The Pregnancy Story: Mrs Jolomi Odusi

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“Jolomi don born, she born boy” were the words that greeted me this morning as I arrived work. We weren’t expecting her to give birth till later in the month so I was so shocked/elated/happy that I didn’t know when I threw my bag into the office, jumped in the air and screamed for joy. “Guy, hope all is well? Why you dey shout?” were the words that brought me back to Earth. “Oga you never hear? Jolomi just born”, I replied the CSO (Chief Security Officer) of the company.

Jolomi might just be a colleague at work but she was my favorite colleague married to one of my favorite guys working in a partner company.
I had just joined the company when I became endeared to her because of her feisty nature. She is like the lion in a sheep’s costume. You don’t want to be caught in her web when she gets angry. The customers know her for that. She got married last December and I was there as her unofficial photographer (I had a good camera so decided to form busy body taking pictures). Fast forward a few months after the wedding and Jolomi don get belle. Her name in the office changed to “shooting essential” which was a loose name acknowledging her and her husband’s speedy transition from newly wedded to future parents.

I don’t think I have ever followed a pregnant mother’s progress during pregnancy like I did hers. It was from her I learnt about the pressure of “carrying belle” for the first time. From back aches, to constant urination to frequent favors (the can’t-you-see-she’s-pregnant kinda favors).

We used to tease her occasionally, calling her Mama Ibeji or Mama Ejima (twins) and she would reply with a stern look on her face “I have gone for scan and its just one baby, I don’t want twins o. I never finish with one, na two you wan dash me. I no want. One is enough”. That didn’t stop us from teasing her with the news of her upcoming “twins” or “triplets”, if you want to provoke her.

Pregnancy seems to make a family see life differently. The man prepares for a life with an extra mouth to feed or should I say a diaper to change. He also prepares for life without the sole attention of his wife (she has to give small baby more attention than big baby). He prepares for extra bills, naming ceremony, day care bills etc. The woman on the other hand prepares for the upcoming and ultimate test of her femininity, the test that Eve (Adam’s wife) brought upon all mothers. She prepares for a pampered vacation (leave) usually 3 months for working class ladies.

So back to the when I heard she had just put to bed. I dropped my bag even before entering the office, asked for directions to the hospital which luckily was just 5 minutes walk from the office. I wasn’t the type to stroll taking my time to the hospital. I jogged/ran with such vigor that you would have thought something was chasing me. I arrived at the hospital almost out of breathe and saw a few women gathered around a new born baby. “Where is the new mother though?”, I thought to myself. Looking around in hot anticipation, I sighted the new mother casually seated like one of the women that came to see her. I hugged her and kissed baby while standing in awe of God’s faithfulness.

I was in the midst of mothers (the new mother, her mum and her mother friends) so I was out of my depth so decided to shut up and bask in the motherly euphoria that enveloped the maternity ward of the hospital. Then the when-I-was-pregnant tales began with the mother describing how she gave birth way before schedule.

She commenced, “….so three different tests run by 3 different hospitals told me that my delivery date would be sometime late this month or early December so I wasn’t expecting to go into labor anytime soon. I came to see my mum and slept over but at night I just felt the baby kicking more than usual. Why is this baby disturbing me this night like this, I thought to myself. I didn’t take it serious until the punches and kicks became more intense and I knew something was up. I decided to stand and see if the pain would subside when all of a sudden, the much anticipated and talked about ” water breaking” moment happened. I screamed for my sister and next thing I knew I was at the hospital.
All I remember was being on my wrapper with the mindset that I would deliver my baby with decency but when the pain held my waist, I didn’t know when I threw the wrapper away and was totally nude begging the mid wife to take this baby out asap. I heard her say “PUSH”. I tried pushing but the pain persisted like my whole waist was about pulling off so I closed my legs in defiance. After a little while, baby came out of me and my composure was restored and just like Adam and Eve did in the Bible, I realized I was naked and covered myself. The amazing part is that it’s less than 6 hours since I put to bed and I feel very fine without any pains. Thank God for safe and painless delivery”.

Marriage is wonderful but parenthood is a different experience entirely. I will experience both one day but while I wait, let me use this opportunity those that have gone before me. Congratulations to the Mr. Bamidele Odusi, Mrs Jolomi Odusi and the entire Odusi and Oruwigho families.

