7 Reasons You Feel Bad After Having Sex


After God created Adam, He commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat. But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest of it thou shalt surely die”.

This task wasn’t difficult for Adam to keep because the woman wasn’t created when the instruction was passed down to him. So man was busy with dressing and keeping the garden (Genesis 2:15), naming the animals (Genesis 2:19) and enjoying a daily communication/friendly gist with God (Genesis 2:18,20).

While Adam was doing his work, God saw that he needed a help-meet and then God put Adam to a deep sleep and out of his rib created woman.

Eve was created……….

Remember Eve wasn’t around when the instruction was given to Adam. Adam was the one who conveyed the message to Eve.


Up stepped the serpent.

Now let’s understand something about the serpent who deceived both Adam and Even into eating the forbidden fruit.

Firstly, the serpent isn’t responsible for deceiving the Adam and Eve. The culprit is the devil. The serpent was only the medium to which the deception was perpetuated.


Secondly, the devil was formerly an angel in Heaven called Lucifer which means “Day Star” (Isaiah 14:12). Lucifer was in fact a heavenly angel created by God. He was perfect in wisdom and beauty and stood next to God’s throne/(Ezekiel 28:12). He was so beautiful and his voice so Heavenly that he was made the leader of the choir in Heaven ministering to God in worship (Ezekiel 28:13). Then Lucifer decided to attempt to unseat God and then demand that all worship him (Ezekiel 28:17, Isaiah 14:13, 14). It was treason of the worst kind. Lucifer’s discontent became open rebellion against God. One-third of heaven’s angels joined him in an attempt to overthrow God (Revelations 12:3-4). As a result, Lucifer and his followers were cast out of Heaven after they lost a fight for supremacy with Michael and his angels (Revelations 12:7-9).


So after the devil was cast down to Earth with his angels, God created Adam and gave him dominion over the Earth (Genesis 1:28-30).

The devil was having none of it. Not only did his attempt to gain power in Heaven fail so acrimoniously, even on Earth were he was cast down to, he had no power.

So he decided to wrestle power from Adam and Even by deceiving them to sin against God.


In Genesis 3, the devil approached Eve and asked her if it was true that God said they couldn’t eaten the forbidden fruit. She replied “Yes, that’s what God said. We can eat other fruits but not this one because the day we eat it, we will surely die”.
The devil seeing an opportunity to strike then told her “my dear, don’t be deceived, if you eat this fruit, you will not die but your eyes will be opened”.

The gullible Eve, took a second look at the fruit, saw that it was good for food and pleasant to the eyes. She took it eat and gave it to her husband and he did also eat and their eyes were opened. Immediately they saw that they were naked and sowed leaves together and covered themselves up.


Let’s stop here and let me show you how this story relates to sex.

Adam and Eve can be likened to every unmarried couple out there to whom God has instructed not to eat the forbidden fruit which is having premarital sex.
Remember the Bible says “the tree in the middle of the garden”. The middle of the garden connotes the penis/vagina. You are very aware that both sexual organs are in between the legs of both genders.


The devil knows that the surest way to take power from young unmarried people on Earth is by tempting them to eat the forbidden fruit (have premarital sex).

In the Bible, he used the serpent, but today he uses porn, sexual explicit videos, sexually active friends, sugar daddies, social media, sexually perverse song lyrics, movies, friends with benefits and many other mediums.


Have you ever wondered why virgins are considered to be mundane, frigid and not exposed? People assume that having sex opens one’s eyes. Having sex actually opens one’s eyes but remember that’s the same promise the devil gave Eve in Genesis 3:5 ‘For God doth know, that in the day ye eat of it, then your eyes shall be opened: and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil’.


So you see the similarities……..

So taking a cue from Adam and Eve, what happens when you have premarital sex?

1. You sin and allign yourself with the devil: By rejecting one of God’s commands, Adam and Eve allied themselves with Satan, God’s enemy, and thus brought separation between themselves and God (Isaiah 59:2). “He that committeth sin is of the devil.” 1 John 3:8. Therefore by having premarital sex, you are working with the devil in rebelling against God. Simple.


2. You hand over power to the devil: Remember Adam and Eve were given charge over Earth by God in Genesis 1:28-30 but as soon as they sinned, they lost it to Satan (Romans 6:16), who then became ruler, or prince, of the earth (John 12:31). Premarital sex or adulterous sex (sex between a married person and another person not their spouse) is directly handing over power to the devil.


