The Smile for the Camera Relationships

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Growing up, I realized quite early that God made my feet annoyingly big. My dad and brothers couldn’t pass down shoes to me because as early as 17, I had outgrown everyone’s shoe size.

During Youth Service, the NYSC officials couldn’t provide me with a shoe that could fit. I wear 46/47 and the most they had in my camp was size 45 so I was the only corper exempted from wearing boots. I wore slippers and my own shoes around the camp. It was that bad.

Have you ever seen a shoe you like but heartbroken that it doesn’t fit?

I go to the market to get shoes and come back depressed. The gorgeous shoes I see aren’t my size but with anger coupled with optimism, I buy one or two that fit a bit.
I wear them out to occasions and get the “beautiful shoe” compliments left, right and center which should be enough to offset the pain my feet is feeling. Right? WRONG!!!
When no one is looking, I find a place to get the damn shoes off, stretch my feet and let them breathe. It’s never worth it.

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Does my shoe struggles sound familiar with some relationship problems?

She’s beautiful, hot and quite presentable. She’s like a trophy wife. People keep gushing about her looks and poise but inside no one knows what you are enduring. She’s difficult to handle. She’s disrespectful. She’s lazy. She’s contentious.
He’s handsome, hardworking and funny with a very healthy bank account. He’s every girl’s dream. Girls are envious of you both and guys are jealous but inside no one knows what you are enduring. He speaks to you in a condescending manner, shouts at will and strikes you when he can’t stand your complaints.

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Let’s look at this “smile for the camera” type of relationships we keep having from another angle.

You are to travel from Abuja to Lagos by road with your family and given two options;
First is an unpainted Sienna bus with a regularly serviced engine, tires and a well-trained driver.
Second is a 2017 Range Rover Sports Utility Vehicle with a faulty engine, tired looking tires and an aggressive Fast and Furious driver.
Which of the automobiles would you choose to travel in?

Easy choice right?

So why do we stay in abusive relationships because of what people will say?
Why do we stay in stale relationships that look good on the outside but toxic on the inside?
Why do we keep managing relationships that are leading to nowhere?
Why do we keep praying for the wrong man to change instead of praying for the right man to find you?
Why do we keep entertaining a promiscuous partner with the excuse that “the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t”?
Why do we keep forgiving a partner that slaps and beats you at will because he loves you and maybe “it’s my fault he slapped me”?
Why do we smile for the camera (family, friends, colleagues, social media contacts) like we have a perfect relationship when we are dying on the inside?

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It’s time you drop what people might think and stand by what you think because at the end of the day, “no one knows where the shoe pinches, but he who wears it.”
Don’t be the sad and bruised girl in a Range Rover Sport looking out of the window and admiring the happy and joyous girl in a taxi.
Life is too short to be unhappy.
A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.
Stop sitting on the fence and take that leap of faith.
Who cares what the camera sees when you are hurting in camera (pun intended).
Get out now while you still can.

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Date Your Wife and Marry Your Girlfriend

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“Date your wife and marry your girlfriend” – Kurtis Smith, 2015

I can’t stress the above quote enough. Let me break it down.

Date your wife: Most people enter into relationships for various reasons. For companionship, to be taken care of (women are mostly guilty of this), for the sex (men raise your hands), for social acceptance, to blend in or even because of boredom. Only a fraction of relationships that start on such shaky grounds ever reach the altar and even so only a small percentage of them last 10 years happily.

But imagine, a man sees a woman in her flaws and envisions “forever after” with her. He looks out for her best interest at heart. Builds her. Supports her. Forgives her. Loves and cherishes her. He is dating his wife.

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Marry your girlfriend: Then they get married. From that wedding day, the title changes from wife to girlfriend. We have made the title “wife” heavy with too much responsibility. A wife should be this. A wife should be that. Too much pressure. Instead he treats her like his girlfriend. He doesn’t make her to wash/clean/cook and all those wifely mumbo jumbo. He takes her on dates, makes love to her anywhere and everywhere, spoils her, cocoons her in unbinding love. He is married to his girlfriend.

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So remember, when next you envision marriage. Try it the other way around. Date your husband and marry your boyfriend. YOLO should actually be YOMO. You Only Marry Once.  Don’t make divorce an option. Marry your boyfriend/girlfriend today.

#CoupleGoals: IG—>>>> @timi_dorgu and @ife_x.

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Basketball: 3 Tall Men, 2 Kings, 1 God

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Growing up, I realized that I was growing taller than my mates and was always made to stand at the back of the class during morning assembly. Occasionally the height advantage felt good as a child but more often than not, towering over my peers brought with it unnecessary attention from teachers who were always looking for a scapegoat? My height was an enemy.

Then I got older and I grew taller and taller and taller. Currently standing at 6ft 4in tall, I have stopped growing now (I think) and apart from getting those “I don’t want to stand next to him” stares I get when group photographs were being taken, nothing annoyed me more about my height than being constantly asked “why don’t you play basketball?”

As a kid I was never interested in the sports called basketball. Soccer was my cup of tea. I dream soccer. I eat soccer. I lived soccer. I even played soccer once with a broken hand. Soccer was my all. But that didn’t stop the “why don’t you play basketball?” questions from coming. Of course I am tall and it was expected.

I thought about developing an interest in “the beautiful game” as basketball is often referred to and maybe “not waste my height” as people kept saying.

Then the unexpected happened.

