What IF banana FALL on you today?

 

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What IF I told you that banana would FALL on you now, what would you say? Lol.

The Nigerian music scene has been laden with so much sexual innuendo that one can’t help but flinch when eating fruits these days.

No fruit or plant has escaped musicians wrath with cassava, cucumber, banana, eggplant all caught in their sexually explicit lingua franca.

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These sexual undertones have endeared most to these artists and their songs but taking a deeper look into the male organ, what do women really have to say about its size and usage?

In an impromptu survey conducted on a group of 10 friends, ‘size matters’ came up tops for 5 participants, 4 went for ‘usage’ while the last one went for something I never heard in my life (we will discuss that much later).
In the view of the ‘size matters’ advocates, as long as the size of a man’s organ isn’t big enough for the width of a woman’s vagina, no matter how good he is, she won’t reach sexual climax.

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The 4 people championing the course for ‘usage’ however insist that size does in fact matter with one going as far as quoting the preacher, Myles Munroe who said “when the purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable”. In the words of two ‘usage’ advocates; “Size doesn’t matter. Some sizes could be big and still not function properly so what matters is how skilled the owner is at using it. Size only adds to the feeling”.

However, out of the 10 people questioned, whereas five chose ‘size’ and four opted for ‘usage’, one stood out completely. The purpose of this article is looking at her very interesting view on the subject matter.

In Halimat’s opinion, size doesn’t matter and usage doesn’t really matter, ‘aura’ matters.
In her words “It all depends on the mind and desire. The mind works in mysterious ways. It creates the picture and sends to the brain which in return produces hormones. For this reason a person can be sexually attracted to a woman who is endowed without her necessarily using that endowment in bed. It’s all about the mind of an individual not the size or usage of the joystick”.

 

It took me a while to understand her point of view but then it hit me.

A girl can fall for the body of a man who’s not good in bed and with a small organ because her mind has taken her satisfaction from the actual sex to the aura surrounding him. Only his hands over her, his kisses, his touch, his tongue, his words, his sweat, his energy makes her achieve climax. Her mind has rewired her brain from the ‘size’ and ‘usage’ mentality to the ‘aura’ mentality. Makes total sense.

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Just like a car owner who loves a particular car, dreams of the car, craves for the car only to get the car and find out that it consumes too much fuel or doesn’t drive as he had wished fast. His love for the car would require his brain to ignore the other elements not working to his taste.

Same way a girl can love a guy that cheats but still stay in the relationship because he takes good care of her and makes her happy.
The same way a man can stay with a lady girl in bed because her booty is made of silicon.

Same way a girl can become a single mother for Davido just because of the aura (fame, money, influence, power, personality) he carries around with him.
Think about it.

So when next you are asked the question, does size matter. Maybe your answer should be, ‘no, size doesn’t matter, aura does’.

On a different note, maybe we are just crazy and might never know what women really want…lol

'will design for food 2'

When The Pen is The Right Size

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Looking back at my early teenage years growing up, one event remains ever vivid in my memory and shaped my perception of sex forever.

I don’t know if I would tag what happened that fateful day a cruel punishment or a sick joke but what transpired between my roommates and the “evil seniors” was hella cruel.

We had just finished eating dinner in the hostel and had gone to the hostel to sleep when a senior called for a junior from our room for whatever purpose known to him.

A Senior simply had to say “Junior come to my room” and available juniors in that room were to rush to the senior with immediate alacrity.

So senior says “Junior come to my room” and everyone including myself pretends to be sleeping. Senior proceeds to the room, wakes everyone up and matches us to his room for punishment.

Senior and his mates with their sick sense of humor proceeds to humiliate us by making us all remove our trousers and for them to examine our dicks.

Every boy’s private part was scrutinized with small James a butt of most of their jokes.
“Will this one even impregnate a girl? With his penis like pencil” one said while the others laughed.

We were barely 13 years old so you can imagine the embarrassment on our innocent faces.

The biggest dicks were allowed to go back to the room unpunished while the ones with the smallest dicks were to be whipped with belts and made to wash all the seniors clothes.

That experience invariably implanted the notion that the bigger a man’s dick, the more manly he is and the more attractive he was to girls. Simple.

But (a big but actually), becoming sexually active has taught me something drastically different about the “the bigger the better” notion.

