Understanding Football With Sex


1. Going to your boyfriend’s house without being invited = OFFSIDE

2. Meeting a girl and having sex on the same day = FREE-KICK

3. Condom = GOALKEEPER

4. Condom breaks = PENALTY

5. Abortion = RED CARD


6. A girl with lots of energy = CAPTAIN

7. Having sex without a condom = OWN GOAL

8. Taking a lot of time without coming = MAN OF THE MATCH

9. Sleeping with 3 friends = HAT-TRICK

10. Having so many female friends and sleeping with all = MVP



11. Having sex with your ex = FRIENDLY MATCH

12. 8 years of sex without getting a child = ARSENAL

13. Requesting for more sex after going two rounds =EXTRA TIME

14. Taking it gently when having sex = FAIR PLAY

15. Biting her n!pples = SUAREZ


16. When they won’t stop talking about your relationship: SPECTATORS

17. Asking her ‘how do you want it?’ = Taking instructions on the sideline.

18. A lady using pills after sex and later still got pregnant = DEFENSIVE ERROR

19. Girl being pregnant = GOAL

20. When your friend sleeps with your girlfriend = TRUE PASS


21. Having sex with another girl and your girlfriend catches you = INJURY

22. You and your girl break up= GAME OVER

23. Girl tells you to stop= YELLOW CARD

24. A guy always under performing and making excuses: MOURINHO

25. Missionary position: 4-4-2 (standard) formation


26. After claiming he’s good in bed, ends up being a flop: FALCAO

27. Been forced to stay in a relationship you don’t want to: DE GEA

28. When you and hubby take a break after round one: HALF TIME

29. When she’s tired of his lazy unproductive ass and hooks him up with her good for nothing friend: FREE TRANSFER

30. When he tells you to return everything he bought you because you ended the relationship: TRANSFER FEE.



Adapted and improved from “Understanding Football with Sex” by Unknown Author.

Life Lessons Learnt From The Man Utd vs Chelsea Game


Manchester United have struggled to live up to expectations this season even after forking out over £150 million (₦40 billion) on new players over the summer. A season maligned with a 0-4 destruction at the hands of MK Dons of the League One in the Carling Cup coupled with the 3-5 drubbing at the hands of the newly promoted Leicester City made life very uncomfortable for the new manager, players and the fans alike. Then came the master tactician, the maestro, the special one or as he likes to be called now ‘the happy one’, the enigmatic and confident Jose Mourinho and his all-conquering Chelsea side to Old Trafford. After 90 minutes or to spite Chelsea fans, after 95 minutes, the game ended in a stalemate. The following are lessons learnt from this grand match that could be applied to life.

1. In all things, be grateful: Who would have thought that an English Premier League dominating team over the years like Manchester United would ever be satisfied with a draw against any side at Old Trafford for that matter. But the euphoria surrounding that last gasp Van Persie strike goes to show that as they say “half bread is better than none”. Same with life, we might not be where we envisioned or planned, our so called mates are richer, some married with kids with amazing jobs but remember even then that some of your mates are dead, others are in the hospital. Be grateful to God for garri and He will provide you with sugar, groundnut and even milk. Even a draw might feel like a win a times. Take what you get with gratitude and move on.

2. Never ever give up: I am a Manchester United fan and I must confess that I had almost given up hope of my team finding an equalizer. It was the 92nd minute and I was about leaving the viewing center I was watching the match at when my spirit kept nudging me to stay till the end. The “it’s not over till it’s over” mantra kept resonating in my subconscious and I bullishly sat down expecting a miracle somewhat. A red card followed, a free kick, a header, a save and then. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL.
Never ever give up on your dreams and ambitions no matter what the other team (life’s struggles, the Government, employment rate, your bank account) says. As long as you believe in yourself, you will always have the backing of your God. Keep at it. Keep hitting. Keep kicking. Keep fighting. For even a bullet proof glass might take hours to break but consistent and persistent blow at the same spot will do the trick. Believe in yourself and never give up.

3. Don’t underestimate your opponent: Before the match, no reported or sports journalist gave Man Utd a chance of getting even a point from the match. I am sure inside him, Mourinho himself would have gone with the mindset of a sure victory judging by the formation he deployed. On a normal day, Mourinho doesn’t play Oscar in games away against tough opposition like Manchester City or Liverpool choosing to pair Willian with Ramires instead. But since Ramires didn’t play yesterday, I expected a Mikel or Schuller instead but playing Oscar showed only one thing, he came for a victory. He underestimated Manchester United and it cost him two points.
Your opponent in life could be yourself, not believing in yourself enough. Your opponent could also be the ‘witches in your village’; the people that will do anything under Heaven to make sure you don’t succeed in life. Life is a battle ground and only the strong brave will survive.

4. Even the old guard has something to offer: There aren’t enough superlatives to describe the love and adoration that Chelsea fans have for their Champions League winning hero “Didier Drogba”. The man who has terrorized Premier League teams over the years. A man, whom we never thought we would see playing at Old Trafford again but he came, saw and conquered with a bullet trademark header. Drogba came to prove doubters who thought he was a spent force wrong. In life, we will be confronted with difficult situations/choice/opportunities. There are always people around you with the knowledge and expertise to guide through the difficult patch. For example, no matter how many degrees you have attained or the amount of money you have, when it comes down to the issue of marriage and family, your grandfather is a professor while you are like a primary school dropout. Never become too big to seek advice.

5. Celebrate your victories as though they were your last: The image of RVP removing his shirt, throwing it in the air and shouting like a maniac after he scored the equalizing goal would have got a football novice thinking he had won the Champions League or at least won a cup or something. He didn’t even win the watch with his priceless effort.
In life, you have to learn to celebrate yourself. Celebrate your victories. You make even just ₦50,000 a month, treat yourself good, and take yourself out. Celebrate every triumph in life, the big and even the small ones. Life is an adventure, enjoy yourself while at it.

6. The amount of times you tried and failed doesn’t count: Failure is a process not a destination. Failure is the bus stop on your journey to the land of success. The problem is that most people alight at the failure bus stop because they have had enough and give up. Manchester United would have given up because for goodness sake they toiled for 90 minutes plus and still one behind. They kept pressurizing, kept toiling, kept on crossing, kept on shooting, kept believing until their breakthrough came. You should too.

7. Respect those that showed you the way: So it’s not news that Louis Van Gaal made a certain young Jose Mourinho his right hand man in 1997 while at Barcelona. Fast forward almost 20 years after and the former mentee/assistant manager in Mourinho has won more titles over a shorter space of time and in more countries than his mentor LVG. But seeing the respect Mourinho accorded LVG yesterday by going to hug him before and after the match showed the level of reference, humility and respect it takes to be a high flyer. Learn to respect and honor people that showed you the way.

8. Believe in Fergie time: During the Sir Alex Ferguson era, Man Utd were believed to have a special injury time at Old Trafford were they scored a much needed goal either a winner or an equalizer. This time is tagged “Fergie time”. Yesterday, the mystery of the Fergie time came to bear with his old team scoring an equalizer. Believe that life gives you an extra time. A special Fergie time that affords you the opportunity to correct your wrongs and learn in the process.

9. Take your opportunities in life: The first half of the game saw the mighty Chelsea register just one shot on target. Man Utd were on top in the first half, creating chances but they kept missing them by either blazing efforts wide or shooting tamely at the keeper. Then Chelsea had their opportunity in the second half and took it. A popular saying in life goes thus “Luck is when opportunity meets preparation”. Be always ready because opportunity comes when you least expect it. Take your chances because regret is a baggage you don’t want to carry.

10. Nobody is to blame for your struggles: After the game, Mourinho was quoted as blaming the referee on his team’s draw. He indicated that the red card given to Ivanovic was too soft and his team was denied a clear penalty. He blamed everyone but himself even when he made some obnoxious substitutions. In life, we always seem to blame everyone but ourselves for where we are. Some blame their parents; others blame the school they attended while others blame the Government. You are at fault, take responsibility.


JARA/EXTRA –> Click to watch: A 12 minute HIGHLIGHT of the match.

20 Life Lessons Football Teaches Us (Part 4 of 4)


The World Cup in Brazil commenced last week Friday (12th June) and will run through to Sunday (13th July). It has been a terrific time of football thus far with teams upsetting some big teams. While watching some of the matches, I discovered these life lessons that football teach us. The first fifteen have already been discussed (READ; Lessons 1-5 and Lessons 6-10, Lessons 11-15). We will be looking at the last five in this article.

