When Parents Dress Kids Like Adults

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A few months before, I had taken my kids to a birthday party and found myself in what could easily have been a night club for kids. Scanty clothing such as tight or very short clothes, bum shorts, long weaves, etc, seemed to be the dress code.

Not long after, the kids were called out to dance to the hit songs of the season – these songs in my opinion should be rated PG 16.

4 – 6 year olds trooped to the dance floor, miming the sexually explicit songs and gyrating their bodies in the most sensual manner.  They could have given Beyonce a run for her money. They ran their hands over their bodies, shook their booties hard while their parents cheered them on. The boys had their upper shirts unbuttoned and rapped along perfectly to gangsta raps while doing flawless break dance.

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Those who danced like actual children where shooed off the dance floor while the lewd ones were cheered on. As I watched, my child stared out of this circle looking longingly at the others dancing. I knew it was time to leave.

So the question is, why are we sexualizing our kids? Why does your 4, 6 or 9 year old girl have to look like a chick? Why does she have to be hot or sexy? Should your 8 year old son go around with a comb in his hair and his pants sagged almost to his ankles?

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If your child wears bum shorts out of the house at age 3, why should she be expected to wear longer ones at 15? If she wears 2 rings and 12 bangles at 6, why won’t she pierce a second ear hole at 17 and her bellybutton at 19? Why won’t your son pierce his own ear at 15?

Are you setting your children up to be immodest and indecent? What trend are you starting them on? That all these are fashionable or trendy doesn’t mean it’s ok. What happened to children wearing dresses. Children can look very nice and decent, they can be well covered and still look good.

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I saw a child singing “I go chook you chuku chuku” with her friends and I was like “OMG”.

As a parent, you can’t play the CD of such songs and not expect your children to pick them up; the same goes for watching Mtv Base, Channel O, etc with your children. Studies have shown that children exposed to a high level of sexually explicit information tend to become sexually active early. Is that your goal as a parent?

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Being a parent involves sacrifice. You will need to avoid listening to such music where your children are. Most of those lyrics demean women and teach your daughter that she’s just a intimacy gadget and her body is for squeezing. It teaches the boys that money is everything and women are things to be used to satisfy their primal urges. These music introduces them to a degrading pop culture.

Our children have their lives ahead of them, train them up in the right way when s/he is old, s/he would not depart from it. I didn’t make that up. It’s in the Bible. Proverbs 22:6. Let’s set them on the right path by teaching them to dress decently and sing nice or age-appropriate songs. Let your children be children. Our children have their lives ahead of them, let’s set them on the right path.

God bless us all.

 

WRITTEN by By Smith Aderoju Folashade Abiola and edited by Kurtis Smith

The Blind Way of Saying Thank You

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A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: “I AM BLIND, PLEASE HELP.”
There were only a few coins in the hat. A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it round, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words. Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot of people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon, the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?” The man said, “I only wrote the truth, I said what you said but in a different way. I wrote: “TODAY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY, BUT I CANNOT SEE IT”.

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Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind and asked for sympathy! The second sign reminded people how fortunate they were to have their sight. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Think differently and most importantly think positively and always be thankful for what you have.

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Have a great attitude!
Never forget how blessed you are!

Being negative only makes your life’s journey more difficult!
Don’t be negative when you have so much to be positive about- at least you are alive! Count your blessings not your burden!

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When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.

Face your past without regret.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.

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As the year draws to a close, no matter how 2016 has been, keep the faith and drop the fear.

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Faith is not about everything turning out OK. Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out.

For every bad event that may have happened to you this year, there is at least ten good things to be grateful for. Focus on those goods thing as the year ends.

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“I believe if you keep your faith, you keep your trust, you keep the right attitude, if you’re grateful, you’ll see God open up new doors”. – Joel Osteen

Assignment: Take a sheet of paper and write things you are grateful for in 2016. If your list goes beyond 20, then you blessed. Think it and Act it.

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Reference:When The Sign Turned” from Our Daily Manna for December 6th, 2016.

