The Smile for the Camera Relationships

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Growing up, I realized quite early that God made my feet annoyingly big. My dad and brothers couldn’t pass down shoes to me because as early as 17, I had outgrown everyone’s shoe size.

During Youth Service, the NYSC officials couldn’t provide me with a shoe that could fit. I wear 46/47 and the most they had in my camp was size 45 so I was the only corper exempted from wearing boots. I wore slippers and my own shoes around the camp. It was that bad.

Have you ever seen a shoe you like but heartbroken that it doesn’t fit?

I go to the market to get shoes and come back depressed. The gorgeous shoes I see aren’t my size but with anger coupled with optimism, I buy one or two that fit a bit.
I wear them out to occasions and get the “beautiful shoe” compliments left, right and center which should be enough to offset the pain my feet is feeling. Right? WRONG!!!
When no one is looking, I find a place to get the damn shoes off, stretch my feet and let them breathe. It’s never worth it.

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Does my shoe struggles sound familiar with some relationship problems?

She’s beautiful, hot and quite presentable. She’s like a trophy wife. People keep gushing about her looks and poise but inside no one knows what you are enduring. She’s difficult to handle. She’s disrespectful. She’s lazy. She’s contentious.
He’s handsome, hardworking and funny with a very healthy bank account. He’s every girl’s dream. Girls are envious of you both and guys are jealous but inside no one knows what you are enduring. He speaks to you in a condescending manner, shouts at will and strikes you when he can’t stand your complaints.

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Let’s look at this “smile for the camera” type of relationships we keep having from another angle.

You are to travel from Abuja to Lagos by road with your family and given two options;
First is an unpainted Sienna bus with a regularly serviced engine, tires and a well-trained driver.
Second is a 2017 Range Rover Sports Utility Vehicle with a faulty engine, tired looking tires and an aggressive Fast and Furious driver.
Which of the automobiles would you choose to travel in?

Easy choice right?

So why do we stay in abusive relationships because of what people will say?
Why do we stay in stale relationships that look good on the outside but toxic on the inside?
Why do we keep managing relationships that are leading to nowhere?
Why do we keep praying for the wrong man to change instead of praying for the right man to find you?
Why do we keep entertaining a promiscuous partner with the excuse that “the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t”?
Why do we keep forgiving a partner that slaps and beats you at will because he loves you and maybe “it’s my fault he slapped me”?
Why do we smile for the camera (family, friends, colleagues, social media contacts) like we have a perfect relationship when we are dying on the inside?

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It’s time you drop what people might think and stand by what you think because at the end of the day, “no one knows where the shoe pinches, but he who wears it.”
Don’t be the sad and bruised girl in a Range Rover Sport looking out of the window and admiring the happy and joyous girl in a taxi.
Life is too short to be unhappy.
A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.
Stop sitting on the fence and take that leap of faith.
Who cares what the camera sees when you are hurting in camera (pun intended).
Get out now while you still can.

Say-Cheese-Truck-SOURCE-Meredith-Browndyke-Smith-

Ladies: Nude Pictures and Sex Tapes

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Its funny how a video of a couple having sex comes out and the girl gets the most of the trash talk. She’s a hoe, she’s loose, she’s this, she’s that. I’m like “Helloooooo, what about the dude in the video?”

A girl’s nude picture would travel faster and wider than that of a guy because a girl’s sexuality sells market (in an Igbo trader’s voice). Take a look at the commercials on TV, billboards, adverts on the internet, put a lady showing some flesh and even ladies would pay more attention.

The other day, the story of a beauty queen who got dethroned because her nude pictures got leaked by a tabloid in. her country got my attention. According to the source, she apparently shared the nude pictures on her Whatsapp group (like seriously?) before she became famous and then when fame came calling, she was caught pants down.

With this shameful debacle in mind, a friend pinged and asked me the same question I get asked all the time. In her own words “Is good for a girl to send nude pix to her bf?”.

The answer I gave to her was very short and straight to the point, but before I get to that, let me share the view on a few friends on the same topic when asked “is it okay for a girl to send nude pictures of herself to her intimate lover/boyfriend?”

Ere P:
Its not cool. What if he keeps it in his phone and does not delete. It might just go online if someone else gets to it. What if she cheats on him or wants to quit the relationship, he could use the pictures to blackmail her.
It’s not morally right. If she can be so confident in sending him a nude picture, how sure is she that he isn’t confident enough to do what he pleases with the picture?

Slimee:
I never used to see anything wrong with it but I think I do now. The rate at which guys leak female nudes is alarming. It all depends on d guy’s mindset though but it’s better not to send.

Joy:
No because you never can tell who might come across it. What if they breakup and he decides to expose her. Even if he doesn’t want to expose her intentionally, what if someone asks to see pictures on his phone, sees her nudes and transfers them to their phone.
What happens afterwards?

Chinda:
Nope, never okay. If the pictures gets out either intentionally or by mistake, would the love be strong enough to dame the consequences? Another bone of contention is the bad breakup angle, what if he decides out of jealousy/anger/envy to show the World her nude body?
Why not have a Skype call with him and show him whatever you must or you could send without ur face showing.
In my honest opinion, don’t even do it.

Rukky:
Answer to the question is No because you can never trust anyone over pictures in this internet age. There are so many cases of guys sharing their girls nude pictures on social networks. So I’d advise strongly against it. But if you think your boyfriend is responsible and has an image to uphold and you trust him a lot then it’s up to you.

 

Their replies reminded me of the lady who asked a popular blogger if it was okay to record herself having sex with her boyfriend. Both strike the same cord with is “nudity” which could turn into “public display of nudity” if the video/pictures gets out on the public domain.

The sad part is that ladies get hurt the most when such private acts are leaked unless you are a certain Kardashian whose sex tape helped spring her into celebrity status.

My advice to the lady was simple. I asked her just one question,
“If after you breakup with ur bf, he decides to send your nude pix to your friends and you find them on the internet, how would you feel?”
She replied “I would feel down, very bad, if not depressed”
And then I followed “That’s the risk you face each time you send him your nude picture. Its not worth it. If he wants to see you naked, he shuld see it live not through a picture”.┬áThat solved the issue as the dude (not even her bf) asking for her nudes was angry because she refused to send making her feel guilty.

In conclusion, most nude pictures/sex tapes come out unintentionally, ask Gabrielle Union and other celebrities caught in the cloud hack scandal. If you really want to send him a nude picture, don’t include your face, or at least it gives you some room to deny it was you if push comes to shove. Talking about sex tapes, don’t allow him record you both having sex under the guise that he will delete it later.
Be smart. Don’t do stupid things for love.
Be guided.