When Girls Behave Like Babies

My colleague walked into the office today and with a stern looking face wished the guy undertaking his IT in our firm a “Happy Children’s Day”. The young man looked perplexed and seemed too ashamed to reply with a  “thanks”. 

“Are you not a child?”, my colleague enquired. “Aren’t you someone’s child?”. He continued. The IT boy looking rather embarrassed replied “yes I am someone child so only my parents are allowed to wish me children’s day”. 

The colleague unrelenting continued “so your girlfriend calls you baby so she can wish you a happy children’s day? too right”.

Laughter filled the air and it’s with this premise that I wish everyone reading this post a “Happy Children’s Day”.

So it’s another Children’s day celebration and in my own humorous way I have decided to highlight five different ways men and women act like children. Let’s begin with the ladies. So guys sit back and enjoy.

1. Crying: Growing up as an African child, crying was a part of our daily routine. It’s either our elder ones bully us out of the big meat or mummy slaps some sense into out heads. But getting older as a boy I realized that crying wasn’t a “manly” thing to do. I remember the days in school when the teacher would call us (the stubborn empty headed gang) out for making noise in class and proceeded to flogging us in front of the class. It was like a “taboo” to cry. We would “chest” the beating, form big boy to get the approval of the girls in class. Woe betide any boy that cries. 

On the other hand girls seemed to relish crying. It was like a contest to see who cried the most. I grew up thinking as girls got older, they would outgrow this habit. I was wrong. Girls cry, ladies cry, women cry, grandma’s cry. Crying is a part of the female metabolism. I hear it helps them cool down, helps let go of the pain or enjoy the joy but as the case girls act like kids by this attitude.Slow down would you? Lol

2. Teddy bear: I grew up with an amazing younger brother and we lived football. There was no week we wouldn’t ask daddy for N80 before he lives for work to buy felele ball (rubber ball) to play “monkey post” in the compound. We were either playing soccer or chasing after lizards or playing crown cork football (only men that enjoyed their youth will know this legendary game). 

The girls on the other where either gossiping with friends, playing the “husband and wife” game or playing with teddy bears. 

I grew up now as a man and have outgrown playing crown cork football, playing monkey post and other child like frivolities but to my uptmost amazement girls/ladies/women haven’t outgrown their love for teddy bears. It seems their quest for companionship encourages this “interesting” relationship with an inanimate object like a teddy bear. Life. 

3. Providee: I would never forget my childhood crush, the thing that made me go gaga, the thing that made my day, the thing I wouldn’t give up for anything: McVitie’s Short Bread biscuits. I loved this biscuits more than life itself. Then the day that turned my life around. Daddy refused to give us money to buy the biscuits and I swore under my breathe as the 8 year old boy I was that I was gonna be so rich that I would buy a room full of them. My love for those biscuits have dwindled with time but my “ginger” to work, make money and be my own man has only grown broader wings. 

Most men if not all are in this bracket. Men want to work and make enough money to take care of themselves and their family. 

Girls on the other hand (minus a few) are more concerned with getting a rich man to take care of them than becoming a rich woman to take care of themselves. As the child I was, girls don’t want to get their own shortbread, they rather get it for free.

4. Hugs: “When I come home, my daughter will run to the door and give me a big hug, and everything that’s happened that day just melts away.” A quote by Hugh Jackman. 

Hugs are children’s not so subtle way of showing love. This is one of the reasons they make so many friends. 

Men on one hand outgrow hugging. Even when a guy wants to greet his friend, he wouldn’t dare hug him. They shake and give that “hand in front hug”. A guy only feels comfortable hugging a girl or his mother or sister. 

Ladies on the other hand are serial huggers. They can hug for Africa. A girl hugs anything that has breathe. From children to guys to fellow girls to parents to lecturers to gate man. As babies, girls never outgrow hugs.

5. Pads: I asked a friend whose wife recently gave birth to their first kids (twin girls) how it was being a father. He replied with a smile “Amazing apart from having to buy Pampers for two babies at the same time”. 