A MUST READ: The Story of Hope That Brought Tears to My Eyes

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While going through the internet for my dose of daily info, I came across the true life story of this chap titled “They Mocked Me, But Now The Errand Boy Has Turned To A Big Boy” that literally brought tears to my eyes. A story of patience, calmness, perseverance, meekness, love, favour and God.

Note: It is a TRUE life story and it’s a bit lengthy but I assure you: it’s an amazingly great read.

Enough said, let’s jump right into it as told verbatim by the writer.

“Life is a journey and we never can tell who we meet on the way. My own case is slightly similar to that of Abraham in the Bible who came across an Angel. Unknowingly, he gave them bread and took care of them, that was where he was promised a child from God, and the rest is history.

My mom was an Akara seller who struggled to put I and my brothers through school. And life isn’t easy at all will all its short comings.

2014 after graduating from the university and awaiting my NYSC, I moved to Port Harcourt to join my uncle and his family. I started working in a Business center in Choba, close to Uniport pending till I go for my NYSC. Due to it’s a student environment and its 8am to 6pm, and the manager just started new in the area, I still managed the pay, N8,000. Customer response was very poor. Sometimes I do stay the whole day without any person coming to do any printing, photocopy or any job in my center.

This particular Wednesday afternoon after a rough morning. PHCN disconnected our power without no good reasons. So we were just left to use generator. Secondly, a man came and did a job without paying. It really hurts. I thought I had had enough that morning. Coming to afternoon, I was in the shop when a lady just walked in. the way she badged in sef was annoying. She was in a haste and looked angry. She asked if we have internet service. I told her we do. She said I should Google some works, do printing and photocopy for her. I just smiled. “My friend come and do this things for me, you are just looking and smiling like a goat,” she shouted at me. I was surprised because of her outburst as if I was her slave. I still kept my cool and calmness as I collected the work from her. “Don’t you people have A.C here?” she asked. I told her we didn’t. Na so she begin complain that other business centers have but it seemed we are so wretched. She couldn’t just understand why she was just raining curses on me. We have never met before neither has she been to our center before. I kept cool and told her not to worry that we would get A.C. I began her work. At a time she began complaining that I was too slow and I wasn’t getting the right results she wanted from Google and I was wasting her time. I looked at her and smiled and kept calm even when I was boiling inside me. I looked at her and told her to calm down that she will get what she is looking for. She began comparing our center with other big centers around Uniport. That if not because the other big business centers were full of people working she wouldn’t have come to our own. I began pleading with her to exercise patience. I even went as far as getting her refreshment when she said she wanted to get something to eat. I became the errand boy. After about 3 hours of work. After I don burn about 1gb of data and the printing and photocopies, she gave me N350. I tried to explain to her that her money was N2,750, but madam no gree. She said she wasn’t going to pay for the internet service because I didn’t get the actual things she wanted. And infact sef I don’t deserve to be paid. The thing pained me but I still smiled, trying to be friendly. But I no fit drag with her. I had to let go as she left. But she didn’t leave without telling me that I was useless in that shop, that my Oga should even employ another person. And she packed the work she said I didn’t don well. She carry dem go, and na generator I take run the work. To think she was very beautiful, young with that kind of attitude. I was really troubled when I got home. I felt humiliated but I still encouraged myself.

The next day, I was sitting in the shop when the troublesome woman that woman that didn’t pay me the previous day came in. I greeted her so well as if nothing happened the previous. And she replied me well, asking me how my night was. I was surprised, that was a woman that was abusing me, saying she won’t come to our shop again. Everything about her seems to have changed that day as she told me that her project supervisor approved and gave an excellent recommendation of her work, the one I help her with the previous day. I smiled in happiness. Na so she begin apologize for what she did the previous day. She said I should just forgive her because she had a bad day in her office and one of her kid was sick, couple with her pregnancy. She gave me money for the previous day and additional N1,000 for me. She went out and bought snacks for me oo. She asked me for my name and number. I told her I was a graduate and awaiting NYSC. She said I should call her mummy Nifemi. She asked why I didn’t even react when she was raining abuses the previous day, I was just smiling. I told her I am slow to anger. She said she liked my nature, that I know how to handle customers.

