When Love Becomes Suspiciously Lonely

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I once asked a friend why she missed her boyfriend. Ex boyfriend as at that point. The same guy that cheated on her so much that she lost count. The same guy that used her as a punching bag in preparation for his boxing championship.

Her simple reply was “I am lonely without him”.

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It begs to ask these questions?

Are you in “love” because you are lonely?

Are you in that relationship because you can’t stand being alone?

Are you getting married just because you are tired of being referred to as Miss?

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Until you get comfortable with being alone, you will never know if you are choosing someone out of love or out of loneliness.

Love yourself first before you should love someone else.

Get comfortable alone before you cosy up to someone else.

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Even if you want to enjoy the comfort of a hotel, have your own comfortable crib. So as soon as the hotel starts getting uncomfortable, you can pack your things with a smile and head back to your beautiful crib.

It you don’t enjoy your company, it invariably means you have no crib to return to. You are rendered homeless.

So you will either return to the same hotel to live as a unwanted guest.
OR
You lodge at any place no matter how filthy it is just to get a roof over your head.

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Have you ever wondered why some people are never single for long?

Have you ever wondered why some people stay in abusive relationships?

Have you ever wondered why some people jump from one bad relationship to another?

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They have no crib (self love) to return to when they leave the hotel (relationship).

It’s better to be happy alone than unhappy in the name of love.

Love your own company.

Get yourself a comfortable crib.

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Guys Only: 20 Codes of Bachelorhood

 

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The do’s and don’t of bachelorhood.

1. Never tell your real age: The thing about this code is that your age could be the difference between getting laid or making use of your hands (if you get my drift). Some girls especially the shallow minded types are all against dating someone younger. So before you reveal your age, make sure she tells you hers. If she’s older, you are two years older than her (I’m sure you get my drift). You can tell her later when the need arises. Remember, age is just a number….lol.

2. Never tell your salary: It is unforgivable for a guy to tell a girl how much she earns. Even my blood sister doesn’t know how much I earn. It’s a crime. Remember I wanted you.

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3. Never use money to toast: As soon as you use money to get a girl’s attention then be rest assured that you will need much money to keep her. Don’t start what you can’t finish.

4. Never promise marriage: This is self explanatory. Even if you feel she’s the one, don’t promise marriage.

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5. Never hit a girl: It is just wrong for a man to hit a woman. I really don’t care what she did. If you value her, don’t abuse her. Even if you don’t value her, don’t touch her. If you think you are strong, pick a fight with someone your own gender.

6. Never rape or force sex: Real men are too slick and smooth to pressure a girl into sex, rape or even date rape a girl. You want some, let your mouth or your money do the talking.

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7. Never touch these girls: Seven types of girls/ladies are out of bounds for bachelors and all men in general.
i. Any girl under 18 years old
ii. Married women
iii. Children
iv. Close friend’s girl
v. Relatives.
vi. Older women
vii. Desperate and Vunerable girl.
For more explanation on all seven, read “Seven Types of Females A Man Should Never Have Sex With”. Click HERE.

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7. Never lie about your status: If you have a girlfriend, then admit you have a girlfriend. She likes you, she will stick around. Lie and you will need more lies to cover your ass. Very uncomfortable position to be in.

9. Never kiss and tell: Only guys with low self esteem would divulge his affairs with girls to other guys. The only person that should know what happens between you and a girl is your bed sheets. Keep it to your damn self. Don’t be an asshole.

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10. Never accommodate: You know how some girls like to make their boyfriend’s house their second crib. Spending up to a month plus in his house. Don’t allow this. It’s a taboo. The highest she can stay is a week. She gets too comfortable, you are in big sh**.

 

Enough with the “Nevers”, let’s take a look at a bachelor’s pad.

11. Stay alone: As a bachelor, move out of your parents house as soon as possible. Staying with your parents with your full beards is an anomaly. No matter how small the crib is, get out.

