What IF banana FALL on you today?


'will design for fo2'

What IF I told you that banana would FALL on you now, what would you say? Lol.

The Nigerian music scene has been laden with so much sexual innuendo that one can’t help but flinch when eating fruits these days.

No fruit or plant has escaped musicians wrath with cassava, cucumber, banana, eggplant all caught in their sexually explicit lingua franca.


These sexual undertones have endeared most to these artists and their songs but taking a deeper look into the male organ, what do women really have to say about its size and usage?

In an impromptu survey conducted on a group of 10 friends, ‘size matters’ came up tops for 5 participants, 4 went for ‘usage’ while the last one went for something I never heard in my life (we will discuss that much later).
In the view of the ‘size matters’ advocates, as long as the size of a man’s organ isn’t big enough for the width of a woman’s vagina, no matter how good he is, she won’t reach sexual climax.


The 4 people championing the course for ‘usage’ however insist that size does in fact matter with one going as far as quoting the preacher, Myles Munroe who said “when the purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable”. In the words of two ‘usage’ advocates; “Size doesn’t matter. Some sizes could be big and still not function properly so what matters is how skilled the owner is at using it. Size only adds to the feeling”.

However, out of the 10 people questioned, whereas five chose ‘size’ and four opted for ‘usage’, one stood out completely. The purpose of this article is looking at her very interesting view on the subject matter.

In Halimat’s opinion, size doesn’t matter and usage doesn’t really matter, ‘aura’ matters.
In her words “It all depends on the mind and desire. The mind works in mysterious ways. It creates the picture and sends to the brain which in return produces hormones. For this reason a person can be sexually attracted to a woman who is endowed without her necessarily using that endowment in bed. It’s all about the mind of an individual not the size or usage of the joystick”.


It took me a while to understand her point of view but then it hit me.

A girl can fall for the body of a man who’s not good in bed and with a small organ because her mind has taken her satisfaction from the actual sex to the aura surrounding him. Only his hands over her, his kisses, his touch, his tongue, his words, his sweat, his energy makes her achieve climax. Her mind has rewired her brain from the ‘size’ and ‘usage’ mentality to the ‘aura’ mentality. Makes total sense.


Just like a car owner who loves a particular car, dreams of the car, craves for the car only to get the car and find out that it consumes too much fuel or doesn’t drive as he had wished fast. His love for the car would require his brain to ignore the other elements not working to his taste.

Same way a girl can love a guy that cheats but still stay in the relationship because he takes good care of her and makes her happy.
The same way a man can stay with a lady girl in bed because her booty is made of silicon.

Same way a girl can become a single mother for Davido just because of the aura (fame, money, influence, power, personality) he carries around with him.
Think about it.

So when next you are asked the question, does size matter. Maybe your answer should be, ‘no, size doesn’t matter, aura does’.

On a different note, maybe we are just crazy and might never know what women really want…lol

'will design for food 2'

When The Pen is The Right Size


Looking back at my early teenage years growing up, one event remains ever vivid in my memory and shaped my perception of sex forever.

I don’t know if I would tag what happened that fateful day a cruel punishment or a sick joke but what transpired between my roommates and the “evil seniors” was hella cruel.

We had just finished eating dinner in the hostel and had gone to the hostel to sleep when a senior called for a junior from our room for whatever purpose known to him.

A Senior simply had to say “Junior come to my room” and available juniors in that room were to rush to the senior with immediate alacrity.

So senior says “Junior come to my room” and everyone including myself pretends to be sleeping. Senior proceeds to the room, wakes everyone up and matches us to his room for punishment.

Senior and his mates with their sick sense of humor proceeds to humiliate us by making us all remove our trousers and for them to examine our dicks.

Every boy’s private part was scrutinized with small James a butt of most of their jokes.
“Will this one even impregnate a girl? With his penis like pencil” one said while the others laughed.

We were barely 13 years old so you can imagine the embarrassment on our innocent faces.

The biggest dicks were allowed to go back to the room unpunished while the ones with the smallest dicks were to be whipped with belts and made to wash all the seniors clothes.

That experience invariably implanted the notion that the bigger a man’s dick, the more manly he is and the more attractive he was to girls. Simple.

But (a big but actually), becoming sexually active has taught me something drastically different about the “the bigger the better” notion.

When I was younger, I never gave much thought to the size of my penis. I was well endowed growing up and I was very pleased with what nature had given me, I expected my partners to be happy with it, too.