That was how became friends and she became a special customer. Infact she directed all her friends doing PhD and masters degree to our business center to be doing their works. Before we know wetin dey happen our shop don dey full with so many customers. Sometimes she calls me to come and collect work from her house to do for her. She introduced me to her husband sef and I became a very good friend to the family. Their family is very rich. Her husband works in a popular gas firm in Port Harcourt. They deal in supplies, marine gas. The company is owned by the husband, Daddy Nifemi.
Fortunately, when I printed my call-up letter, I was so surprised that I was posted to Rivers state. I was happy oo even though I wanted Abuja. Unfortunately, my uncle I was staying with was transferred to Abia state. He and his family moved to Abia while I began my PPA in Akuku-toru LGA. Even when I had stopped work at the business center, mummy and daddy Nifemi still keep intouch with me. Sometimes they do call me and I go to spend weekends in their house. At a time when am less busy, daddy Nifemi do take me along to work as his personal assistance (PA). He even takes me to oil rigs. After the outings, he would give me some money. They trusted me to the extent that I was part of the few they allow into their home and even stay with them. Sometimes I do leave Abonuma to Port Harcourt to bring back their kids from school. i help in supervising the cleaning of their homes. Sometimes they will give me money and some other times they won’t. I go just come back empty handed, but I didn’t care. My friends would laugh at me that am an errand boy. Dem go say na house boy and plate I dey wash for daddy Nifemi’s mansion.

One particular incident, I had withdrawn all my money and sent to my mom and siblings for upkeep and school. I barely had money on me. Daddy Nifemi invited me to their house for a paper work. I went and spent 3 days there and when I was coming back nothing was given to me. Even though I expected it but never saw, I was very broke. I managed to get to Abonuma to my friends laughing at me that my errand didn’t work that day. Dem say my errand for that day na in vein because I was not given money. Though I never complained because the Nifemis are trying so well for me. And I was doing everything for them from the bottom of my heart.
On the 5th of January 2016 after I had resumed to my PPA, daddy Nifemi called me that I should come to Port Harcourt immediately that he wants me to do something for him since corpers are yet to resume in their schools. Na so I go Port Harcourt. We went to an oil rig with his workers. After 2 days with him, when we got to his house in Port Harcourt. He said he has bought a new car to his fleets. He handed me the key to one his cars, a Honda EOD. He said I should take it, and the next day he would follow me to go and change ownership and paper works to my name. He also gave me an appointment letter that I have been automatically employed in his gas company. He said I should officially resume after my passing our parade (POP), but I will still be on salary for the remaining months of my service. He also gave me money for my project management program. I had once told him that I will be doing the course after my service. He gave me money and asked me to register immediately because I will use the knowledge in his company. I was so happy because I never expected it. One of the things he told me was that I am loyal and he had been watching me. He admired my approach to things.
Men and brethren, na so my life don change oooo. I am not telling this story to brag but to inspire us. I began to reminisce when I first met mummy Nifemi at my former working place. As she was ranting that day, what of if I had shouted at her? What of if I abused and chased her arrogantly from the shop? With her attitude, what of if I had treated her badly the way she did, she may not have returned back and I might not get to see her again. I might not have seen this kind of opportunity. I didn’t judge her from the attitude she portrayed that day, I still welcomed her the next day, which made us become close and now I am favoured. Now the errand boy has become the Oga. My life has changed. Na my friends wan start to run errand for me now”.

Reference:
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/1120-they-mocked-me-but-now-the-errand-boy-has-turned-to-a-big-boy

Why Lovers Shout When Angry

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A professor was teaching about Proverbs 15:1. He asked his students, why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset? The students thought for awhile. One said,because we lose our calm. But the professor asked again,why shout when the other person is just next to you? Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you are angry? The students gave some answers but none satisfied the professor.

Finally,he explained, “when two people are angry at each other, there is a distance in their heart psychologically. To cover the distance,they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are,the stronger they will shout to hear each other through that great distance.
Then the professor asked,” what happens when two people fall in love? They dont shout at each other but talk softly,why? Because their heart are psychologically close. The distance between them is very close.The professor continued,”when they love each other even more,what happens? They don’t speak, they only whisper and they even get closer to each other in their love. They even need not to whisper,they only look at each other and that’s all…so next time you shout on a loved one know that you are creating distance between your heart and that person’s heart.

