F*#k What Anyone Else Thinks

live your life

I had just finished a meeting and it was time for a group photograph. We all took our positions and struck our poses​ and ‘kichim kichim kichim’, the camera shutter sound escaped into the air and pictures were taken.

One after the other, we all filed to the camera lady to take a look at the pictures and in that rather conspicuous moment, a lesson that would change my life forever was birthed.

When everyone in the group looked at the pictures, every single one of them including myself wasn’t looking out for anyone else asides themselves. Each person wanted to know if they looked good in the pictures. No one cared about anyone else.

Life’s biggest lesson: No one really gives a f*#k about you except you.

So why then do we base our decisions in life on what people will think?

Why do you stay in abusive relationship​ because of what people will say?

Why do we stay on the same spot because what he/she will feel?

Why bother about people’s opinion when they don’t pay your damn bills.

When the picture of life is taken and everyone’s​ taking account, who would you hold responsible for how you lived yours?

You only have one life. Live like you want it to actually mean something. (Effin Heros)

And remember, only God cares about you more than you care about yourself and you are accountable to Him. So live a life He will be proud of and damn anyone’s opinion.

We only get one shot at life…Don’t let fear or external opinions hold you back. let’s GO!!!

 

Please follow the blog on IG: @chiefkurtisblog

How To Spend and Still Be Richer

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It was December 2013 and I was standing on the terrace at Old Trafford with a Ronaldo-esque pose, my hands aloft and a beaming smile across my face. This was really the theater were dreams did come true.

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As a young 10 year old boy watching my favorite team come back from a goal down with few minutes to spare and winning the 1999 Champions League final against Bayern Munich in such dramatic fashion. Now standing on the tuff of the same team I have spent almost 2 decades supporting and it was surreal and one of those pinch-yourself moments. One that would surely go down as one of my greatest ever memories (asides my future wedding day and the birth of my future children).

Looking back at my foremost experiences such as touring Old Trafford in Manchester and watching my younger siblings graduate from the University. All hold greater relevance to any physical thing I have and will ever acquire.

People long to acquire whereas they should long to experience.

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Using a 20-year study conducted by Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University as an anchor to address this belief system.
He pointed out that experiences become a part of our identity. We are not our possessions, but we are the accumulation of everything we’ve seen, the things we’ve done, and the places we’ve been. Buying an Apple Watch isn’t going to change who you are; taking a break from work to go on holiday to The Bahamas most certainly will.

“Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods,” said Gilovich. “You can really like your material stuff. You can even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but nonetheless they remain separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences.”

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We don’t compare experiences in the same way that we compare things. When people are asked if they’d rather have a high salary that was lower than that of their peers or a low salary that was higher than that of their peers, a lot of them aren’t sure. But when they are asked the same question about the length of a vacation, most people choose a longer vacation, even though it is shorter than that of their peers. It’s hard to quantify the relative value of any two experiences, which makes them that much more enjoyable.

We get used to new possessions. What once seemed novel and exciting quickly becomes the norm. The new phone you were dieing to get last year suddenly becomes old this year and you aspire to get a new phone. We keep raising tpurchases lead to new expectations. As soon as we get used to a new possession, we look for an even better one.

Possessions by their  nature foster comparisons. We buy a new car and are thrilled with it until a friend buys a better one—and there’s always someone with a better one.

The paradox of possessions is that we assume that the happiness we get from buying something will last as long as the thing itself. It seems intuitive that investing in something we can see, hear, and touch on a permanent basis delivers the best value. But it’s wrong.

The temporary happiness achieved by buying things only provides “puddles of pleasure.” In other words, that kind of happiness evaporates quickly and leaves us wanting more. Things may last longer than experiences, but the memories that linger are what matter most.

In this decade, the next and even the ones coming up, my first visit to Old Trafford (Manchester United’s football stadium) would forever remain a memory I would cherish. In the same vein, all the phones I have had, shoes, car or house would pale in comparison to that one experience.

Strive to have fun not to have shoes. Work to rest not to buy. Love to build not to get.

Why You Should Spend Your Money on Experiences, Not Things By Dr. Travis Bradberry

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Talk of The Devil: The Conversation in Hell

I really wonder what the devil would say when his dark angels bring him a newspaper report of all the people on Earth blaming him for their heinous crimes.

The devil is not omni-present (in all places at once), only God is so he beckons his Chief of Staff to invite the dark angels put in place to manipulate the people accusing him for their misfortune.

“Hey you. Dark Angel Foolish Thing (DAFT), one Mr. Anthony that lives in California that you are supposed to manipulate accused me of making him steal a car and selling it in EBay, is that true?

“The devil has spoken, can I speak?” DAFT starts as the devil gives him a nod to speak.
“Devil, Mr. Anthony is a big fool. I only manipulated him to jack his neighbor’s Lambogini, use it to take his girlfriend out, have a good time and then park it discreetly at a location. The idiot’s self centeredness made him take the car and his foolishness made him intend selling it on all places EBay. Devil, you are innocent of his accusations.”

