Truth or Myth: Husband and Boyfriend Snatching

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Ladies come closer. Oya draw your ears……

See eh. There is nothing like husband/boyfriend/sugar daddy snatching. A full grown man cannot be snatched. He is not a handbag in Balogun market.

Unlike your confused hormones, men are not confused. They always know what they want. Even while dating Aisha, Amanda, Atinuke, Abiye, Abasiobong and Amaka. A man knows who among them he is going to marry. Just remember. A man is never confused.

See eh. A man is dating you and maybe thinking of making it permanent and your friend goes to him and tells him you are promiscuous and he decides to end the relationship. Babes stop deceiving yourself. Even though your “friend” (frenemy) overstepped her boundary by disclosing your personal shit to the wrongest person. A man that loves and truly wants you in his life will ask you first and give you a chance to explain yourself. He isn’t holy himself. He leaves means he was not really sure of you, he just needed that one tangible reason to walk away, your village witch head just used your friend to give him that reason.

If he turns his attention to your friend. Brother has been eyeing your friend. He was not snatched, he went with the green light.

Your full grown husband that has been jumping up and down shouting I am your husband sees a hot babe like my girlfriend and come and tells her all the sweet nonsense she likes to hear and both of them (full grownups by the way) decide to engage in bedmatics. Then you tell your pastor that she snatched your husband or you beat her silly and strip her naked? So what will a grown man like me say about your husband? Girlfriend snatcher? Pluzzzzzzzzzzz.

Stop institutionalizing BS. All men do not cheat. The ones who cheat are those who really want to taste whatever is being offered by another woman.

Any man who wants you as much as you want him will never listen to stupid tales from people. Shey all the runs girls you know back in the days are mostly married. Shey it is coconut trees that married them abi are they not men. The men who married them know what they wanted and did not listen to story. Any man listening to story is a man who already is looking for an excuse to leave.

I was sitting with my friend. He is on my BBM list, someone sat him down and gave him a run down of all the men his fiancée had slept with. Said all the BS he knows. When he finished, my friend calmly told the story teller:

“Nwanna, nwata ka bu spec m (My brother, the girl is still my spec)”.

End of story. They are married today and it has been five years he has never complained to me.

Another friend (may his soul rest in peace) left his girlfriend that could die for him because of them said he said. This girl cried. I begged him then to marry the one he knows oh, he said no. The babe moved on, married someone else who heard all that story and did not care. My friend kept searching for a girl who will be like the one he left till he died suddenly.

Stop breaking your own hearts, any man who leaves was meant to leave. Any man who cheats wanted to cheat. It is not about you. Its all about him. He just wanted to do what he did. Simpulu (in Engilibo)

Grown men cannot be snatched, he made a decision that suited him. Don’t kill yourself over it. Don’t drink Sniper over it. Just cry and when you cry (obviously as women you will all cry). When you cry, don’t cry because you miss him, don’t cry because he hurt you, don’t cry because he wasted your time. Cry because God saved your ass from an asshole of a husband. Cry because he lost a jewel in you while picking stones. Then after a day or two of crying. Clean your face, wear your makeup, put on that gorgeous smile, straighten your crown and move on. Shake your bumbum while at it.

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Original article by: Amanda Chisom
Credit: www.lailasblog.com
Rewritten by: Kurtis Smith

When Men Allow Their Women Dress Naked

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Do I consider myself a jealous lover?

Partially, I must admit. Hold my girl’s hand for too long and you are not her father or brother, then you are inviting trouble upon yourself.

I am not that paranoid and definitely not the “monitoring spirit” type of guy.
I don’t go through my girl’s phone (never have, never will) because as the saying goes “what you don’t know will not kill you”.
I don’t pick her calls and ask the guy at the other end of the call “who is this and why are you calling my girlfriend”. I find that habit quite immature.
I don’t ask my girl who the guy she’s on the line with for 15 minutes is. What’s my business?
I don’t monitor my girl’s movement, I don’t have that time.

