7 Things Women Want (Part 7): Care

beautiful girls

This is a continuation of the series, READ:
Part 1: Acknowledgment
Part 2: Affirmation
Part 3: Attention
Part 4: Affection
Part 5: Security
Part 6: Communication

A lady wants to know for certain that you care about her. Caring connotes caring about her to the smallest element of her life. This includes her well being, her family, her education, her career and many more. A lady is not supposed to want something and have to ask you all the time for you to realize that she wants something. When women want something from their man, they give out clues to that effect. Its only sensitive men that care enough to pay attention to the clues she is giving out and get her what she wants. For example, a lady wants a new phone, she will give her spouse clues like “baby, this my phone is not good, its always having problems, its always crashing, the battery is bad”. She doesn’t have to come out straight and say “baby, please buy me a new phone”. She has given you clues, if you can’t get her a new phone, buy a good fairly used phone. If you can’t get her a phone at all, then take her phone for repairs. Caring to a lady doesn’t always have to be financially motivated, caring includes helping her with work, helping her with assignments, helping her get the groceries, helping her around the house. Ladies love men that genuinely care about them.

7 Things Women Want (Part 6): Communication


This is a continuation of the series, READ:
Part 1: Acknowledgment
Part 2: Affirmation
Part 3: Attention
Part 4: Affection
Part 5: Security

Relationships don’t exist in a vacuum. They exist between two emotional human beings who bring their own past experiences, history, and expectations into it. Communication doesn’t only include everyday ‘surfacey’ topics like (“How were the kids?” “How was work?” “How’s your mother?” “What have you eaten?”). You need to communicate more important things to her, you need to communicate your future plans with her, you need to communication your fears, your regrets in life with her. A woman loves an open and genuine communication with her man.
Being open means talking about things you may have never talked about with another human being before in your life. It means being vulnerable and honest with your partner, completely and unabashedly. It means opening yourself up to possible hurt and disappointment. But it also means opening yourself up to the full potential of all a relationship can be.
To communicate better and more effectively in your relationship, you don’t only have to talk. You can communicate in other ways — through your actions, and nowadays, electronically too (through BBM, Whatsapp, Skype, Twitter). Genuine and honest communication with your woman makes her feel part of your struggles, success, pain and joy. Talk to her about you. Honestly.

Continue–} Part 7: Care

7 Things Women Want (Part 5): Security


This is a continuation of the series, READ:
Part 1: Acknowledgment
Part 2: Affirmation
Part 3: Attention
Part 4: Affection

Every woman and I mean every single woman wants security. Security can be subdivided into 3 segments.
A. Financial Security.
B. Emotional Security.
C. Physical Security.
A woman desires a financial secure relationship, she also wants an emotionally secure relationship and she craves for a physical secure relationship.

A. Physical Security: Have you ever wondered why ladies like tall guys or well built guys? Have you ever wondered why ladies are not attracted to short guys or guys they are taller than? In most cases, ladies like tall and well built guys because there is a feeling of security they feel when with them. They feel secure around them. They feel the tall or well built guy can protect them when and if the need arises. The irony is some tall or well built guys are cowards and will run faster than you if they smell danger while some short guys will kill for their lady. As long as you can stand up to anybody in defense of your woman, she will feel physical secure around you.

B. Emotional Security: A woman wants to be certain that she is the only woman in your life. A woman wants to be sure that she has a future with you. A woman wants to be certain she is not wasting her time in a relationship. A woman wants to know you will be there for her through thick and thin. If you have to hide your phone or password your phone when she is with you means there is something wrong somewhere. If you have to go out to answer certain calls means there is something wrong somewhere. Remind her of her importance in your life and do that as often as you can.

C. Financial Security: Last but definitely the most important to some ladies is financial security. A woman wants to be sure that you can take good care of her. That you can take care of your family. In most cases, even if the money is not showing now, she wants to be sure you have the desire, the dream, the zeal, the aspiration to be financially stable and in turn take good care of her.

Continue–} Part 6: Communication Part 7: Care

7 Things Women Want (Part 4): Affection

sweet ladies


This is a continuation of the series, READ:
Part 1: Acknowledgment
Part 2: Affirmation
Part 3: Attention

A woman needs affection, she needs love in the total package. First of all, there should some form of affection in your words. When she calls or you call her, sound excited to hear her voice. Make it look like hearing her voice just brightened your day. Let her feel the excitement in your voice when you both converse on phone.