3. We become prey to the devil:  Satan bitterly hates humans, who were created in God’s image. He can’t touch God. So, instead, his venom is directed against people who are God’s children. He’s a hateful, vicious murderer whose aim is to destroy you and thus hurt God. By convincing Adam and Eve to sin against God, he made God send them packing from the Garden of Eden. By convincing you to have premarital sex, he has made you loose your heritage in Christ.


4. Repercussions: When Adam and Eve sinned, God cursed them. For Adam he was made to toil endlessly to get his daily bread and take care of his family. For Eve, God multiplied her sorrow and made childbirth excruciating for her. When you sin by committing adultery/fornication, there are repercussions. You will reap what you sow. It’s one of the rules of life. Galatians 6:7 “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh (sexual immorality) shall from the flesh reap corruption: but he that soweth to the Spirit, shall from the Spirit reap life everlasting”.


5. Unanswered prayers: When Adam and Eve sinned against God, when God came into the garden they hid from Him. Sin makes you stink in the presence of God. It makes you unworthy and makes your prayers futile.


So why do some people feel bad after sex?

1. Destination: The Bible says in Ephesians 5:5 “For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. This caution was re-echo’d in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God”.
So having premarital sex means that if you were to die on that bed, you will be going to Hell.


2. Sin against your body: A girl has sex and afterwards starts crying. She knows she has given out her soul and her body to someone undeserving of her. She feels guilty. Feels ashamed. Feels used. Feels unpure. She just sinned against her body and God.
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18).


3. Going against God’s will: God’s desire for sex is for it to be practised in marriage. For the Bible says in Hebrews 13:4a, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure”. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 “For this is the will of God, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God”. Anytime you pleasure in sex, you displease God.


4. You will be judged: The Bible says in Hebrews 13:4b “God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral”. Which means on the judgment day, a special judgement will be reserved for those that engage in premarital sex. So instead of seeing this as the writer judging you (remember you will be judged by God Himself later on), see it as a correction.


5. You are spiritually intertwined: Most people assume that sex is just sex. Sex is more than just sex. Sex is more spiritual that we think. Have you ever wondered why married couples begin to look and think alike after being married for so long? Sex has brought them as one.


The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:13-20 “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.”
You are joined in one body with all those numerous sex partners you have had. Their travails, problems and issues becomes yours.


6. Unanswered prayers: Have you ever wondered why your prayers to God don’t get answered? 2 Timothy 2:22 “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. God only answers those that call upon Him with a pure heart. Sexual immorality pollutes the heart.


7. Love for God: Lastly, premarital sex is disobedience to God and disobeying God shows you don’t love Him. “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15). Anytime you have premarital sex, you display your love for sin and that’s showing your love for Satan because Satan is the father of sin (1 John 3:8).


NOTE: This article is not written to condemn anyone. No one is holy (Romans 3:10). No one is righteous (Ecclesiastes 7:20). No one is perfect (Romans 3:23). It is written for us to slowly and surely correct our ways. Live a life of godliness and remember “because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband (1 Corinthians 7:2).

Get married if you can’t hold yourself and if married, remain faithful.


Vote of Thanks: I woke up this morning without even a hint of this article. I just engaged God in my daily morning prayers and He ministered this article into my heart. I sat down and 4 hours later and in one sitting this article was birthed.

So firstly, I thank the Holy Spirit for this article.
Secondly, I need to appreciate Google for its humongous search engine capabilities. Helped me source for scriptures to back my messages and the beautiful images.
Thirdly, the guys at Amazing Facts, your article on the devil was more than helpful. Thank you. You can read up via: http://www.amazingfacts.org/media-library/study-guide/e/4979/t/did-god-create-the-devil and also Open Bible for so many wonderful scriptures on sexual immorality. Read up via: https://www.openbible.info/topics/sexual_immorality

Stay blessed.

READ: 10 Ways Sex Ruins Relationships

Dating Should Not Be About Sex, It Should Be About……


“Don’t have a boyfriend till you are either old enough or in the University” is a popular advice given to teenage girls by their parents or/and older family members. This advice is valid in a World inundated with sexual immorality and misplaced ideologies. A World where a young boy’s reasoning and conceptualization is saturated with sexual content driven adverts, movies, songs and even music videos. A World where our young girls are driven to change their natural features in a bid to be loved and accepted with the advent of bleaching and other face and body enhancing tricks that ladies use nowadays to deceive men.
The real purpose of dating has actually being defeated. A young girl goes into a relationship with financial security at the back of her mind while a young guy goes into a relationship with sexual security at the forefront of his.
So what is dating in this modern World?
1. Someone to claim as your boyfriend/girlfriend in the face of peer pressure from friends who are dating.
2. Someone to satisfy their sexual urges with.
3. Someone to love and someone to love them.
4. Someone that would alleviate their financial burdens.
5. Someone to selfishly demand from and not deposit into…..

