

If after divulging your secrets/bad habits to someone and they choose to leave. Simply put you just dodged a bullet. They don’t deserve you.
You don’t want to live your life in pretense or have someone that would accept your good and not the bad.

I once told a girl I liked about my  mood swings, temper tantrums and impatience. In her words “I can’t cope with an angry or sad person because it gets me sad too. I wouldn’t want to get rubbed with d same disease. I like myself happy and easy going”. Yes she used “disease” to describe my weaknesses. Imagine!!!….LOL.

She wanted to pick and choose. She liked and appreciated the good things about me but detested my weaknesses.  She failed to realize that I was the whole package. You either choose the whole me or leave the whole me. My feelings died a natural death afterwards. This happened within a month after meeting her thereby saving us both years of anguish ahead.

Take my advice people. Use your weaknesses to separate the wheat from the chaff. The serious from the flippant. Your weakness could be being broke, having no car, joblessness. If they leave, don’t beg them. Let them go. Anyone that stays really really cares.

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Binding The Opportunist Spirit in Women

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After work yesterday, I decided to give myself a treat. I was determined forgo my usual mama-put (local restaurant) ways and venture into the fast-food restaurant territory. I deserved it. So I got into the most expensive restaurant in the City (not Lagos or Abuja pls) armed with enough money to feed me at Mama Onome’s canteen for 4 days.

I greeted the beautiful petite security guard, entered the restaurant with a swag. You know that I-want-to-spend-my-money bounce. Then as if God wanted to bless me, I met a man I had worked with a few months back.

We exchanged pleasantries, I asked after his gorgeous new wife while he ordered for some assorted things that I knew deep down if I ordered would ensure I trekked home.
As the boss, I let him finish with his order while he encouraged me to toast the slender and cute young girl attending to him.
“Oga, she’s a fine girl o but…….” I tried to muster but he interjected with
“She’s tall and two of you would look good together”.

“Your food is ready Sir” sounded like music to my ears as the attendant saved me from further embarassment .

As he was about leaving, he made a comment/offer that forms the basis of this article. He said “so what do you want to eat, pick and I will pay”.
An offer that most Tom, Dick and Harry’s will gladly jump at. An offer every Jennifer, Justina and Jasmine will dive head first into.

“Who doesn’t like free thing?” some would say especially from someone I knew and had worked with. He had good intentions but without even blinking I politely declined his offer.

“Oga, thank you. Make I pay for this one. Use the money wey u bin wan use for me buy extra chicken for madam. Tell am say na me buy am” (roughely translated to mean “thanks for the offer, kindly buy something extra for your wife on my behalf”). I said with a smile and he laughed. We said our goodbyes and he left.

I thought to myself. I am the one that entered this restaurant with the I-want-to-spend-my-money swag and this man wants to use awoof (free gift) to spoil it for me. I worked hard for the small money I was about spending on myself and no one was gonna take away that sense of fulfillment I was bound to get when I wrap my jaw bones around that huge laps of chicken I was about buying with my money.

Most human beings are born to crave for free things especially the female folk. Society has built men differently, they are told to work hard for everything they have either legit or illegal. Even to have a girlfriend, a guy has to work hard not only to get a girl’s attention but to impress and keep her (more times than not, financially). No reasonable guy would appreciate/value a lady that fell on his laps. The kind of lady he didn’t labour for.

Ladies on the other hand from birth are built to receive, receive and receive. They not only receive compliments, they receive gifts from men, receive money, receive recharge card, receive attention etc.

You meet a girl you like and that’s when the opportunist spirit in her remembers she hasn’t payed her school fees, or that her house rent was due or that she needed a new phone. Many men are also opportunist in nature but women hold a Master’s degree in this aspect.

Enough already. Are you a tax collector? You take money/gifts meant for a married man’s children and wife to flaunt on IG. You take a hard working guy’s money in the name of love. You take advantage of a love struck girl’s emotions, sleep with her, brag about it with your friends and leave her heartbroken. Isn’t it time you worked for everything you got so as to get a feeling of satisfaction at the end of the day? Think about it.

Note: “Binding The Opportunist Spirit in People” surely wasn’t gonna get as much attention as “Binding The Opportunist Spirit in Women” would have. Forgive me ladies. Just selling my market. Nothing personal.

Anger and Alcohol: True Character Detectors

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The truth is that people pretend not because they have bad intentions but because they feel pretending to be something they are not is the only way to get something/someone they don’t deserve.