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When Married Women Look Hotter Than Single Girls

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It’s common place in Africa that most women tend to gain weight after childbirth coupled with protruding tummies. African women are given to looking bigger after marriage especially after childbirth with the mindset that they don’t have to work as hard to keep shape. The mindset that they are married and don’t need to keep their sexy bodies to get a man would make a woman not make her hair, not keep herself looking youthful and wearing wrapper at home. This ideology makes a woman look ten times older than she truly is.
The challenge any woman should pose upon herself is to look more beautiful than she was on her wedding day.

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Marriage makes women lazy and complacent. She gives birth and she doesn’t bother working on her tummy to make it flat. She doesn’t bother to shed the ‘baby fat’ she gained during pregnancy properly. She’s too unconcerned to do kegel exercises which helps to tone the vaginal muscles after childbirth and return it to its tightened state.  She’s too lazy/busy to spend hours in the saloon to make her hair like she did when she was single or make her hails or even shave her veejay just because she’s married.
Women tend to forget that men are visual beings. Men are aroused not by what they hear. Men get aroused faster by sight than by what they touch. Therefore every woman should strive to remain in shape, sexy, hot, beautiful and very attractive during marriage and even after pregnancy.

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Omotola Jalade Ekeinde, the famous Nollywood actress is a figure head when it comes to looking youthful. She is very close to 40 years with 4 big kids but could be mistaken for a 25 year old lady.

 

 

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Another case of remarkable beauty after childbirth is Sonia Morales (IK Ogbonna’s Columbian wife). She gave birth only a few weeks ago and this post-pregnancy picture shocks the imagination. Seriously?…lol

 

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The most shocking for me is a friend. She’s been on my BBM for a while. She’s the I-must-snap-picture-everyday kinda contact. I knew she was married but just recently found out that she had already coughed out two kids from her model like body with the last child only 6 months old.

Ladies, you can look hotter and more attractive as a mother than as a single girl. All you need is the right information, the right exercises, the right selection of food and most importantly, the will. All the best.

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Understanding The Relationship Between Pregnancy, Menstruation and Ovulation

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I was having a conversation with a female friend who told me that a lady could be pregnant and still be seeing her period. It sounded absurd but she was very insistent. I let her win the first round because I didn’t have enough information to back my points up but I told her “I will do my research and come up with my findings”. During my research I had to ask a few female friends of their opinion before asking my best friend “Google”. My friends also affirmed that a woman could see her period while being pregnant but my research on Google had a different opinion. A health website called “New Health Guide” in an article titled “Can You Be Pregnant and Still Get Your Period?” had this to say about the above topic. I also discovered so many helpful articles for the female body that I decided to share them verbatim. Enjoy.

Can You Be Pregnant and Still Get Your Period?
The rumor that someone has had a period while they were pregnant is a common myth. Some women will experience vaginal bleeding during their pregnancy, and some even report that they appear to have bleeding that mimics a regular period. But this type of bleeding is not the same as menstruation. It is common for women to mistake vaginal bleeding for their period because this is the type of bleeding that occurs most often. What causes vaginal bleeding that resembles a period?
It is possible to get pregnant during your period, but it is not very likely. Once the body begins to produce human chorionic gondaotrophin (hCG) during pregnancy, you will no longer have periods. Around 25-30 percent of women who are pregnant experience bleeding or spotting early on in the pregnancy. There are a few causes that commonly lead to first-trimester bleeding, but none of these are signs that there is something wrong

1. Implantation Bleeding
This bleeding occurs when the fertilized egg attaches to the wall of the uterus. This commonly occurs 2-5 days after conception. This bleeding should be slight and only last for about 5-10 days after conception.

2. Hormonal Changes
This bleeding should be quite slight, but it may resemble your normal period. In some cases women will bleed throughout their pregnancy, but this is not their normal period. This is often caused by hormonal changes that occur when your body is getting used to the pregnancy.

3. Other Causes
You may experience bleeding after a vaginal exam, Pap smear or zed because there is an increase in the amount of blood going to the cervix when you are pregnant. Bleeding can also be a sign of troublesome symptoms such as ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage which could be life threatening.