Sex isn’t meant to be unpleasant and I didn’t want to hurt anybody but even when I was trying to be gentle it seemed unavoidable, and I found that hard to accept. I was apparently too big and that became my curse.

Concerning the size of a man’s penis and satisfying a woman, I have experienced the “too big” level and also heard “too small” tales wherein a lady is asking her partner if he’s in when he is actually in. Depressing stories.


Every single woman is an individual, so I can’t generalize for all women but its safe to say that a woman’s preference for the size of a man’s penis is mainly dependent on two factors; the width of her vagina and her pain tolerance level.

For example, it would be suicidal for a virgin looking to open her sexual account to open with a large audience (I’m sure you get my drift..lol).

Alternatively, women who have given birth vaginally to children, and/or are sexually active would most likely be a little wider down there and more adventurous. These women may prefer men who are a little bit thicker (but not necessarily longer).

Some women can have just a little bit wider vagina than other women do and the width of her vagina would naturally determine the size of penis she becomes comfortable accommodating.

Pain threshold on the other hand is the maximum level of pain that a person is able to tolerate. Some ladies have a higher pain tolerance level than others which would make taking a bigger dick a risk worth taking and the more pain she tolerates, the further her pain threshold (the point at which pain begins to be felt) is pushed and the gradually her hormones and mind converts the pain to pleasure.

In fact, where size is concerned, most women think it’s girth (width) that matters, not length. Ladies just want to be able to feel you inside of them. Simple.

One very important point: most women do not orgasm through penis-in-vagina intercourse. Some do (approximately 25%, from what I hear). The remaining 75% need a man to focus on stimulating her clitoris and/or other parts of her vulva, and/or her G-spot. This can be done with the penis, but in that case the size of your penis really doesn’t matter one bit. And a majority of women seem to prefer oral sex (cunnilingus). No penis needed at all.

For women, achieving orgasm isn’t a simple in-and-out procedure the way it is for men. You’re going to have to start all over again with every single woman you have sex with, learning what works for her. So you may be figuring out by now, verbal communication is key. Ask her.

So anyone that tells you that ladies prefer it big isn’t entirely truthful with you.

In as much as ladies don’t like small dicks, no one wants to encounter a womb destroyer.

Long story short: it matters somewhat, but how said person is in bed (and how willing they are to be flexible and do what needs to be done for their partner) is way more important.” Becky

The most important thing to satisfying a lady is more what they do with their hands and mouth, rather than the penis being the only sexual effort!

Size is nice and definitely a plus, but if a guy know how to use it and have other ‘skills,’ then sometimes it doesn’t matter.


25 Women Share Their Thoughts on Whether Penis Size Matters on Bustle.com

43 Love Secrets on AskMen.com

How Women Really Feel About Penis Size on PsychologytToday.com

Does Size Really Matter on Mariecliare.co.uk

Why Does Size Matter to Almost Every Female on Quora.com

7 Reasons You Feel Bad After Having Sex


After God created Adam, He commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat. But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest of it thou shalt surely die”.

This task wasn’t difficult for Adam to keep because the woman wasn’t created when the instruction was passed down to him. So man was busy with dressing and keeping the garden (Genesis 2:15), naming the animals (Genesis 2:19) and enjoying a daily communication/friendly gist with God (Genesis 2:18,20).

While Adam was doing his work, God saw that he needed a help-meet and then God put Adam to a deep sleep and out of his rib created woman.

Eve was created……….

Remember Eve wasn’t around when the instruction was given to Adam. Adam was the one who conveyed the message to Eve.


Up stepped the serpent.

Now let’s understand something about the serpent who deceived both Adam and Even into eating the forbidden fruit.

Firstly, the serpent isn’t responsible for deceiving the Adam and Eve. The culprit is the devil. The serpent was only the medium to which the deception was perpetuated.


Secondly, the devil was formerly an angel in Heaven called Lucifer which means “Day Star” (Isaiah 14:12). Lucifer was in fact a heavenly angel created by God. He was perfect in wisdom and beauty and stood next to God’s throne/(Ezekiel 28:12). He was so beautiful and his voice so Heavenly that he was made the leader of the choir in Heaven ministering to God in worship (Ezekiel 28:13). Then Lucifer decided to attempt to unseat God and then demand that all worship him (Ezekiel 28:17, Isaiah 14:13, 14). It was treason of the worst kind. Lucifer’s discontent became open rebellion against God. One-third of heaven’s angels joined him in an attempt to overthrow God (Revelations 12:3-4). As a result, Lucifer and his followers were cast out of Heaven after they lost a fight for supremacy with Michael and his angels (Revelations 12:7-9).