16. Everyone is gifted: Every footballer has a gift and what makes them unique. Every football has a talent and recognizing what it is and working on improving it is the gateway to success as a footballer. Cristiano Ronaldo’s gift is his pace, skills, shooting and heading ability. Messi’s gift is his trickery, speed, confidence on the ball. Jay Jay Okocha’s gift is his flamboyance on the ball and dribbling skills. Rio Ferdinand’s gift is his coolness on the ball and confidence. I could go on and on by naming footballers and their gifts but the point is all footballers are gifted with something that makes them unique.
In life, we are ALL GIFTED. We have something that makes us unique. Its not dependent on your result in school, or your family background, or your past rate of failure. Your gift might not be academically inclined (that’s why you do bad in school). Your gift could be drawing, photography, writing, singing, dancing, cooking or baking. Your gift could also be sports related, maybe you are a good footballer, basketballer, table tennis player, chess player or a good athlete. You are gifted and not less special than the first class graduate, top class lawyer, big doctor. What’s your gift? Discover it.

17. Have a winning mentality: Let’s imagine two sets of players. The first group go into a match not believing they can beat the other team, they believe the other team has better players and a better coach, they believe they have no chance of victory. The second team go into the match believing they can win the match, they believe in their team and the manager’s instructions, they believe nothing can stop them from winning the game. Which team do you think will come out successful? The answer is obvious. One team has a negative mentality while the other has a positive mentality.
We have to enter life with a winning mentality. We have to believe we can do it. We have to believe we can conquer life’s battles. We have to believe we can make it happen no matter the cost. We have to believe nothing will get us down and no one can make us feel worthless and derail us from life’s path. Believe in yourself.

18. Learn from every game: After every game whether win or lose, the coach studies tapes of the match to analyze what they did right, what they did wrong, what they should improve on and what they should maintain.
The players are encourages to watch the tapes especially if they lost the match, so as to identify what went amiss and fix it before the next match.
In life, we should endeavor to learn from our mistakes and don’t let it affect us. We should also learn from our victories in a bid to improve on it. Life is an educational journey and we should continuously strive to improve.

19. Don’t be a spectator: Are you aware that only 22 players (11 on each side) play a football game and as much as a billion people watch the matches? About 30,000 plus watch as spectators in the stadium while billions watch as viewers or fans. At the end of the day, only the players get the prize, only the footballers get paid, only the footballers get recognized. In fact, the money accrued from the fans through gate fees, sale of jersies, satellite tv fees, sale of mechandise are used to pay the footballers. Spectators do the shouting and supporting while the footballers do the playing.
Don’t be a spectator in life. Don’t watch as your friends and colleagues succeed in life and you just stand there either cheering them or beefing them. Be the player and make things happen. Remember only the player gets the prize. Be a player today.

20. Perseverance: Perseverance is simply not giving up. When footballers play, they never give up because they know they can score anytime. They keep at it, they keep shooting, they keep tackling, they keep passing, they keep fighting until they score and win the game.
We will be faced with difficult circumstances, we will cry, we will smile, we will be tired, we will want to give up, we will seek help, we will be happy, we will be sad, we will be encouraged, we will be discouraged. All these and more will come but NEVER GIVE UP. Persevere to the end because its all gonna be worth it when you succeed.


20 Life Lessons Football Teaches Us (Part 3 of 4)

destroy clubs

The World Cup in Brazil commenced last week Friday (12th June) and will run through to Sunday (13th July). It has been a terrific time of football thus far with teams upsetting some big teams. While watching some of the matches, I discovered these life lessons that football teach us. The first ten have been discussed (READ; Lessons 1-5 and Lessons 6-10). For the purpose of this article, we will be looking at the next five.

11. Time: Every football match is played in the confines of 90 minutes including stoppage time (added time) to make up for time lost during the match. No matter how rich they are or famous they are or influential they are, they cannot buy more time to play a football match. Its either you make use of the 90 minutes allotted time positively or negatively.
In life, we have an allotted time for everything we do. There is a time to go to Primary school, time for Secondary school, time for University, time to read and time to sleep, time to eat and time to defecate, time to love and be loved and ultimately time to live and time to die. Make use of time properly because everyone has the same 24 hours. Don’t waste yours.

12. Pledge your allegiance: Every footballer plays under a body whether a country or a club. When it comes to playing for your country as a footballer you have to believe in your country, love your country and decide to do your best for your country. I am yet to see a footballer that hates his country or club and still gives it all his best to make the team win. Even in business, I am yet to see a successful person that despises his/her country. Dangote loves Nigeria, Bill Gates loves USA, Oprah loves her country and many more billionaires like them love and invest in their respective countries.
If you are going to succeed, pledge your allegiance to your country. Love your country with all your heart whether its in crisis or not. Loving your country comes with a blessing from God that I can’t explain.

