How To Become A Virgin Again

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The decision to be celibate until marriage was always taught to me. Embedded in me since I was a young girl. “Wait until marriage” was my sex talk. So I did.

I never got the attention from boys that other girls got, so it was easy to resist temptation. You can resist what you don’t have sometimes.

But honestly, I’ve been sexual since I was little. Sexual images danced through my brain from watching movies and videos that I had no business watching when adults were watching. Masturbation and I have been friends for a while.

So when I got to college, and a guy finally showed me romantic attention, I jumped. I was finally going to get what I’ve always seen others have. People have sex before they even become exclusive. I thought it was a rite of passage.

But all I did was cheapen me. And make me feel wrong. I was no longer pure. But then again have I ever been? He never entered me; but what we did was enough. I’m a virgin on technicality…but who am I in God’s eyes?

Then a couple of years later, I met my ex boyfriend. Same thing, different guy. Not all the way, but enough. It’s sad really. When society makes it seem like having sex before marriage is the best thing ever when all it’s ever done is cause men to not value me.

So now, I’m done. God, you win. I’m giving you the little bit of purity I have left. Take it. Protect it. Protect me.

I’m still a virgin. I’ve been celibate for almost 4 years. But purity is my goal. Purity in thoughts and actions. Not while I’m single, but also in courtship. I need it like I need my last breath. God be with me. Amen

Written by IG handle: @proudvcardholder

Are You Really A Virgin? Like Really!!

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There used to be a time when virginity was generally synonymous to virtue in the culturally scheme of things. Youths especially girls were encouraged to avoid sexual intercourse till marriage because virginity was a pride to the girl’s family, admiration for the future husband and show of self worth for the girl in question.

How has time changed…..

Wester culture education, exposure, social media influence, inquisitiveness, curiosity, stubbornness, peer pressure and in some cases low self esteem has made virginity seem achaic and old fashioned and without value.

Cultural tenets have long slacked on the topic of virginity with religion slowly loosing it’s grip on the subject matter with some preaching abstenance from sex not chastity. Big difference.

It was in this school of thought that I was asked my opinion on getting married to a virgin.

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A broad smile crept up on my face because I expected my response to shock the “asker”.

Then I commenced.

“What is a virginity?” Virginity is defined as a state of never having had sexual intercourse. Emphasis is on ‘never had in sexual intercourse’.

Then I continued…..

“What is sexual intercourse?” It is defined as sexual contact between individuals involving penetration especially the insertion of a man’s erect penis in a lady’s vagina.

Therefore a virgin is someone who hasn’t had vaginal penetration.

But then again, there are many sexual relations that mustn’t culminate in penetration including oral and anal sex, aggresive foreplay, kissing, fondling, caressing, smooching and the likes.

The term ‘virgin’ has long vacated the ranks of defining the sexually naive, and inexperienced folks with some virgins having more exposure and experience in sexual matters than even their sexually active counterparts.

Click HERE to read the article “Understanding Virginity and The 5 Types of Virgins” for more information on the subject matter.

So the right question has evolved from “would you marry a virgin?” to “would you marry a chaste virgin?”

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Whereas virginity is abstinence from sexual intercourse, chastity on the other hand is refraining from any form of genital sexual relations, inappropriate touching, anal/oral sex, kissing, immodest or inappropriate conversations, viewing of pornography, masturbation and even sexual fantasizing.

Virginity can no longer be used as a yardstick in judging purity and virtue in out ever evolving world. But where virginity is failing, chastity has risen to the occasion.

Remember, it’s no longer “are you a virgin?”, it’s now “are you a chaste virgin?”. Big difference.

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What GIRL POWER Really Means

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We need to tell our girls that “GIRL POWER” has absolutely nothing to do with their skin color, boobs, hips or ass size.
It has nothing to do with how big or flat her tummy is or how beautiful her face looks.
It has nothing to do with how many guys compliment her or how many girls despise her.
It has nothing to do with her grades in school or the caliber of clothes on your body.

“GIRL POWER” is that attribute that God deposited in women that helps men survive.
It’s that intuition that makes a woman know when something is going wrong even before a man figures it out.
It’s that ability to multi-task that can make a man go mad if he tried it.
It’s that warm receptive nature that makes even the coldest of men feel warm in her embrace.
It’s that motherly grit that makes a woman take care of children, work, cook and do domestic chores all the same time.
It’s that loving sacrifice that makes a woman give up her job/career to build up her family.
It’s that love and humility that makes a woman handle pressure internally and externally just to help her family stand.
It’s that forgiveness that would make a lady defend a man that has failed to defend her.