When I was younger, I never gave much thought to the size of my penis. I was well endowed growing up and I was very pleased with what nature had given me, I expected my partners to be happy with it, too.

Wrong!!!

Sex isn’t meant to be unpleasant and I didn’t want to hurt anybody but even when I was trying to be gentle it seemed unavoidable, and I found that hard to accept. I was apparently too big and that became my curse.

Concerning the size of a man’s penis and satisfying a woman, I have experienced the “too big” level and also heard “too small” tales wherein a lady is asking her partner if he’s in when he is actually in. Depressing stories.

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Every single woman is an individual, so I can’t generalize for all women but its safe to say that a woman’s preference for the size of a man’s penis is mainly dependent on two factors; the width of her vagina and her pain tolerance level.

For example, it would be suicidal for a virgin looking to open her sexual account to open with a large audience (I’m sure you get my drift..lol).

Alternatively, women who have given birth vaginally to children, and/or are sexually active would most likely be a little wider down there and more adventurous. These women may prefer men who are a little bit thicker (but not necessarily longer).

Some women can have just a little bit wider vagina than other women do and the width of her vagina would naturally determine the size of penis she becomes comfortable accommodating.

Pain threshold on the other hand is the maximum level of pain that a person is able to tolerate. Some ladies have a higher pain tolerance level than others which would make taking a bigger dick a risk worth taking and the more pain she tolerates, the further her pain threshold (the point at which pain begins to be felt) is pushed and the gradually her hormones and mind converts the pain to pleasure.

In fact, where size is concerned, most women think it’s girth (width) that matters, not length. Ladies just want to be able to feel you inside of them. Simple.

One very important point: most women do not orgasm through penis-in-vagina intercourse. Some do (approximately 25%, from what I hear). The remaining 75% need a man to focus on stimulating her clitoris and/or other parts of her vulva, and/or her G-spot. This can be done with the penis, but in that case the size of your penis really doesn’t matter one bit. And a majority of women seem to prefer oral sex (cunnilingus). No penis needed at all.

For women, achieving orgasm isn’t a simple in-and-out procedure the way it is for men. You’re going to have to start all over again with every single woman you have sex with, learning what works for her. So you may be figuring out by now, verbal communication is key. Ask her.

So anyone that tells you that ladies prefer it big isn’t entirely truthful with you.

In as much as ladies don’t like small dicks, no one wants to encounter a womb destroyer.

Long story short: it matters somewhat, but how said person is in bed (and how willing they are to be flexible and do what needs to be done for their partner) is way more important.” Becky

The most important thing to satisfying a lady is more what they do with their hands and mouth, rather than the penis being the only sexual effort!

Size is nice and definitely a plus, but if a guy know how to use it and have other ‘skills,’ then sometimes it doesn’t matter.

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References:
25 Women Share Their Thoughts on Whether Penis Size Matters on Bustle.com

43 Love Secrets on AskMen.com

How Women Really Feel About Penis Size on PsychologytToday.com

Does Size Really Matter on Mariecliare.co.uk

Why Does Size Matter to Almost Every Female on Quora.com

Underage Sex: When YES Means NO

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The year was 2011 and upon seeing my posting letter in camp, I didn’t know whether to disappear or let the ground swallow me. I was posted to one of the riverine areas in Bayelsa even after working/pleading/arranging/paying to be posted to the state capital, Yenegoa.

I couldn’t swim, I didn’t have a life jacket, I had never really traveled on water and here I had to report to a riverine area which was about 40 minutes trip on water.

In this despair, I disappeared to Lagos to contemplate my next plan of action. I resumed duty after a month when my hopes of a re-posting appeared bleak and had to forfeit my N19,800 allowee as punishment for absconding from duty.

Upon resumption at my PPA (Place of Primary Assignment), I noticed the following about the community.

# No light. No NEPA. Generators were the order of the day.
# No network. None. The river bank was your best chance of making and receiving calls.
# No running water. Water from the river was your only chance of getting water. The same river the villagers had their bath, washed their clothes and even poo’d in.
# The underage girls in the village where either pregnant or sexually active.

As a Petroleum Engineering graduate, I started off as an English and Biology teacher partly to teach sex education and help improve their spoken and written English.

One thing I swore never to do and never did was take advantage of my elevated position as a teacher/Corper to defile the small girls in the school or community.

I never allowed female students to visit me in the corper’s lodge (which was in the same compound with the school). I never for once discussed sexual topics privately with any female student. I never for once touched any female student inappropriately. I never for once made sexual advances at any female student.