Warnings
If you notice bleeding that is not slight during your pregnancy, call your midwife or doctor right away, even if the bleeding stops. Many women who bleed during pregnancy do not have complications but it is always best to rule out a serious problem. If you are experiencing active bleeding or pain and cannot reach your regular doctor, go to the emergency room.

What if I Have Symptoms of Pregnancy Followed by a Heavy Period?
If you are having unusual symptoms that make you think you are pregnant, but are also experiencing heavy bleeding, you should talk to your doctor. These symptoms may be caused by a hormone imbalance, miscarriage or infection, but a medical examination is the only way to know for sure so you can receive the right care.

What if I Have a Negative Pregnancy Test and a Missed Period?
Negative pregnancy test can indicate that you are really not pregnant, but you may have taken the test incorrectly or too early. Pregnancy tests have varying sensitivity on when they can detect hCG hormones, so you may not have given your body time to produce enough hCG at a level that can be detected by your test. Pregnancy tests can also expire, rendering the results invalid. You should make sure you follow all of the instructions on the packaging to make sure you are likely to get an accurate result from your pregnancy tests. Some women can get accurate results from a pregnancy test the day their missed period occurs, while others will not get a result until 3-4 weeks later. You should take a pregnancy test after you have missed a period, but if it comes back negative you should take another a week later if your period has still not started.

Can I Get Pregnant Right before Period?
It is hard to get pregnant right before your period because ovulation takes place around 2 weeks before this point in your menstrual cycle. If a woman has an irregular cycle it is possible to ovulate closer to your period, making it possible for fertilization or implantation to take place. In some cases people are actually experiencing other types of bleeding that is mistaken for a period. So if you are bleeding when you are not due for your period it may actually be a symptom of pregnancy.

Can You Get Pregnant after Ovulation?
Ovulation is a part of the female menstrual cycle. You can get pregnant after ovulation if you have had sexual intercourse that resulted in conception. While it is possible to get pregnant “any time” during your cycle your chances are the highest at the point of ovulation. Understanding the probabilities surrounding different time periods where you could get pregnant can help you understand the likelihood of this occurring. It is only possible to get pregnant for a short time after ovulation. After the egg has been released from the follicle there is a 12-48 hour period where the egg is available for fertilization from male sperm. Sperm can live for up to 5 days in a woman’s body because they are sustained by cervical mucus. There are often sperm waiting in the fallopian tubes to fertilize an egg just after it was released during ovulation. Active and healthy sperm will take around 6 hours after ejaculation to swim from the cervix to the uterus and fallopian tube to meet an egg that is waiting to be fertilized. Therefore it is possible to become pregnant 1-2 days after ovulation.

Here are your odds of getting pregnant before and after ovulation.
Odds of conceiving:
5 days before ovulation- 0 percent
4 days before ovulation- 11 percent
3 days before ovulation- 15 percent
2 days before ovulation- 20 percent
1 day before ovulation- 26 percent
Day of ovulation- 15 percent
1 day after ovulation- 0.09 percent
2 days after ovulation- 0.05 percent
3 days after ovulation- 0 percent

Can You Ovulate Twice in Once Cycle?
There will only be one fertile period with every menstrual cycle when Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) hormones rise and the follicles in the ovaries release an egg. Ovulation is triggered by a specific blend of hormones that inform your body it is time to move through the menstrual cycle, and once this occurs there is only a 24 hour period when your hormones peak. After ovulation occurs the hormone levels decline and your body will go through a feedback cycle that causes menstruation.
It is possible for eggs to be released from two follicles in this period, which can result in fraternal twins. Between 1-3 percent of all births are fraternal twins. It is now believed that 1 in 8 pregnancies are caused by early fertilization of more than one egg but less than half of these second embryos survive for more than a few weeks following ovulation. If the embryo does not survive the body will reabsorb this tissue.

What Happens after Ovulation?
If You Are Pregnant:
If the egg is fertilized by sperm it will create a zygote which will take around 5 days to travel from the fallopian tube to the uterus. During this time the cells will divide to form a blastocyst. Around 8-10 days after fertilization this blastocyst will implant in the uterine wall.
Before the blastocyst implants there is very little change in the body. After implantation you may notice spotting or bleeding that some mistake for a period. The blastocyst will then begin to grow into an embryo which will cause hormones to release that will seal the cervix with a mucus plug and thicken the endometrium.