When girls are told to “use what they have to get what they want”, it should never about using her body. It should entail using her God given attributes to achieve her God given position.

Remember, the only time it is allowed for a woman to be under a man is during sex. Never feel inferior to any man. You are superior to men that’s why God used a rib to create woman not the dust He used to create man.

Woman Power is powerful. Never be made to feel inferior.
Never ever ever!!!!!

Follow on IG: @kingkurtissmitblog for more motivational writeups

 

 

 

 

How To Toast A Guy Like A Pussy

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“I have waited for him to make the move but he hasn’t. When is it okay for a girl to chase a guy?” she asked. I really thought she was asking a rhetorical question but there was nothing rhetorical about the look on her face. She looked frustrated and in love at the same time.

I have seen many ladies in this very uncomfortable position before. For a guy, he likes a girl and goes after her but for a lady, society has made it no so straightforward. She likes a guy but has to buy her time and wait for him to make the move. If he doesn’t, she dies in silence or risk making the move and selling herself short.

So is it ever okay for a girl to do the chasing?

As my hilariously blessed Pastor would say “No” with this a very funny example.
In his words (paraphrased emphatically), “men are like hunters who go about hunting for the attention and affection of women. A guy sees a lady he likes, he plans, strategizes, sharpens his weapon (humor, money, style etc), waits for the right opportunity and makes the move to get her attention. If he succeeds he then proceeds to win her over with affection and if that works too, he proceeds to boast about his new babe to his friends.

A hunter sees an antelope and same with the guy hunting for love plans his strategy, aims his weapon, waits for the right time and baaaaam, he shots the antelope dead. He walks up to the antelope, admires his catch, takes it home, boasts to his fellow hunters and family about his catch and devours the animal.

So what if this hunger goes to the forest to hunt for an antelope, doesn’t find one then gets home and finds an antelope had walked into his kitchen. The antelope put a pot on the fire, jumps inside and sprinkles seasoning, salt, and the necessary ingredients on itself and covers the pot.
If you were in the hunter’s shoes, what would you do? Be grateful to God for a free meal or run away? You guess is as good as mine.

This is exactly what girls do when they chase a guy. You appear as the crazy antelope.

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Why should girls never chase guys?
1. It’s ungirly: It’s a man’s position to toast a girl not the other way around. Remember when Adam saw Eve for the first time, he toasted her by saying “she is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”. Eve didn’t say a word. She just listened and smiled. So when next you are pressured to make the move, ask yourself “what would Eve do?”. Read “8 Reasons Men Chase After Women”

2. You loose your advantage: A girl’s advantage over any guy asking is her feelings. The guy has already made his feelings known to her but she’s yet to make hers known to him which keeps him on his toes. If she was to make the move, she hands over the advantage to the guy. A very sad place for any girl to be. Trust me.

3. She looks desperate: As with the hunter analogy, making the move cuts her out as desperate and as with guys, they smell desperation from a mile away. Most will take her for granted, give her what she wants (attention and fake love), get what they want and leave her hanging.

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So how does a girl make the move?
Now this is the part with the meaty stuff. I said a girl shouldn’t chase a guy but I never said a girl shouldn’t make a guy chase her.
Let’s take a look at the pussy cat.
During heat, female cats are open to mating and therefore attract individuals of the opposite sex.
Female cats who are in heat generally make it obvious to others, often to a frustrating degree. Urine spraying often signifies the heat cycle — an action that is intended to communicate breeding status to males. Cats in heat also often act in especially loving and sweet ways, often through touching the people in their lives or by simply staying close to them.

So for a female cat in heat to attract suitors, she doesn’t just fold her hands and wait for male cats to approach her neither does she make the first move.  She simply makes herself available, sprays urine everywhere to give the male cats signals and becomes extra nice to everyone around her.

As with girls. Instead of making the move. Make yourself noticeable to the guy you like. If you both are students, borrow his books or tell him to explain something you don’t understand. If you both are co-workers, always “run into him” at the canteen, ask for a favour, help with something he needs. If you see a guy you like at an outing, walk pass him and smile, maintain eye contact, ask him to take you and your friends a picture with your phone. In everything you do, make himself available and as the pussy, throw urine everywhere. Guys will catch up.
Also remember the female pussy is extra nice when she’s on heat. Be extra nice to him. Not in an intrusive way but very subtle so as not to be seen as desperate.