There is nothing more expensive in taking care of babies than buying baby pads until they are old enough to handle their effluents. 

As faithful as God is, he made men capable of outgrowing pads. Girls on the other hands aren’t so lucky. They might outgrow wearing baby pads for a few years but would ALWAYS end up enduring a few long years of sanitary pad use. Not to worry, they would outgrow that too in their 40’s. These are times being a guy isn’t that bad. Lol

6. Report: I remember playing with a baby’s toy and unintentionally spoilt the poor thing. The way she stood up and reported me to her dad, you would have thought I bashed her head against the wall. Babies would report any form of injustice against them. They are aware of their “power” limitations and expect a “higher power” to fight on their behalf.
A girl would report anything she seems reportable to her friends, boyfriend, mother, sister. Literally anyone that cares to listen.
“You need to have seen how Sandra spoke to me in the office today. She has no respect”. Women..lol

7. Jealousy: Every child wants to have what another child has. You are prone to seeing a baby get jealous when her sibling has a toy she likes but doesn’t have. The parent would be forced to more or less get the exact toy or something similar for her so that peace will reign in the house.
Women are yet to outgrow this habit. A girl sees a dress/hair/shoe on another girl and likes it. Instead of simply admiring, she silently vows to get the same thing. Who suffers?
The man (father/boyfriend/toaster/husband).

8. Oppression: A child is ready to rub anything worth rubbing in the face of his friends. Is it his new school bag, expect him to wear it all the time to show-off. Is it her new Barbie doll? Expect her to clutch it any and every time. Is it his new toy car? Expect him to show it off whenever his friends come visiting. Babies show off.
Girls do too. Girls show off practically everything. Hair, clothes, shoes, car and even a rich or cute boyfriend.

9. Baby wipes: The fact that ladies use baby wipes used to clean a baby’s tender ass for their face as a form of makeup removal scrub is astonishing. I need not say more.

The Bachelor Life: The 8 Types of Bachelors (Part 2)

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After discussing the added pressure a bachelor faces by attending weddings in the first episode of our Bachelor’s Life series, click HERE to read. We began the new series “8 Types of Bachelors”, click HERE to catch up. Let’s continue from where we left off.

5. Deputy Chief Bachelor (34 – 37 years):
The fifth stage of bachelorhood and the first real pleasure laden stage. It’s at this stage that parents get worried and start asking questions. It’s at this stage that you mum would call you from nowhere and invite you to your younger cousin’s wedding as a way of indirectly passing her “get married” message to you. It’s at stage that any girl your mum sees you with gets scrutinized from head to toe. She keeps telling herself “I hope this is his final bus-stop. I like her, she’s nice.” At this stage, a guy still living with his parents should be taken to one of the churches along Lagos-Ibadan Expressway for deliverance.

For Girls: Be warned, guys are this stage are the baddest players. They have the coolest bachelor pad, the bad ass rides, the gorgeous suits. They are the ones that spend the most in the clubs. They have enough to spend and no family to spend it on. The catch here is that at this stage, he has a serious girlfriend he is still watching (to know if she’s the right one) while also playing around with other money/marriage hungry girls. Be careful not to be one of his side chicks.

6. Chief Bachelor (38 – 40 years):
At this stage, a man has officially forfeited two things: The right to have a grown up child at his 50th birthday and the right to retire early (he has to keep working till around 70 to fend for all his children). Very pitiful.

For Girls: Dating a Chief Bachelor is like dating the guy every girl wants but can’t have. Girls just meet a guy at this stage, chop, clean mouth and go and marry a serious guy. Very pitiful.

7. Bachelor General (41 – 48 years):
This is the stage a man’s parents begin invoking spiritual curses on anyone that is causing the marital delay of their son.
A man at this stage has either been heartbroken by someone he intended marrying or is not just a serious human being. Any man that chooses to be 70 years old when his first child is just finishing school is not serious.

