Underage Sex: When YES Means NO

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The year was 2011 and upon seeing my posting letter in camp, I didn’t know whether to disappear or let the ground swallow me. I was posted to one of the riverine areas in Bayelsa even after working/pleading/arranging/paying to be posted to the state capital, Yenegoa.

I couldn’t swim, I didn’t have a life jacket, I had never really traveled on water and here I had to report to a riverine area which was about 40 minutes trip on water.

In this despair, I disappeared to Lagos to contemplate my next plan of action. I resumed duty after a month when my hopes of a re-posting appeared bleak and had to forfeit my N19,800 allowee as punishment for absconding from duty.

Upon resumption at my PPA (Place of Primary Assignment), I noticed the following about the community.

# No light. No NEPA. Generators were the order of the day.
# No network. None. The river bank was your best chance of making and receiving calls.
# No running water. Water from the river was your only chance of getting water. The same river the villagers had their bath, washed their clothes and even poo’d in.
# The underage girls in the village where either pregnant or sexually active.

As a Petroleum Engineering graduate, I started off as an English and Biology teacher partly to teach sex education and help improve their spoken and written English.

One thing I swore never to do and never did was take advantage of my elevated position as a teacher/Corper to defile the small girls in the school or community.

I never allowed female students to visit me in the corper’s lodge (which was in the same compound with the school). I never for once discussed sexual topics privately with any female student. I never for once touched any female student inappropriately. I never for once made sexual advances at any female student.

I respected myself, the little children under my care, their parents and God.

Luke 12:48 “….For to whomsoever much is given, of him shall much be required: and to whom men have committed much, from him they will ask the more”.

The responsibly of these girls. The care of these girls. The innocence of these girls. The future sexual conduct of these girls were inadvertently in my hands.

Why would I then subvert myself into a sexual predator preying on the inquisitiveness and ignorance of these teenage girls?

It was with disdain and anger that I read the news of one Gbadamosi Mayowa, an NYSC corps member serving in a secondary Edo state bragging of receiving head from one of his female students. In his FB post, he was quoted as saying “When your student wants the dick and you are contemplating. At the end she gon go down and suck the hell out of you……. #Babyboy #EdoCorper #BadGang”.

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This deranged Corper even boasted in previous posts of giving his students alcohol. Imagine the effrontery.

His posts caused an uproar and he has since deleted his Facebook account. Below are a few of the reactions to his sexual perversions.

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This is lesson to all male Corpers currently serving in mixed or girls only schools. Leave your students alone. If it’s sex you desire, get a mature girl to satisfy your sexual urge. You should be a pillar to these sexually naïve girls instead of taking advantage of them, robbing them of their innocence and turning teenage girls into nymphos.

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The Corper should be arrested and made to pay for his sexual exuberance. Having sex with underage in Western countries would bag you a prison sentence but in Nigeria, not even a police report is issued. When would we as a country begin to protect our girls from sexual predators in the kind of Gbadamosi Mayowa?

But wait a minute. Some places in my dear country allow girls as young as 13 years to be given up in marriage.

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Seems we are fighting a lost battle.

When Guys Have To Cook To Survive

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I grew up having no need to enhance my cooking skills. I had a mother who more or less was a housewife and made selfless efforts in making sure my two siblings and I had food to eat as at when hungry (rich families eat when due, we eat when hungry).

I proceeded to boarding school where it was the school’s responsibility to feed us so my cooking skills lay dormant.

Then after secondary school, I got admission into Nigeria’s foremost Private University popularly referred to as a glorified secondary school (I didn’t mention any name..lol). In my school, we weren’t allowed to cook (so we either bought food from the school cafeteria or cooked indomie/spaghetti with electric kettle in the hostels. My cooking skills still lay dormant.

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I graduated and served my country in Bayelsa but in my corper’s lounge we had female Corpers who did the cooking while the boys contributed a larger bulk of the money for cooking. My cooking skills were still unattended to.

Then I left to the UK to further my education. That’s where everything changed….lol.

I got to the UK and my first few days were spent eating burger, chips, chicken and all those Oyimbo food.

Then it dawned on me that I could never maintain such eating habits with my little pocket money and the warehouse job I eventually got.

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Why don’t I eat in the many Nigerian restaurants in Coventry City?

Wrong!!!!!

Due to the expensive nature of bringing down food/soup ingredients from Nigeria, even Nigerian good were pricier than Oyimbo food.

“Why not cook your meals?”, a friend asked.

“Cook what?” When indomie was the only meal on my “things-I-can-cook list.

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To survive in the UK, I literally had to wake my dormant cooking skills up and learn how to cook. With the help of my beautiful Nigerian girlfriend back then, I learnt how to cook which has kept me in good stead even upon returning back to Nigeria and living a bachelor’s life.

In Chimamanda Adichie’s words “Cooking is a very useful skill for a boy to have. The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina. Cooking is learned. Cooking – domestic work in general – is a life skill that both men and women should ideally have”.

I blame my mother for not insisting that all her children (boys and girls) learnt how to cook. “What if, in raising children, we focus on ability, instead of gender? What if, in raising children, we focus on interest, instead of gender? I know a family who have a son and a daughter, both of whom are brilliant at school, who are wonderful, lovely children. When the boy is hungry, the parents say to the girl, “Go and cook [noodles] for your brother.” Now, the girl doesn’t particularly like to cook Indomie noodles, but she’s a girl, and so she has to. Now, what if the parents, from the beginning, taught both the boy and the girl to cook Indomie noodles?” – Chimamanda Adichie.

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It’s time, boys and girls are taught how to cook equally.
It’s time, men and women learnt how to cook because “I’ve never thought it made sense to leave such a crucial thing, the ability to nourish one’s self, in the hands of others”. – Chimamanda Adichie.

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