What dating should be:
1. Someone to share present and future dreams with.
2. Someone that encourages and stands by you especially at the hard times.
3. Someone to push you to be better when you have settled for good.
4. Someone to help improve you spiritually, mentally and psychologically.
5. Someone that accompanies you into the tunnels of fear and uncertainty assuring you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel…..

Nowadays, people scarcely date someone that they ‘could’ get married to, they instead date for external pleasures and then when they have ‘enjoyed life’ and are ready to settle down, they search for the ‘someone-I-could-marry’ type and convert him/her to the ‘someone-I-will-marry’ type. This from a girl’s perspective is after having many cars of different sizes pass through her garage and from a guy’s perspective packing their cars at as many garages as possible.

I came across an article of one Fatima Sulaimon, a 22 year old first class graduate of the University of Ilorin, Kwara State, who emerged the best anatomy graduate in her graduating set. She claimed that the secret of her academic success was her boyfriend. She graduated with a Cumulative Grade Average Point of 4.80 emerging as one of the 48 first class graduates in her set. In an interview with Punch, she said; “He encouraged, inspired and assisted me to excel in my studies.” “He encouraged me. At times, even if I woke up in the night and I felt dizzy, I would just put a call across to him and after discussing with him, I would feel okay. He was more of a friend. He encouraged, inspired and assisted me.”

I made a vow with myself never to leave anyone I date the same way I met them. I (without blowing my trumpet) have helped my girlfriend and ex-girlfriends achieve feats they thought unachievable, helped them generate ideas, assisted them academically, helping them grow spiritually, aided them soar physically and mentally. I consider myself an academician who has made studying a passion. Anytime I hear from my girlfriend, before we start talking about mundane things like “what did you eat?”,”where did you go?”, “what are you doing?”, the first question I ask is “what did you do today?”, “what did you learn today?”, “what can I learn from you today?”. That’s my way of making sure she adds value to herself on a daily basis.

I strongly believe that having a boyfriend/girlfriend early is good for a teenager ONLY if they enter and maintain the right principles during the relationship. I strongly pray that one day, we will get to the stage where parents will be okay with their children dating, when parents and kids could discuss dating together without fear or apprehension, when sex or physical contact is the last thing on the mind of both dating parties, when self improvement is at the forefront of any relationship.

My question to you is “why are you dating your boyfriend/girlfriend?”, “what have you added to him/her?”. I implore you to change your perception of dating if yours is flawed.


Meaning of some words:
Car: Penis
Garage: Vagina


10 Ways Sex Ruins Relationships


We all know about sex and how it affects our daily lives. Everyone of us apart from test tube babies are born out of sexual intercourse between a male and a female. The jury is still out on the impact of premarital sex but we all agree that sex should only be practiced in the confines of marriage. Let’s not deceive ourselves people are having sex on a daily basis. As a matter of fact, a statistics I discovered in http://www.quora.com states that roughly 240 million people have sex daily and I can guess not up to 30% of these people are married. Anyways back to the matter at hand, this article just analyses the different ways premarital sex can affect a relationship detrimentally.

1. Faulty Foundation: A relationship built on friendship and companionship will always last longer than a relationship built on sex. The part a solid foundation plays in the solidification of a building cannot be overemphasized. No matter how beautiful a building is, if the foundation is faulty its only a matter of time before that building collapses. When sex is used to build a relationship, more times than not it doesn’t last.

2. Disappointment: Have you ever wondered why people that marry as virgins are more content with their sex lives in marriage than people that had lots of sex before marriage. This is simply because there is no level for comparison between current and former sexual partner. The only reason you will enjoy vanilla ice cream over strawberry ice cream is because you have tasted both and you prefer one over the other. As soon as you taste sex outside marriage and you are not deriving the same pleasure you did prior to marriage while in marriage, a sense of disappointment engulfs you.

3. Over-dependency  This question is directed to the ladies; have you ever dated someone that avoids you when you are on your period? Someone that anytime you both see, sex is always on the menu? When sex is all that binds a couple together, not companionship or friendship then I can rest assure you that as soon as her/she gets better sex outside, you are on your way to be called an ex.