So would you consider me a jealous lover? No, right? Okay. This is why you might in one word “Dating me equals dressing modestly”

Let me expanciate…..

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Yesterday, at the BET Awards, Remy Ma (female rapper) caused quite a stir by wearing a raveciously revealing dress. It was as if her God-given assets were begging to jump out of her dress. To make matters worst, her husband (Papoose) was all smiles on the red carpet with her. It was as if her husband woke up, saw his wife’s scandalous dressing and said “yeah, baby. You look so hot. I can’t wait for the whole World to see what belongs to my eyes only”. Outrageous.

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Remy Ma’s husband is not alone in this very strange habit of allowing their women dress half naked to shows or events. The most popular culprits range from Kanye West to John Legend. Below are a few pictures of married men and their seductively dressed wives.

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So back to the issue at hand. The truth is that you can call me old fashioned but when I am with a woman, her body belongs to me. Not the paparazzi, not the public, not gossip columns and definitely not  Linda Ikeji’s blog.  I find it strange and bewildering that a man would allow his woman show off her body to the World. That’s just my believe.

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Meagan Good and her Pastor husband

Wait a minute. I know some feminists would come up with that “gender equality” line to prove why my position is wrong. They would likely say “a woman owns her body and should flaunt it the way she likes. It’s not a man’s business”.

Well, it’s kinda my business. She’s my woman. If she were to be single, she can walk around naked for all I care.

There are certain pictures my girlfriend knows she can post on social media. Pictures that show excess cleavage are forbidden. Pictures that flaunt her fresh laps are taboo. Pictures that advertize her “God-given” assets are not allowed.

Am I an African man with a archaic mentality? Well, maybe.

Am I simply old fashioned? I guess.

Am I a jealous lover because I don’t want people to view my woman’s body? Your guess is as good as mine.

Ladies Only: 20 Ways To Know He is Married

Married men are on the loose and are even more promiscuous than single guys. They attract a girl with attention, serenade her with money and then finish her with care. They are the ultimate hunters.

Married men are dangerous as I warn any girl that cares to listen because:
1. She is playing with physical fire (what if the man’s wife finds out).
2. She is also playing with physiological fire (what if she ends up falling in love with a married man and hopes he will leave his wife and marry her).
3. Spiritual fire (coming in between the God ordained union of marriage is digging one’s grave).

There are many repercussions for engaging in a relationship with a married man but this is not the place to discuss them. This article is not for girls that knowingly date married men but for those who are decieved into a relationship with a married man.

Its hightime ladies watch out for thr 20 signs below that indicate a man is married and stay clear.

1. Calls a certain time: Married men tend to call only during the day when they are at work and outside the reach of their wives. At night, they are home and wouldn’t want to be caught talking on phone. So if he tends to call only during the day and not at night. There is a big chance he is married or living with his woman.

2. One number man: Married men have multiples phones (as do most Nigerians). The difference is that the married man has a particular secret number that his wife doesn’t know about. He calls that the office line but that’s his “chicks line”. If he allows you call only one particular number. Something is fishy.

3. How he saved your number: It’s funny how people save contacts on their phones. From “Segun Mouth Odor” to “Felicia Flat Breasts”. Watch how a man saves your number and you are sure to know how important you are to him. If he saves your name with ” Angelina baby”, then chances that you are special. But trust me, no married man would save his girls number glowingly. Expect to see “Angelina Ikeja” or at worst “Angelina Cleaner” just to avoid his wife’s suspicions. How did he save your number?

4. He is always busy: Married men tend to be too busy when his girl calls (maybe his is presently with his wife). Married men have a knack for saying “if you want to talk to me, flash me and I will call back when I am free”. This is a ploy to avoid you calling at a very wrong time.

5. The baby picture: No matter how promiscuous a man is, he loves his children. Married men have pictures of their children on their phones but always claim the child is his niece of nephew. The World’s greatest Uncle? Be smart girl.