13. Respect to authority (Referee): A referee is someone that takes charge of a football match and makes decisions that could affect the match both positively or negatively. The referee has the final say over what happens on the field of play. The referee is supposed to be impartial to both teams. A referee is someone on the pitch that chases the ball around all match but never gets to it..lol. In life, we have different referees at different points in our lives. The referees could be our parents, family, friends, bosses, lecturers, spouse and mentors. We should learn to respect authority. Don’t disrespect people that are put by God to correct you when you go astray.

14. God comes first: I have noticed that footballers are very spiritual people. They always believe in a deity. Some believe in the Almighty God while others believe in their small gods but the point is that they believe that there is someone up there that would make their hard work and talent work for them and bring them victory. For example the Nigerian team has daily prayers to seek Divine intervention. They pray both individually and as a team. They pray on their way to the stadium to play the match. They pray in the dressing room as they prepare for the match. They pray as they get on the pitch before the match. They pray during halftime and also after the match. This shows that they are well aware that without God all they do on the pitch would be a waste of time and effort. We need to put God first in everything we do. We wake up in the morning and dedicate the day to Him by prayer and devotion (reading The Holy Book). Whatever decision you want to make, please make sure you consult God. As footballers do before every match, pray to God and He will see you through.

15. Don’t look down on people: When a big star studded team plays against a smaller team. They have the confidence that they can win the game because they are better than the other team. But the biggest mistake a big team can make is look down on the opponent and underestimate them. This could lead to complacency and they might end up defeated.
In life, we should never underestimate people, we should never look down on people. Everyone has something to teach you because no one knows it all. Be open minded and not block headed. Only foolish people think they know it all. Someone once said “The wise man knows he knows nothing, the fool thinks he knows all”. While William Shakespeare added “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool”. Remember everyone knows something you don’t know. Be open minded to learn.

Continuation: 20 Life Lessons Football Teaches Us (Part 4 of 4)

20 Life Lessons Football Teaches Us (Part 2 of 4)

osaze odemwingie

The World Cup in Brazil commenced last week Friday (12th June) and will run through to Sunday (13th July). It has been a terrific time of football thus far with teams upsetting some big teams and our own Super Eagles of Nigeria making us proud thus far. While watching some of the matches, I discovered these life lessons that football teach us. The first five were discussed last time (READ HERE). For the purpose of this article, we will be looking at the next five.

6. Block your fears: When I was in JSS2, my class goalkeeper left the school so we needed to replace him because we had a football match coming up. I was the tallest in class so I decided to try out for the position. From that day till my SS2, I moved from JSS2’s goalkeeper to JSS3’s goalkeeper to Junior school’s goalkeeper and then to the ultimate; the school’s goalkeeper. The most important lesson I learnt as a goalkeeper is to make sure the ball doesn’t get to the back of the your net at all costs whether you use your hands, your leg, your stomach, your head, even your face, just don’t let the opponent score a goal.
In life, your opponent is your fears, the people that don’t believe in you, the people that said you will not amount to anything, circumstances, your bad result in school, your past bad experiences. You are the keeper of your heart and your mission is to make sure negativity, fears, past mistakes don’t get pass you in the net (your heart and mind). Be a goal keeper and keep away negativity.

7. Make changes: When a football match is going on there are 11 players on each team. These players are instructed by the coach of the team to play according to a formation which could be 4-4-2, 4-3-2-1, 4-5-1 etc. This formation determines how the team set ups, how they attack and how they defend. This formation is strictly adhered to by each player on the team until the coach decides to change it. On the bench are substitutes who are brought on to the pitch during a match in exchange for an existing player. Substitutions are generally made to replace a player who has become tired or injured, or who is not performing well; or for tactical reasons.
We have tactics that we use in the fulfillment of our dreams. If one tactics is not working, change it. Sometimes we make changes out of external influence, peer pressure, “following the crowd” or fear. Before we change our tactics we need to ask the creator of the Universe (God). With His advice, you can never go wrong. Substitutes on the other hand are friends. Friendship they say is not by force but by choice. Friendship should add to you and not remove from you or even leave you the same way. If you have friends that only draw from your resources (mental, financial, emotional, physical and financial) and not adding to you then its time you make new friends. Remember, friendship is not by force. Make substitutions when someone is not helping you fulfill your dreams.