For Girls: At this stage, he is desperate so just get pregnant for him and he will marry you. Only if guys were wired to work that way..lol. On a serious note, the only girls allowed to marry such am elderly bachelor are girls knocking on the menopause door or money hungry girls. You are young and you marry someone this “old”, just remember he will die before you, the older he is now, the more years you will spend as a widow. Marry a young man Miss young lady.

8. Field Marshall (49 years and above):
These are the godfathers of bachelorhood. The ones that even their parent’s have given up hope on. I pity the parents that have such a man as the only child. The dream of seeing their grandchildren is like dreaming of buying fuel in Nigeria at N50/liter. Not impossible but highly improbable.

For Girls: Please don’t. He is a single sugar daddy. Just don’t.

The Bachelor Life: The 8 Types of Bachelors (Part 1)

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After discussing the added pressure a bachelor faces by attending weddings in the first episode of our Bachelor’s Life series, click HERE to read. In this installment, we are going to be describing the 8 types of bachelors.

1. Bachelor 1 (20 – 22 years):
This is the first stage or often called the virgin stage of bachelorhood. As soon as a man capable of impregnating a girl quits his teenage years (13 to 19), he automatically becomes a bachelor. He is still a young inexperienced man still probably in school and leaving with his parents. He is incapable of getting married at this stage and is given a pass to “enjoy life”.

For Girls: Dating a guy at this stage and expecting marriage is like cooking a stone and expecting it to turn to meat. Marriage is as far from his mind as telling the truth to the devil.

2. Bachelor II (23 – 26 years):
This is the second stage of bachelorhood and the stage where a young man starts to fight for his independence. He is about finishing school or just completed service and has to learn the ropes of fending for himself. Only a handful of guys get married at this stage, maybe 5 in 100. Any man that marries at this stage is either the son of a rich man, got his girl pregnant or just a remarkable young man (I envy him).

For Girls: If you are eager to get married, please don’t date a guy in this stage unless you guys are childhood sweethearts. Please leave him to make a name for himself. Marriage is not a plate of beans. You know how much ordinary Pampers costs?

3. Senior Bachelor (27 – 29 years):
The third stage of bachelorhood is the most critical stage. It’s at this stage that a man starts getting the “when are you getting married” stares from relatives. He is knocking on the door of 30 and at this stage should have a stable source of income and has moved out from his parent’s house. For those working in the same vicinity as the family house, no need moving out yet but start making plans. You are getting too old and being unable to bring girls to the crib (often referred to as the bachelor pad or slaughter house) is a sad sight.

For Girls: At this stage, being in the same age bracket as your Senior Bachelor boyfriend is an added layer of pressure to yourself. You need to exercise plenty patience. If you can’t, move on because you are gonna be frustrated.

4. Principal Bachelor (30 – 33 years):
The fourth stage of bachelorhood is the “keep deceiving yourself” stage. It’s at this stage that guys swear that they will get married but with every news of a broken celebrity marriage, with every failed relationship, with every money problem, with every fuel increase comes additional excuses.
Most bachelors are this stage are excuse manufacturers.
Suffice to say that this is the most ideal stage to get married and the most common age bracket for the transition from bachelorhood to married life.

For Girls: Dating a guy before he enters this stage, behaving yourself, working for your money and faithlessness is the gateway to getting that ring. He is ready, trust me. He is just making sure he dots the i’s and crosses the t’s before proposing. Give him a reason to doubt you and expect him to delay and delay until temptation will lead you astray.

Click HERE to continue Part 2:
5. Deputy Bachelor (34 – 37 years)
6. Chief Bachelor (38 – 40 years)
7. Bachelor General (41 – 48 years)
8. Field Marshall (49 years and above)

The Bachelor Life: The Added Pressure of Attending Weddings

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Gone are the days when a young man could attend a wedding with peace of mind. The days one could just go to a wedding, without a care in the world, enjoy a plate or two of the World famous jollof rice, take a few shots of wine, meet fine chicks, take pictures, collect souvenir, head home, sleep and wake up the next day like nothing happened.