6. Ring mark around their finger: Most married men don’t even hide their marital status and flaunt their wedding bands while asking a single out. For others, they don’t even wear their wedding bands. Nigerian men don’t like wearing wedding bands, it’s the women that carry wearing wedding ring on their hand.
But for the very few that wear their wedding rings and remove it to ask a girl out. A finger would always indicate a mark when a ring is removed. Be smart enough to check his wedding finger for any such clues.

7. Family is off limit: Married men would never allow his girl come into contact with any member of his extended family (parents and siblings). You have asked to meet his sister but he keeps making excuses. Beware.

8. Always well groomed and fed: Single bachelors mostly live alone and either do the laundry themselves or use the services of dry cleaners. As for cooking, a few cook themselves (myself included, pls don’t hate..lol) but most have someone (a cook, sister, girlfriend) that cooks for him.
But this man you like always eats at home, always steps out in clean and ironed clothes, very well groomed and looking daper. My sister, a woman is responsible. His wife. Beware.

9. Very caring and romantic: The truth is that married men are more romantic than single guys. Reasons differ for this phenomenon but their experience being married goes a long way in grooming their romantic side. If he is very romantic and always caring doesn’t mean he is married but if he has a few of the above pointers, he is married sister. Flee.

10. Present minded: A married man has no future with a single girl and doesn’t hide it. A single guy could be tempted to discuss his future plans with a girl but a married man dares not bring it up. If she brings it up, he stylishly brushes it aside or lies through his teeth.

11. Public places are off limit: You know how you go to a place like the cinema and run into friends? Same thing happens to married men so it’s gonna be disastrous for him to run into his brother-in-law at the cinema with his babe wrapped around his hands. Hence married men avoid public places. If they have to go public, then a night club or the beach (at night) is the best option. It’s too dark to really identify faces. Be wise.

12. House is off limit: Married men are considered romantic because they take their girl on trips while bachelors invite their girls home. It’s for a reason. Married men don’t want their girls to know where they live because their family (wife and children) live there also. So he tries as much as possible to avoid taking her home so he forms romantic and takes her out.
If you both always have your sexual romps in hotel rooms. He is married.

13. The arranged house: A married man hardly invites a girl over to his house but when he does, it’s either his wife and/or kids have travelled. But when that happens, these are few things to take note of in the house.
i. Set kitchen: A man with a well set kitchen with microwave, fruit squeezer, deep freezer, well stocked food stuff is either the most kitchen savvy bachelor I know or is a married man.
ii. Locked wardrobe: A wardrobe where his wife’s clothes and accessories are locked away from your prying eyes.

14. ABORTION: Having a child from another woman spells disaster for a married man so forget the option of having a baby for him (except he is child less). Tell him you think you are pregnant and see his reaction.

15. Always travels: Married men are regular travellers. If they leave in the same city with their family, they would always cook up reasons to travel out like work or business related excuses.

16. No strings attached spending: Only a married man would have the patience to spend on a girl and not expect immediate return (sex/relationship). Bachelors don’t have that patience. If all he does is spend spend spend, it’s not cause he is nice and caring. He is a married man.

17. Married/Elderly friends: “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are” is a popular saying but often ignored when it comes to real life situations. A girl sees a so called single guy always hanging out with married pot belled men and you believe he is not married. Wake up child.

SPECIAL CASE:
There are many cases where married men marry and leave their wives and family in the country to work outside or leave their wives and family abroad to work in the country and visit occasionally.
In this special case, most of the above won’t work because their wives aren’t around and they could actually act like bachelors and get away with it.
In this case, only numbers 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 12, 14, 15, 16 and 17 can be used to catch him.
But another and most important way to catch such a man is:

18. International number: A man that regular makes or receives calls from a particular international number is hiding something. Find out who the person at the other hand is.

19. International travels: A man that regular travels outside the country on personal trips has something he is hiding.

20. International money transfer: He isn’t a yahoo boy but constantly sends money abroad. Something is fishy. Find out if he is actually importing something or he is sending money for the upkeep of his family abroad.