A guy could act all caring, nice, responsible, sweet and a perfect gentleman until he gets what he wants from a lady (usually sex or a relationship) and his true character comes out. The same generous guy becomes tight-fisted, the same calm guy starts flaring up at the slightest provocation. The same romantic guy cares less about your emotions when he wants sex.

A girl acts motherly, responsible, sweeps the house, takes care of you, greets your parents and siblings until she gets what she wants (usually marriage or money) and her true character shows. The same motherly girl isn’t bothered about what you eat and would rather order take away. The same courteous girl picks up a fight with your family at the slightest provocation.

The truth is that people pretend. It’s in their DNA but there are two pretense vanishing antidotes known to man: ANGER and ALCOHOL.

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ALCOHOL:
It’s no secret that alcohol has this liberating effect on human beings. It makes people bolder, freer-er and lighter. I hear people say “I was high, I didn’t know what I was doing”. That’s a very big lie. Highness is not a state of helplessness, being drunk is a state of helplessness. Highness is the state between normal senses and no senses (drunk state). Anything done in a high state is something the person had always wanted to do but wasn’t courageous enough to do it.

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So if your boyfriend slaps you and blames it on alcohol, act like you believe him and thank alcohol for revealing a future wife beater to you.

If your girlfriend sleeps with her boss and blames it on alcohol, don’t even act like you believe her. She’s always been thinking of sleeping with him, alcohol just gave her an excuse.

Pay attention to people when they talk but pay extra attention when they are high. Their brains would say their true feelings because they are too high to makeup, tell and remember lies.

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ANGER:
While going through my feed of daily news and gossip, I came across this very interesting gist by Ali Baba (the Nigerian comedian). The story is long but it has to do with this friend of Ali Baba’s. So the dude, let’s call him Jude has this babe, let’s call her Judith. Real life story. Stay with me.

So Judith heard a rumor from her friends that her boyfriend Jude had impregnated a girl. She got very ANGRY and instead of confronting her boyfriend, she decided to take matters into her own hands. She broke the driver’s side of the window of his G-Wagon with a flower vase and rained curses on him, abused his generation  and even said he’s lucky she didn’t poison him.

Below is a screenshot of her assorted insults.

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After her insult session, the truth came out and her boyfriend wasn’t the one that impregnated the girl in question. It was simply a case of mistaken identity.

Now she claims she’s sorry, she has been begging him to take her back, she even told her mother to beg for her and in her own words “if I did not love you, I wouldn’t have reacted the way I reacted”.

Below is a screenshot of her assorted apology.

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20160418_121636_EZRepost 4In the midst of her anger, her true character came out from hiding. That vicious, vindictive, destructive, insulting and jump-into-conclusion personality that she had kept hidden for years came out.

No matter how hard this dude prayed for a life partner, only a bout of anger was enough to reveal the true colour of his wife-to-be and helped him avert a life of misery.

Remember, when a guy slaps you or rains insults on you when he is angry/high, he just showed you his true character. Either flee for your life or stick with him forever but don’t act all surprised when he sends you the hospital with a broken jaw and damaged face.

Lastly, listen to people when they talk but pay closer attention to what they say or do when they are high or angry. That’s their true character. Trust me.

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Below is a screenshot on Ali Baba’s post on IG. Click HERE to read the post on http://www.misspetitenaijablog.com/

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Women Are Loosing Their Feminine Touch

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In this fast evolving World of ours, where women are gaining giant strides in their quest to be “equal” to men, they seem to be loosing their most important feature: the feminine touch.

Nowadays girls are more concerned with looking good to impress men and to oppress other women. Girls spend far more time on their phones and in front of the mirror than they spend in the kitchen. As a matter of fact women know more about the characters on Zee World and Telemundo than the ingredients and recipes in making different types of meals. Most girls know more about the price of weavon, makeup kits, human hair than they know about the price of food stuff in the market. A greater percentage of girls spend more on beautifying the container (the body) than they spend on beautifying the content (the character). Women spend more time “competing” with men that they spend “complimenting”.

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Gone are the days when a girl coming to a man’s house meant the house feeling her impact. She meets the house in disarray and leaves the house in all its valor and beauty. She would come into his house and cast her feminine spell. The house that looked neat would be transformed into hotel like look. The furniture would be given a feminine touch. The room would feel her presence. The kitchen would not be left the same way she met it. In fact, the whole house would crave for her next visit because she has that feminine touch that the male owner of the house will never have.