I should have been maybe 14 years old or so when the boys in my hostel were invited to play basketball at a court close to school. I had never played the game before but my height got me the “lead role” and I flunked. Badly. That wasn’t even sad part, to rub salt into the wound, a senior in school disappointed with my display said and I quote “bush boy, you can’t even play basketball”.

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So being the youngest goalkeeper to make the Senior team and also being one of the fastest track and field athletes in my age bracket wasn’t enough but since I couldn’t play America’s game, I was a bush/local boy?

I never step foot in a basketball court again. The hate for the sports had reached a climax and there was nothing that was gonna change that.

Then came a hero!!!!!

A King in his own right.

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He came, swept me off my feet and made me fall in love with a sports I should have played (height wise).

The King was LeBron James.

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It’s being over half a decade since my hatred for the sports was diluted by this one human being.

Just when I was getting a little comfortable with the idea of liking basketball, Steph Curry came along and blew me out of the water.

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He made me love the game if not for anything but for his love for God. Being a devout Christian, a Jesus loving husband and father, Curry has my favorite scripture Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” —and Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ that strenghtens you”—on his game shoes.

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Steph once explained how his faith has been his driving force. He said “I’ve always been a believer that the Lord has put whatever talent in you, [and] whatever gift He has put in you, He wants you to get the most out of that. He wants you to succeed; He wants you to pursue and work and be passionate about it,” Curry says. “It’s not about getting any of the glory for yourself; it’s all for His [glory]. That’s where you have to keep perspective. Work at it and do all you can so you get the most out of yourself, but do it for His will.”

What a man!!!!

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Soccer still has my heart but basketball is gaining a large stride but God will always reign supreme.

Stand tall, give God pre-eminence in everything you do, always study the Bible (King James) and watch God sprinkle curry into your life (no pun intended).

Remember, you can do all things through Christ that strengthens you. Philippians 4:13

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Did I use sports to talk to you about Jesus? Yes I just did. God bless you.

 

 

 

Why You Should Stop Hustling

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Why should God bless your hustle when he can bless you enough so you don’t have to hustle?

Hustle is a word often used to mean “working hard” but hustle by definition actually means obtaining something illicitly or by force.

As a matter of fact, one of my favorite series on TV is HUSTLE. It was a British television drama centered around a group of con artists who specialize in coning people out of their money.

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Hustling is hard. Hustling is stressful. Hustling is draining. Hustling is gotten by strength (mental or physical). But what can be better than hustled money?

FAVOUR GOTTEN MONEY.

The Bible said explicitly in Zechariah 4:6 “Not by power or by might but by the Spirit of the Lord”.

Why hustle when you can pray your way ahead, clear paths of resistance and obtain favour all around. What others hustle to get in years, favour can give it to you in days. Hustle is hard. Stop hustling and start gliding in favour.

MAY this month be spiritually, mentally, financially and psychologically good to you and your family. Go and succeed!!!!!

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Operation “JUMP and PASS”

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“The day my enemies turned tail and ran, they stumbled on You and fell on their faces.
You took over and set everything right; when I needed You, You were there, taking charge. I’m thanking You, God, from a full heart. I am writing the book of your wonders. I am whistling, laughing and JUMPING for joy” —->>> Psalms 9:1-4 (MSG).

You shall surely JUMP AND PASS your adversaries. ‘Exercise’ your faith!!!!!

 

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When Worry Makes You A Warrior

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A few years ago, Martha was asked by a colleague to pick up her grand mother for her checkup at the hospital. Martha didn’t know this woman. All she was told was that this person was more than 90 years old and probably quite frail. But the person who opened the door when Martha knocked could hardly be described as old and frail. The person who stood before Martha was a sprightly lady who appeared to be in her seventies at most.

“Do you mind me asking how old you are?” Martha asked on the drive to the doctor.

“93,” the woman answered.

Martha was astonished. “You look so much younger,” she said. “What’s your secret?”.

“Well, honey,” she answered, “30 years ago I made the decision to stop worrying and I haven’t wasted a moment on worry since.”

It was this decision that made her younger and healthier than her chronological age. Think of all the energy she gained through her decision not to worry. Think of all the anxiety she spared herself, all the needless stress she avoided.

Are you aware that 85 percent of what most people worried about never happened? and with the 15 percent that did happen, 79 percent of subjects discovered either they could handle the difficulty better than expected, or the difficulty taught them a lesson worth learning. This means that 97 percent of what you worry over is not much more than a fearful mind punishing you with exaggerations and misperceptions.

Stop killing yourself with worry and start lifting yourself in prayers. Don’t be a worry warrior when you can easily prevail on the alter of prayer.

 

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What is New About Your Love Life?

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You are both in love, that’s not new.
You talk to each other every day, that’s not new.
You lovebirds can’t stand being away from each other, nothing new.
You have unbridled, wild and sometimes steamy sex, still not new.

What’s new about your relationship with God pertaining to your relationship with him/her?

Has dating him taken you farther away from God or closer to God?

Has dating her strengthened your faith and resolve in God?

Has dating him made you worry more or worry less?

Has your “new” relationship increased your attendance in church and Godly activities or has it made going to church a burden?

Has being intertwined in your relationship entwined you in sin?

Has your relationship improved your Bible study hours or made your Bible a fashion accessory for only Sundays?

Do you both discuss sex more than God in your relationship?

Has “Good in bed” become your priority in choosing a date instead of “God lover”???

A relationSHIP without God is like a ship without a rudder, it’s going nowhere meaningful.

A relationSHIP that isn’t God centered will crash and it’s occupants will drown in sin.

Evaluate your love life now and make “God” the priority. If he is not in, he can use the door!!!!

 

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