NOTE: Not all these 20 rules might apply to a married man but if only 5 do, he is married. Trust me. RUN.

Sex: Age is Not Just A Number

A few months back, an international footballer Adam Johnson (a former Manchester City and Sunderland FC player) was found guilty of sexually touching a 15-year-old girl and was sentenced to 6 years in jail.

To sum it all up. The footballer who is just 27 years old and was being payed £60,000 (about N24 million) per week has had the following travails for his offense.
1. He was dumped by his sponsor Adidas for admitting to sexually grooming the underage girl.
2. He was sacked by his club for admitting the same charge.
3. His girlfriend whom he has a child with and he was cheating on while she was pregnant has ended the relationship with the troubled star.
4. He has lost the respect of the footballing community, his family, friends, colleagues and the World at large.
5. He was sentenced to 6 years in jail.
6. His footballing career is over because as at when he comes out of jail, he will be too rusty and no sensible club would even employ him.
7. He is forever tagged as a child-sex offender.

So he smooched and kissed a 15 year old girl (UK’s age of consent is 16 years old) and he was jailed. Not for having sex with her. Just smooching her.

Let’s come down to Africa and Nigeria to be specific. The age of consent is 18 years but cases of sexually active teenagers under 18 years abound.

While conducting a research, I asked a few people to fill a sexually related questionnaire with “age of first sexual experience” among the questions asked. I realized that many girls were disvirgined before they clocked 18 years by mostly men above 25 years.

Not surprising is it?

I was having a conversation with a colleague who is actually above 40 years. He told me of his taste for young girls. To defend his actions, he said “most girls are more mature than their age. When it comes to girls of nowadays, age is just a number. Even the younger ones are most experienced and better in bed than older girls”. I tried hard to hide my disgust but it seemed the respect I had for him depreciated after he made such deprecating comments.

Africa is a land where most men have sex with anything that has a vagina and claim that age is just a number.
Africa is a land where a man would get married to a 14 year old girl and claim his religion permits such defilement.
Africa is a land where men would have sexual relationship with a girl younger than their youngest daughter.
Africa is a land where sexual relations with a child is not penalized.
Africa is a land where men take advantage of young ignorant attention seeking girls without a penalty.
Africa is a land where a man has sexual relationship with his own daughter and blame it on the devil and goes scot free.
Africa is a land where children are at the risk of being raped even more than adults because of their vulnerability and innocence.
Africa is a land where a girl is blamed for being raped because she wears skimpy clothes (if that’s the case, are the babies been raped also wearing skimpy clothes?)

If a popular footballer in the United Kingdom could be jailed for 6 years for kissing and smooching a girl just one year younger than the age of consent (not even having sex with her) then its time for Africa to wake up and put laws in place to stop evil paedophiles from preying on the innocence of our daughters.

To the men. With sex, age is not just a number. If she’s under 18, no matter how big her breasts look or how enormous her backside is: she’s a minor and still a child. Stay clear. Go and toast your mates. Be warned

NYSC Camp: The Most Amazing 3 Weeks Of My Life

“Guy, posting is out, go to school and check yours”, he said over the phone.
This was the call I had been waiting anxiously for and sometime in early 2011, it came.

I had tried working my posting to Rivers State with the promise of a favorable placement in one of the oil companies in Port-Harcourt. Well, I didn’t have much faith in the “arrangement” hence the mixture of enthusiasm and apprehension I felt on the way to check the NYSC placement notice board in school.

OMG…..BAYELSA STATE??!!!!!???!!!

I was posted to Bayelsa State. I didn’t know whether to be happy I didn’t get one of the Northern states or sad that I didn’t get the state my father parted with his hard earned money to ‘arrange’ for me.

“Well, Bayelsa and Rivers State share the same border in the Niger Delta so maybe I didn’t get such a bad deal after all”, I said while trying very hard to mentally compensate myself.