Really, there is no hard and fast rule to getting a guy’s attention but in all that you do, don’t jump on his laps because you like him. Don’t be the stupid antelope, be the wise pussy.

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UPDATE: A friend asked a follow up question after reading this article, she inquired “when do guys start preferring the lady does the chasing?”.
My answer is “Never. Guys would never prefer a lady does the chasing. It makes her appear desperate. Guys love “green light”. You like him, don’t take the lead, make him that the lead by giving him the necessary “I like you’ signals. Set traps. If a guy lets you chase him, then he doesn’t want her. If he really does, he will man up and do what’s necessary. Kapish?

The Woman – A Man’s Multiplier: The Article Every Girl Must Read (Part 3)

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When God made man all those years ago, He realized that man could not survive on Earth alone so He created woman from the rib of man to HELP man.To make a woman’s task much easier, God implanted in woman the nurturing genes lacking in man. Below are a few of them:

1. Sperm to Baby: The most beautiful aspect of a woman’s gift is the ability to nurture a child in her womb. That’s the most significant of the anatomy of a woman that stands her out from a man. A man’s job is to give the sperm to the woman and she does the rest. She has the egg that the sperms fertilize, she has the womb where the embryo is formed and the baby grows. She has the birth canal where the baby comes out from after 9 months. She has the breasts to feed the baby. No woman, no child.

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Mother and daughter (1-3) smiling, close-up

2. Suspicion to Fact: One of the most significant gifts God deposited in a woman is the gift of intuition. Intuition is the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. It’s that inner feeling, that prevailing thought that tells you something isn’t right before any signs even appear. It’s a magical force that prevails in women way before men can catch on.
A woman can sense something is amiss or something just isn’t right about a business deal or someone way before a man can. A smart man brings his wife into his business dealings to utilize this special gift for his profiting.

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3. House to Home: Women have a knack of transforming a house to a home. A house is a building whereas a home is a body. A woman transforms a man from a bachelor to a groom, from a groom to a husband, from a husband to a father, from a father to a dad. When a man gives a woman a house, she transforms it into a home.

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4. Money to Food: The Bible made a specific statement that binds food and money together, which says “no food for a lazy man”. Therefore for a man to eat, he needs to work. After working, he brings the proceeds to his wife who transforms the hard cash to a delicious meal for consumption. There is a significance of a woman cooking for her husband. No woman should ever be too busy to cook for her husband or delegate the responsibility to a house help or a cook. Feeding a man is more spiritual than we think.

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5. Love to Respect: While advising men and women in Ephesians about marriage, Paul said in Ephesians 5:22-33 “women respect your husbands and men love your wives”. Significantly, verse 33 depicts the arrangement which says “man love your wife as you love yourself AND wife respect your husband”. This means that a man is mandated to love his wife to get her respect. Love is the seed while respect is the harvest. Most men demand respect whereas they have failed to sow love. Quote me anywhere, its only a witch that would disrespect a man that loves her like he loves himself. Love your wife and you will get her respect effortlessly.

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6. Attention to Loyalty: Women are like babies, give them attention and you will receive loyalty in return. Deprive them of attention and you will get a disgruntled, nagging, unhappy and in many cases a fornicating wife. One of the biggest reasons for a woman cheating in her marriage is when her husband deprives her of the attention she so dearly craves. Attention could be emotional, physical, psychological and even sexual. No man should ever be too busy for his wife. Work is not an excuse.

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7. Foreplay to Good sex: A woman’s sexual anatomy is like an engine that needs lubrication to function properly. Sexually a man just needs to think of sex to be in the mood for sex. A woman on the other hands doesn’t work that way. She needs to be coerced slowly into the mood for sex through foreplay. The problem is men don’t have the patience. Foreplay could include washing the dishes for her. Helping her around the house. Preparing a meal for her. Giving her a massage. Watching her favorite show with her. A man who dedicates time for foreplay with his wife is bound to have a very satisfactory sex life with her.

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8. Proper Care to Stunning Looks: Are you aware that no woman is ugly? Because it all depends on the care she is given. Take a village girl to a loving and caring man and watch him transform her to a queen. He cleans her up from head to toe (hair extensions, makeup, nails, eyebrows etc), dresses her up with expensive dresses and places her in a tinted AC blowing Range Rover Sport. Can that kind of woman be ugly?”
Simply put, a man that wants to see the beauty in his woman should do his part: take care of her adequately.