So after the devil was cast down to Earth with his angels, God created Adam and gave him dominion over the Earth (Genesis 1:28-30).

The devil was having none of it. Not only did his attempt to gain power in Heaven fail so acrimoniously, even on Earth were he was cast down to, he had no power.

So he decided to wrestle power from Adam and Even by deceiving them to sin against God.


In Genesis 3, the devil approached Eve and asked her if it was true that God said they couldn’t eaten the forbidden fruit. She replied “Yes, that’s what God said. We can eat other fruits but not this one because the day we eat it, we will surely die”.
The devil seeing an opportunity to strike then told her “my dear, don’t be deceived, if you eat this fruit, you will not die but your eyes will be opened”.

The gullible Eve, took a second look at the fruit, saw that it was good for food and pleasant to the eyes. She took it eat and gave it to her husband and he did also eat and their eyes were opened. Immediately they saw that they were naked and sowed leaves together and covered themselves up.


Let’s stop here and let me show you how this story relates to sex.

Adam and Eve can be likened to every unmarried couple out there to whom God has instructed not to eat the forbidden fruit which is having premarital sex.
Remember the Bible says “the tree in the middle of the garden”. The middle of the garden connotes the penis/vagina. You are very aware that both sexual organs are in between the legs of both genders.


The devil knows that the surest way to take power from young unmarried people on Earth is by tempting them to eat the forbidden fruit (have premarital sex).

In the Bible, he used the serpent, but today he uses porn, sexual explicit videos, sexually active friends, sugar daddies, social media, sexually perverse song lyrics, movies, friends with benefits and many other mediums.


Have you ever wondered why virgins are considered to be mundane, frigid and not exposed? People assume that having sex opens one’s eyes. Having sex actually opens one’s eyes but remember that’s the same promise the devil gave Eve in Genesis 3:5 ‘For God doth know, that in the day ye eat of it, then your eyes shall be opened: and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil’.


So you see the similarities……..

So taking a cue from Adam and Eve, what happens when you have premarital sex?

1. You sin and allign yourself with the devil: By rejecting one of God’s commands, Adam and Eve allied themselves with Satan, God’s enemy, and thus brought separation between themselves and God (Isaiah 59:2). “He that committeth sin is of the devil.” 1 John 3:8. Therefore by having premarital sex, you are working with the devil in rebelling against God. Simple.


2. You hand over power to the devil: Remember Adam and Eve were given charge over Earth by God in Genesis 1:28-30 but as soon as they sinned, they lost it to Satan (Romans 6:16), who then became ruler, or prince, of the earth (John 12:31). Premarital sex or adulterous sex (sex between a married person and another person not their spouse) is directly handing over power to the devil.


3. We become prey to the devil:  Satan bitterly hates humans, who were created in God’s image. He can’t touch God. So, instead, his venom is directed against people who are God’s children. He’s a hateful, vicious murderer whose aim is to destroy you and thus hurt God. By convincing Adam and Eve to sin against God, he made God send them packing from the Garden of Eden. By convincing you to have premarital sex, he has made you loose your heritage in Christ.


4. Repercussions: When Adam and Eve sinned, God cursed them. For Adam he was made to toil endlessly to get his daily bread and take care of his family. For Eve, God multiplied her sorrow and made childbirth excruciating for her. When you sin by committing adultery/fornication, there are repercussions. You will reap what you sow. It’s one of the rules of life. Galatians 6:7 “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh (sexual immorality) shall from the flesh reap corruption: but he that soweth to the Spirit, shall from the Spirit reap life everlasting”.


5. Unanswered prayers: When Adam and Eve sinned against God, when God came into the garden they hid from Him. Sin makes you stink in the presence of God. It makes you unworthy and makes your prayers futile.


So why do some people feel bad after sex?

1. Destination: The Bible says in Ephesians 5:5 “For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. This caution was re-echo’d in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God”.
So having premarital sex means that if you were to die on that bed, you will be going to Hell.


2. Sin against your body: A girl has sex and afterwards starts crying. She knows she has given out her soul and her body to someone undeserving of her. She feels guilty. Feels ashamed. Feels used. Feels unpure. She just sinned against her body and God.
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18).