4. Cheating: There are many reasons people cheat but one of the major reasons happens to be sex related. An interesting study published in 2005 found that more men cheat because of sex than women. If a girl thinks she can satisfy her man in bed, guess what another girl thinks she can satisfy your man her man better.

5. Diseases: The rate at which sexually transmitted diseases are transferred from one person to another through sex is alarming these days. People don’t realize that they are having sex with more than 10 people when they are having sex with an unfaithful partner. For example, you have sex with a guy that has unprotected sex with 5 other girls. Those girls had sex with one other guy each which means whatever they contacted from those guys have been transferred to her unfaithful boyfriend who then transfers it to her. STIs are not limited to HIV, it also includes other infections like gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes and many others.

6. Aborted Dreams: when a lady gets pregnant in marriage its a joy for her family but when a lady gets pregnant outside marriage she becomes a scorn to her family. It’s either she aborts and dies trying, she aborts and lives with the guilt forever, she aborts and destroys her womb or she gives birth to the child and has to stop her education to take care of the baby. For more info on premarital pregnancy and its effects, see (The Domino Effects of Premarital Pregnancy: http://wp.me/p4d0zy-5x)

7. Distrust: If your spouse was unable to show self-control before marriage what makes him or her have self-control after marriage? Many people have affairs because they have never demonstrated control of their sexual drive prior to the marriage vows. Premarital sex can lead to adultery, which is a high cause of divorce.

8. Disrespect: Often having a sexual relationship in dating can lead to feelings of being used and rejected. A lady has sex with her boyfriend and when they break up, the guy moves on easily but the lady feels used which affects her relationship with other men.

9. Spiritual Disconnection: The Bible frowns on premarital sex and when practiced outside the confines of marriage has a way of disconnecting us from God. Remember premarital sex is a sin and according to 1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee from sexual immorality”.

10. Disillusionment: Sex has a way of clouding our judgement and keeping us blind to a person’s faults and bad habits. I remember a friend who came to me with a heavy heart, she claims that her boyfriend hits her at any slight provocation but after he hits her, she begs and they have makeup sex which according to her is usually the best sex ever. She has this amazing sex life with this woman beater and this clouds her judgment of him. I asked her the day he finally damages one of her eyes with his beatings, would she enjoy the sex with one eye? That question made her think straight and look beyond the sex to the real matter at hand. Sex is like a plaster that covers an injury. It might cover the hurt you feel inside for a short time but after a while, the plaster falls off and you are exposed to the hurt for a life time.

Paul’s solution in 1 Corinthians 7:25-28 for dealing with sexual desires and avoiding the problems listed above is to get married and have sex (a lot of God-ordained sex..*wink*). Getting married doesn’t necessarily solve sexual temptations but its a good place to start.

Thanks for reading and please lets encourage abstainance till marriage by sharing this article with friends on social media. #Cheers


Contact Kurtis Smith for relationship advice, counseling, freelance writing and consultancy work along with speaking at public or private events via these means:
Twitter: @kurtissmithblog
Email: kingkurtissmith@gmail.com
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The Domino Effects of Premarital Pregnancy


Sandra is a smart teenager who aspires to be a lawyer. During the course of her studies, she meets Emeka who dreams of taking over his father’s electronics business in Alaba International Market. They both meet and fall in love, one thing led to another she gets pregnant. This pregnancy has implications and will be analysed using the domino effect which states that a chain reaction occurs when a small change causes a similar change nearby.

1. Abortion and Infertility: She aborts the baby at 2 months old and moves on with her life. She gets married and 5 years after her wedding day is yet to get pregnant. A trip to the doctor with her husband and a few tests after shows that her womb was affected by the abortion she had while in the University. She can never give birth (unless a miracle happens), so her husband out of frustration gets another woman pregnant, moves her into the house as his second wife and Sandra feels devastated and betrayed.

2. Abortion and Guilt: She aborts the baby successfully and it doesn’t affect her womb in anyway. As she grows older and sees other children, she gets psychologically affected with the thoughts of the child she killed in her womb. Anytime her pastor preaches on abortion, she goes home to cry. She sees a child and immediately imagines the child she once had but never gave birth to. She lives forever with guilt.

3. Childbirth: She decides not to abort the baby. She approaches Emeka (the child’s father) about the pregnancy and Emeka humorously asks her the infamous question “who is the father?”, in tears she affirms that he is the father but Emeka vehemently denies paternity and breaks up with her terminating all forms of communication between them. She proceeds to inform her parents of the pregnancy and out of sheer disappointment and in a bid to save their reputation, they send her to Ghana to stay with her sister who resides there until she gives birth. She had to take a break from school, she had to put her dreams on hold, she has to live with the shame of premarital pregnancy. Her parents and her boyfriend want no hand in the upbringing of the baby so she struggles to make enough money to take care of herself and the baby so she ventures into a sugar daddy lifestyle and prostitution.