I respected myself, the little children under my care, their parents and God.

Luke 12:48 “….For to whomsoever much is given, of him shall much be required: and to whom men have committed much, from him they will ask the more”.

The responsibly of these girls. The care of these girls. The innocence of these girls. The future sexual conduct of these girls were inadvertently in my hands.

Why would I then subvert myself into a sexual predator preying on the inquisitiveness and ignorance of these teenage girls?

It was with disdain and anger that I read the news of one Gbadamosi Mayowa, an NYSC corps member serving in a secondary Edo state bragging of receiving head from one of his female students. In his FB post, he was quoted as saying “When your student wants the dick and you are contemplating. At the end she gon go down and suck the hell out of you……. #Babyboy #EdoCorper #BadGang”.

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This deranged Corper even boasted in previous posts of giving his students alcohol. Imagine the effrontery.

His posts caused an uproar and he has since deleted his Facebook account. Below are a few of the reactions to his sexual perversions.

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This is lesson to all male Corpers currently serving in mixed or girls only schools. Leave your students alone. If it’s sex you desire, get a mature girl to satisfy your sexual urge. You should be a pillar to these sexually naïve girls instead of taking advantage of them, robbing them of their innocence and turning teenage girls into nymphos.

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The Corper should be arrested and made to pay for his sexual exuberance. Having sex with underage in Western countries would bag you a prison sentence but in Nigeria, not even a police report is issued. When would we as a country begin to protect our girls from sexual predators in the kind of Gbadamosi Mayowa?

But wait a minute. Some places in my dear country allow girls as young as 13 years to be given up in marriage.

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Seems we are fighting a lost battle.

7 Sex Lessons Mosquitoes Teach

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I had just endured a horrible night with a whole feast of mosquitoes taking turns to somehow reduce the amount of blood in my body. That experience gave birth to the much read and popular “7 Relationship Lessons Mosquitoes Teach Daily“.

I really didn’t envision writing another ‘mosquito’ article but then again, why not milk the concept. Even smart movie producers know the potency of having a sequel to a successful movie and what better subject to solicit for advice from the imperious mosquitoes than sex.

So as a sequel to the original article, let’s delve into the waters of sexuality and look at how mosquitoes advice us on having a satisfactory sex life.

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7 Sex Lessons Mosquitoes Teach–>>

1. Before sex: Mosquitoes aren’t just born out of the blue, they are meticulously birthed. The female mosquitoes in need of protein for their eggs go out in search of a blood meal. So that’s why they suck your blood (nothing personal…lol). After sucking blood, they seek for stagnant water to lay their eggs. After a few days usually 10 days, the eggs hatch into larvae then to wigglers. The wigglers then develop into pupae and after several days, the pupae changes into mosquitoes. It’s a process and none can overtake the other.

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How well do you know your partner before having sex?
What else do you admire about her asides her voluptuous body?
What else do you admire about him asides his sense of humor and looks?
Do you know what makes him tick?
Do you know her likes and dislikes?
Do you know her dreams and goals?
Do you know what makes his heart beat?
Follow a process. Don’t just rush into sex.

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2. The little fly: As a little boy, I didn’t know much about sex but the earliest sex education I got weren’t through the efforts of Mr. Edowo, my Biology teacher but by my sexually exposed seniors watching porn in the hostel after night out. The first lesson porn exposed me to was the importance of the size of a man’s penis in satisfying a woman. All the porn stars all seemed to be endowed and the ladies loved it.
Growing up and being exposed to sex showed the truth behind that earlier theory but what porn didn’t tell me was that to satisfy a woman takes more than being heavily endowed. It was way more than that.

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It dawned on me that being heavily endowed wasn’t top of a woman’s sexual needs, knowing how to handle her body was. You don’t have to have a womb destroying tool to satisfy a woman, even if you were small down there, use it judiciously to arouse her erroneous zones. Learn what turns her on. Study her moans. Use your tongue. Kiss her. Pet her. Romance her. Get her wet and dripping. Make her cum.

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Like the mosquitoes, as little as they are, they have more impact on the human race than any flying creature God created. As an African Proverb deftly put it, if you think you are too small to make a difference, you haven’t spent a night with a mosquito.

It’s not how big brother but how well.