3. Going against God’s will: God’s desire for sex is for it to be practised in marriage. For the Bible says in Hebrews 13:4a, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure”. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 “For this is the will of God, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God”. Anytime you pleasure in sex, you displease God.


4. You will be judged: The Bible says in Hebrews 13:4b “God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral”. Which means on the judgment day, a special judgement will be reserved for those that engage in premarital sex. So instead of seeing this as the writer judging you (remember you will be judged by God Himself later on), see it as a correction.


5. You are spiritually intertwined: Most people assume that sex is just sex. Sex is more than just sex. Sex is more spiritual that we think. Have you ever wondered why married couples begin to look and think alike after being married for so long? Sex has brought them as one.


The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:13-20 “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.”
You are joined in one body with all those numerous sex partners you have had. Their travails, problems and issues becomes yours.


6. Unanswered prayers: Have you ever wondered why your prayers to God don’t get answered? 2 Timothy 2:22 “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. God only answers those that call upon Him with a pure heart. Sexual immorality pollutes the heart.


7. Love for God: Lastly, premarital sex is disobedience to God and disobeying God shows you don’t love Him. “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15). Anytime you have premarital sex, you display your love for sin and that’s showing your love for Satan because Satan is the father of sin (1 John 3:8).


NOTE: This article is not written to condemn anyone. No one is holy (Romans 3:10). No one is righteous (Ecclesiastes 7:20). No one is perfect (Romans 3:23). It is written for us to slowly and surely correct our ways. Live a life of godliness and remember “because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband (1 Corinthians 7:2).

Get married if you can’t hold yourself and if married, remain faithful.


Vote of Thanks: I woke up this morning without even a hint of this article. I just engaged God in my daily morning prayers and He ministered this article into my heart. I sat down and 4 hours later and in one sitting this article was birthed.

So firstly, I thank the Holy Spirit for this article.
Secondly, I need to appreciate Google for its humongous search engine capabilities. Helped me source for scriptures to back my messages and the beautiful images.
Thirdly, the guys at Amazing Facts, your article on the devil was more than helpful. Thank you. You can read up via: http://www.amazingfacts.org/media-library/study-guide/e/4979/t/did-god-create-the-devil and also Open Bible for so many wonderful scriptures on sexual immorality. Read up via: https://www.openbible.info/topics/sexual_immorality

Stay blessed.

READ: 10 Ways Sex Ruins Relationships

10 Ways Sex Ruins Relationships


We all know about sex and how it affects our daily lives. Everyone of us apart from test tube babies are born out of sexual intercourse between a male and a female. The jury is still out on the impact of premarital sex but we all agree that sex should only be practiced in the confines of marriage. Let’s not deceive ourselves people are having sex on a daily basis. As a matter of fact, a statistics I discovered in http://www.quora.com states that roughly 240 million people have sex daily and I can guess not up to 30% of these people are married. Anyways back to the matter at hand, this article just analyses the different ways premarital sex can affect a relationship detrimentally.

1. Faulty Foundation: A relationship built on friendship and companionship will always last longer than a relationship built on sex. The part a solid foundation plays in the solidification of a building cannot be overemphasized. No matter how beautiful a building is, if the foundation is faulty its only a matter of time before that building collapses. When sex is used to build a relationship, more times than not it doesn’t last.

2. Disappointment: Have you ever wondered why people that marry as virgins are more content with their sex lives in marriage than people that had lots of sex before marriage. This is simply because there is no level for comparison between current and former sexual partner. The only reason you will enjoy vanilla ice cream over strawberry ice cream is because you have tasted both and you prefer one over the other. As soon as you taste sex outside marriage and you are not deriving the same pleasure you did prior to marriage while in marriage, a sense of disappointment engulfs you.

3. Over-dependency  This question is directed to the ladies; have you ever dated someone that avoids you when you are on your period? Someone that anytime you both see, sex is always on the menu? When sex is all that binds a couple together, not companionship or friendship then I can rest assure you that as soon as her/she gets better sex outside, you are on your way to be called an ex.

4. Cheating: There are many reasons people cheat but one of the major reasons happens to be sex related. An interesting study published in 2005 found that more men cheat because of sex than women. If a girl thinks she can satisfy her man in bed, guess what another girl thinks she can satisfy your man her man better.