8. Only goals matter: There are various statistics collated during a football match including; possession, shots on target, shots off target, shots blocked, saves made, corners taken, yellow cards, red cards etc but ultimately the most important of the statistics is goals scored. No matter how much possession a team has or chances created, if they don’t out score the other team then they would lose the match.
In life, your goals (dreams) are all that matters. The amount of times you tried and failed doesn’t count for anything, the amount of times you missed the target doesn’t matter, the amount of times you were looked down on doesn’t matter, how old you are doesn’t matter, how emotional you are doesn’t matter. All that matters at the end of the day is; did you score enough goals to win the match i.e Did you score enough goals to achieve your dreams. Please be focused on achieving the goals on your way to your dreams.

9. Delay is dangerous: Let me paint this picture in your mind. Let’s imagine a footballer on the pitch with the ball, he keeps the ball, dribbles past all the players, dribbles even the goalkeeper and is faced with the post to score the goal but instead of shooting the ball, he begins to think, analyze, strategize and evaluate and then the opponent gets back and takes the ball from him.
This is exactly what most people do in life, we analyze too much and take action few times. Analysis they say leads to paralysis. Plan and run with the plan. Don’t waste time planning, planning and planning without taking action. Delay is dangerous.

10. Celebrate your triumphs: I remember playing as a striker for my class team against another class in the University. The game was 0-0 and then I scored. That feeling when you score a goal, not even sex can give you that feeling. Its a feeling of greatness, a feeling like you are on top of the World, a feeling like you are the boss. I ran across the field, danced at the corner while my teammates rushed and hugged me. Mehn, I miss that feeling. Have you seen footballers celebrate their goals? Some celebrate by taking off their shirts (e.g Ronaldo and Balotelli), others summersault (e.g Obafemi Martins), while others run and shake the coach (e.g Robin Van Persie against Spain). There is no better feeling on the field of play than scoring a goal.
When we score goals in life, when we accomplish set targets, when we make things happen, when we surprise ourselves, when we get promoted, when we win a contract, when we get a job, when we pass an exam please endevour to celebrate. Life is too short to take it too serious. Be free, don’t be rigid. Enjoy life, don’t let life enjoy you.

Continuation: 20 Life Lessons Football Teaches Us (Part 3 of 4)

20 Life Lessons Football Teaches Us (Part 1 of 4)

football problems

The World Cup in Brazil commenced last week Friday (12th June) and will run through to Sunday (13th July). It has been a terrific time of football thus far with teams upsetting some big teams (sorry Spain and Portugal fans..lol) while surprises are springing up everywhere. While watching some of the matches, I discovered these life lessons that football teach us.

1. Everyone is chasing one thing: I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine about football. She obviously knew my love for the game but what puzzled her was the fact that 22 grown up men would be chasing after one ball. According to her, the ball was the real star not the players. In her words “if 22 men are chasing a fine girl like me, please whose the star; me or them?”. In football everyone is after one thing; victory so they chase after one thing; the ball. In life everyone is after one thing; success so they chase after one thing; their dreams. If you don’t have the ball, you can’t score in football. In life, if you don’t have dreams then you can’t succeed. No one in his right mind wants to be a failure, no one wants to be poor, no one wants to be disrespected. What are your dreams and what are you doing to make them a reality.

2. Be a team player: If you know a little about European club football then you would know that Real Madrid won the Champions League in May this year. During their run to the title, one player stood out from the rest and that was Cristiano Ronaldo. He scored the most goals with 17 goals in 11 matches (the highest goal tally in the competition ever) but who won the cup? Cristiano Ronaldo? No! The whole team.
In life especially in business, we can’t work alone. We need to be embed in a team with people working with different strengths for the good of the team. The team might have a star man but without other men he can’t function properly. Learn to be a team player, its not all about you. Someone has something to teach you. Be open minded and learn.

3. Everyone is a leader: A football team is made up of group of leaders. The coach is the number one leader. He trains the team, disciplines them when he deems fit, chooses the players for each match, determines the tactics deployed in each game etc. Another leader is the captain of the team. He’s the leader on the pitch. He fights for the right of the entire team with the referee and gives out instructions. But for me the most important leader in the team is the player with the ball. When a player is with the ball, he becomes the leader because everything that happens with that ball at his feet is dependent on him. If he shoots the ball over the post, it affects the whole team. If he scores the goal, it affects the whole team. In life, you are your own leader, don’t let anyone control your life, tell you what to do and how to dream. You need advice from people from time to time but don’t live life by their rules but yours. Be a self-leader.