“You. Silly Little Useless Thing (SLUT), you were put in charge of monitoring Vanessa, why is she accusing me of making her sleep with all her lecturers”.

“Jesus!!!!!”, SLUT screamed.

*The ground trembles*

“You slut, how many times have we warned you not to mention that name here”, Devil vibrates. 

“The devil has spoken, can I speak?” SLUT begins as the devil reluctantly gives her a nod to speak.

“Master Devil, I am sorry for uttering that name. I am just surprised by Vanessa’s accusation. She’s a liar. She failed a course in school because she wasn’t feeling too well and I advised her to sleep with the lecturer instead of taking the course again. When she became well, instead of reading for her papers, she continued sleeping with the lecturer and even others to pass. How is that my fault? She’s a very stupid girl for accusing you. It’s totally her fault.

“All you Dark Angels. Pay attention. Human beings are loved by “The Supreme Being” so you know we can’t touch them. Your job is not to make them do anything bad. Your job is to manipulate their conscience so much so that they don’t even know the difference between bad and good anymore. You all remember how I manipulated Adam and Eve in the beginning. I didn’t force them to eat the forbidden fruit, they eat it because they wanted to. You are never to take the blame for the actions of human beings. Guide them and let them act on their own greed/selfishness. You all know on Judgment day, we all in Hell will answer for our transgressions. Let’s make sure that “The Supreme Being” is aware that we aren’t to be blamed for the actions of human beings on Earth.

“AM I CLEAR?” Devil sounds off.

“Yes. Talk of the devil” All the dark angels responded in unison.

You are all dismissed!!!!!!!

Back to Earth and keep up the good work…….

The Music of Your Life is Being Played

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Years ago, just before a major concert, a member of Arturo Toscanini’s Orchestra approached the great Italian musical conductor with an expression of sheer terror on his face:

“Maestro,” which means, “Master,” “My instrument is not working properly. I cannot reach the E-Flat note. What am I to do now? We are to begin in a few moment and the hall is jam- packed!” His voice began to fail coupled with a feeling of anxiety/depression enveloped the room.

Toscanini looked at the man with utter amazement. Then he smiled kindly, and placed an arm around his shoulders. “My friend” he smiled, “do not worry about it. The damaged note (E-FLAT) does not appear anywhere in the music that you will be playing this evening.”

The shocked instrumentalist just stood speechless for a few seconds and burst into a loud laughter. Their performance that night was historic!

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But never forget that just before the great show, he was worried and disturbed over nothing!

Sadly, that’s the lifestyle of millions on planet earth! They worry over issues that will never even appear later in the music of their lives. This young man was worried over the E-FLAT key that was never a part of the show he was preparing for.

Oh! What a life! Determine that you will not devote your time to worry/depression/anxiety.

You will discover that a great majority of your anticipated problems or troubles do not come to pass! This means that most of the time we devote to worrying,even the constructive kind that prompts you to try to come up with a solution, is wasted.

Phillipians 4:6(NIV) says, “Be anxious for nothing but in everything, by prayer and supplication, let your request be made known to God.”

“Champions keep playing till they get it right” (Billie Team King).

“Learn to live each day by itself, the worries are mostly about yesterday and tomorrow.” (Herman Bailey).

In the remaining months of 2017, be anxious for nothing! Look daily to God! Always remember the E-FLAT KEY! Conquer worry!

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Reference: http://www.heavenlyworships.com/our-daily-manna-05-may2017/

Standing Up and Facing Your Fear

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Standing as part of my elementary school (Primary 4) class group on stage and awaiting my turn to make my presentation; my tummy turned, my head ached, sweat was falling profusely from every pore on my skin. Then it was my turn and in less than 30 seconds, I was done and I was still alive.

It’s over 20 years since my first taste of speaking in front of a crowd and until recently, it felt harder the older I got. I wasn’t on the glossophobia (speech anxiety) level, you know that degree of stage anxiety before speaking/performing at events where individuals simply freeze before their audience resulting in dried mouths, sweating, shaking or palpitations.

Mine didn’t get to that stage but needless to say, I was never going to ask any question in class or volunteer to speak in front of an audience. That was never going to happen.

Jerry Seinfeld made a great joke based on a simple observation:

“I read a thing that actually says that speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. I found that amazing – number two was death! That means to the average person if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

The fear of public speaking is the most common fear and prevents many people from achieving their potential. Imagine if you were comfortable speaking in public and took every opportunity presented, how would your life improve?

Watching Barrack Obama use his vocal prowess to wow his way into the White House was when it dawned on me that there is actually little one could achieve without possessing the grace to speak in front of a crowd.

So I became developing myself.
1. Improve yourself. Read books on self confidence, public speaking and leadership.
2. Believe in God. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13)
3. Pray. “Be anxious for nothing but in everything, by prayer and supplication, let your request be made known to God. (Phillipians 4:6)
4. Prepare. By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. – Benjamin Franklin
5. Practice. As Jerry Seinfeld pointed out, “You’re never really comfortable [on stage]. Even though you may think you are… you really aren’t. But, with time and practice, you learn how to open, how to sustain, how to pace…”. Key word is practice.
6. Play. Bond with the audience. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Joke.
7. Relax. You are not going to face the firing squad. Just relax.
To be afraid of speaking is to be afraid of power for power isn’t timid or shy. POWER IS BOLD!!

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God Can Bless You Anywhere

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ABOVE IS THE AERIAL VIEW OF NEW YORK FROM A PLANE. BELOW ON THE OTHER HAND IS THE AERIAL VIEW OF LAGOS FROM ANOTHER PLANE.

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ANY DIFFERENCE?

It simply means wherever you are, when God decides to bless you, even those abroad will hear of story. Let go and let God.

Coming back from my academic sojourn in the United Kingdom, one question came coming up…

Why did you come back?

Why did you come back?

Why did you come back?

I was working in Coventry City and being payed the minimum wage which was £6.19/hr back then and I work 40 hours a week which was close to £250/week which amounted to N87,000 per week.

Imagine working for a month. It was good money for a fresh graduate like me.

Hence the veracity of their enquiry.

Like something was actually wrong with me for coming back to Nigeria.

“We are looking for means to travel abroad, you go abroad and you are coming back to this country. No jobs. No power. Corruption everywhere”, Uche said.

Dapo interjected, “You are coming back to a country where you need ‘connection’ for everything?
To get a job, you need connection. To eat jollof rice at a wedding, you need connection. You chat girls up, they will ask you ‘who gave you my pin/number?’ meaning to even date or marry, you need connection. This country is *bleeped* up”.

I know Dapo and Uche meant well but I couldn’t help but laugh at some of their reasons for wanting me to stay back in the “land flowing with milk and honey”.

What they failed to realize is that I am richer in Nigeria than in England. Maybe not financially but I had family, friends, confidants that I could fall back on whenever I got weary.

What they fail to discern is that one can never be legally ‘filty’ rich abroad. Every dime you make is scrutinized. Make too much and draw suspicions. In Nigeria, make as much as your mind can handle.

What my friends failed to register in their thinking is that you live forever as a 4th class citizen. First class is the British, Second class are the Americans and Europeans, third class are the other races then Africans come last. What that means is that you get in trouble, you are guilty automatically without trial. What a life to live….

What they fail to comprehend is that worshipping God abroad is like seeing a Range Rover being used as a taxi. Very rare.

What they fail to realize is that cold abroad can finish someone’s career. At temperatures below zero degrees celsius, you dare not bath without hot water. Death straight.

What they fail to realize is that those abroad don’t have tradition. No respect for their elders. No regard for older ones. Definitely not where you want to raise your kids.

What they fail to realize is that the Government of UK will tax your life away. Every penny made is taxed. Taxed money is enough to build you a mansion in Nigeria.

What they finally fail to fathom is the fact that my help is from above not from abroad.
That God in London is the same God in Warri.
That God blesses those He blesses not those living in snowy environments. That God loves us all equally.
That Jesus didn’t just die for the white man.
That God said I will prosper wherever I set my foot and whether that’s in Maryland in the USA or Maryland in Ikeja.

Work hard and God will bless you. Relax.

The Bowwow Challenge: Living A Fake Life

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On the 8th of May, Shad Moss aka Bow Wow posted a picture on IG of a fine looking jet, with a caption about traveling to New York City. Unlike the rest of us, who settle for shots of cramped seats or pretty clouds. Bow Wow wanted us to know he rolls in style.

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Except that isn’t actually his photo.

In some minutes, travelers posted pictures of Bow Wow who claimed to be flying “private jet” in an economy passenger seat on an airline.

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As the news about Bow Wow’s post spread, people responded by getting creative with their own deceptive aspirational images. With the hashtag #bowwowchallenge trending online.

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As Nigerians would be very aware, we are only recovering from the Oge Okoye and KCee “fake” pictures on IG debacle. The actress ‘lifted’ pictures of two dogs belonging to someone else and passed them off as hers while the musician also “lifted” wards of dollars and passed them off as his.

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And now this…..

Bow Wow, Oge Okoye, Kcee and many of us regularly take pictures, pose with people’s clothes, jeweleries, whips, use nice filters and background with clever tricks of framing to give our followers the impression that our lives are more glamorous than it actually is.

Why even bother?

Why claim you don’t know Banky W when the “local” boy in the house won the damn price?

Why form Queen’s English when the dude speaking pidgin was loved by Nigerians?

Why follow men old enough to be your father’s boss to snap pictures in locations beyond your influence when you can manage selfies in your fine church?

Why struggle to be what you are not when it’s far easier to be who you are?

Don’t be Bow Wow claiming to fly royalty when flying economy gets you to the same location.

Don’t be an Oge Okoye posing with Oyimbo looking dogs when locally bred dogs are still cute and loyal.

Don’t be a KCee posing with someone else’s Dollars when your own Naira will do just fine.

Don’t be a Gifty forming tush and imported when you loved and voted for the local Efe.

Be yourself, on IG and in real life.

You will live a happier and longer life.

 

 

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