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3. Mosquitoes suck: I was having a discussion with a disgruntled woman lacking sexual satisfaction with her husband. She was of the opinion that to attain her sexual peak desired getting head but her husband was having none of it. He felt it was ‘dirty’ and couldn’t imagine himself going down on her.

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So this is how mosquitoes function, they suck and spit. As they suck the blood of their victim with their long pointed mouth part (proboscis), they pump saliva into your body to fasten the process which gives you the bumps you have after a mosquito bite.

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To be a better lover, you need to practice the suck and spit technique.
Instead of diving head straight into sex, utilize your saliva and lick unprintable parts of your partner. Every guy loves head. Every girl loves head. Be ahead by giving head..lol

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4. Hibernate: Have you ever wondered why mosquitoes don’t survive in cold regions of the world? They can’t survive at temperatures less than 50 degrees so the adult females of some species find a hole where they hibernate and wait for warmer weather. By so doing, they avoid the colder temperatures and live up to six months while the male lives for a few weeks.

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When a relationship is built on sex, it’s like building a house on a faulty foundation; it will come crashing down sooner or later. In order to have a long lasting relationship, learn to hibernate your sex life and build yourselves. Don’t always have sex whenever you guys are together. Go off sex for a month. Build your understanding. Build your dreams. Communicate. Play games. Take vacations together. Build a rapport. Be best friends before you become lovers. Hibernate.

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5. Change your style: There are around 3,000 mosquito species in the world but the dominant one in Africa is the anopheles (the malaria carrier).

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In that same vein, there are over 1,000 sex positions and concepts in the world but the dominant one is missionary position. Till today, I have no idea who came up with the missionary position concept.

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Who told us that a man must always be on-top during sex?
Who gave us the idea that a woman must be the submissive partner while the man the dominant?
Who gave couples the idea that sex must always be in the bedroom?
Who gave sexually active partners the notion that sex must be mundane and rigid?

There are so many things that married couples aren’t doing and it’s making sex feel like a task, something one must do to fulfill marital vows.

It’s time for married couples to leave their comfort zones and experiment.

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Have you tried role playing?
Are you aware she could play a nurse and you a sick patient?
Are you aware he could a police man and you a criminal?

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Have you tried BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Submission and Masochism)?
Are you aware he could tie you to the bed poles?
Are you aware she could spank you with your belt?

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Have you tried public sex?
Are you aware you both can have sex in your car in a shopping mall’s parking lot?
Are you aware you could go down on him while watching a movie at the cinema?

Have you tried bedroom less sex?
Are you aware that sex in the kitchen is so much fun?
Are you aware that sex in the parlor is more enticing?

 

 

Have you tried something else?
Are you aware that the helicopter style exists?
Are you aware of other sexual positions asides missionary and doggy?

Spice up your sex life. Don’t be boring. Common.

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6. Be vocal: Mosquitoes make that annoying zzzzzzzzzzz sound when flying over your ears because their wings can beat up to 500 times per second. They are known for their trademark sound which heralds the arrival of a mosquito and makes the prospective victim take notice and guard against the incoming bite.

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What’s your trademark sound during sex? It’s called ringtone.
Are you the silent type?
Moaning is part of sex and should never be downplayed.
Instead of standing there looking like a statue, it’s time to show how you feel by the sounds you make. Tell him where you want to be touched. Tell him when you are feeling it by the loudness of your moans.
It’s not a man’s thing to moan during sex but it’s not a crime to talk nasty.
Tell her how she’s making you feel. Ask her if she’s enjoying it.
Whose daddy?…..*wink*

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7. Mosquito nets: Insecticide treated nets have been shown to reduce malaria among children and pregnant women by more than 50 percent.

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If you are unmarried and sexual active, then isn’t it wise to use your own ‘mosquito nets’ to avoid ‘malaria’ cases? Use a condom to avoid sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy.

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Even for the married folks, family planning is key. Space your children. Use condoms, pills, injections as prescribed by your Doctor. Sex doesn’t always have to result in a baby. Think about it.

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7 Reasons Guys Dislike Virgins

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Growing up, virginity sucked (no pun intended).
Let me explain.
As a young naive boy, I had tons of female friends but never even had a kiss with anyone. Not that it bothered me back then because I was more into playing football and my studies than I was into girls (weird but true).