Nowadays, a girl comes to a man’s house and the only part of the house that feels her impact is the bed. She enters the house and the first thing she asks for is where to charge her phone so as to continue her gossip talk with her female friends. Then then asks for the remote control so as to stay in tune with her favorite shows on Zee World and Telemundo. Then she asks for food, eats and dumps the plate in the kitchen expecting the man to wash them. After she’s done eating, she sleeps off, wakes up, gets dressed, makes up and leaves the house without even the slightest courtesy of laying the bed.

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Don’t even accuse me of having an agenda against women because I love women but haven experienced my fair share of feminine-touch-lacking women, but it’s time I spoke up so as to nip this habit in the bud.

Does that mean a woman should turn to a house help for a man she’s not married to, wash his dishes, cook for him, wash his clothes, clean his house etc. Hell NO!

Men are rugged in nature, lazy to certain house keeping routines, lack proper coordination and often need some coaching to get their house in order.

Ever wondered why most cleaners in homes/hotels/offices are women? Simply because women do it better. Women are motherly and better coordinated.

Don’t be the lady that leaves a man the same way she met him. Be the lady that leaves him better than she met him. He must not be your boyfriend or fiance or toaster for you to leave your mark. In fact if you both are in a relationship, your care could be seen as pretense. A woman’s true character is seen when she has nothing to gain. No marriage, no relationship, no money, no affection. She just does it from the heart. He could be just a friend but be different. Don’t be the eat, charge phone, watch film and sleep type. Be different. Stand out.

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What Laying Your Bed Says About You

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Living alone for over five years taught me a valuable lesson and that is, a true person’s character isn’t in what they say or even what they do but a true person’s character/upbringing is seen in how they lay their beds after waking up.

This might sound absurd to some readers but before you pass judgment, here me out.

While growing up, my mother (don’t know about yours) would always drum the “lay your bed” mantra into our ears before we leave for school. She always made it seem like laying our beds was our meal ticket. Don’t lay your bed and go to school hungry and then come back to some strokes of her cane.

Laying one’s bed every morning before going out takes a very rare level of discipline. Laying a bed shows you value where you sleep, you look forward to taking care of it and best of all, you arrive home after a long day to meet your well dressed bed awaiting your embrace. Only if beds could talk, well dressed beds would speak of their admiration for their owners.

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Beds aren’t ordinary places where we tend to lay our heads, fall asleep to wake up the next day and move on.

Beds are the most significant furniture in the World even more significant than a desk. Whereas desks could be seen as where we get educated in school and where business deals are trashed out at the office.

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Beds on the other hand are where life’s greatest pleasures are achieved. From sex or love making as the case may be to exchanged kisses, mutual cuddles, warm hugs and sensual talks.

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Beds are also where life is born (the maternity bed where your mum gave birth to you). Where babies sleep so beautifully (the cradle). Where sick people are nurtured back to health (the hospital bed).

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Most importantly, beds are where all human beings go to in a bid to rest their brains and wake up refreshed. Where dreams are dreamt, ideas are born, tears are cried, broken hearts are healed and even prayers are said.

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Sadly, beds are also where most people depart this Earth to the World beyond.

The importance of “bed” cannot be overemphasized and the value of dressing it, making it feel special is often neglected.

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Just the other day, I traveled out for a work related meeting in a Southern Eastern State in Nigeria.
While checking out of my hotel room, I cleaned the room, arranged the furniture as I had met them, took out the trash, dressed the humongous bed and left. A few minutes later, I came back to collect the receipt for my stay at the hotel and the receptionist was gushing on and on about how clean my room looked. She asked if I stayed in the room at all. In her words, “I have never seen a room that clean after being used, even the cleaner could not believe someone had stayed in the room”.

There is nothing more disheartening than a guest that stays over in my house and doesn’t lay the bed before heading out. It’s a heartbreaking sight.

If you have the godly habit of laying your bed after getting up then kudos to you. If on the other hand, you spend more time on your looks before heading out and leave your bed looking grumpy. It’s time you make a change.

Remember, as you make your bed, so you will lay on it.

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A MUST READ: The Story of Hope That Brought Tears to My Eyes

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While going through the internet for my dose of daily info, I came across the true life story of this chap titled “They Mocked Me, But Now The Errand Boy Has Turned To A Big Boy” that literally brought tears to my eyes. A story of patience, calmness, perseverance, meekness, love, favour and God.

Note: It is a TRUE life story and it’s a bit lengthy but I assure you: it’s an amazingly great read.