A young man can’t be knocking on the door of 30 like I am and be able to attend weddings without added pressure. Like the rising cost of food items, dwindling Naira, faltering economy and the recent N145 price of fuel wasn’t bad enough. Can a young man breathe?

Attending a wedding for a bachelor of my grade has shifted gear in the following ways:

  • Attending a relative’s wedding means daddy, mummy and those nosy Aunties and Uncles would go about with that annoyingly depressing “when are you inviting us to yours?” line and you have to fake that smile and say “soon ma”. Mind you, soon in a bachelor’s dictionary is a time frame between two years and ten years. Let them keep asking, I will keep ‘soon-ing’ them.
  • I attended a wedding of this 40 years old groom and his 21 year old bride and I was jealous. I thought to myself, this dude is so lucky. By the time he is 60, his wife will be just 41 years old. So he is getting older but his wife is still young and fresh. Lucky bastard. So let’s assume I am 30, if I have to enjoy such privilege then I have to marry a 11 year old girl. Isn’t that illegal? So can I at least wait till I am 40 so I can marry a young wife and not marry someone that at old age we would be using walking stick together. Gosh.
  • Nowadays attending a wedding as the old man they make me feel and being gainfully employed comes with the added pressure of spraying money or at least giving the couple a heavy envelope. So a young man can’t just come and eat and go?
  • There is nothing more intimidating that watching your friends getting married and leaving you in the bachelor zone. Or there is something more intimidating, when this friend is younger than you (that’s when you will ask yourself by yourself “bros when are you getting married?”). Then to make matters worst, the young friend getting married isn’t even as financially buoyant as you are. There goes the “I want to make money before I marry” excuse. Damn.
  • Oh lest I forget. The ex girlfriend you jilted or broke up with is getting married. Then the next ex. Then the next ex. Is something wrong with me? To add insult to injury, those friends that knew you guys as a couple way back in school oblivious of her marital status would be like “Ehen, how far Jennifer. You guys still together?”. Only if they knew Jennifer is married with two kids. Is at that moment network gets bad. “Bros I can’t hear you, network is bad. Let me call you back”. Idiot, be there asking stupid questions that don’t concern you.
  • “Daddy would buy it for me” was the excuse a young boy would give when invited for a relative’s wedding and told to buy asoebi. Now, a young man is expected to spend N10,000 on asoebi material, spend money sowing it, buy fuel and transport himself to the wedding, spray money, eat jollof rice with one meat and end up taking a cup and plate as souvenir. Comon, business people, is that a good investment? Please marry, I don’t have to attend. Do I?03ddde2f1950f761c672be962310d79e
  • Gone are the days when a bachelor could attend a wedding and not notice the deco, cake, asoebi, food, MC and the likes. Now any serious bachelor has to take note of such “trivial” things because it will soon be his turn. He needs to take the good points of each wedding attended, combine them to make his great.
  • A young man used to be able to attend a wedding, notice a few fine chicks, get a few pins and numbers and call it a night. Nowadays, you attend a wedding and you are either bombarded with “the bride’s sister or her bride’s maid is not married yet” statements from well meaning friends. Then one has to deal with single girls going desperate with their cleavage busting, fresh laps showing dresses. This is too much pressure.
  • Then the married folks have the audacity to form senior brother. You know that look married folks give single folks like us at weddings. That “this was me and it could be you too” look. Bros, please let me be. God’s time is the best.
  • Lastly and for those dumb enough to go to a wedding with their girlfriends. This is a lose-lose situation because if you act so jovial and happy at the wedding, she gives you that “aren’t you ashamed of yourself, we are supposed to be married” look. If you look quiet and reserved, she gives you that “maybe seeing his friend get married is making him think about getting married soon” look.  Then if God wants to punish you, the MC discloses that the newly married couple met each other just last year and you and bae have been dating for 5 years. Expect a very long quiet drive home brother.

 

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READ: “The 8 Types of Bachelors”. Click HERE and HERE

The Single Mother Who Gave Birth As A Virgin

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I have always seen single mothers as very strong women. They might have made mistakes (like everyone of us) but from a cynics point of view, their mistake (the unexpected baby) lives with them forever and keeps getting bigger. These are women who have turned their “mistakes” to blessings. These are the women to who I dedicated my mothers day article to. A few of them reached out to me with nothing but praise for article. Click HERE to read “Happy Mother’s Day To The Forgotten Mothers”.

As it turns out, a friend who I never even knew was a single mother reached out and decided to share her story titled “A Single Mother Shares Her Heartwarming Testimony”. Click HERE to read how she delivered on the bare floor because nurses laughed her off saying she looked only two months pregnant whereas she was 9 months gone.

Another single mother reached out to tell her story. Unbelievable as it sounds but she actually got pregnant as a virgin. Below is an except from the conversation we had. I tried as much as possible to quote her verbatim so forgive any typographical errors and short hand styled words.

 

Kemi (not real name): I have read the “Happy Mother’s Day To The Forgotten Mothers” article and I have never felt this celebrated. My son is here asleep on my chest. I am sure if he understands what you just did, his heart will bless you. God bless you for this.

 

Me: You are loved and appreciated dear. God bless you too. On second thought, I think you should tell your story. I am sure it will help so many people and make people feel a pinch of what you girls go through. Please start from scratch. I will ensure your identity is protected.

 

Kemi:  I was fresh in school, I made some frnds from fellowship, my frnds frnds and all. Anyways I met a particular funny youngman who caught my fancy. We started dating after bin frnds for a year. We started dating wen I got to 200lvl. While we dated we engaged in heavy romance but never had intercourse.

Along the line I noticed some traits I couldn’t cope with and decided to call it quits. I wanted to break up with him face to face and told him to come over to my place only to discover I was pregnant the next day. I was only 19. I told him and he totally denied which was quite understandable. The hymen wasnt pierced. Yes we were messing around there but I never had d liver to have sex.

His mother adviced me to go abort it and all. I never even contemplated abortion.

My father ws sooo hurt cos im the last child and his favourite. He’s also a pastor so tht must have been quite dificult considering his reputation. My parents supported me even as dissapointed and hurt as dey were.

On the day of delivery, my hymen was finally broken on the examination table while in labour. Like I got pregnant as a virgin. I was cut open when I couldn’t deliver d baby myself.

Tru out the pregnancy and childbirth his father wasnt there.

Wen I gave birth they showed interest but didnt take responsibility for his care and welfare and for yrs now I havent even heard from neither his father nor his family.

I work hard to support my parent to care for him. Thank God for God and my parents.

 

Me: Wow. Very surreal. So how does having a baby affect your relationships?

 

Kemi: Some guys run @ d mention of baby while some stay but do not wish to take u serz

Some want u bt cant handle d baby ish. But others stay and love you.

Infact I am with a great guy who loves me nd my son.
Me: Any advice for people (those that tend to judge single mothers unfairly), parents who find out their daughter is pregnant, parents whose son impregnates a girl and lastly for girls that unexpectedly gets pregnant.

 

Kemi: For those that judge single mothers, stop judging, you dont knw where the shoe hurts until u wear it. For parents, stand by them! Yes chastise them for it but stand by them. They need you the most at such a vulnerable time. Dont lose the chance to be your daughter’s hero/heroine. For guys who get girls preg be a man! Take responsibility, sometimes its not about financial responsibility alone, be there for them. Love your child. And for parent whose son impregnated a lady,imagine she ws your daughter. Whatever happens care for them. Its a better way to teach your son to be a better man for his son. And for the girl that gets pregnant out of wedluck, yes you made a mistake, dont make another one by taking the baby’s life. Stand up to and face your mistakes. It’ll help you be a better mother and teach your children to learn from your mistake and not theirs.