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9. Ideas to Reality: A woman is like a business idea oven which only smart men are aware of and utilize. A man comes to his wife with a business idea, she helps him refine it, she prays with him over it, she uses her intuition (God given) to sieve through the idea, she adds her own and in no time, that idea becomes a full blown business. A wife is a man’s biggest business partner/adviser.

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10. Child to Adult: When a child is born, he or she is born empty. Then the mother begins the task of building her baby into a worthy human being. She breastfeeds the child, instills discipline into the child, inculcates morale into the child,teaches the child her language, builds the child’s spiritual capacity. A child usually becomes a reflection of his/her upbringing in the hands of his/her parents especially the mother.
The man prepares a worthy platform, conducive home and available resources for the upbringing of his children, the woman is usually the major stakeholder in the raising of a child. If the first woman (mother) fails, it makes the life of the second woman (wife) harder in the future.

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The Creation of Woman: The Article Every Girl Must Read (Part 2)

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Photo credit: Michel Angelo

The following conversation *hopefully* occurred between God and the angels during the creation of the man in Genesis 1 and 2.

God: So my people, we are almost done with creation but I have this gut feeling that something is still missing.

Angel Michael: Father, you have done a god job in my book.

Angel Gabriel: Father, I agree with Mike, all You have created is wonderful and I am still in awe.

God: Thank you but I still feel something is missing.

Angel Thomas: Father may I speak?

God: Go on Tom.

Angel Thomas: Let’s take stock of what has been created so we know the next step to take.
Father, on the first day, You made light out of darkness and called the light day and darkness night.
On the second day, You created the Heaven while on the third day you divided the land from the seas.
On the fourth day, You created the sun, the moon and the stars.
On the fifth day, You created the birds of the sky and the creatures in the sea.
Today alone, You have made the beast of the earth and every animal.
Father, in my honest opinion, You have done a magnificent job. I think it’s time You rest (Genesis 1: 1-25)

God: Well, everything I have created is good (Genesis 1:25c) but something is missing. You know what?

The Angels: What father?

God: Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping animal that creepeth upon the earth.

The Angels: Yes boss. Good idea.

God: Angel Gabriel, gather the other angels to go to the store house and get the wheel burrows and shovels and get me sand from the back of the barn.

Angel Gabriel: Consider it done Father.

*Angel Gabriel mobilizes the angels and tons of sand and water are brought for God to form man.

*God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul*

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Photo credit: Edwin Lester

God: This man can’t just be idle doing nothing. Let’s give him a job.

*And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden, to dress it, and to keep it*

Angel Gabriel: Father, although Adam is doing his job faithfully but he looks very lonely and uncoordinated. If you live him alone, in no time he will think he is an animal and start behaving like them.

God: Ehmmmmmmmmmm. You are very right on that. It is not good that the man should be alone: I will make him a help meet for him. Someone that will help him become better. Someone that will refine him from the raw material he is to the finished product I want him to be. Someone that will empower him. Someone that will guide and pray for him. Someone weaker physically but stronger emotionally.

Angel Gabriel: All these characteristics for one person. Can one person take all these responsibilities?

God: Of course. I will make her as soft as a pillow but so strong mentally that she can handle a thousand heartbreaks and not crack. She will be made more beautiful, more precious, more powerful than the man.

Angel Gabriel: Okay Sir. Let me go and inform the other angels that we need a bigger load of sand to make this special being You have spoken of.

God: Gabby please come back. We are not going to be using sand to form this special being. She’s too special for sand to do her justice. I am going to use the man’s rib to create her.

Angel Gabriel: But God, how can we use a rib to create this being you have spoken so highly of? Rib from who?

God: Adam of course. You remember when we created him, we put ribs around his body to protect the vital organs like his heart, lungs and liver from external damage. So we will take one of those ribs and create this special being. I could have used any bone to create her but only the rib of Adam will be good enough to form her.

*And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept; and  took one of his ribs and He made woman*

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Photo credit: Edwin Lester

Angel Michael: Oh my God!!!!

God: Why are you calling me?

Angel Michael: Sorry Father. That’s an exclamation. I am only admiring this special creation of yours.

God: You like her?

Angel Gabriel: She’s beautiful

Angel Michael: She’s stunning

Angel Edafe: She make sense die!!