4. Baby Mamma Syndrome: Sandra is single with a child to take care of by herself. She meets James during her stay in Ghana but after a while she finally discloses to him that she has a child. James becomes distant and breaks up the relationship. After James comes Tope, after Tope came Chris but all these men claimed to love her but did not want to get married to a single mother.

5. Father-less child: Over a million children are born out of wedlock every year and most grow without the influence of a father. A child grows up with the knowledge that his/her father denied him/her from childbirth can only cause resentment towards that man and other men in general.

6. Forced Marriage: So Sandra tells Emeka about the pregnancy but instead of denying, he accepts paternity. They are not ready for marriage but in a bid to save their family’s reputation, they decide to get married. They get married just because they are expecting a child together and after 3 months of married life, they discover that they really had nothing in common. The young marriage is already on the rocks but they decide to stay in it. Emeka begins to date other women outside while Sandra is secretly having an affair with her boss at work.

Sex is one of the most beautiful adventures any couple can experience but God designed sex to be between a married couple. Abstain till marriage to avoid such heartaches and trauma. In case you know that you cannot abstain till marriage, please the next option is the correct use of a condom. The reason why I omitted the second option after abstinence which is “Being Faithful” is because, faithfulness can help avoid sexually transmitted infections (if both partners are really faithful) but this doesn’t avoid pregnancy. Don’t be a Sandra, keep yourself till marriage. Sex is worth waiting for.

The 80-20 Rule of Relationships


John is a banker in his late twenties. His meteorological rise to the top of his bank’s management structure has been nothing but phenomenal. He is married to a very pretty fashion designer called Agnes. Agnes is very tall for a lady standing at 6 feet and was a model who came 2nd runner up in the Miss Nigeria 2005 beauty pageant. John and Agnes have been married for over a year now and have been doing well both at home and at work.
By the way, my name is Troy and I am John’s best friend (I was his best man at their wedding..if you must know). John and I have been friends since primary school and have been best buddies for over 10 years so best believe that all I am about revealing to you is classified but yet verified to be the truth.
Sorry for digressing, let’s get back to the romantic story of John and Agnes. So where was I? yes, John and Agnes have been married for over a year and are so much in love with each other. Three years before John and Agnes got married, there was Jennifer. I didn’t like Jennifer for anything, she was rude, disrespectful, unapproachable, arrogant and she no even fine sef but according to John she was the best thing that ever happened to him in bed.
So John and Jennifer breakup, he meets Agnes who is so humble, sweet, caring, in short she’s a wife material. He ends up marrying her and they are having a swell time as husband and wife until cracks in the relationship begin to appear. Not until Agnes moved out of their matrimonial home did I take the issue serious and got to know the reason behind the separation. John was apparently having an affair with Jennifer (his ex) and he blamed the affair on his sex life or lack of with his wife. So this big headed buddy of mine is about loosing a wonderful wife because of what he wasn’t getting from her.
This is a prime example of the 80:20 rule in relationships and here is how it works. The 80:20 rule states that you only get 80% of what you want from your partner, but there is 20% that you don’t get. For some couples, the figure might be 90:10 or 60:40 but for the purpose of this piece we’ll just stick with 80:20. In John’s case, Agnes gave him 80% of what he desired in a woman, she’s smart, beautiful, tall, patient, respectful, hardworking but she lacked that 20% he wanted which is dynamic in bed. There came Jennifer who had the 20% that Agnes lacked (dynamic in bed) but lacked the 80% that Agnes had, she was impatient, disrespectful, lazy. Instead of being grateful for the 80% that he had in Agnes, he focused on the 20% she didn’t give him. He saw the 20% she lacked in Jennifer but she also lacked the 80% that Agnes had.  The problem however with going for this 20% is that he has lost 80% of a good thing.

Morale of the story: Nobody is perfect and no relationship is perfect either. There will be moments you will see the things your partner lacks in another person and you will desire those things. Instead of focusing on the things you partner can’t give you which might be very few, focus on the things that your partner gives you which is usually a lot. It is better to fight for that 80% that you do have than to loose it for 20% that you don’t have (and realize too late what you have lost). Appreciate what you have before you loose it for what is not worth it.