Another way of showing affection to a woman is by little physical contact. Women love physical contact with someone they cherish. Learn to hold her hand when you both are watching a movie or walking on the road or at the beach. Learn to peck your lady. I didn’t say kiss but peck her as often as you can. In my own description, a peck on the forehead means “I adore you”, a peck on the cheek means “I cherish you”, a peck on the neck means “I appreciate you”, a peck on her lips (a peck not a kiss) means “I love you”. At first, peck her and tell her what it means. After a while she will know what each peck means, so most times you don’t have to say the words, a peck at a particular place on her face sends the message. Affection could also include putting your hand on her leg in a non sexual manner when talking to her or when driving or when watching a soccer match. It could also include putting your hand across her shoulder when walking or when looking at something together.

Lastly, affection could be sexual (married couples only). Make her feel like sex is not what you do only when you are horny or what you do only when you both want kids. Make her think of having sex with you at work and run back home just to get a quickie. Don’t make your sex life boring with the bed only routines. Do it in the kitchen, do it in the bathroom, do it on the beach, do it in the parlor, do it in car. Spice up your sex life by changing styles and doing at least one new thing every time. For men, sex is a short distance sprint while for women its a long distance race. A woman’s body is filled with so many nerve endings (sexually aroused spots), take your time to maneuver these spots before you enter the promised land.
Remember affection should be 80% nonsexual and just 20% sexual, don’t touch your wife only when you want sex. Touching her makes her feel special and important to you.

Continue–} Part 5: Security, Part 6: Communication Part 7: Care

7 Things Women Want (Part 3): Attention

wana be cute

This is a continuation of the series, READ:
Part 1: Acknowledgment
Part 2: Affirmation

Women love attention.
Women need attention.
Women crave for attention.
Most times it doesn’t matter who gives them that attention but women love being noticed that’s why they dress well or try to look good even if they are just going across the street to buy maggi. Attention to a woman is like saying “I am important to you”. Attention from her man will make any woman feel loved and appreciated. When a woman talks to her spouse about a problem she is having, in most cases its not for the man to proffer solutions but for the man to give her a listening ear (attention).

Therefore men, whenever a woman talks to you about a problem she is having just listen and keep making remarks like “hmmmm, ahhhhh, are you serious?, wow, you don’t say, really” until she finishes talking. Don’t tell her what to do about the situation till she says “so what do you think I should do?”. Then and only then should you offer advice but I can bet you that in most cases, she already knows what to do, she just wants you to hear about it. Let’s imagine a lady spends so much time in the salon making her hair, even if you are watching a football match, she expects you to leave the match for some time and notice her new hair before returning back to your match.

No matter how busy you are, you should always find time to check on your spouse and give her the attention she craves for. You need time to build any relationship, if you don’t have enough time for your wife then don’t get married yet.

Continue–} Part 4: Affection, Part 5: Security, Part 6: Communication Part 7: Care

7 Things Women Want (Part 2): Affirmation

fine fine ladies

This is a continuation of the series, READ:

Part 1: Acknowledgment

Its not a secret that women are moved by what they hear while men are moved by what they see. A woman is unsure of many things in her life. She is unsure of how she looks, how perfectly drawn her eye brows are, how nice her hair looks and smells, how she looks in a dress etc-No wonder they are always with their makeup bags and mirror all the time.
A lady is also uncertain of her place in your life, of your love for her and if you value her above all other beautiful women. It is a man’s duty to reassure his lady with his words and actions. Women need to be reassured on a daily basis of how wonderful, beautiful and special you think they are. Don’t wait till her birthday, or your anniversary or even Valentine’s day to remind a woman of your love for her.
The Bible says in Lamentations 3:22-23  “The mercies of the Lord are new every morning” meaning yesterday’s mercies are not enough for today so God makes available brand new mercies every morning. We can relate this verse to reassurance as the compliments of yesterday is never enough when dealing with a woman. You must learn to compliment her everyday and as often as possible. For example, a lady spends 5 hours in the salon and you don’t compliment her hair? Now that’s a crime in my opinion. It is a criminal offense for a lady to spend so much time making up, getting dressed, brushing her hair and looking good for an outing with you for you not to notice and acknowledge her. Every time you have an opportunity to compliment your woman, take full advantage of it because it’s your compliment that matters the most to her.
When a woman cooks, make her feel like the best cook in the world. When she takes care of the kids, make her feel like the best mum in the world. When she takes care of you in bed, make her feel like the best sexual partner you have ever had and will ever want (for only married couples plssss..lol).
Wake up in the morning and say words like “I just love you, I am ready to wake up every morning with you by my side for the rest of my life, you make my life complete”. In the afternoon you spice it up with “baby, just called to tell you how much I miss you, how much you complete me, I can’t wait to leave this ‘boring’ work and spend time with my princess”. At night, you add it up a notch with words like “you are the air I breathe, you are the one for me, you make me the happiest man in the world, you make living without you seem impossible”. When you make your wife feel good, you will reap the dividends.
Words are powerful and even more important to women. Women are more sensitive to words than men do so never use your words to bring your woman down. Never ever use your words to belittle her! Never compare her with other women because she is the only authentic piece of her there is and will ever be. Always lift her up with your words.