5. Diseases: The rate at which sexually transmitted diseases are transferred from one person to another through sex is alarming these days. People don’t realize that they are having sex with more than 10 people when they are having sex with an unfaithful partner. For example, you have sex with a guy that has unprotected sex with 5 other girls. Those girls had sex with one other guy each which means whatever they contacted from those guys have been transferred to her unfaithful boyfriend who then transfers it to her. STIs are not limited to HIV, it also includes other infections like gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes and many others.

6. Aborted Dreams: when a lady gets pregnant in marriage its a joy for her family but when a lady gets pregnant outside marriage she becomes a scorn to her family. It’s either she aborts and dies trying, she aborts and lives with the guilt forever, she aborts and destroys her womb or she gives birth to the child and has to stop her education to take care of the baby. For more info on premarital pregnancy and its effects, see (The Domino Effects of Premarital Pregnancy: http://wp.me/p4d0zy-5x)

7. Distrust: If your spouse was unable to show self-control before marriage what makes him or her have self-control after marriage? Many people have affairs because they have never demonstrated control of their sexual drive prior to the marriage vows. Premarital sex can lead to adultery, which is a high cause of divorce.

8. Disrespect: Often having a sexual relationship in dating can lead to feelings of being used and rejected. A lady has sex with her boyfriend and when they break up, the guy moves on easily but the lady feels used which affects her relationship with other men.

9. Spiritual Disconnection: The Bible frowns on premarital sex and when practiced outside the confines of marriage has a way of disconnecting us from God. Remember premarital sex is a sin and according to 1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee from sexual immorality”.

10. Disillusionment: Sex has a way of clouding our judgement and keeping us blind to a person’s faults and bad habits. I remember a friend who came to me with a heavy heart, she claims that her boyfriend hits her at any slight provocation but after he hits her, she begs and they have makeup sex which according to her is usually the best sex ever. She has this amazing sex life with this woman beater and this clouds her judgment of him. I asked her the day he finally damages one of her eyes with his beatings, would she enjoy the sex with one eye? That question made her think straight and look beyond the sex to the real matter at hand. Sex is like a plaster that covers an injury. It might cover the hurt you feel inside for a short time but after a while, the plaster falls off and you are exposed to the hurt for a life time.

Paul’s solution in 1 Corinthians 7:25-28 for dealing with sexual desires and avoiding the problems listed above is to get married and have sex (a lot of God-ordained sex..*wink*). Getting married doesn’t necessarily solve sexual temptations but its a good place to start.

Thanks for reading and please lets encourage abstainance till marriage by sharing this article with friends on social media. #Cheers


Contact Kurtis Smith for relationship advice, counseling, freelance writing and consultancy work along with speaking at public or private events via these means:
Twitter: @kurtissmithblog
Email: kingkurtissmith@gmail.com
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The Domino Effects of Premarital Pregnancy


Sandra is a smart teenager who aspires to be a lawyer. During the course of her studies, she meets Emeka who dreams of taking over his father’s electronics business in Alaba International Market. They both meet and fall in love, one thing led to another she gets pregnant. This pregnancy has implications and will be analysed using the domino effect which states that a chain reaction occurs when a small change causes a similar change nearby.

1. Abortion and Infertility: She aborts the baby at 2 months old and moves on with her life. She gets married and 5 years after her wedding day is yet to get pregnant. A trip to the doctor with her husband and a few tests after shows that her womb was affected by the abortion she had while in the University. She can never give birth (unless a miracle happens), so her husband out of frustration gets another woman pregnant, moves her into the house as his second wife and Sandra feels devastated and betrayed.

2. Abortion and Guilt: She aborts the baby successfully and it doesn’t affect her womb in anyway. As she grows older and sees other children, she gets psychologically affected with the thoughts of the child she killed in her womb. Anytime her pastor preaches on abortion, she goes home to cry. She sees a child and immediately imagines the child she once had but never gave birth to. She lives forever with guilt.

3. Childbirth: She decides not to abort the baby. She approaches Emeka (the child’s father) about the pregnancy and Emeka humorously asks her the infamous question “who is the father?”, in tears she affirms that he is the father but Emeka vehemently denies paternity and breaks up with her terminating all forms of communication between them. She proceeds to inform her parents of the pregnancy and out of sheer disappointment and in a bid to save their reputation, they send her to Ghana to stay with her sister who resides there until she gives birth. She had to take a break from school, she had to put her dreams on hold, she has to live with the shame of premarital pregnancy. Her parents and her boyfriend want no hand in the upbringing of the baby so she struggles to make enough money to take care of herself and the baby so she ventures into a sugar daddy lifestyle and prostitution.

