Date Your Wife and Marry Your Girlfriend

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“Date your wife and marry your girlfriend” – Kurtis Smith, 2015

I can’t stress the above quote enough. Let me break it down.

Date your wife: Most people enter into relationships for various reasons. For companionship, to be taken care of (women are mostly guilty of this), for the sex (men raise your hands), for social acceptance, to blend in or even because of boredom. Only a fraction of relationships that start on such shaky grounds ever reach the altar and even so only a small percentage of them last 10 years happily.

But imagine, a man sees a woman in her flaws and envisions “forever after” with her. He looks out for her best interest at heart. Builds her. Supports her. Forgives her. Loves and cherishes her. He is dating his wife.

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Marry your girlfriend: Then they get married. From that wedding day, the title changes from wife to girlfriend. We have made the title “wife” heavy with too much responsibility. A wife should be this. A wife should be that. Too much pressure. Instead he treats her like his girlfriend. He doesn’t make her to wash/clean/cook and all those wifely mumbo jumbo. He takes her on dates, makes love to her anywhere and everywhere, spoils her, cocoons her in unbinding love. He is married to his girlfriend.

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So remember, when next you envision marriage. Try it the other way around. Date your husband and marry your boyfriend. YOLO should actually be YOMO. You Only Marry Once.  Don’t make divorce an option. Marry your boyfriend/girlfriend today.

#CoupleGoals: IG—>>>> @timi_dorgu and @ife_x.

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Making Genuine Friends Doggystyle

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WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU

#Principle 4:
Anytime a friend pays me a visit at home, the first question they ask before even entering the gate is “hope you don’t have a dog?” It seems the innocence and beauty of dogs have been defeated by the way we use them in this part of the world which is mainly for security purposes. Let me not even talk about a particular tribe in Nigeria that eats dogs (their judgement is in Heaven..lol).
It was not until I traveled out that I knew why the dog was called man’s best friend. Dogs are treated like citizens, they have their clothing lines, some even have their own charities where people donate money monthly for their upkeep. Dogs eat three square meals like humans not in Nigeria were we give dogs the remnants of what we eat. Why do you think dogs are so loved abroad? Its simple. Dogs love people genuinely and they show it. You could see a dog coming down the street, when you get within ten feet of him, he will begin to wag his tail. If you stop and pat him, he will almost jump out of his skin to show you how much he likes you. And you know that behind this show of affection on his part, there are no ulterior motives: he doesn’t want to market a product to you, he doesn’t want to ask you for money, he doesn’t want to sleep with you, he doesn’t want to marry you. They are just genuinely happy to see you. A dog makes his living by giving you nothing but love.
The dog shows us that you can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Have you ever met someone that always talks about themselves, how much money they make, how many cars they have, the company they work for. They derive pleasure by trying to make you like them by bragging about themselves and their achievements. Have you noticed that those people hardly make sincere friends because instead of making people like them for who they are, they make people like them for what they have (when the money is gone, such friends are gone also).
People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves – morning, afternoon and evening. Day and night. Rainy season and dry season. When I say people are interested in themselves I mean their careers, their lives, their children, their families, their jobs and anything that concerns them.

If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true and sincere friends. Friends, real friends, are not made that way. Alfred Adler, the famous Viennese psychologist, wrote a book entitled What Life Should Mean to You. In that book he says: “It is the individual who is not interested
in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others.”
I have discovered from personal experience that one can win the attention and time and cooperation of even the most sought-after people by becoming genuinely interested in them. One of the lessons I learnt in preparing for an interview is never talk too much about yourself and your achievements, tell the interviewers how you can help their company move forward and help make them money.
If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people – things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness. If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm. When somebody calls you on the telephone use the same psychology. Say “Hello” in tones that bespeak how pleased you are to have the person call. Many companies train their telephone operators to greet all callers in a tone of voice that radiates interest and enthusiasm. The caller feels the company is concerned about them. Let’s remember that when we answer the telephone tomorrow.

Don’t forget that you can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

PRINCIPLE 4:
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Reference:
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie