7 Reasons Condom Use Makes Sense

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Today is World AIDS day (December 1st) and in a bid to unite people around the world in the fight against HIV/AIDS, condom maker Durex launched a social media campaign “to create the first official safe-sex emoji”.

The link between HIV prevention and condom use cannot be overemphasized. It’s true that the virus can be transmitted via other means but I dare you to see a HIV carrier and not naturally assume it was gotten through sex.

But why is the virus still being transmitted on a large scale and why are sexually active youths having issues using condoms? A few reasons abound including…

1. Sex is more enjoyable without condoms: The undeniable truth is that sex is sweeter without condoms but so is driving without seat belts on but no sane person would drive without one. Why would you compromise a future just for 15 minutes of pleasure. Not worth it.

2. Breakage: Condoms can break during sex for many reasons including:
i. Lack of lubrication: When a woman is not well lubricated either through proper foreplay or use of a lubricant, friction between her vaginal walls and the condom might lead to a breakage. Ensure to use a lubricant during sex to avoid condom breakage.
ii. Improperly worn: The truth is that many men cannot wear a condom properly. Some wear it so badly that there is no space for semen after ejaculation. When a condom is worn wrongly, breakage is very common.
iii. Wrong size: What condom manufacturers don’t tell people especially in Africa is that condoms have sizes. Not every condom is for every penis size. Some condoms are 2 inches wide, others 2.5 inches while the XL’s are 2.75 inches. It’s important for a man to know his condom size so as not to wear oversize or under-size.

3. Love: Faithfulness has a big part to play for lack of condom use for couples in love or in committed relationships. You might be faithful and she might not be. You might be committed and she might not be. Instead of using your level of faithfulness to judge someone else’s. Use a condom no matter what. When married then take it off.

4. The rush: You know that feeling when you both are tearing each other’s clothes off and there is the temptation to go in raw. Just stop for a minute and think. Think. I know stopping to put on a condom spoils the intensity but my dear, make the right decision and spoil the intensity than the wrong one and ruin your life forever.

5. Female power: Ultimately, the power of condom us lies with the lady. When a girl insists on condom use, the guy has no option but to follow her lead. A girl should never bend. Not even for his puppy face begging for raw entry (you get pregnant, his puppy face would be no where to be found). Insist on condom use even before your pants come off. Trust me, it gets harder to insist when your pants are off.

6. Availability of condoms: I know a friend that carries a condom in his wallet and in his own words “you never can tell when and where you will need it”. As funny as it might sound, having a condom around you is very advisable. There is a big chance you might need it by 2 am and the aboki in front of your house will be closed for the night. Now the dilemma; do I compromise my stand and enjoy the night or stick to my rules and sleep horny and frustrated. Be wise.

7. Lastly, condoms have been in existence since forever. They have and continue to save lives (babies that don’t have to be aborted and HIV that doesn’t get transmitted). Abstinence remains the best option. But if you choose not to abstain, please choose to use a condom. ALWAYS, no exceptions.

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Click HERE to read “Her HIV Status”
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Get tested, know your HIV status, use condoms and make this world a safer place to live in.

Condoms: Pregnancy, STD and Rest of Mind

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Condom simply put is a thin rubber sheath worn on a man’s penis during sexual intercourse as a contraceptive or a protection against infection. It is rolled onto an erect penis before intercourse and physically blocks ejaculated semen from entering the body of the female and also prevents STDs from entering from one partner to another. A female condom called femidom is also available but not as readily available as the male condom.
It is worn internally by the female partner and provides a physical barrier to prevent exposure to ejaculated semen or other body fluids.

Condoms in general are part of the ABC culture of sex which involves:
A: Abstinence
B: Being faithful
C: Condom usage.

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Most teenagers know about condoms, how they work and would have probably used them but what are the benefits of condom usage?

1. To prevent sexually transmitted diseases like HIV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Trichomoniasis, Herpes, Syphillis, Chancriod and many others.

2. To avoid other infections like toilet infection (vaginitis). This is a type of infection caused by a change or imbalance in the types of the bacteria normally found in the vagina and causes an overgrowth of organisms such as gardnerella vaginalis or yeast infection (candidiasis). Symptoms might include: itching, whitish grey vaginal discharge, painful intercourse, rash etc. It is usually caused by vaginal douching, next sexual partner or multiple sexual partners. It is not caused by use of a toilet or swimming pools.

3. To give you rest of mind. When a man ejaculates into a woman during sex, both parties don’t usually have rest of mind until she sees her period. When the devil now wants to punish them, the period could come days late making her lose sleep over what would have been prevented in the first place.

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4. Avoids birth control problems. Contraceptives only help in avoiding pregnancy but leave you exposed to STDs. Due to the fact that they are hormonal contraceptives, they have a way of shaking up your monthly cycle. Some women have experienced shorter or longer periods while others have had a period in 40 days instead of the usual 28 days. Avoid stories that touch, use a condom.