If You Are not Pregnant:
Within 48 hours the egg will move into the fallopian tubes and disintegrate where it will be reabsorbed. The corpus luteum will produce progesterone for 12-14 days which will eventually drop and cut off blood flowing to the uterine lining. As this tissue is deprived of oxygen it will get thick and seep into the vagina, causing your period.

After ovulation and before menstruation your body temperature will be around 0.5 degrees Celsius higher than normal. Your cervical mucus will also become less slippery and become more creamy or sticky in consistency.”

 

Reference: http://www.newhealthguide.org

5 Reasons Why You Should Never Be Pregnant

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I was having a conversation with a friend and I told her of my disappointment in girls that get pregnant and either give birth or abort. I gave her some of the points listed below but her excuse was that information is not readily available to these girls. I see it as ignorance because the information is readily available but they choose to ignore it.
Here are my 5 reasons why a single (unmarried) woman should never be pregnant.

1. Sex is overrated: When it comes to the issue of sex, its a man’s world. If a man has sex with over 50 girls, he is hailed as a player (a bad guy) that gets girls at the snap of his finger. On the other hand, if a girl has sex with over 10 guys, she is called all sorts of names that range from loose girl to promiscuous girl. Another point is the fact that too much sex naturally doesn’t affect a man’s private part but it affects a lady’s. A man could have sex with 100 ladies and it would never show on his private part. For a lady, the more sexual partners she has, the likelihood of her vaginal walls expanding, the more it expands, the looser it becomes. That’s why a girl that sleeps around will find it difficult to satisfy her husband (assuming her husband’s private part is on the smaller side).
When advising my younger sister on sex many years ago, I told her that her private part was like a new lollipop. In its unwrapped state (as a virgin), she is still new, untouched and covered but as soon as the lollipop gets unwrapped, it looses value. The more men lick the lollipop (have sex with her), the more it looses its value. I then asked her, as a man would you rather have a brand new lollipop or a lollipop that has been licked by 10 men before you. Her answer was clear. To any lady that cares to listen, sex is overrated and its worth waiting for, don’t be pressured or rushed into giving it away.

2. Condom is cheap: The importance of condoms cannot be overemphasized and without its availability the spread of diseases would be astronomical with pregnancy and abortion cases through the roof. Perception of many is that sex without a condom is more enjoyable than sex with a condom but is a certain percentage decrease in pleasure factor worth the risk of infections and pregnancy? Its surely not a wise decision in the long run.  The use of a condom is not only the responsibility of the man but also of the woman. As soon as you guys are about tearing each other’s clothes into shreds, ask him for his condom. The usual excuses men give are “its far”, “I don’t have one”, “sex without condom is not sweet”, “I am clean, if your clean let’s do it”. After he finishes blabbing, ask him again “where is your condom?” And make it certain that NO CONDOM, NO SEX.
Another point to note is the proper use of a condom. Some guy’s are usually in a hurry so they either wear the condom wrongly or improperly. As a girl, its your duty to either wear the condom for him or cross check if it was worn properly to avoid stories that touch. Remember you are the one that carries the pregnancy not him, you are the one that takes the shame not him, you are the one that drops out of school not him. Be guided.

3. Withdrawal method: This method is strictly for faithful couples. You are faithful and your partner is faithful is the only time this method is fail proof. Withdrawal method is when a man pulls out his penis a minimum of 5 seconds before cuming and ejaculates outside the woman’s private part. It takes a whole lot of self discipline to make this method work because as explained in an earlier post titled “Understanding HIS Private Part“, the part of the body that orders the testicles to release the sperm is the spinal cord of the man not his brain. As that point, his brain is no longer operational (meaning he doesn’t think straight anymore). As far as he withdraws before ejaculation, he can never get you pregnant.

4. Flush your system: To illustrate this point, I will use a seed (mango seed) to represent the sperm and the ground stands for the woman’s womb. A man plants his mango seed in a lady’s ground and after a period of time it begins to germinate (she gets pregnant). In as much as it takes an amount of time for the seed in the ground to germinate, it also takes a particular amount of time for the sperm to stay alive inside the woman’s system. Research has shown that the male sperm can live close to 5 days in the woman’s system so women are advised to take precautionary measures a maximum of 3 days after sex to prevent unwanted pregnancy. There are drugs in the pharmacy for this so I’m not going to recommend any here. Ask your pharmacist.

