The Smile for the Camera Relationships


Growing up, I realized quite early that God made my feet annoyingly big. My dad and brothers couldn’t pass down shoes to me because as early as 17, I had outgrown everyone’s shoe size.

During Youth Service, the NYSC officials couldn’t provide me with a shoe that could fit. I wear 46/47 and the most they had in my camp was size 45 so I was the only corper exempted from wearing boots. I wore slippers and my own shoes around the camp. It was that bad.

Have you ever seen a shoe you like but heartbroken that it doesn’t fit?

I go to the market to get shoes and come back depressed. The gorgeous shoes I see aren’t my size but with anger coupled with optimism, I buy one or two that fit a bit.
I wear them out to occasions and get the “beautiful shoe” compliments left, right and center which should be enough to offset the pain my feet is feeling. Right? WRONG!!!
When no one is looking, I find a place to get the damn shoes off, stretch my feet and let them breathe. It’s never worth it.


Does my shoe struggles sound familiar with some relationship problems?

She’s beautiful, hot and quite presentable. She’s like a trophy wife. People keep gushing about her looks and poise but inside no one knows what you are enduring. She’s difficult to handle. She’s disrespectful. She’s lazy. She’s contentious.
He’s handsome, hardworking and funny with a very healthy bank account. He’s every girl’s dream. Girls are envious of you both and guys are jealous but inside no one knows what you are enduring. He speaks to you in a condescending manner, shouts at will and strikes you when he can’t stand your complaints.


Let’s look at this “smile for the camera” type of relationships we keep having from another angle.

You are to travel from Abuja to Lagos by road with your family and given two options;
First is an unpainted Sienna bus with a regularly serviced engine, tires and a well-trained driver.
Second is a 2017 Range Rover Sports Utility Vehicle with a faulty engine, tired looking tires and an aggressive Fast and Furious driver.
Which of the automobiles would you choose to travel in?

Easy choice right?

So why do we stay in abusive relationships because of what people will say?
Why do we stay in stale relationships that look good on the outside but toxic on the inside?
Why do we keep managing relationships that are leading to nowhere?
Why do we keep praying for the wrong man to change instead of praying for the right man to find you?
Why do we keep entertaining a promiscuous partner with the excuse that “the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t”?
Why do we keep forgiving a partner that slaps and beats you at will because he loves you and maybe “it’s my fault he slapped me”?
Why do we smile for the camera (family, friends, colleagues, social media contacts) like we have a perfect relationship when we are dying on the inside?


It’s time you drop what people might think and stand by what you think because at the end of the day, “no one knows where the shoe pinches, but he who wears it.”
Don’t be the sad and bruised girl in a Range Rover Sport looking out of the window and admiring the happy and joyous girl in a taxi.
Life is too short to be unhappy.
A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.
Stop sitting on the fence and take that leap of faith.
Who cares what the camera sees when you are hurting in camera (pun intended).
Get out now while you still can.


7 Reasons Why We Need Enemies

 We all have enemies, those that our happiness causes them sadness and our sadness causes them happiness. Someone who had fought with you, hurt you by calling you names or disrespected you in public causing you immense pain. Someone you are angry with for quite a while or someone who had done something horrible to you or a loved one of yours. These are people we naturally hate and don’t want to associate with. But you just can’t deny the fact that enemies are as important as friends are and they serve many a purpose than just annoying and pissing us off. This might sound crazy but enemies are more beneficial to us than we think. Let’s take a look:

1. They Help Us Fulfill Purpose: Joseph in the Bible is a prime example of why we all need enemies. Joseph was loved by his father to the envy of his brothers. They wanted to kill him but decided to sell him into slavery. From slavery to a Prime Minister in Egypt. Imagine if he had no enemies, how would he have fulfilled destiny. God used Joseph’s enemies in his favour. The most wonderful example is Jesus Christ. If He was not betrayed by Judas Iscariot (frenemy), crucified by the Romans for doing absolutely nothing. He would not have died for our sins and resurrected on the 3rd day and we wouldn’t be here celebrating Easter. Sometimes enemies help in fulfilling destiny.

2. Keeps You Focused: One of the best ways to stay focused in the right direction is being motivated all the time, and if you have enemies then consider yourself the luckiest person on the earth as none can do the job of keeping you motivated better than an enemy. They make us work hard to reach them and harder to beat them but we will never give up as it is a matter of pride which we does not want to lose so ultimately we will be proud of our never say die attitude.

3. Makes You Better: Enemies have told you that you can never make it. They have told you that you will never amount to anything. You want them to eat their words so you work even harder to prove them wrong.

4. Makes You Dress Better: You can imagine going to an event where you know your sworn enemy is going to be present. You don’t want them to see you looking cheap or unkept so you take extra measures to look good to oppress them (Women are fond of

5. Helps Improve You: Friends and family will not tell you about the negatives in you because they like you too much. Enemies don’t like you so will tell you all the negatives in you. Friends will not point out your negatives and by so doing you never turn those negatives into positives. Enemies always point out your negatives and this helps you improve yourself.

6. The Competition is Good For The Society: Enemies have a way of highlighting your mistakes and thereby helps you improve. For example; APC is a political party in Nigeria and is an enemy of PDP which is the leading political party in Nigeria. APC has a canny way of highlighting the mistakes of the PDP led government which helps PDP stay grounded and helps them improve their performance. In the US, the Republicans have a way of highlighting the mistakes of the Democratically led government which also helps President Obama and his crew step up their game.

7. Enemies Will Make You A Better Person As A Whole: Enemies provide many chances for self-improvement. They will make you think strategically so that you can figure out some good ways to beat them in every possible field it leads to healthy competition. Your aims and ambitions will take a leap as you always try to be a step ahead of your enemy. Enemies serve as a reality check from time-to-time and you will be ready for everything that comes your way and you will grow stronger and smarter each passing day, people and even your enemy may start feeling jealous of you.

Someone once said “its safer to have enemies than friends because your enemies are your enemies (no pretense) but your friends could be enemies (wolf in sheep clothing).

Take advantage of your enemies and become a better person because of them. #Cheers