4. Baby Mamma Syndrome: Sandra is single with a child to take care of by herself. She meets James during her stay in Ghana but after a while she finally discloses to him that she has a child. James becomes distant and breaks up the relationship. After James comes Tope, after Tope came Chris but all these men claimed to love her but did not want to get married to a single mother.

5. Father-less child: Over a million children are born out of wedlock every year and most grow without the influence of a father. A child grows up with the knowledge that his/her father denied him/her from childbirth can only cause resentment towards that man and other men in general.

6. Forced Marriage: So Sandra tells Emeka about the pregnancy but instead of denying, he accepts paternity. They are not ready for marriage but in a bid to save their family’s reputation, they decide to get married. They get married just because they are expecting a child together and after 3 months of married life, they discover that they really had nothing in common. The young marriage is already on the rocks but they decide to stay in it. Emeka begins to date other women outside while Sandra is secretly having an affair with her boss at work.

Sex is one of the most beautiful adventures any couple can experience but God designed sex to be between a married couple. Abstain till marriage to avoid such heartaches and trauma. In case you know that you cannot abstain till marriage, please the next option is the correct use of a condom. The reason why I omitted the second option after abstinence which is “Being Faithful” is because, faithfulness can help avoid sexually transmitted infections (if both partners are really faithful) but this doesn’t avoid pregnancy. Don’t be a Sandra, keep yourself till marriage. Sex is worth waiting for.

The 80-20 Rule of Relationships


John is a banker in his late twenties. His meteorological rise to the top of his bank’s management structure has been nothing but phenomenal. He is married to a very pretty fashion designer called Agnes. Agnes is very tall for a lady standing at 6 feet and was a model who came 2nd runner up in the Miss Nigeria 2005 beauty pageant. John and Agnes have been married for over a year now and have been doing well both at home and at work.
By the way, my name is Troy and I am John’s best friend (I was his best man at their wedding..if you must know). John and I have been friends since primary school and have been best buddies for over 10 years so best believe that all I am about revealing to you is classified but yet verified to be the truth.
Sorry for digressing, let’s get back to the romantic story of John and Agnes. So where was I? yes, John and Agnes have been married for over a year and are so much in love with each other. Three years before John and Agnes got married, there was Jennifer. I didn’t like Jennifer for anything, she was rude, disrespectful, unapproachable, arrogant and she no even fine sef but according to John she was the best thing that ever happened to him in bed.
So John and Jennifer breakup, he meets Agnes who is so humble, sweet, caring, in short she’s a wife material. He ends up marrying her and they are having a swell time as husband and wife until cracks in the relationship begin to appear. Not until Agnes moved out of their matrimonial home did I take the issue serious and got to know the reason behind the separation. John was apparently having an affair with Jennifer (his ex) and he blamed the affair on his sex life or lack of with his wife. So this big headed buddy of mine is about loosing a wonderful wife because of what he wasn’t getting from her.
This is a prime example of the 80:20 rule in relationships and here is how it works. The 80:20 rule states that you only get 80% of what you want from your partner, but there is 20% that you don’t get. For some couples, the figure might be 90:10 or 60:40 but for the purpose of this piece we’ll just stick with 80:20. In John’s case, Agnes gave him 80% of what he desired in a woman, she’s smart, beautiful, tall, patient, respectful, hardworking but she lacked that 20% he wanted which is dynamic in bed. There came Jennifer who had the 20% that Agnes lacked (dynamic in bed) but lacked the 80% that Agnes had, she was impatient, disrespectful, lazy. Instead of being grateful for the 80% that he had in Agnes, he focused on the 20% she didn’t give him. He saw the 20% she lacked in Jennifer but she also lacked the 80% that Agnes had.  The problem however with going for this 20% is that he has lost 80% of a good thing.

Morale of the story: Nobody is perfect and no relationship is perfect either. There will be moments you will see the things your partner lacks in another person and you will desire those things. Instead of focusing on the things you partner can’t give you which might be very few, focus on the things that your partner gives you which is usually a lot. It is better to fight for that 80% that you do have than to loose it for 20% that you don’t have (and realize too late what you have lost). Appreciate what you have before you loose it for what is not worth it.