Enough said, let’s jump right into it as told verbatim by the writer.

“Life is a journey and we never can tell who we meet on the way. My own case is slightly similar to that of Abraham in the Bible who came across an Angel. Unknowingly, he gave them bread and took care of them, that was where he was promised a child from God, and the rest is history.

My mom was an Akara seller who struggled to put I and my brothers through school. And life isn’t easy at all will all its short comings.

2014 after graduating from the university and awaiting my NYSC, I moved to Port Harcourt to join my uncle and his family. I started working in a Business center in Choba, close to Uniport pending till I go for my NYSC. Due to it’s a student environment and its 8am to 6pm, and the manager just started new in the area, I still managed the pay, N8,000. Customer response was very poor. Sometimes I do stay the whole day without any person coming to do any printing, photocopy or any job in my center.

This particular Wednesday afternoon after a rough morning. PHCN disconnected our power without no good reasons. So we were just left to use generator. Secondly, a man came and did a job without paying. It really hurts. I thought I had had enough that morning. Coming to afternoon, I was in the shop when a lady just walked in. the way she badged in sef was annoying. She was in a haste and looked angry. She asked if we have internet service. I told her we do. She said I should Google some works, do printing and photocopy for her. I just smiled. “My friend come and do this things for me, you are just looking and smiling like a goat,” she shouted at me. I was surprised because of her outburst as if I was her slave. I still kept my cool and calmness as I collected the work from her. “Don’t you people have A.C here?” she asked. I told her we didn’t. Na so she begin complain that other business centers have but it seemed we are so wretched. She couldn’t just understand why she was just raining curses on me. We have never met before neither has she been to our center before. I kept cool and told her not to worry that we would get A.C. I began her work. At a time she began complaining that I was too slow and I wasn’t getting the right results she wanted from Google and I was wasting her time. I looked at her and smiled and kept calm even when I was boiling inside me. I looked at her and told her to calm down that she will get what she is looking for. She began comparing our center with other big centers around Uniport. That if not because the other big business centers were full of people working she wouldn’t have come to our own. I began pleading with her to exercise patience. I even went as far as getting her refreshment when she said she wanted to get something to eat. I became the errand boy. After about 3 hours of work. After I don burn about 1gb of data and the printing and photocopies, she gave me N350. I tried to explain to her that her money was N2,750, but madam no gree. She said she wasn’t going to pay for the internet service because I didn’t get the actual things she wanted. And infact sef I don’t deserve to be paid. The thing pained me but I still smiled, trying to be friendly. But I no fit drag with her. I had to let go as she left. But she didn’t leave without telling me that I was useless in that shop, that my Oga should even employ another person. And she packed the work she said I didn’t don well. She carry dem go, and na generator I take run the work. To think she was very beautiful, young with that kind of attitude. I was really troubled when I got home. I felt humiliated but I still encouraged myself.

The next day, I was sitting in the shop when the troublesome woman that woman that didn’t pay me the previous day came in. I greeted her so well as if nothing happened the previous. And she replied me well, asking me how my night was. I was surprised, that was a woman that was abusing me, saying she won’t come to our shop again. Everything about her seems to have changed that day as she told me that her project supervisor approved and gave an excellent recommendation of her work, the one I help her with the previous day. I smiled in happiness. Na so she begin apologize for what she did the previous day. She said I should just forgive her because she had a bad day in her office and one of her kid was sick, couple with her pregnancy. She gave me money for the previous day and additional N1,000 for me. She went out and bought snacks for me oo. She asked me for my name and number. I told her I was a graduate and awaiting NYSC. She said I should call her mummy Nifemi. She asked why I didn’t even react when she was raining abuses the previous day, I was just smiling. I told her I am slow to anger. She said she liked my nature, that I know how to handle customers.