Next time we are tempted to enter a shouting competition with someone or attempt to shout someone into submission, just remember to Proverbs 15:1 which says “gentle answer turns away wrath,but a harsh word stirs up anger”. Speak less when angry and talk more when relaxed.

Please share with as many friends as you can. You may be healing a hot tempered person today. Enjoy every moment, life is easy

THE STORY: A Married Man and The Single Girl

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A girl at a bus stop spotted a handsome man and without hesitation went to him and said ” you look cute.. I like you.”….

The man out of shock simply placed his hand on her shoulder and said “My dear, this love and infatuation are all nothing. You are too young to be behaving like this. Please go home and study hard so that you can have a successful life.”..

He then took out a piece of paper, wrote something inside and placed it on her hand and said ” I have written some words of wisdom and bible verses for you. Read them before you go to sleep.” And then he walked away.

The girl went back to her hostel in shame and before she slept she opened up the paper and read thus: “Are you blind? My wife was standing behind me. Any way, this is my number. Call me anytime. ….. By the way, I like you too!”.

Morale of the story:
1. You like something, go after it (ladies, stop forming).
2. Look before you leap (observe and then make your move).
3. Think on your feet (be smart and innovative)
4. Married men leave single girls alone (for single men like us)
5. Share if you found it funny (thanks).

 

A 9ice Way To Get Rid Of Payne

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In 2006, Toni Payne and Abolore Ajifolajifaola (9ice) met through a mutual friend Michael Stephens (Rugged Man) and got married on Thursday July 17, 2008 but had a particularly messy breakup when they separated 6 years ago.

They got divorced after 18 months of marriage and details of their marriage (and divorce) was played out messily in the media. At first public sympathy was on Toni’s side with many accusing 9ice of dumping his wife after making money. Others said he was beating his wife and chasing other women. But after the release of 9ice’s album, Tradition, people started pointing accusing fingers at Tony Payne and Rugged Man as true causes of their break-up. People alleged 9ice caught her in bed with a friend of his as the lyrics in his song, “Once Beaten Twice Shy” suggested. In the song, 9ice said he caught a lover giving his friend oral sex. Tongues started wagging and people alleged it was Ruggedman the singer was referring to.
While people accused Toni Payne of infidelity, 9ice kept shut and made no move to correct people’s impression of Toni Payne with the media accusing her of being a cheat and the cause of her marriage’s collapse.

After about 10 years since they met, 8 years since they got married and 6 years since their messy breakup and with tons of water under the bridge, Toni Payne shared the most powerful message about forgiveness, closure and moving on that you may ever read this year. So touching was the message that I am led to share her words verbatim with the hope that her message would touch someone’s heart who is struggling with forgiveness and moving on.

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It has been a good 6 years and now I can categorically say I have let go of all bitterness and hate I felt for a man I once loved. It has been an uphill journey but to find myself here is a blessing.

Without getting into detail and backtracking too much, I’ll summarize it as a lot of naivety, a lot of bad decisions, and a lot of untrained media professionals ready to blow things out of proportion. A man sang a song and for whatever reason known to them, Nigerian Media “professionals” decided to tag it as what it was not, and a lot of Nigerian onlookers decided to help spread it without knowing if it was true or not and unfortunately for me, I was caught in the crossfire. A lot of people formed opinions about me, some even hate me till today for something that was mere fiction. Such is life right?

Till today, I still wonder how things got that far. I wonder how things got so nasty. I wonder how a once beautiful relationship turned so sour so quickly.

These days, we talk – a lot. We talk about what happened and how we got here. These days, we can now joke and laugh about the past. I ask a lot of questions because I really want to understand him and put myself in his shoes. I also hope he understands my every reaction and puts himself in my shoes.

Through all the mess, we never really talked deeply about things. There was too much resentment on my side for me to want to allow him in. There was too much bitterness in my soul to ever want to forgive. I honestly never thought this day would come – that is how angry I was. There is a Yoruba proverb that states “when the ocean rises, you don’t rise to meet it.” For every action there is a reaction and for every reaction there are consequences.