4. To avoid pregnancy. The most obvious reason for condom usage is to avoid pregnancy. Simple.

5. To last longer in bed. This is the most underrated use of condoms. I remember when a married friend told me of the inability of her husband to last longer than 2 minutes in bed. The simplest advice I gave her was to introduce flavored condoms into their sex life. The result was that he lasted far longer in bed. The reason is not far fetched, the condom helps avoid direct contact between the penis and the surroundings of the vagina which helps the man last longer because it isn’t as sexually satisfactory as skin to skin.

There you have it, some reasons to use a condom.
But remember:
1. Get a condom that fits (don’t use a big condom for a small penis or a small condom for a big penis).
2. Never use two condoms at the same time. It’s safer to use one that two because friction between both condoms could cause them to break.
3. Always check the condom during sex and adjust. Before ejaculation, check to see if the condom is still rightly placed before letting it all out.
4. Don’t be in a hurry. Make sure you wear it right.
5. It’s no secret that skin to skin is sweeter but its too risky. Leave skin to skin to the married folks, if single, use a condom.
6. Love is no excuse to not use a condom. You might be committed and faithful but your partner might not be. Use a condom even when in love.

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7. Remember, “AIDS no dey show for face”. She’s pretty and looks clean doesn’t mean she’s clean internally. He’s handsome and looks polished doesn’t mean he’s not using his charm to sleep with the whole street. Ladies remember to ask “where is your condom?” before opening up.
8. Never reuse a condom. As soon as it slips out of the penis, discard and use a new one.
9. Don’t throw used condoms into the bin or keep them lieing around. Tie the open end to avoid semen sipping out and flush down the toilet.
10. Finally, abstinence is and will forever be the best. If unmarried, abstain, you won’t die.

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References:

  1. Condoms
  2. Female condoms
  3. Toilet (Vaginal) Infections in Women

#GuyCode

5 Reasons Why You Should Never Be Pregnant

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I was having a conversation with a friend and I told her of my disappointment in girls that get pregnant and either give birth or abort. I gave her some of the points listed below but her excuse was that information is not readily available to these girls. I see it as ignorance because the information is readily available but they choose to ignore it.
Here are my 5 reasons why a single (unmarried) woman should never be pregnant.

1. Sex is overrated: When it comes to the issue of sex, its a man’s world. If a man has sex with over 50 girls, he is hailed as a player (a bad guy) that gets girls at the snap of his finger. On the other hand, if a girl has sex with over 10 guys, she is called all sorts of names that range from loose girl to promiscuous girl. Another point is the fact that too much sex naturally doesn’t affect a man’s private part but it affects a lady’s. A man could have sex with 100 ladies and it would never show on his private part. For a lady, the more sexual partners she has, the likelihood of her vaginal walls expanding, the more it expands, the looser it becomes. That’s why a girl that sleeps around will find it difficult to satisfy her husband (assuming her husband’s private part is on the smaller side).
When advising my younger sister on sex many years ago, I told her that her private part was like a new lollipop. In its unwrapped state (as a virgin), she is still new, untouched and covered but as soon as the lollipop gets unwrapped, it looses value. The more men lick the lollipop (have sex with her), the more it looses its value. I then asked her, as a man would you rather have a brand new lollipop or a lollipop that has been licked by 10 men before you. Her answer was clear. To any lady that cares to listen, sex is overrated and its worth waiting for, don’t be pressured or rushed into giving it away.

2. Condom is cheap: The importance of condoms cannot be overemphasized and without its availability the spread of diseases would be astronomical with pregnancy and abortion cases through the roof. Perception of many is that sex without a condom is more enjoyable than sex with a condom but is a certain percentage decrease in pleasure factor worth the risk of infections and pregnancy? Its surely not a wise decision in the long run.  The use of a condom is not only the responsibility of the man but also of the woman. As soon as you guys are about tearing each other’s clothes into shreds, ask him for his condom. The usual excuses men give are “its far”, “I don’t have one”, “sex without condom is not sweet”, “I am clean, if your clean let’s do it”. After he finishes blabbing, ask him again “where is your condom?” And make it certain that NO CONDOM, NO SEX.
Another point to note is the proper use of a condom. Some guy’s are usually in a hurry so they either wear the condom wrongly or improperly. As a girl, its your duty to either wear the condom for him or cross check if it was worn properly to avoid stories that touch. Remember you are the one that carries the pregnancy not him, you are the one that takes the shame not him, you are the one that drops out of school not him. Be guided.

3. Withdrawal method: This method is strictly for faithful couples. You are faithful and your partner is faithful is the only time this method is fail proof. Withdrawal method is when a man pulls out his penis a minimum of 5 seconds before cuming and ejaculates outside the woman’s private part. It takes a whole lot of self discipline to make this method work because as explained in an earlier post titled “Understanding HIS Private Part“, the part of the body that orders the testicles to release the sperm is the spinal cord of the man not his brain. As that point, his brain is no longer operational (meaning he doesn’t think straight anymore). As far as he withdraws before ejaculation, he can never get you pregnant.