NYSC camp was a little over a week away and so began my “all white” shopping. We were promised the provision of white shorts, tops and shoes to be used in camp but any smart Nigerian knows the suicidal implications of trusting a Nigerian firm desperate to cut costs with their clothes. We had to get our white wears ourselves to save one from the embarrament of wearing under size or over size clothes that required constant patching.

The D-day had arrived and I was armed with my box filled with clothes, provisions (the essentials like cornflakes, milk, milo).
I had this proud-first-corper-in-my-family smile as daddy dropped me off at the airport to board a flight to Port Harcourt (Bayelsa didn’t have a functional airport back then, don’t know if they do now).

I landed at the other side of Nigeria a little under an hour after we left the local airport in Lagos. I called daddy to inform him that I had arrived safely and then began my quest to get to Bayelsa and locate the camp in Kaiama.

After about three hours of a mixture of cab, bus and bike modes of transport I arrived the Kaiama bus park just before the NYSC camp. I got to the park with a few other corpers and we were met with the enthusiast shouts of
“Corper corper, N50 bike to camp”,
“Corper buy your bucket here, it’s more expensive in camp o”,
“Corper this”, “Corper that”.

“So I was finally a Corper almost 6 years after I entered the University. This is surreal”. I thought to myself with the heavy box balanced on my laps while on the okada (bike) to camp.

I was still in this bubble of excitement, deep in my own thoughts when the words “heeeeey okada, drop am here” brought me back to Earth. I had arrived at the camp and those were the words of the soldiers positioned at the gate.

“Come down and open your box”, they seemed to say in unison. I alighted, payed the bike man and opened my box. Like an NDLEA agent looking for drugs, they ravaged through my box and removed “contrabands” like my iron fork and bread knife.

“You can go”, they said. “Thank you Sirs”, I replied with as much vigor as I could muster coupled with this fake pearcing smile.
I entered the camp to see people queing up and I immediately joined the line. I didn’t need a sooth sayer to tell me it was the registration line.

It was on the line I met Kelvin who happened to be my first friend in camp. “If I had to get girls in camp, I had to hang around fine boys” I thought to myself and Kelvin was surely a tall fine boy.

After a while on the line, I registered, got my mattress (the mattresses given in our camp looked sick), located my bed space in a crowded room filled with friendly looking chaps from all over the country. I got to my bunk and as luck would have it, my bunk mate took the upper bed side while I settled for my preferred option down under.

“Hi, my name is Kurtis”, I said to my bunk mate with a smile while he replied “my name is Aminu”, he replied. I had myself an Hausa bunk mate. Now that’s nice………
I arranged my bed space, left with Kelvin who was given the bunk bed just opposite mine. While other corpers were more concerned with registration and getting their khaki, boots and all white outfits, Kelvin and I were more concerned with getting a place to watch the UEFA Champions League match that was scheduled for that Tuesday evening. “Wow, the dude thinks just like me”, I mustered under my breathe. A budding friendship in camp was born.

We managed to get a place to watch the match after which we joined the queue to finish registration and get our NYSC branded outfits.

As if to end our blossoming friendship, the NYSC officials posted Kelvin and I to different platoons. Not their fault actually because we both ignorantly stood beside each other on the queue and while my number was BY/11/A/1050 (ending with 0 so I automatically got Platoon 10) his was 1051 (Platoon 1).

That wasn’t even the most annoying thing that happened on my first day. The NYSC officials not only gave us weirdly taloured outfits that needed the services of the tailors in camp but ended up giving drunk looking belts to hold up the over sized khaki trousers. To add salt into injury, I was given an under-sized boot. The biggest size available was size 45 and for my 6ft 4in frame, a size 45 wouldn’t cut it. I was in deep s#$&.

I was too tired after the day’s journey to have any argument with those mean looking officials so I jejeli took my undersize boots with my oversize khaki and my funny looking belt into my room. Dumped them under my bed, mumbled a few words of prayer and fell head first into my mosquito net protected bunk bed.