I think sometimes, when you are finally in a good place, it is good to talk. Don’t just leave things like that, reach out to each other and talk about things. It is good for both parties to get closure. It is good to try to understand each other and move on with peace in your heart.

He stands by his reasoning that he never mentioned my name or ever accused me of such, and even though I agree with him that he never accused me of anything, I stand by my reasoning that he still should have defended me against a very wicked rumor. He argues that he felt it would have escalated things, I argue that things got escalated because he did not speak up.

We both believed in our decisions at that point. He felt silence was the best answer, I felt I needed to defend myself for posterity sake. At the end of the day, it is what it is. When the noise calms, we still have to deal with each other. When the curtains fall, we still need to have each others best interest at heart.

I am not perfect but I can categorically say I did my best to be a good woman to him. I still do. I believe deep down inside, he knows this. I do all possible best never to speak ill of him publicly – and as far as I know, he does the same for me.

After everything we went through, I always say it is best to keep your private life private. I write this today not to deviate from that but it would be unfair to forgive wholesomely for something that was so “Public” while leaving the impression that I have not. I know a lot of people think I hate him- I don’t!.

I also write this today not to bring up the past but to go on record and let anyone that feels bitter inside know that it only gets better. Trust me, if I can move on from an entire nation thinking I cheated when I did not, you can also forgive whomever hurt you. Just let love and kindness in your heart. Bitterness is a heavy weight to carry and now I feel 100 times lighter.

I believe the younger ones can learn a lot from our errors and most importantly learn about forgiveness. In life, we can only predict what we want from it, we can never ever guess 100% what it will give us. I spent so many years caring what others think till I realized in this life, the opinion of others is just that – an opinion. I believe I am starting my 2016 off in the right direction. I hope to work on forgiving others who contributed to this chapter in my story. I believe this is a great place to start. At the end of the day, we are family and I am eternally grateful for the grace to see this day.

 

HAPPY PROSPEROUSLY AMAZING 2016 AHEAD – whoop whoop.. lol

The “House Help” Kind Of Woman

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Written by a lady for ladies:

So your man tells you he is not planning on having kids or getting married anytime soon as he is still sorting out his life. He tells you he wants to have his second degree, a proper house and a bigger car first. You sit there smiling with just a birth certificate thinking how ‘lucky’ a wife you’ll be?
With the little he has, you ask for Brazilian hair and designer shoes. He goes to work and then straight to class after work. He leaves you in pyjamas in the morning and returns to find you in the same pyjamas in the evening. While he studies you watch ‘African Magic’ and ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’. He comes back home to find pap and chicken in the microwave. The only serious conversation you ever have is about the type of groceries you guys need.

The only advice you give him is “Babe you need to buy a new pair of socks, the ones you bought last time are torn.” Nothing intelligent comes out of your mouth. No plans of making your own life better. Yes you’re are pretty, no doubt about that. But so is every second girl passing by.
Don’t you realise that you’re not doing anything a maid can’t do? When he finishes studying, the first thing he will do is REPLACE HIS MAID. Because then he would be able to afford a maid and have a PROPER WIFE who has brains.
That’s when we are going hear your infamous last words, “I was with him through thick and thin when he had nothing, now that he is successful he thinks I am nothing.” Truth is, yes, you’re right. You’ve always been NOTHING but a maid to him.

My dear, empower yourself to be the woman a successful man wants to have in his life. When God said in Genesis 2:18 that “it is not good for Man to be alone, I will make him a help an help meet for him”, I am sure He didn’t meet helper just in the kitchen or raining children. Make yourself a helper with class. The type of helper that a man that ran business ideas though, the type a man does nothing without consulting, the type whose prayer is the catalyst to her man’s progress. The Bible said in Proverbs 18:22 “whose findeth a wife findeth a good thing….”. Have you made yourself a “good thing” or are you the money sucking, idle, eating, gossiping and lazying around thing.

Remember, be the woman that a man needs not the woman that neess a man. Stand out.

Written from across the border by Jasmine Ofoegbu
Twitter/IG: @prideofafrika

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