4. Flush your system: To illustrate this point, I will use a seed (mango seed) to represent the sperm and the ground stands for the woman’s womb. A man plants his mango seed in a lady’s ground and after a period of time it begins to germinate (she gets pregnant). In as much as it takes an amount of time for the seed in the ground to germinate, it also takes a particular amount of time for the sperm to stay alive inside the woman’s system. Research has shown that the male sperm can live close to 5 days in the woman’s system so women are advised to take precautionary measures a maximum of 3 days after sex to prevent unwanted pregnancy. There are drugs in the pharmacy for this so I’m not going to recommend any here. Ask your pharmacist.

5. Abortion destroys: If you actually knew the number of women who have aborted at least a baby in their life time, you will be shocked and I mean very shocked. The excuses I get from these girls is that they actually didn’t abort a child but a fetus because it hasn’t formed into a child yet. My view still remains that as long as you miss your period, a baby is on the way. Aborting it at 3 weeks or at 6 months is murder, please stop killing the future leaders of tomorrow. Abortion leaves both mental and  physical scars that take years to fully recover from. In some cases where uncertified doctors were used, some girls bleed to death or get their wombs destroyed.

In conclusion and as I will always say, sex is not love and can never be love. It is a form of expressing love in the confines of marriage but if you feel marriage is too far then please make proper use of a condom. If condom is too boring for you and your faithful partner then practice withdrawal method. One way or the other, the sperm gets into you system, flush it out as soon as possible because the effects of abortion is both physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

The Domino Effects of Premarital Pregnancy

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Sandra is a smart teenager who aspires to be a lawyer. During the course of her studies, she meets Emeka who dreams of taking over his father’s electronics business in Alaba International Market. They both meet and fall in love, one thing led to another she gets pregnant. This pregnancy has implications and will be analysed using the domino effect which states that a chain reaction occurs when a small change causes a similar change nearby.

1. Abortion and Infertility: She aborts the baby at 2 months old and moves on with her life. She gets married and 5 years after her wedding day is yet to get pregnant. A trip to the doctor with her husband and a few tests after shows that her womb was affected by the abortion she had while in the University. She can never give birth (unless a miracle happens), so her husband out of frustration gets another woman pregnant, moves her into the house as his second wife and Sandra feels devastated and betrayed.

2. Abortion and Guilt: She aborts the baby successfully and it doesn’t affect her womb in anyway. As she grows older and sees other children, she gets psychologically affected with the thoughts of the child she killed in her womb. Anytime her pastor preaches on abortion, she goes home to cry. She sees a child and immediately imagines the child she once had but never gave birth to. She lives forever with guilt.

3. Childbirth: She decides not to abort the baby. She approaches Emeka (the child’s father) about the pregnancy and Emeka humorously asks her the infamous question “who is the father?”, in tears she affirms that he is the father but Emeka vehemently denies paternity and breaks up with her terminating all forms of communication between them. She proceeds to inform her parents of the pregnancy and out of sheer disappointment and in a bid to save their reputation, they send her to Ghana to stay with her sister who resides there until she gives birth. She had to take a break from school, she had to put her dreams on hold, she has to live with the shame of premarital pregnancy. Her parents and her boyfriend want no hand in the upbringing of the baby so she struggles to make enough money to take care of herself and the baby so she ventures into a sugar daddy lifestyle and prostitution.

4. Baby Mamma Syndrome: Sandra is single with a child to take care of by herself. She meets James during her stay in Ghana but after a while she finally discloses to him that she has a child. James becomes distant and breaks up the relationship. After James comes Tope, after Tope came Chris but all these men claimed to love her but did not want to get married to a single mother.

5. Father-less child: Over a million children are born out of wedlock every year and most grow without the influence of a father. A child grows up with the knowledge that his/her father denied him/her from childbirth can only cause resentment towards that man and other men in general.

6. Forced Marriage: So Sandra tells Emeka about the pregnancy but instead of denying, he accepts paternity. They are not ready for marriage but in a bid to save their family’s reputation, they decide to get married. They get married just because they are expecting a child together and after 3 months of married life, they discover that they really had nothing in common. The young marriage is already on the rocks but they decide to stay in it. Emeka begins to date other women outside while Sandra is secretly having an affair with her boss at work.

Sex is one of the most beautiful adventures any couple can experience but God designed sex to be between a married couple. Abstain till marriage to avoid such heartaches and trauma. In case you know that you cannot abstain till marriage, please the next option is the correct use of a condom. The reason why I omitted the second option after abstinence which is “Being Faithful” is because, faithfulness can help avoid sexually transmitted infections (if both partners are really faithful) but this doesn’t avoid pregnancy. Don’t be a Sandra, keep yourself till marriage. Sex is worth waiting for.