Then it all changed when I caught some of my seniors in the hostel back then watching porn and discussing their sex life with girls in school. I was barely in JSS3 but I was intrigued. “This sex thing sounds interesting after all, let me give it try”, my 14 year old self thought cunningly.

To cut the long story short, it took me over 6 years after my first inquest into sex to loose my virginity. Not for lack of trying. I think it was fate that made me keep that ‘idiot’ for so long.
I repeat, growing up, virginity sucked.

After the shackles of virginity were lifted off my shoulders, I noticed that I myself detested virgins (female virgins). I never wanted to date any virgin and just avoided them by all means (dated a few back then but that was after love trapped me..lol).

I thought I was alone in this school of thought until I found out from many virgins that most guys run at the sound of the word “virginity”.

So why do (most) guys hate virgins?

Firstly, before we commense. We (especially girls) need to understand that men are visual in nature not emotional. Men are sexual beings and are sexually driven. The earlier women accept this the easier time they will have understanding men. They are attracted to girls with nice asses not nice personalities (at least at the beginning of a relationship of course we care about personality but I’m talking about initial attraction here).

Now that’s our of the way, let’s discuss the 7 reasons guys detest virgins:

1. The virgin stereotype: This stereotype says that virgins are naive, ignorant about sex, dull, prude, have to be handled carefully, care-less about a man’s sexual needs, too emotional, extra careful, play too hard to get etc.  Dating a virgin to many guys is a burden, someone you would have to encourage to kiss, someone you would have to beg to reach second base. Remember guys are physically aroused. Virgins come across as choosy, love conscious and will rebuff a guy’s sexual advances. Most guys would ask, “why the stress?”

2. The icing on the cake: Most times a guy likes a girl and goes after her ‘aggressively’. During the ‘toasting’ stage, he is all about love and isn’t deterred when the girl tells him of her ‘virgin’ status. He is love struck obviously. He tells her “I want you for who you are not for the sex”. She’s like “awwwww, that’s so sweet of you Kelvin”. They start dating.
Did he mean it? Obviously.
Will he mean it in a few months time?
Hell no.
When his sexual genes begin to take effect, his eyes begin to wonder and his hands begins to feel some soft God made portions of her body, no one will tell Kelvin that although this cake is sweet, icing will make it perfect. He begins to ask her for icing, she reminds him of his earliar “I don’t care if you are virgin” stand. The sexual friction begins to take its toll. Three things would happen; she gives in and losses the virginity to him, she doesn’t give in and he cheats on her to get the icing from somewhere else or they break up. Sad ending right?
Guys think this far and ask themselves, “why the stress?”.

3. Super glue nature: A few years back, a friend of mine. Lets call her Becky (not her real name). She is beautiful with a body to die. She asked me to disvirgin her. No joke. I liked her but being the man that disvigined a girl I hardly felt anything for scared the hell out of me. I couldn’t.
Are my alone in this school of thought? Nope. But why? Simple.

Most virgins are clingy 95% of the time. A girl kept her virginity for so long, the guy that takes it away has to be special to her and when he does, she never forgets him. A lot of girls get clingy and kinda devoted to the guy that takes her virginity.
To prove my point, no girl ever forgets the name of the guy that disvigined her. Ask around.
So why would a guy in this economic recession be entangled with a girl that can’t stay away from him because she lost her virginity to him?
He would ask himself, “why the stress?”

4. Opening the floodgates: Remember Becky from number 3? Yes the girl that begged me to disvirgin her. So she was finally disvigined by another guy and according to her was enjoying sex so much that she had had sex with about 5 guys as of last year. This was a girl that was a virgin for 25 years and in two years had done the nasty with 5 other guys. The floodgates have been opened.
I asked myself, so not only would I be the one she would forever remember as her first, I would now have the guilt of opening the door for other men to enter? No way.
Some guys would ask themselves,
“Why the stress?”.

5. Impatience: Let’s use John and James’ story to understand this point. So John just started seeing Blessing who is not a virgin, after a few days of dating, they both do the nasty. She has done the nasty before and he also has experience. They both bring their external experiences together to make a mind blowing sexual adventure.
James on the other hand is seeing the shy, and reserved Kemi who is a virgin. Sex comes up and she shrugs him off. After sometimes, it comes up again, she agrees to try it but is scared. He has to “talk” her through it. Tell her it’s going to be okay. Makes sure she doesn’t hurt. Makes sure he takes it easy with her. Makes her feel comfortable. Tries it the first time, she cries and stops. Tries it a week after, same result. After a dozen trials, she finally gets comfortable but with her lack of experience, sex for James is boring and uneventful.
John is enjoying his love life and his sex life while James is struggling on both ends of the rope.
They meet and while discussing, John asks James, “why all all stress?”