Finally, here is a secret I always love to share. ‘Your woman will act the same way you make her feel. If you make her feel like your queen, then she acts like your queen. Plant love and reap love.’

Continue–} Part 3: Attention, Part 4: Affection, Part 5: Security, Part 6: Communication Part 7: Care

7 Things Women Want (Part 1): Acknowledgment

3 beautiful damsels

Women are emotional beings while men are logical beings. Men are totally different from women in terms of how they think, act, talk and behave. No wonder someone once said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Women are very easy to understand but the problem men have is that they act like men and think like men when relating to women. To successfully relate to a woman, you have to act like a man and think like a woman. When men relate to their fellow men, they do so for information while women relate for affection. For example, when a man calls a fellow man, you will hear something like “Hi John, how are you doing, I wanted to find out if you will be coming for the meeting at Eko Hotel tomorrow, alright den, take care, bye”…that’s a man calling for information. When a woman calls, the conversation goes like this “hi dear, how was your night, hope u slept well, what have you eaten today, how is work going”…that’s a woman calling for affection. When conversing with a lady and you think like a lady, then you will know that women talk for affection so you indulge her. You don’t just call a lady when you need a favor or you require information, you call her to check on her, to find out what she has eaten, how work is going, what she wore to work etc.

Another problem men have with women is the fact that they tend to treat their wives/fiancee/girlfriend like they would their mothers. The issue with this ideology is the fact that a mother’s love is totally different from a spouse’s love. A mother’s love doesn’t have to be reciprocated while that of a spouse must be reciprocated. For example, if you don’t call your mother she will keep calling to check on you. If you are a stubborn child, she will still love you. If you hate her, she will still love you. If you don’t take care for her, she will still love you. A mother’s love for her child is not controlled by emotions but by responsibility. The love comes from deep down in her soul not from her heart. On the other hand, the love your spouse has for you is totally dependent on how you treat her. In relationships/marriage, you love to be loved. You give to in order to receive. She can’t be the only one giving for the relationship to work, you must give your own quota.

Another aspect of acknowledgment is detailed in 1 Peter 3:7 which says

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

When dwelling (in r’ship) with a woman, the Bible advises that you use knowledge. It didn’t say use your male macho, it said knowledge. It also says you should honor her as a weaker vessel. Weaker here doesn’t mean physical or emotional weakness, it simply means she’s softer, more fragile and less rugged than the man. It also said that both of you are heirs together of the grace of life which means a woman has the same right to success, the same right to happiness, the same right to love, the same right to the good things in life as the man. Lastly, it says that if you don’t treat your wife well, your prayers will not be answered. So the way you treat your wife determines if your prayers to God will be answered or not. Treat her badly and your prayers will be hindered (according to the Bible).

In conclusion, women want you to acknowledge that:
1. They are women and should be treated as such, not as you would treat your fellow man.
2. They are special in their own way.
3. They are not your mothers, so never make them feel inferior to her.
4. They are fragile and softer than men and should be treated with care and love.
5. Treat her the way you want to be treated. If you don’t love her don’t expect to be respected in return.

Part 2: Affirmation, Part 3: Attention, Part 4: Affection, Part 5: Security, Part 6: Communication Part 7: Care