Angel Kairos: She’s baaaaaad!!!!!!!

God: Enough with the compliments. She’s beautiful on the outside but even more beautiful is what I am going to deposit inside her.
I will make her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world; yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I will give her inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from men and the outside World.
I will give her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I will give her the sensitivity to love under all circumstances, even when her partner is an asshole.
I will give her the strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I will give her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
I will give her a tear to shed, it’s hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.
The beauty of this being is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, the size of her breasts or bottom or the way she does her makeup or how she combs her hair. The beauty of this woman is in the resolve I have deposited in her. She’s never be compared to a man. It’s an insult to all my hard work. Am I understood?

The Angels: YES SIR.

God: Make sure you protect her even more than you protect the man. Am I understood?

The Angels: YES SIR.

God: Now let’s wake Adam and see what he says about this specially created human being.

*God wakes Adam up from the deep sleep. Adam looks around, sees her and says*

Adam: This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.

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Photo credit: Jehovah Witness

Reference: Why Women Cry? by Unknown from http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com/why-do-women-cry.html

Truth or Myth: Husband and Boyfriend Snatching

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Ladies come closer. Oya draw your ears……

See eh. There is nothing like husband/boyfriend/sugar daddy snatching. A full grown man cannot be snatched. He is not a handbag in Balogun market.

Unlike your confused hormones, men are not confused. They always know what they want. Even while dating Aisha, Amanda, Atinuke, Abiye, Abasiobong and Amaka. A man knows who among them he is going to marry. Just remember. A man is never confused.

See eh. A man is dating you and maybe thinking of making it permanent and your friend goes to him and tells him you are promiscuous and he decides to end the relationship. Babes stop deceiving yourself. Even though your “friend” (frenemy) overstepped her boundary by disclosing your personal shit to the wrongest person. A man that loves and truly wants you in his life will ask you first and give you a chance to explain yourself. He isn’t holy himself. He leaves means he was not really sure of you, he just needed that one tangible reason to walk away, your village witch head just used your friend to give him that reason.

If he turns his attention to your friend. Brother has been eyeing your friend. He was not snatched, he went with the green light.

Your full grown husband that has been jumping up and down shouting I am your husband sees a hot babe like my girlfriend and come and tells her all the sweet nonsense she likes to hear and both of them (full grownups by the way) decide to engage in bedmatics. Then you tell your pastor that she snatched your husband or you beat her silly and strip her naked? So what will a grown man like me say about your husband? Girlfriend snatcher? Pluzzzzzzzzzzz.

Stop institutionalizing BS. All men do not cheat. The ones who cheat are those who really want to taste whatever is being offered by another woman.

Any man who wants you as much as you want him will never listen to stupid tales from people. Shey all the runs girls you know back in the days are mostly married. Shey it is coconut trees that married them abi are they not men. The men who married them know what they wanted and did not listen to story. Any man listening to story is a man who already is looking for an excuse to leave.

I was sitting with my friend. He is on my BBM list, someone sat him down and gave him a run down of all the men his fiancée had slept with. Said all the BS he knows. When he finished, my friend calmly told the story teller:

“Nwanna, nwata ka bu spec m (My brother, the girl is still my spec)”.

End of story. They are married today and it has been five years he has never complained to me.

Another friend (may his soul rest in peace) left his girlfriend that could die for him because of them said he said. This girl cried. I begged him then to marry the one he knows oh, he said no. The babe moved on, married someone else who heard all that story and did not care. My friend kept searching for a girl who will be like the one he left till he died suddenly.

Stop breaking your own hearts, any man who leaves was meant to leave. Any man who cheats wanted to cheat. It is not about you. Its all about him. He just wanted to do what he did. Simpulu (in Engilibo)

Grown men cannot be snatched, he made a decision that suited him. Don’t kill yourself over it. Don’t drink Sniper over it. Just cry and when you cry (obviously as women you will all cry). When you cry, don’t cry because you miss him, don’t cry because he hurt you, don’t cry because he wasted your time. Cry because God saved your ass from an asshole of a husband. Cry because he lost a jewel in you while picking stones. Then after a day or two of crying. Clean your face, wear your makeup, put on that gorgeous smile, straighten your crown and move on. Shake your bumbum while at it.

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Original article by: Amanda Chisom
Credit: www.lailasblog.com
Rewritten by: Kurtis Smith

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