6. Heartbreak: This part of the article really happened to me. I hope she doesn’t get to read this but I just have to use the story to buttress this point. Growing up, I dated this beautiful girl. She was a virgin and I didn’t mind. I was more or less a virgin too then. After a while, I causally made the “sex move”, she gently rebuffed my advances. I locked up (became unbothered). She then gave me an ultimatum, let’s date for a year and then we do the nasty. I said OKAY.
Getting to a year, we started having friction and I knew deep down I wasn’t going to spend much time with her anymore. She was still a virgin mind you. A few weeks after our first year anniversary, we saw and as expected she came prepared to be disvigined but I ended up breaking up with her. Why? I could have taken her virginity and still broken up with her right?

We weren’t working and I didn’t want to dirvigin her and break up with her too. That would have been heartbreaking for her. So we parted ways. She cried but I felt in my heart that we did the right thing.
Fast forward about four years after our breakup, she wasn’t a virgin any longer, one thing led to another we did the nasty as “just friends”. Difference was I didn’t have to break her heart to get in her pants. We still friends till now.
Good guys ask themselves, if it’s sex I want, why deceive a virgin with love and end up breaking her heart, “why the stress?”.

7. Fling: Lastly and the most glaring reason why most guys detest virgins is because they are interested in a quick fling and not a long term committed relationship. A guy that loves you would see beyond sex but in the same vein, will most girls that love a guy see beyond money?

It begs to ask the question,
“WHY THE STRESS?”

A Sexual Letter From The Virgin

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Dear Kurtis,
I don’t know how to say this so it doesn’t sound awkward but let me try. I am close to 28 years old and have been friends with this particular guy for over 15 years now. Our budding friendship started while as kids in Secondary school and later it blossomed into two teenagers liking themselves but too naive to do anything about it. Then we finished secondary school and still kept in touch. I traveled out of the country to continue my studies while he stayed back. Our love grew even faster although continents apart. I would be coming to Nigeria for Christmas and will ultimately see him. I can hardly wait. But something has left me unease about our upcoming “reunion”.
I am a 28 year old virgin, I don’t even know if that’s a good thing anymore but anytime I have ever thought of loosing my virginity, it’s to him but I’m scared of how the experience at my age would be. I also feel I would be inadequate for him. I mean he has told me about his sexual experiences with lots of girls and don’t think I can measure up to them sexually. Am I just freaking out because of my “virgin brain” or are my fears unfounded?
The Virgin Girl……

Dear The Virgin Girl,
I laughed out loud after you inferred that you had a virgin brain. Who says that? I like your humor tho.
Let me start off this counselling section as my Pastor would love me to (he reads my write-ups and would freak out if I didn’t bring this up at this juncture). So here goes. You have been a virgin for so long. 28 years in this sexually perverse World of ours is a lifetime in our grand parent’s time. Why not just hold on for a few more years until marriage? If this special guy so many years loves you so much then he should pop the question and wait to take your cherry on your wedding night. Makes sense.

But I’m sure that’s not what you asked my advice for so let me keep my church talk to myself. You are old enough to decide what to do with your body. That said.

You have reservations about how your first time would be. It’s normal especially for a 28 year old virgin like you (and yes it’s a good thing and something to be very proud of). You are gonna lose it to someone you hold dear not some random dude so that should count for something. Just be relaxed. Makes sure you both make out extensively so as to get your body ready for the “hardwork” ahead. It’s gonna hurt even more so because of your age but remember no pain, no gain. You are a big girl and you can take it (pun intended).

For your insecurities about his experience and feeling inadequate, there is something you should know. So this is how it works. A guy is never too experienced for a girl. Only a girl can be too experienced for a guy. Reasons being:
i. Guys have ego. Girls don’t (most). A guy’s ego can’t stand being shown the way by a girl while a girl is ready to learn from a guy.
ii. Guys are built to be in charge and in control while girls readily follow his lead.
iii. Guys have a body that isn’t “treasured”, while a girl’s body is like a jewel and should be protected. That’s why a guy can sleep with a hundred girls and be hailed as a player but a girl sleeps with ten boys, she’s loose (sexuality isn’t fair to girls I know).
iv. Guys can sleep with any amount of women and it won’t show. Girls on the other hand, the more sex she has, the more her vaginal walls slacks (even a girl’s body betrays her sexually).
v Lastly. Every girl wants a man that knows the way. Not some novice that doesn’t know his left from his right.