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A Single Mother Shares Her Heartwarming Testimony

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I have always seen single mothers as very strong women. They might have made mistakes (like everyone of us) but from a cynics point of view, their mistake (the unexpected baby) lives with them forever and keeps getting bigger. These are women who have turned their “mistakes” to blessings. These are the women to who I dedicated my mothers day article yesterday to. A few of them reached out to me with nothing but praise for article. Click HERE to read “Happy Mother’s Day To The Forgotten Mothers”.

As it turns out, a friend who I never even knew was a single mother reached out and decided to share her story. Below is an except from the conversation we had. I tried as much as possible to quote her verbatim so forgive any typographical errors and short hand styled words.

 

Rachel (not real name): Thanks 4 remembering we d single mothers. U rock.

 

Me: Sister Rachel, single mother khey? When did you born?

 

Rachel: I don’t tell piple but I am a single mother. I av a kid who is now 12 years old. 1st love gone bad tinz.

 

Me: So we have been friends this long and you never told me this part of your life?

 

Rachel: I don’t tell if I ain’t being asked nah. Besides, our talk never reach dat side b4. Odawise I wud av told u

God’s been the one helping me look after her cos I sincerely dunno wat I wud do if He wasn’t there

Dats my story. A sweet one @ dat. Contemplated ending my life wen the man opened his mouth to say he wasn’t responsible n he accused me of sleeping around.

 

Me: Wow. This is unbelievable. Please how old were you when you got pregnant?

 

Rachel: 19 and then 2 months later I turned 20.

 

Me: The World needs to hear your story. I am sure it will help so many people and make people feel a pinch of what you girls went through. Please start from scratch. I will make sure your identity is protected.

 

Rachel: Okay. I met this guy when I was in my ND 1 @ Auchi Poly. He was an HND student. Nice, sweet, n all.

We dated and I fink then I was jes 17

Then wen we got to my ND 2, a girl showed up and I was told dey had bin dating since. But he told me he was done wit her and so we continued

I left skool cos of some challenges I had but we kept dating until wen I started hearing tins abt him. I ended the relationship only to realize few months later that I was pregnant

I was scared. I kept dat pregnancy a secret until I was in my 7th month. Dat was wen my parents became suspicious n dey took me to the hospital for a test

My parents’ reaction? Dey were angry wit me. My dad cried cos I was his fav. I was always the one used to make examples @ home wen someone does anything bad.

I was taken to abuja where my mum stays with the hope dat dey’d abort the pregnancy but the doctors said the baby was too big. Dey still didn’t know I was far gone in my preg.

Then I went into labour in Jan. I was taken 2 d hospital but the nurses laffed my parents off saying my pregnancy looked 2 months old n dat dey Shud take me back home

We were outside in my dad’s arms wen she fell off me and landed on her back on the bare ground. Nurses came n took her in

My pregnancy didn’t affect my work or school one bit. I had jes started @ d university while I was pregnant. My late stepmum was very supportive of me. She helped take care of Emmanuella (dats d name I gave her) while I went to work 2 weeks after giving birth n then back to skool 1 month after. I worked daily to provide all she needs even till dis day. Financially, nobody helps except God who provides.

Wen he was confronted, the guy said he still wasn’t responsible. His gf then @ skool came to d office to threaten me n I told her off.