To be continued………….

Toasting a Girl is Like Using ATM

Growing up as a little boy, I could literally stand anything or do anything with little or no encouragement. I was the same boy that collected about 15 strokes of the cane during one unfateful day on the assembly ground (I can’t even remember what I did). I was the same boy that represented my school in International competitions as the goalkeeper of the Junior team. I was the same small boy that fought and defeated the class agbero everyone dared not challenge.

I had the courage to conquer all these fears but lacked the liver to talk to my crush in class. As a matter of fact, I wasn’t even bold enough to talk to any girl apart from usual give me your notebook class talk. If it had to do with love, count me out. Unless you want me to stammer or at worst freeze like a dummy.

Growing up, I noticed I had the looks. I was this cute boy with a pointed nose (often called Oyimbo nose). I was tall (currently standing at 6ft 4in). I was smart (not so smart now but let’s not dwell on that….lol). Girls naturally were drawn to me. I had a legion of school daughters. As a matter of fact being my school daughter was a boastful achievement amongs the Junior girls. Girls liked me but I didn’t know how to make my move.

Two things bothered me the most about approaching girls: “What to say” and “What if she says no or even worst embarasses me?”

I had to figure out a way to approach girls and fast or risk remaining single for a considerable length of time.

Fast forward over 10 years since then, the same shy boy of yesteryears was now the same man advicing young men on how to approach ladies.

What’s the magic?

Simply put: ATM

1. Attention to detail: The hidden secret to wooing a girl is paying attention to every detail about her. Her look, her hair, her shoes, her makeup, her bag, her mannerism. Everything you can lay your eyes on. Take a mental picture of them before you make your move because they will form a basis for your approach.

In Practice:
You see a girl at a banking hall walking around worried and upset. It’s obvious she’s having issues with a transaction or a bank related problem. Instead of walking up to her with the same lame “Hi, my name is Emmanuel. You look beautiful. Can I get to know you?” line. Approach her with this line,
“Hi dear, you looking frustrated. Don’t tell me this useless bank is getting on your nerves as they have mine. I would have scattered their computers. They are lucky I am a Christian”
She’s gonna manage a smile and tell you her problems. Relate with her, help if you can and getting her number will be like drinking water.

Another Illustration:
You see a cute girl wearing a Manchester United Jersey and you are an Arsenal fan.
You approach her with this line.
“Imagine. So fine girls are still with this drowning ship called Man U. Better join the club with the most beautiful supporters.
She’ll smile and ask
“Which club is that?”
You reply “Arsenal of course. So you don’t know? Haba”.
The end is sure……

Remember, observe before you make your move. Have enough information. It’s important.

2. Timely: I remember watching a documentary on lions on National Geographic. This lion had a prey in sight. This gorgeous looking antelope. He could have upon sighting it, come out swinging and still catch the antelope. But as a damn smart animal, it waited, waited and waited. When it felt the time was right, it struck and with minimal fuss, caught it’s prey.

There is nothing more important than approaching a girl at the right time. Timeliness is almost as important as the words that come out from your mouth. When approached at the wrong time, a good friendly girl could seem rude. She’s not. You just didn’t “strike” at the right time.

In Practice:
A girl is walking on the road and you are in your Range. You drive up to her and be like “Hi. How are you? Can I give you a lift?”. Only girls that haven’t seen a Range would enter the car.
But a wise man would follow her to find out where she stays. Or wait till she branches a supermarket, gets out of the car and makes his move.

Another Illustration:
Don’t see a girl walking on the road and approach her. She’ll most likely blank you and that’s all your fault. You like her. Wait till she gets to her destination. When she’s no longer on the move, then you can commence your line of action.