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12. Keep it neat: Your crib doesn’t have to be expensively decorated, it just has to be neat. Once a girl is comfy in your crib, the rest is history.

13. Food: There should always be food at home, it saves you ‘fast food’ money. Better still learn how to cook.

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14.  Comfortable: Make your crib comfortable. Generator on stand by. Fuel/diesel available. DSTV/GOTV subscribed. AC chilling. Laptop stacked with movies. Drinks in the fridge. Biscuits and snacks available.

15. The Big C: There comes a time in a bachelor’s life he is torn between unprotected sex or no sex at all. Don’t be in this position. Always make protection available in your house.

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Enough of a bachelor’s pad, let’s talk about his looks.

16. Be clean: A well dressed guy is a big turn on for ladies but if you can’t afford expensive clothes just be presentable and neat. Make sure your beards are neat and well cut unless you are with the #BeardGang crew.

17. Family first: No matter what you do, always remember what matters the most and that’s family. Never forget that.

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18. Church boy: Never be too big or too busy to allocate appropriate time to worship your God. Fridays and Sundays are days to go to the mosque and the church respectively as he case may be. Pay your offerings and tithes. Love God and remember real men pray.

19. Be a giver: Always find an avenue to give because giving always attracts more blessings to the giver. The more you keep to yourself, the poorer you get. Give.

20. Save: It’s not enough to work and make some money. It is not enough to give to family, friends and people in need. Remember to save. Save for your future family. Save to afford yourself a gorgeous wedding. Save to afford the honeymoon of your dreams. Save to pay for your future wife’s hospital bills. Save for those first sets of baby diapers. Save for school fees. Don’t spend all your earnings on “enjoyment”. No matter how small, SAVE.

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Seven Types of Females A Man Should Never Have Sex With

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1. Any girl under 18 years old: No matter how mature she looks. Ask for her age and if she’s under 18 years old. Stay away. In some countries, having sex with a minor is a jail-able offense. Be warned.

2. Married women: A married woman takes a covenant on her wedding day in the house of God with words like “let no man out asunder” embedded somewhere inside. She’s covenantly tied to her husband. In spirit and in the physical realm. Having sexual relationships with her goes way beyond human comprehension. It’s way deeper than people are made to believe and it’s repercussions are grave. Stay away from people’s wives.

3. Children: Only a psychologically challenged, evil filled and hell bound  human being will sexually molest a child. Unexplainable. Despicable.

4. Close friend’s girl: I know she’s fine. I know she’s irresistible. I know she drives you insane but she is your brother or close friend’s girl. Please stay away. She’s not worth it. Trust me.

5. Relative: If she’s from your state, there is a chance she’s from the same Local Government Area (LGA). If she’s from the same LGA, there is a chance she’s from your village. If she’s from the same village, there is a chance she’s from your kindred. If she’s from your kindred, there is a chance you bith are connected by blood.
Don’t let ignorance or love as he case maybe make you indulge in incest. Family members, cousins (to the finite generation) are prohibited. Stay away.

6. Older women: I never knew this was possible but I recently found out that certain men derive intense pleasure in having sexual relationship with olden women. When I mean older, I mean widows. When I mean widows, I mean 60+. Gross. Only a sick person would do such. He needs help. Ewwww. Leave grandma alone. Gosh.

7. Desperate and Vunerable girl: This desperate girl comes to you looking for work or money to take care of some bills and you demand sex in exchange. This act alone betrays humanity and it’s wrong on all levels. It’s either you are willing to help or not. Don’t take to give.

Guys Only: 10 Codes To Wooing A Girl

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The difference between the shy young ignorant boy that I was to the confident ladies man that I am today is time, rejection and experience.
Time has gone bye, rejection taught me more than acceptance did which added to my experience.
Below are just ten of the most important codes in wooing a girl that you might ever read anywhere on the net. Short and straight to the point. Enjoy.

1. Confidence: The first and most important ingredient in wooing a girl is confidence. No matter how beautiful/rich/tall/classy she looks. Walk in with confidence and even when rejected, walk away with confidence.