4. Be prepared always: Football is far more than what we see on the pitch during the game. The preparation put in before each game is even more than during the game itself. Before a team comes out to play 90 minutes of football, they have had to endure over 500 minutes of training on the training ground. They endure hours in the gym to build their physique. They endure hours watching previous matches of their opponents. They wake up early to undertake various exercises. So even when a player is called from the bench during a game, he is fit and ready.
How prepared are you in life. If you are faced with an opportunity, are you prepared for it or are you waiting for the opportunity to show itself before you prepare. Have you spent countless hours on the training ground (your room/office/library) preparing your self for the opportunities ahead. According to the Roman Philosopher Seneca “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity”. Be ever ready.

5. Fight for your right: In football, you don’t get the ball from an opponent because you asked for it, neither do you get the ball from an opponent because you deserve it. You get the ball from an opponent because you fought for it. You collected the ball from him, you didn’t plead with him for it, you didn’t cajole him, you didn’t bribe him with a smile. You knew you wanted the ball and you went after it until you got it.
Life works this way. You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you desire. You don’t make it because you are beautiful or handsome, you don’t make it because you have the best degrees, you don’t make it even because you are smart. You make it because you are determined to fight for that ball (your dream) and no one is gonna stop you from achieving that. Not the economy, not your family situation, not circumstances. No one I say!

Continuation: 20 Life Lessons Football Teaches Us (Part 2 of 4)

For Ladies Only: All Men Are Players


All men are born players and yes I mean football players but it all depends on the position which they play. (By the way, the guys above are Italian footballers, so ladies please take it easy with the picture oo..lol).
A guy’s dating life is like football and for those that don’t understand the game football here is a brief explanation.
Football is a game developed in 1863 in London,England. It is primarily played by 22 players (11 on each side) chasing around a ball with a mission to score at the opponents goal.
Football players are simply grouped into 4 groups: Goalkeepers, Defenders, Mid-fielders and Centre Forward (Strikers) and their responsibilities on the field of play vary.

team positions
For the purpose of this piece, we will make certain assumptions:
1. A girl is the goal post.
2. Every man is a type of player on the field.
3. Scoring at the opponent’s net means cheating.

Now let’s explore the kind of player guys are:
1. Goalkeeper: In football, a goalkeeper stays in front of the goalpost at all times to keep the ball from entering the post. In relationships, goalkeepers are the type of guys that love and are very protective over their spouse. They are the most faithful kind of guys to date/marry and would never cheat on their woman under any circumstance. The only downside is that they are too jealous and don’t usually support their girl’s dreams and aspirations and would prefer their wife as a housewife not a career woman where they can have their eyes on them at all times.


2. Defenders: In football, defenders can be subdivided into fullbacks and centre backs. The centre back is a player that defends the goal post to aid the goalkeeper but they go forward to try and score goals for the team on rare occasions.  In relationships, centre backs are like goalkeepers, they love, protect and cherish their girlfriends but the difference is that they are more supportive of their girlfriend’s dreams and aspirations than the goalkeeper kind of guy.
The only catch is they are more likely to cheat on their woman than the goalkeeper kind of guy. They never seek to cheat but if opportunity presents itself, the temptation might be too good to resist. On the other hand, fullbacks are also termed defenders but they go forward more often than centre backs to help the team score goals.
In relationships, fullbacks have the same characteristics as the centre backs but the only difference is they cheat more often than the fullback often with so called “understandable reasons” like she is far from him or she is a virgin.


3. Mid-fielders: In football, there are 3 types of mid-fielders; side (wingers), offensive and defensive mid-fielders.
The wingers are the type of footballers that thrive going forward to assist the striker score goals and score themselves if the opportunity presents itself.
In relationships, these kind of guys are flirts, they have a loving girlfriend/wife but most times flirt with other girls mostly for the thrill of it. The defensive midfielder in football supports the defenders more than attack. In relationships, these kind of guys love, care and support their girlfriend/wife like the defender but sometimes they get carried away into having an affair. The last type of mid-fielders are the offensive mid-fielders, they support the striker more times than any other player on the pitch. They are in relationships but don’t have a sentimental attachment to their woman, they don’t love deeply and date most times for the fun of it.


4. Strikers: In football, the striker’s job is simple: SCORE GOALS.
In relationships, the striker is simply the player. They don’t have a girlfriend but would strike down any girl on sight. Mark my words, a striker never gets married, according to them they are always “not ready” but when he decides to settle down he changes from being a striker to another position on the pitch.

Arsenal's Henry holds aloft the Golden Boot trophy at HighburyYou are dating a player, it is now your responsibility to find out what type of player he is.