The guy n I spoke n I made him swear to me dat even if we met outside dat we cud talk abt anything under d sun but he wud NEVER mention my kid. And he agreed and thus we parted ways. We are still friends till date. We say hello, we’ve hung out twice, met during events, etc. We are cool except if he tries 2 bring her name up. He’s married now wit 2 kids

As to how it affects my relationships, it doesn’t in any way. B4 I say yes to any man’s proposal to date me, I tell dem I av a kid and if dey don’t like it, dey can walk but none of dem has Eva tot of walking away

God’s bin faithful. After my stepmum died, my dad’s sister offered to help take care of her. She’s currently wit my aunty on the island where she’s bin since age 6

I jes look back n I thank God I never gave in to the idea of aborting the pregnancy cos everyday I watch her grow (a pure version of me) and all I can do is pray dat God helps me look after her so she doesn’t make the same mistakes I have made. For her to be a strong woman who ends up fulfilling purpose.

 

Me: Wooooooow. I have been blessed. Thanks for sharing love. God bless you.

 

Rachel: Thanks 4 giving me the opportunity to. Jes let dem knw dat while I don’t encourage pregnancy b4 marriage, if for any reason it happens, dey Shud never lose hope and even while pregnant, a plan B (in terms of finance) Shud be arranged. And FOR OUR PARENTS- dey Shud learn to give their full support…seeing my dad cry really crushed my heart. I contemplated suicide but wen my parents immediately started seeing her as a blessing, it became easy 4 me to heal.

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Happy Mother’s Day To The Forgotten Mothers

 

 

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A little over 3 hours ago, I found out that today was actually another mother’s day while listening to a radio station (sometimes I lose count with the numerous mother’s days).

Another Mother’s day comes with another opportunity to celebrate the angels we have in human form. The special set of human beings that carried us for nine months, went through the excruciating pain of labour, stayed up all night while her mates slept just to make sure we were well taken care of.

There are super women all around the world that need no introduction and should be celebrated every single day and even more so on mother’s day. Happy Mother’s day to everyone of them.

However……….

My mother’s day shout out this year goes to a special set of mothers. The mothers often get ignored when mother’s day celebrations are held due to the circumstances surrounding their pregnancy and childbirth.

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These are mothers who received the news of their pregnancy with tears of pain and regret instead of the tears of joy and expectation that women in committed relationships receive theirs with.

These are the mothers that contemplate abortion in a bid to hide the shame of having a child out of wedlock. The shame that would label them a family disgrace. The shame that could derail their education (for those still in school). The shame that would make getting married in the future an even more herculean task. Finding a suitable husband is hard enough without the tag of “single mother” hanging over one’s head.

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These are the mothers that are often denied the joy and euphoria that comes with carrying a human being inside their wombs. The mothers that are often denied the loving, comforting and caring support of the father of the child who in most cases absconds from his responsibilities, denies paternity or even blames her for not aborting the baby.

These are the mothers that are often denied the support system of their parents who brand them a disgrace for having a child out of wedlock and for bringing disgrace to the family.

These are the mothers that are often ridiculed in the society for their status as “baby mamas”.

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These are the mothers that in most cases get their lives disrupted and  dreams derailed due to the arrival of these unexpected bundles of joy (children).

The mothers that end up taking care of these children on their own with little or no financial help from outside.

But all in all…..

These mothers still love and adore their children every other mother does. These mothers endure the ridicule and shame to nurture these children and make sure they grow up with enough love to last them a life time. These mothers although haven their life dreams delayed make sure these children never have to go through what they went through. These mothers would work two jobs or extra shifts to make sure their children get everything they need.

Girls get pregnant and have first babies very early, before the age of 18. They become women when still too young, taking responsibilities as adults.

As we celebrate mothers around the world today, we should look at these “forgotten” mothers with love and most importantly: RESPECT.

For one could ridicule them for their mistake but as the Bible says “let ye that is without sin caste the first stone”.
For another could chastise them for having a child out of wedlock but at least they had the frame of mind to caste away the option of abortion (there is barely any sexually active girl that has never aborted).

To the single mothers out there. The forgotten mothers. The mothers that played and continue to play the double role of father and mother. Happy Mother’s day to you.slide_411226_5180060_free

 

Photo credit: Paolo Patruno for The Huffington Post. Click HERE to see Stunning Photos Of Teen Moms’ Struggles In Cameroon.