Final Illustration:
You like a girl at a party
Don’t approach her when she’s with her friends. Don’t approach her when she’s dancing. Don’t approach her when she’s eating. Don’t approach her when she’s on the phone

Approach her:
When she’s on the phone pinging with this line “Hello. So I am curious. What could be so important that you are missing all the fun inside. Please tell your boyfriend to let you have fun joh”
Expect a smile and a denial of your “boyfriend” allegation.
The rest they say is history.

Approach her:
When she has a drink in her hand with this line “Hi. I have been watching your detailed and undivided attention to the drink on your hand. Iy looks good. I don’t mind trying it out. Is it tequila or something?”
Expect her to tell you all about her drink and where you can get it.

3. Manly/Mesmerize/Money:
The third and final leg of the ATM acronym has three subdivisions and only one is compulsory: Manly. As long as you are Manly, you can pick one of the other two.

i. Manly: As the popular Nigerian saying goes “a lizard in Nigeria would not suddenly become a crocodile abroad”. A man would always be a man. With or without money. With or without the looks. With or without the charm. With or without the cars.
All men need to understand this fact before approaching a woman. She’s not doing you a favour giving you her attention. You don’t have to approach her beggarly. The “Please give me your number” approach belittles your manly status and should be avoided at all cost. She doesn’t want you. Move on. You are a man. You are the man.
Remember, never beg for a girl’s attention. Never beg for her number. Never beg for her time. Yes you are the man, behave like one.

ii. Mesmerize: To mesmerize can be loosely defined as “to hold the attention of (someone) to the exclusion of all else or so as to transfix them”. Therefore when approaching a lady, a guy needs to make himself mezmeric in nature (if that’s even a word). If you don’t have the height, then use the looks. If you don’t have the looks then utilize a sense of humor. If you lack sense of humor then be complimentary. All you do, make sure you leave her with a positive impression of you. If she doesn’t remember you name afterwards that’s fine as long as she remembers something about you.
When a girl is talking about her day with her friends, mesmerize her enough to be a topic of discussion.

iii. Money: I have never used money as a toasting weapon partly because I don’t have that kind of money that would impress a girl and mainly because my sweet mouth does what money can’t do (my condolence). You want to approach a girl and you feel like spending voluntarily then please be my guest (not tomorrow you accuse her of eating your money and not saying yes).
But in all you do, don’t be a jerk about it. Be romantic.

In Practice:
You like a girl and you find out she works in First Bank branch in Ikoyi. First point of action is to get her name and department. From anybody is fine. Secondly, send her a bouquet of flowers with a note “From your secret admirer”. Next time send a box of chocolates and write “From your secret admirer again. Note: In all you do, please don’t eat all this chocolate alone. I don’t want you fat”.
That’s money well spent. In time, you make your approach and the money you have spent will speak on your behalf.

Finally, when next you decide to approach a girl, don’t just open your mouth. Use the ATM approach and she’ll be yours. If all of the above doesn’t work. She belongs to someone else. Back off.

Sex and Marriage: When Men and Women Hold The Power

Sade met Richard at one of his colleague’s birthday party. There was enough to eat and drink but while everyone was either mingling or getting their groove on, Richard had another mission.

He was the MC of the show but was more concerned with spitting his oratory lines to a girl he was admiring not the audience. He had noticed this charming girl seated isolated from the crowd looking lost and was buying his time before making his move.

“DJ the crowd is getting anxious to shake their body, let’s see what you got”. The DJ taking over was just the cue he needed to make his move.

“Hi, are you sure you are at the right party if so why is the most beautiful girl at this party not in the party”.
‘Smooth talker’, she thought to herself before looking up to see who was trying to bamboozle her with sugar coated words.

What she saw confused her the more for Richard was this tall, lanky but quite good looking fellow. He had the face and swag to go with the rhymes too.
“Hello”, she said just after swallowing a spit of admiration. His approach had disarmed her and his looks gave her amnesia. She didn’t recollect what he had said earlier and shamefully said
“Hi, my name is Sade”.