2. Jokes: Everyone loves a laugh but for girls, it works like magic. Have a sense of humor and use them effectively. Even if she doesn’t say yes, make her laugh enough to remember you next time.

3. Money: The truth about money is that it keeps desperate women. If she’s not after your money, she won’t need too much of it. Spend wisely and smartly but never use money to woo a girl. It will backfire.

4. Bad boy: I can’t explain this phenomenal but whereas guys like good inexperienced girls, girls on the other hand like bad experienced guys. Even if you are not as bad as she wants, sugar coat your experiences. Make them sound more glamorous they they were and she’ll come back for more. I didn’t say lie. Sugar coat.

5. Gentleman: For my African readers, y’all will remember the words of arguably Africa’s greatest musician when he said “I nobi gentleman at all o, I be African man original”. There is thin line between being a gentleman and fool. Be nice and stupid. She misbehaves, tell her. She steps out of line, correct her. Don’t turn a blind eye to her indiscretions because of love. She will step over you.

6. Be flirtatious: Don’t make a girl feel like she’s doing you a favour dating you. Never. The day you step out of line she will tell you “remember I have many men after me”. Don’t cheat but make sure she knows that many girls like you too but you chose her. Giving her the impression that you too are ‘hot property’ keeps her in line.

7. Be a good listener: In the article titled ” Listening Your Way To A Girl’s Heart”, I explained the benefits of being a good listener in getting a girl to give you the yes you desire. Click HERE to read the article in full.

8. Knight and Shining Armour: Before wooing a girl her, you should first ask yourself a question. “Am I able to protect this lady if push comes to shove?” Protection could be physical, emotional, sexual, financial. Don’t keep a girl you can’t protect. Stay single until you can. Prove to her that you are capable. Don’t let anyone talk down at her. Support her. Comfort her. Nourish and cherish her.

9. Unavailability: You call her everyday. You check on her every minute. You are always there for her. She asks for money, you always give. You are always at her beck and call. You are setting yourself up for over familiarity and over familiarity breeds contempt. She’ll take you for granted.
Become busy even if you aren’t busy. Don’t call all the damn time. Miss some of her calls. Take time to reply her messages. Drag your feet when she asks for money. I don’t mean for you to be an asshole, just be a scarce gentleman.

10. Unpredictability: The major difference between the good boy that remains single and the bad boy that gets the girls is their level of unpredictability. Whereas every step the good boy makes can be predicted, the bad boy’s steps are mysterious. Today he is romantic, tomorrow he is an asshole, the next day he is indifferent. Girls like the mysterious. Become one.

Abbreviating A Greeting is Wrong

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Social media savvy Human beings have become so used to short forms or abbreviations in passing across their messages online that it’s becoming repugnant.

Instead of good morning, you see people greeting with ‘GM’ or ‘Gud morni’ or just ‘morning’.

I might be old school but I am of the opinion that salutations should never be abbreviated because there is power in such greetings.

For example, Good Morning means the ‘greeter’ is prophesying goodness into the ‘greetees’ morning. It’s like saying I wish you a good morning ahead. If that’s the case,
what does ‘morning’ mean?
What does ‘GM’ mean?
What does ‘Gud Morni’ mean?
And more annoyingly, what does ‘same to you’ when someone offers you a salutation mean?

Don’t get to informal that you devalue the importance and potency of comon salutations.

I don’t know about you but my parents taught me better. I’m sure yours did too. Don’t let social media take that away.

Good day folks.

The Kind of Love That Never Fades

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It’s possible to exchange thousands of words with people and never learn what they believe or value or feel.

It’s possible to fall in love with what you imagine someone is like or how they make you feel and yet never see him/her for who they really are.

Don’t fall in love because of how he/she makes you feel. Fall in love with who he/she really is.

While the former love fades away easily, the latter love is immovable because how she makes you feel might change over time, who he really is (strengths and weaknesses) most times never change.

Think about it…….