Guys Only: 20 Codes of Bachelorhood

 

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The do’s and don’t of bachelorhood.

1. Never tell your real age: The thing about this code is that your age could be the difference between getting laid or making use of your hands (if you get my drift). Some girls especially the shallow minded types are all against dating someone younger. So before you reveal your age, make sure she tells you hers. If she’s older, you are two years older than her (I’m sure you get my drift). You can tell her later when the need arises. Remember, age is just a number….lol.

2. Never tell your salary: It is unforgivable for a guy to tell a girl how much she earns. Even my blood sister doesn’t know how much I earn. It’s a crime. Remember I wanted you.

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3. Never use money to toast: As soon as you use money to get a girl’s attention then be rest assured that you will need much money to keep her. Don’t start what you can’t finish.

4. Never promise marriage: This is self explanatory. Even if you feel she’s the one, don’t promise marriage.

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5. Never hit a girl: It is just wrong for a man to hit a woman. I really don’t care what she did. If you value her, don’t abuse her. Even if you don’t value her, don’t touch her. If you think you are strong, pick a fight with someone your own gender.

6. Never rape or force sex: Real men are too slick and smooth to pressure a girl into sex, rape or even date rape a girl. You want some, let your mouth or your money do the talking.

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7. Never touch these girls: Seven types of girls/ladies are out of bounds for bachelors and all men in general.
i. Any girl under 18 years old
ii. Married women
iii. Children
iv. Close friend’s girl
v. Relatives.
vi. Older women
vii. Desperate and Vunerable girl.
For more explanation on all seven, read “Seven Types of Females A Man Should Never Have Sex With”. Click HERE.

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7. Never lie about your status: If you have a girlfriend, then admit you have a girlfriend. She likes you, she will stick around. Lie and you will need more lies to cover your ass. Very uncomfortable position to be in.

9. Never kiss and tell: Only guys with low self esteem would divulge his affairs with girls to other guys. The only person that should know what happens between you and a girl is your bed sheets. Keep it to your damn self. Don’t be an asshole.

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10. Never accommodate: You know how some girls like to make their boyfriend’s house their second crib. Spending up to a month plus in his house. Don’t allow this. It’s a taboo. The highest she can stay is a week. She gets too comfortable, you are in big sh**.

 

Enough with the “Nevers”, let’s take a look at a bachelor’s pad.

11. Stay alone: As a bachelor, move out of your parents house as soon as possible. Staying with your parents with your full beards is an anomaly. No matter how small the crib is, get out.

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12. Keep it neat: Your crib doesn’t have to be expensively decorated, it just has to be neat. Once a girl is comfy in your crib, the rest is history.

13. Food: There should always be food at home, it saves you ‘fast food’ money. Better still learn how to cook.

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14.  Comfortable: Make your crib comfortable. Generator on stand by. Fuel/diesel available. DSTV/GOTV subscribed. AC chilling. Laptop stacked with movies. Drinks in the fridge. Biscuits and snacks available.

15. The Big C: There comes a time in a bachelor’s life he is torn between unprotected sex or no sex at all. Don’t be in this position. Always make protection available in your house.

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Enough of a bachelor’s pad, let’s talk about his looks.

16. Be clean: A well dressed guy is a big turn on for ladies but if you can’t afford expensive clothes just be presentable and neat. Make sure your beards are neat and well cut unless you are with the #BeardGang crew.

17. Family first: No matter what you do, always remember what matters the most and that’s family. Never forget that.

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18. Church boy: Never be too big or too busy to allocate appropriate time to worship your God. Fridays and Sundays are days to go to the mosque and the church respectively as he case may be. Pay your offerings and tithes. Love God and remember real men pray.

19. Be a giver: Always find an avenue to give because giving always attracts more blessings to the giver. The more you keep to yourself, the poorer you get. Give.

20. Save: It’s not enough to work and make some money. It is not enough to give to family, friends and people in need. Remember to save. Save for your future family. Save to afford yourself a gorgeous wedding. Save to afford the honeymoon of your dreams. Save to pay for your future wife’s hospital bills. Save for those first sets of baby diapers. Save for school fees. Don’t spend all your earnings on “enjoyment”. No matter how small, SAVE.

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