You just need to relax, follow his lead and y’all are gonna have a great time together. Have fun.

The Single Mother Who Gave Birth As A Virgin

Africa, Madagascar, Smiling mother breast feeds her baby

I have always seen single mothers as very strong women. They might have made mistakes (like everyone of us) but from a cynics point of view, their mistake (the unexpected baby) lives with them forever and keeps getting bigger. These are women who have turned their “mistakes” to blessings. These are the women to who I dedicated my mothers day article to. A few of them reached out to me with nothing but praise for article. Click HERE to read “Happy Mother’s Day To The Forgotten Mothers”.

As it turns out, a friend who I never even knew was a single mother reached out and decided to share her story titled “A Single Mother Shares Her Heartwarming Testimony”. Click HERE to read how she delivered on the bare floor because nurses laughed her off saying she looked only two months pregnant whereas she was 9 months gone.

Another single mother reached out to tell her story. Unbelievable as it sounds but she actually got pregnant as a virgin. Below is an except from the conversation we had. I tried as much as possible to quote her verbatim so forgive any typographical errors and short hand styled words.

 

Kemi (not real name): I have read the “Happy Mother’s Day To The Forgotten Mothers” article and I have never felt this celebrated. My son is here asleep on my chest. I am sure if he understands what you just did, his heart will bless you. God bless you for this.

 

Me: You are loved and appreciated dear. God bless you too. On second thought, I think you should tell your story. I am sure it will help so many people and make people feel a pinch of what you girls go through. Please start from scratch. I will ensure your identity is protected.

 

Kemi:  I was fresh in school, I made some frnds from fellowship, my frnds frnds and all. Anyways I met a particular funny youngman who caught my fancy. We started dating after bin frnds for a year. We started dating wen I got to 200lvl. While we dated we engaged in heavy romance but never had intercourse.

Along the line I noticed some traits I couldn’t cope with and decided to call it quits. I wanted to break up with him face to face and told him to come over to my place only to discover I was pregnant the next day. I was only 19. I told him and he totally denied which was quite understandable. The hymen wasnt pierced. Yes we were messing around there but I never had d liver to have sex.

His mother adviced me to go abort it and all. I never even contemplated abortion.

My father ws sooo hurt cos im the last child and his favourite. He’s also a pastor so tht must have been quite dificult considering his reputation. My parents supported me even as dissapointed and hurt as dey were.

On the day of delivery, my hymen was finally broken on the examination table while in labour. Like I got pregnant as a virgin. I was cut open when I couldn’t deliver d baby myself.

Tru out the pregnancy and childbirth his father wasnt there.

Wen I gave birth they showed interest but didnt take responsibility for his care and welfare and for yrs now I havent even heard from neither his father nor his family.

I work hard to support my parent to care for him. Thank God for God and my parents.

 

Me: Wow. Very surreal. So how does having a baby affect your relationships?

 

Kemi: Some guys run @ d mention of baby while some stay but do not wish to take u serz

Some want u bt cant handle d baby ish. But others stay and love you.

Infact I am with a great guy who loves me nd my son.
Me: Any advice for people (those that tend to judge single mothers unfairly), parents who find out their daughter is pregnant, parents whose son impregnates a girl and lastly for girls that unexpectedly gets pregnant.

 

Kemi: For those that judge single mothers, stop judging, you dont knw where the shoe hurts until u wear it. For parents, stand by them! Yes chastise them for it but stand by them. They need you the most at such a vulnerable time. Dont lose the chance to be your daughter’s hero/heroine. For guys who get girls preg be a man! Take responsibility, sometimes its not about financial responsibility alone, be there for them. Love your child. And for parent whose son impregnated a lady,imagine she ws your daughter. Whatever happens care for them. Its a better way to teach your son to be a better man for his son. And for the girl that gets pregnant out of wedluck, yes you made a mistake, dont make another one by taking the baby’s life. Stand up to and face your mistakes. It’ll help you be a better mother and teach your children to learn from your mistake and not theirs.

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