As the smooth talker he was he replied “I am Richard and you have a beautiful name. But I didn’t ask for your name though, asked why you are here all alone away from all the groove happening across the room”.

“Richie Rich, it’s time to make a toast everyone is waiting” were the words Richard wasn’t ready to hear. For he was just about entering Gear 2 with Sade. He had to leave with his joy killing friend Thomas because he knew he had a job to do.

“Wait for me. I will be gone just a minute”. He said to a love (infatuation) struck Sade. “Okay”, she replied sheepishly.

“Let’s get this party started” she thought to herself while Richard went away to fulfill his MC duties.

As if he was being chased by a thunderbolt, Richard finished the toast rather too hastily and proceeded to his primary mission: Sade.

By the time he got back, she had regained her composure and her sudden amnesia had desipated.

They got talking and had that “it feels like I have known you for a while” thing about them.

Sade and Richard would swear “love at first sight” existed because what else could you call what they feel about eachother on the very first day.

THE POWER OF SEX:
Sade and Richard had been dating for about six months and were practically inseparable. Love struck is putting it lightly. They were love meshed.
But one thing stood out about them. They were not having sex.

Sade wanted a relationship that was void of sexual contamination. She wanted something real with him. Something godly.

Richard was on the same boat initially and agreed to the “no sex” rule until she was ready but as time went on, he was getting a lil bit restless. For a sexually active guy. That loves sex. It wasn’t easy for him but she had the final say and didn’t want to pressure her.

On their second year anniversary, Sade finally gave him exclusive access into her feminity and it was breathtaking. Sade was convinced it was worth the wait. Richard on the other hand wasn’t convinced. But she had the power of sex in her palms and all he had to do was wait. An agonizing wait it was.

THE POWER OF PROPOSAL:
“I want you to meet my parents”, Richard informed Sade. Those words sounded like music in her eyes. Asides from “would you marry me?”, “meet my parents” were like a girl’s cue to know when a guy wanted to take that extra step. She agreed to his invitation and a few days later they went to see Dr. and Dr. Mrs John Obiafo.

Like a girl having sex for the first time, Sade was a nervous wreck.
“What if they don’t like me?” “What if they don’t want their son to marry a Yoruba girl”. “What if they don’t like my dreadlocks or disapprove of my kind of work”. She ran a night club.

Richard knew her concerns and tried to calm her down with his usual sugar coated repertoire of words.

“Baby you are gonna be fine. My parents aren’t crazy enough to disapprove of an angel like you. I will knock them one after the other if I hear peeeeem from their mouth”

Those words felt like baby wipes cleaning a girl’s makeup filled face. It cleaned away her fears and installed in her the sort of confidence it took a girl of her standing to conquer the male dominated World of night club owners.

She was ready to go…….

“Your parents are so nice”, she said smiling after their time with them.
“I told you you had nothing to worry about”, he said with a smirk on his face. Sade looked embarrassed and kissed him. “Yes you did baby. Yes you did”.

Sade and Richard were in their fourth year of a blissful relationship but he was yet to pop the question. Sade was worried. She intended settling down as soon as possible because among other things thr rent for her club was expiring soon. She needed to know if Richard who had moved to Port Harcourt (PH) after getting a lucrative Oil and Gas job was gonna pop the question soon so she doesn’t bother renewing her rent and move down to PH with him. Her next career move hinged on his proposal. But it was not forthcoming.

Richard’s reason: Career ladder.

Richard became Head Project Manager at his new firm in quick time and intended focusing all his energy and time achieving a level of financial buoyancy before getting married.

Sade felt shortchanged. He was busy furthering his career and stalking hers. “It’s not fair”, she would tell her best friend Uche.

Richard had the power of proposal in his hands and wasn’t gonna be pressured into relinquishing it.

Synopsis:
The love life of Sade and Richard is just a testament of the many powers men and women have for/against eachother. Sex is a woman’s weapon. Marriage is a man’s. When used skillfully will get the other party on their knees or one knee as the case may be. Literally.