5. Abortion destroys: If you actually knew the number of women who have aborted at least a baby in their life time, you will be shocked and I mean very shocked. The excuses I get from these girls is that they actually didn’t abort a child but a fetus because it hasn’t formed into a child yet. My view still remains that as long as you miss your period, a baby is on the way. Aborting it at 3 weeks or at 6 months is murder, please stop killing the future leaders of tomorrow. Abortion leaves both mental and  physical scars that take years to fully recover from. In some cases where uncertified doctors were used, some girls bleed to death or get their wombs destroyed.

In conclusion and as I will always say, sex is not love and can never be love. It is a form of expressing love in the confines of marriage but if you feel marriage is too far then please make proper use of a condom. If condom is too boring for you and your faithful partner then practice withdrawal method. One way or the other, the sperm gets into you system, flush it out as soon as possible because the effects of abortion is both physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

The Domino Effects of Premarital Pregnancy

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Sandra is a smart teenager who aspires to be a lawyer. During the course of her studies, she meets Emeka who dreams of taking over his father’s electronics business in Alaba International Market. They both meet and fall in love, one thing led to another she gets pregnant. This pregnancy has implications and will be analysed using the domino effect which states that a chain reaction occurs when a small change causes a similar change nearby.

1. Abortion and Infertility: She aborts the baby at 2 months old and moves on with her life. She gets married and 5 years after her wedding day is yet to get pregnant. A trip to the doctor with her husband and a few tests after shows that her womb was affected by the abortion she had while in the University. She can never give birth (unless a miracle happens), so her husband out of frustration gets another woman pregnant, moves her into the house as his second wife and Sandra feels devastated and betrayed.

2. Abortion and Guilt: She aborts the baby successfully and it doesn’t affect her womb in anyway. As she grows older and sees other children, she gets psychologically affected with the thoughts of the child she killed in her womb. Anytime her pastor preaches on abortion, she goes home to cry. She sees a child and immediately imagines the child she once had but never gave birth to. She lives forever with guilt.

3. Childbirth: She decides not to abort the baby. She approaches Emeka (the child’s father) about the pregnancy and Emeka humorously asks her the infamous question “who is the father?”, in tears she affirms that he is the father but Emeka vehemently denies paternity and breaks up with her terminating all forms of communication between them. She proceeds to inform her parents of the pregnancy and out of sheer disappointment and in a bid to save their reputation, they send her to Ghana to stay with her sister who resides there until she gives birth. She had to take a break from school, she had to put her dreams on hold, she has to live with the shame of premarital pregnancy. Her parents and her boyfriend want no hand in the upbringing of the baby so she struggles to make enough money to take care of herself and the baby so she ventures into a sugar daddy lifestyle and prostitution.

4. Baby Mamma Syndrome: Sandra is single with a child to take care of by herself. She meets James during her stay in Ghana but after a while she finally discloses to him that she has a child. James becomes distant and breaks up the relationship. After James comes Tope, after Tope came Chris but all these men claimed to love her but did not want to get married to a single mother.

5. Father-less child: Over a million children are born out of wedlock every year and most grow without the influence of a father. A child grows up with the knowledge that his/her father denied him/her from childbirth can only cause resentment towards that man and other men in general.

6. Forced Marriage: So Sandra tells Emeka about the pregnancy but instead of denying, he accepts paternity. They are not ready for marriage but in a bid to save their family’s reputation, they decide to get married. They get married just because they are expecting a child together and after 3 months of married life, they discover that they really had nothing in common. The young marriage is already on the rocks but they decide to stay in it. Emeka begins to date other women outside while Sandra is secretly having an affair with her boss at work.

Sex is one of the most beautiful adventures any couple can experience but God designed sex to be between a married couple. Abstain till marriage to avoid such heartaches and trauma. In case you know that you cannot abstain till marriage, please the next option is the correct use of a condom. The reason why I omitted the second option after abstinence which is “Being Faithful” is because, faithfulness can help avoid sexually transmitted infections (if both partners are really faithful) but this doesn’t avoid pregnancy. Don’t be a Sandra, keep yourself till marriage. Sex is worth waiting for.