That was how became friends and she became a special customer. Infact she directed all her friends doing PhD and masters degree to our business center to be doing their works. Before we know wetin dey happen our shop don dey full with so many customers. Sometimes she calls me to come and collect work from her house to do for her. She introduced me to her husband sef and I became a very good friend to the family. Their family is very rich. Her husband works in a popular gas firm in Port Harcourt. They deal in supplies, marine gas. The company is owned by the husband, Daddy Nifemi.
Fortunately, when I printed my call-up letter, I was so surprised that I was posted to Rivers state. I was happy oo even though I wanted Abuja. Unfortunately, my uncle I was staying with was transferred to Abia state. He and his family moved to Abia while I began my PPA in Akuku-toru LGA. Even when I had stopped work at the business center, mummy and daddy Nifemi still keep intouch with me. Sometimes they do call me and I go to spend weekends in their house. At a time when am less busy, daddy Nifemi do take me along to work as his personal assistance (PA). He even takes me to oil rigs. After the outings, he would give me some money. They trusted me to the extent that I was part of the few they allow into their home and even stay with them. Sometimes I do leave Abonuma to Port Harcourt to bring back their kids from school. i help in supervising the cleaning of their homes. Sometimes they will give me money and some other times they won’t. I go just come back empty handed, but I didn’t care. My friends would laugh at me that am an errand boy. Dem go say na house boy and plate I dey wash for daddy Nifemi’s mansion.

One particular incident, I had withdrawn all my money and sent to my mom and siblings for upkeep and school. I barely had money on me. Daddy Nifemi invited me to their house for a paper work. I went and spent 3 days there and when I was coming back nothing was given to me. Even though I expected it but never saw, I was very broke. I managed to get to Abonuma to my friends laughing at me that my errand didn’t work that day. Dem say my errand for that day na in vein because I was not given money. Though I never complained because the Nifemis are trying so well for me. And I was doing everything for them from the bottom of my heart.
On the 5th of January 2016 after I had resumed to my PPA, daddy Nifemi called me that I should come to Port Harcourt immediately that he wants me to do something for him since corpers are yet to resume in their schools. Na so I go Port Harcourt. We went to an oil rig with his workers. After 2 days with him, when we got to his house in Port Harcourt. He said he has bought a new car to his fleets. He handed me the key to one his cars, a Honda EOD. He said I should take it, and the next day he would follow me to go and change ownership and paper works to my name. He also gave me an appointment letter that I have been automatically employed in his gas company. He said I should officially resume after my passing our parade (POP), but I will still be on salary for the remaining months of my service. He also gave me money for my project management program. I had once told him that I will be doing the course after my service. He gave me money and asked me to register immediately because I will use the knowledge in his company. I was so happy because I never expected it. One of the things he told me was that I am loyal and he had been watching me. He admired my approach to things.
Men and brethren, na so my life don change oooo. I am not telling this story to brag but to inspire us. I began to reminisce when I first met mummy Nifemi at my former working place. As she was ranting that day, what of if I had shouted at her? What of if I abused and chased her arrogantly from the shop? With her attitude, what of if I had treated her badly the way she did, she may not have returned back and I might not get to see her again. I might not have seen this kind of opportunity. I didn’t judge her from the attitude she portrayed that day, I still welcomed her the next day, which made us become close and now I am favoured. Now the errand boy has become the Oga. My life has changed. Na my friends wan start to run errand for me now”.

Reference:
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/1120-they-mocked-me-but-now-the-errand-boy-has-turned-to-a-big-boy

10 Types Of Men Every Lady Must Avoid

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1. Gum body: A few years back, there was this beautiful tall elegant girl I kept admiring in church and intended walking up to given the right time to say hi. The only problem was that she was always with this good looking fellow. Always. One didn’t need a fortune teller to tell you they were dating. So I just lost interest after a while.
Years after, we somehow became friends and I asked after her “boyfriend” and her reply shocked me. She said “I have been hearing the same thing in church, that me and him are dating because we’re always together. But we never had anything going on”. She then jokingly added “I think I need to stay away from him because it seems he is spoiling my market”.
Many girls have lost potential suitors because of the “gum body” mentality of some men. They tag around with a beautiful lady, act like something is going on and scare suitors away.  Ladies should learn to stay away from men that don’t say their mind, form padi-padi and just want to be around you for no clear reason at all.  They are show spoilers. Stay clear.

2. Mummy’s boys: It’s commendable for a man to love, adore and respect his parents especially his mother. Even the Bible says in
Ephesians 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise). That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth”.
This Bible passage is proof that a man who obeys and honors his mother is entitled to prosperity and a long life.
However there is a limit to the level of reverence a man accords his mother. A man that doesn’t do anything or date any woman without seeking approval from his mother is a mummy’s boy and should be avoided. A man that would obey his mother all the time and inconvenience himself in the process is a mummy’s boy and should be avoided. A man that is not ashamed to say “my mother won’t let me marry a Yoruba girl even though I love her” is a mummy’s boy and should be avoided. A man that would tell his wife to apologize to his mother and never tell his mother to apologize to his wife is a mummy’s boy and should have been avoided. Mummy’s boys are nice and caring, trust me. But a mummy’s boy will forever remain a mummy’s boy and never be a wife’s man.

3. Daddy’s money boys: These are the men boys that have a knack for flaunting their parent’s wealth on social media. The sons of corrupt politicians or rich and influential business men. Instead of sitting their ass down, working hard to make a name for themselves. They lazy about flaunting their father’s cars in school, using their pocket money to trip girls, riding on their parent’s wealth to attract attention. Stay away from such boys.

4. Player extraordinaire: It’s no secret that men are polygamous in nature and it takes the grace of God, character and self control for a man to stay with a woman and remain faithful. Some cheat and later regret while others don’t even hide their promiscuity.
The type that play “test your luck” on Facebook with many girls using the same lines and wait for anyone that falls for the bait. The type that has more passwords on his phone than a CBN bank account. The type that goes behind your back to toast your friend. The type that drolls over any girl that passes bye. Those types with “sweet mouth”.
Players are bad boys and girls like bad boys but in the long run they either end of changing him into a good boy or end up heartbroken. The latter is always the case. Stay away from them.

5. Mr. Kiss and Tell: I remember dating this beautiful girl while in the University. She wasn’t only beautiful but she was very intelligent and most of all had this very voluminous God given milk production organs. I remember going out a few times with her and upon my return to the hostel, my annoying friends would surround me and be like “guy, gist us na, how does that girl taste?”. My reply would always be “none of your business, go and get your own…lol”.
Many guys would be tempted to bask in the “glory” of dating such a damsel and spill all the beans but I am not that kinda of guy.
As the saying goes, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. What happens between me and a lady, stays between me and the lady. Nobody has to know.  Sadly, not all men share this point of view. Many would proudly tell anyone who cares to listen of their escapades with Sade, Felicia and even Grace. Stay away from men that can’t keep their legs and their mouth closed.

6. Excuse maker: You know those kind of men that sit around and blame their misfortune on Buhari, lack of fuel, rising Dollar rate or even the epileptic power supply. The kind of men that never take responsibility for their actions and tend to blame everybody else apart from themselves when things aren’t going well. These are the professional excuses pushers. These men would blame you for their financial problems when they marry you. You know the “I was rich before I married you, but now look at me” kind of men. These are they.

7. People basher: I don’t know about you but I find it very discomforting when people speak of others behind their back. I wouldn’t give you the room to speak ill of anybody behind their backs. Not even someone I dislike. So when you see grown ass men, sit down and joblessly bash others. When you see a man speak ill of his ex like she was a street urchin. My sister, he has a loose mouth, no character and would readily speak ill of you tomorrow. Stay away.

8. Never speaks his mind: I grew up and realized that the way women and men communicate are very different. Men are known to be vocal and say their mind through their words. Women on the other hand aren’t so vocal and tend to speak their mind through their actions. So therefore, a girl likes a guy but she would never come out straight. She tells him her mind through her actions like calling him, spending time with him etc. However, when a man hangs around a woman for too long and begins acting like a woman by not saying his mind through his words but through his actions then something is wrong. A man should be able to state categorically what he wants from a woman within a specified time frame and not keep her guessing. If he keeps playing dumb, stay away from him. He is either confused or not courageous enough to say his mind. Signs of a boy.

9. Doesn’t like children: The love I have for children is literally unquantifiable. Simply put, children make me happy and I’m sure the feeling is mutual. This love gives me the patience and tender care to talk to them, advice them, scold them, encourage them and love them as tender as their age deserves. But when a man doesn’t like children (I don’t mean his kids, other kids). He doesn’t have the patience to deal with them, in fact he doesn’t even know how to handle or talk to kids. It’s a big turn off and that’s a major sign of a man that would shift all the responsibility of parenthood to his wife. Such man would be content with providing money for the family but never hands-on in the upbringing of the children.

10. Mr. Masculine: You know those sort of men that believe a woman’s place is in the bedroom and in the kitchen. The kind of man that would get envious when his woman gets a good paying job. The sort of man that gets insecure when his woman earns more than him. The kind of man that never encourages his wife to be better than she is. The kind of man that converts a certificate holding woman into a house wife. Stay away from such men.

 

Bonus:
11. Woman beater: If a man beats you and you remain with him because “you love him” then OYO is your case (in Clara Ikemba’s voice. A role played so well by Nollywood’s Rita Dominic in the movie “The Meeting”). You will soon be looking as “beautiful” as her character in the movie. Lol

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